|: Cigarettes and Candy :| Carlisle... - Chapter 8: Chapter 8

Declan's POV
He gestured to a oil painting that seemed almost dull compared to the rest, the river was a deep teal and the bridge and small buildings were a calming beige.
"Sixteen forties in London." He introduced, and I looked back to the wooden framed painting. "The London of my youth."
That's over three hundred and fifty years ago! I felt my heart rate speed up and my hands grow sweaty. That's more then I thought. Why am I nervous all of a sudden? He's still Carlisle.
"Sixteen forty?!" I hissed. "Fuck, you're old."
His laugh was loud and it made me jump and turn to find him with his hand over his mouth. I smiled and glanced back at the painted to keep me from laughing back.
"I'm not that old in my kinds standards." He chuckled.
"You're over three hundred and seventy years old! That's old on all standards. Fuck you were around before electricity!" I exclaimed.
His smile grew wide and he crossed his arms over his chest. "That's true."
"Do you still think that the earth is flat?" I gasped, trying to get the sentence out without laughing.
"No! Of course not, you didn't truly think that I-"
I cut him off with my loud laughter, "you did! You used too!"
"Everyone used too!" He hissed.
My laughter got louder and more obnoxious. I reached a hand out towards Carlisle and patted his chest.
"You are so cute, I wanna beat you up." I wheezed between laughs as I hunched over and placed my hands on my knees.
"Please don't." His eyes sparkled as his chuckles died down.
I straightened up, "Okay, okay. Keep going, what's next."
"My father was a clergyman, he had a harsh view of the world." He said looking at a painting of a fall scene.
I grew silent as I thought about the time period Carlisle is from. All the gruesome things I've read about and all the time that has past is making my toes feel numb.
It's not funny anymore.
What kind of horrible acts has Carlisle witnessed?
"The seventeenth century was the time of the witch hunts right? I know in Salem there was the witch trials, but was London different?" I asked softly, suddenly feeling shy.
He looked down sullenly, "no, in fact it's might've been worse. My father believed in more than witches."
"I want to know." I began. "You can tell me I don't care about how dark it is. You can tell me how you lived."
I hate knowing that he had to live through such terrible and dirty things. Carlisle is such a kind hearted person but he was forced to live a life that's anything but kind.
"My whole life there was weekly executions or burnings. My father was the man everyone would go to if they believed a monster was among us. It didn't take much to convince him." He explained.
"Oh." I mumbled. "It was bad wasn't it?"
He nodded, his face saddened and he looked at me with pity.
I swallowed and looked back at his paintings. I've read about some one the torture methods and forms of execution. It was the most disgusting and heinous things, things I couldn't even believe. I was kept up at night in fear after reading about it.
"Are you okay?" Carlisle asked.
I tensed when I felt his hand on my back, between my shoulder blades. The touch was gentle and hardly there but it was still too much.
"I-I don't like it when people touch my back." I stuttered, feeling guilty.
His hand was gone instantly. "I'm terribly sorry. It will not happen again."
I rolled my shoulders and shook my head, trying to shake away the feelings of panic. "No it's okay, it's just-, well it's-. I'll tell you about it a different time. I don't want to talk about it right now."
Carlisle looked confused and maybe a bit concerned for a moment. "Are you sure you're okay?"
"I'm fine, I've just been caught off guard, by everything really." My teeth tugged on my lip piercing. "I haven't done anything like this before, I'm overwhelmed. I'm sorry."
"You've never visited a vampire family before?" His lips twitched into a smirk. "There's no need for apologies."
"Would you believe me if I said I've never really had many friends?" I chuckled softly after a few calming breaths.
He lightly gripped my wrist and led me to the couch on the other side of the room. "No actually, you are easily likable. I couldn't understand why it would be hard for you to make friends."
I sat down and moved to let him sit next to me. "Well, I have one friend, his name is Adam. You two would get along, I'm sure. You're both dorks."
He looked away from me with narrowed eyes. "I don't think I've ever been called a dork before."
The word dork sounds odd coming from him, I tried to swallow my laughter but I still giggled.
"What?" He looked at me with a single arched brow.
"Nothing, nothing." I shook my head, "it's just weird hearing you talk like that."
My giggles turned to a full laugh when his face grew confused. His eyebrows and furrowed and his lips are pursed. He's so cute
"Wait! Wait! Say 'hell yeah'", my hand went over my mouth to conceal my obnoxious laughter.
Carlisle rolled his eyes with a huff, "Hell yeah."
I could no longer hold in my laughs and I grabbed a fistful of his sleeve. Fuck this sweater is soft.
"Hell yeah!" A booming voice said from the doorway.
"Emmett!" I excitedly spoke, "I didn't know you were here."
"I'm stealing you from Carlisle, and we're gonna go play video games. Jasper too." He smiled his signature dimpled smile.
Carlisle looked back to me, "well, you did ditch Jasper."
I stood up with a scoff, "I ditched Jasper?! You dragged me away from him!" I hissed.
"Yeah, dude." Emmett Saint from the doorway, "you need to learn how to share."
Carlisle stood from his seat and adjusted his scarf, "I'll remember that. I'll make sure to apologize to Jasper later."
Now it was Emmett's turn to scoff. "No you won't", his tone was light and joking.
Carlisle just gave him a small smirk and sat down at his large desk.
I wanted to speak but Emmett was already dragging me by me sleeve to the stairs. I followed as quickly as I could to keep up with the large man and chuckled as I nearly tripped.
I've never had a great relationship with my brothers, they're older and never wanted to spend time with their little sibling. I've always been sad about our lack of a relationship, but Emmett feels like a brother.
Adam definitely filled some of the gap left by my lack of family but, we didn't grow up together or play games when we were kids. We met when I was nine and he was twenty, so he's much older then me and took on the roll of a caretaker rather then someone to play with.
He made sure I was fed and that my clothes were warm. He suffered dealing with my psychotic mother everyday just to make sure I was safe. He saw a child in a terrible situation and he did his best to do something about it. He's earned my respect and my trust.
Emmett feels less like that, and more like a brother I can goof off with. He still has a youthfulness that the other Cullens, besides Alice, seem to lack. He looks like he and Carlisle could be the same physical age, but Emmett is clearly younger. He has to be, right?
"Hey, Emmett?" I asked from the couch of the second living room.
"Mmm yeah?" He answered.
I took the game controller he handed me. "How old are you?"
He sat next to me as Jasper walked into the room. "I was born in nineteen fifteen, changed in nineteen thirty five."
I took that in and then looked over to the chair Jasper was sat in on my left. "Jasper? What about you?"
He smirked at me, "I was born in eighteen forty four."
"Shit, you're old too." I stared at him.
He and Emmett laughed matching deep laughs. I chuckled at the sound, my own voice not nearly as deep. I ignored the tight feeling in my chest at that fact and turned back to the soccer game Emmett said was fun.
After learning the controls, I still sucked and couldn't even compete with Emmett. Jasper tried to help me by telling me what buttons to press but I still sucked.
The three of us just ended up laughing until I had tears in my eyes and it was some of the most fun I had in my life. I never really played video games as a child, I had my brothers old gameboy to play Pokémon on, but never anything like this.
When Jasper took my place I could see how the game was really meant to be played and I was shocked that Emmett thought I'd be able to figure that out. I decided I was rooting for Jasper when he still tried to explain the controls as he played.
Carlisle eventually came down and sat in a nearby chair with a large book in his lap. He didn't pay much attention to the game but he still smiled when someone had something funny to say like Emmett's trash talk or Jasper's fake compliments.
I wondered where the Cullen women and Edward were and had a small moment of panic when I thought they were avoiding me. I know that logically that's not true, Alice sits with me in our shared classes everyday and Rosalie and I talk everyday at lunch. I just met Esme but we got along really well have we have a lot of things in common.
However, I wouldn't be surprised if Edward was avoiding me. He doesn't seem to like me very much. At first I thought it was something I said, then after learning about his gift I thought it was something I thought. As it turns out my mind to him is a lot like Charlie's, apparently it's hard to decipher what we think and the words are foggy.
I couldn't help but to feel thankful about that, I'd hate for Edward to hear my thoughts. The endless panic and dysphoria and the more recent thoughts about how cute his dad is would be embarrassing knowing he was listening.
After a few hours and a few turns at the game, Carlisle stood.
"I think it's time to drive Declan home, boys." He put his book of the coffee table and I'm surprised the glass didn't shatter under the weight of the textbook.
"But, he's almost figured out how to play." Emmett whined like a child and I giggled and pushed on his shoulder.
"I don't want to miss my curfew, Charlie would be disappointed." I stood from my spot between the two and stepped around Jasper's legs.
I followed Carlisle to the doorway but turned back to Jasper, "text me the answers to the history homework, I don't feel like doing it."
Emmett laughed as Jasper nodded. "Whatever you need, Declan."
I smiled and followed Carlisle down the hallway before reaching his side.
"Are we getting my flowers now?" I asked, I'm excited to see what he put together for me.
He nodded with a shy smile, "I really hope you like it, Esme made the vase just for you."
We entered the kitchen and a intricately painted clay case sat with a bunch of white and yellow daises placed in it. The case was painted with an almost mandala pattern in all shades of blue and green. The top was painted a solid teal color that complimented the white and yellow of the daises well.
Carlisle picked up the vase and handed it to me with gentle hands and timid eyes. I held the vase close to me and pushed the tears away.
No one ever has given me flowers let alone flowers they grew themselves and a handmade vase made for specificity for me. I've gotten some nice gifts over the years from Adam and Renee but this is a new type of gift. This is personal and thoughtful.
"There you boys are." Esme entered the room from behind me. "I heard that Declan was going home and I couldn't let him leave without a goodbye."
I turned to Carlisle, "can you hold these?"
He nodded and I handed the vase back to him and faced Esme. She still looked perfect, like a silent movie actress or a princess.
"May I give you a hug?" She asked kindly with her usual soft voice.
I nodded, "yeah, of course."
She took a few steps closer to me and wrapped her arms around my shoulders. I hugged her back and tried not to tense and the feeling of her arms on my back. Can she feel the scars?
She pulled back before I could even contemplate that thought. She kept her hands on my upper arms and smiled.
"You can visit whenever you want, don't be a stranger." Esme released my arms and took a step back.
I smiled, "I won't, and thank you. For the vase, for everything. Both of you, thank you."
She nodded and looked at Carlisle for a moment and looked at him knowingly and he nodded. I wish I knew what this private exchange meant but I won't pry. After that she turned and walked back into the hallway.
"Alright then, lets get going." Carlisle said, and he walked out into the hallway and down the stairs.
I followed behind him, and I patted the cross as we past. He led me to the front door and held the door open for me.
"I can take the flowers now." I said as I reached him.
Our fingers touched as he handed the vase back to me, his cool fingers brushing over my shaky ones.
"My car is this way", he said and led me down the front stairs and over to where Jasper had parked earlier today.
He took keys out of his pocket and opened up the passenger door of the black Mercedes for me.
"This is your car? I figured the head of the household would drive a helicopter or something." I said as I climbed in and closed the door behind me.
He walked around the car and got in the drivers side, "I prefer boats to be honest."
I pulled on my seatbelt and held my vase on my thighs. "Why am I not surprised?"
He smiled at me and started the car and it hummed to life. Compared to Bella's truck this car is nearly silent. I'm surprised I've grown so attached the Bella's hunk of junk car. It may be loud and rickety but its endearing.
Carlisle turned onto the small dirt road leading to the highway and I held tighter onto my flowers.
"Thank you, again, for the flowers. No ones ever given me such a thoughtful gift." I looked shyly at the daises.
Carlisle chuckled softly, "there's no need to thank me. It was my pleasure."
I mock gasped, "is Carlisle Cullen telling me not to be polite?"
He smirked and shrugged. I held onto my flowers tighter when I started laughing. I've laughed more today then I have in years, is that sad?
"Are you feeling sick or just forgetting your manners?" I joked.
"You're my friend," he shrugged, "I don't have to be nice to you anymore."
I looked out my passenger side window at the passing trees, "honestly, I like you so much. I'd still be your friend even if you were a bitch."
Now it was his turn to laugh, I looked back to him to watch.
"I assure, that will never happen. Call me old fashioned but kindness is always important."
"Wow, thanks for the lesson, Dad. But I'm from New York , I'm supposed to be rude." I explained sarcastically.
Is that a true stereotype? I don't know? Probably? Everyone I've become close to that isn't from New York is so much nicer than me, but is that just my personality?
"I've been to New York plenty of times, that's not a true statement." He shook his head, "well, some of the worst people I've ever met have been from New York."
"Including me." I added, looking back out the window once we got onto the highway.
"No," he looked at me and made sure I was paying attention. "I adore you."
I fiddled with my fingers around the vase, the smell of the daises filling the car.
"Truthfully, I don't understand why all of you are so interested in me. It's just, you guys are so old", I paused as he scoffed. "How could someone who's as old as you be interested in a sixteen year old." I mumbled feeling vulnerable.
"Age has nothing to do with it, and if you truly feel it does, I am physically twenty three. That's younger than your other friend apparently. What makes you think I can't be friends with a teenager?" He questioned.
"I guess, its the fact that you've seen so much. I don't understand what I bring to the table for you." I shyly kept my vision on the window so I wouldn't have to see his face.
I heard him shift. "I've never been friends with someone like you, you're more interesting than you think."
I continued to silently look out the window until I noticed we were closer to Charlie's house then I thought.
"I bet you are more interesting then you feel too. You know so much and have seen so much, I want to hear it all." I said as we pulled up next to the police cruiser.
"I'll make sure that I see you again soon. You can come find me if you need someone, I'm either at our house or the hospital. If you need someone, hunt me down." He reached over and grabbed my shoulder for the seemingly dozenth time today.
I'm gonna miss it, I decided as his thumb pressed onto the skin exposed by the collar of my shirt.
"I'm gonna say it, thanks for the flowers." I thanked him again. "Tell Esme I said thanks."
"Of course." He said as I opened my door.
Once I stood up with the vase I leaned over so I was more his height.
"Thanks for the ride," I said and closed the door before walking quickly to the front door, eager to escape the cold.
I fumbled with my keys in my pocket, before Charlie just opened the door. I heard the car pull away as Charlie said hello.
He let me inside and I walked to the kitchen to set down the vase for a moment. I grabbed a mug and filled it with some water before putting it in the microwave for some tea.
I jumped up on the counter and took a seat with a heavy sigh. "How was your day, Charlie?"
"Alright, the fish weren't biting." He responded giving my flowers a glance. "Where did the flower come from?"
"A gift from Dr. and Mrs. Cullen." It was weird addressing them that way. "Esme made the vase herself."
"Well that's nice of them," he took a seat at the table. "Did you have fun?"
I hopped off the counter when the microwave beeped signaling that my hot water was done. I grabbed a herbal tea bag from the box and let it drop into the water.
"Yeah, actually, I haven't just hung out with my friends in years. I was never allowed to go over to people's houses. My mom," I paused, I couldn't get the words past my lips.
Charlie's expression turned to one of pity, "I know."
I nodded awkwardly, "yeah." I mumbled.
After all this time and now that everyone knows you'd think it'd be easier to talk about her. Everything she did, all the abuse and neglect, you'd think I'd feel better now that I was away. She's in prison, she can't get to me but I feel wrong being away. I was never allowed to be away from my mom.
"I'm going to go to bed, it's late." I said and gathered my tea and flowers.
Charlie and I said our good nights and I headed up the stairs, I went over to Bella's door. I knocked awkwardly with my hands full but she opened the door anyway.
"Declan, you're back. I was beginning to think they were keeping you." She said with his headphones around her neck.
She let me in her room and closed the door behind me. I placed my things on her desk and picked up my mug again.
"You were at their house?" She asked.
I nodded.
"What was it like, everyone at school thinks about that. No ones ever seen it." She mentioned.
"It was like a house out of a modern interior design magazine. They're really nice but I don't know why everyone talks about them so much." I explained.
"They apparently don't and never talked to anyone before you." She said sitting back on her bed as I leaned against her desk.
I shrugged, "I'm going to bed, we can talk more tomorrow."
She nodded, "goodnight, Declan."
I nodded back and gathered my flowers and tea again before walking to me attic door. I somehow opened the door and climbed up the ladder with my hands full.
I placed the flowers and mug on my bedside table and started going through my nighttime routine. I went back downstairs to wash my face and went back to the kitchen with my empty mug after I finished my tea.
Once I went back into the attic, I locked my little door and started to get undressed. I struggled to get out of my binder and crawled under my sheets.
I sent Adam a quick text saying I would call him in the morning and put my phone on my nightstand. I carefully let my wings out and tried to keep them under the covers with me.
I looked at the picture of Adam on my nightstand and did my usual promise and then stared at the flowers I put next to the frame.
There's a large part of me that can't wait for Bella to figure out the Cullens secret, not only because I hate lying to her but I also want to hang out with her too.
I want the Cullens and Bella to be friends, but I can't help push them along. Or at least, I don't know how I would.
Drowsiness came easily enough, I'm worn out after a long day of social interaction. I tried to keep my thoughts happy and positive but my mom lingers in the back of my mind. I curled my wings around myself for comfort and let the darkness take over as I settled into sleep.