Cloud - Chapter 31: Chapter 31

I was sitting on my bed, legs crossed. I was reading, something that I did not do since a very long time. It was Cloud's book. The content of the book were no longer a mystery to me. Every page was filled with pictures and, for a change, comprehensible words.
There was a lot to read and honestly, I felt like if I was invading Cloud's privacy. It was like his biography. At the very beginning was the story of Cloud's childhood. It contained moments that Cloud told me about when we went at the lake but it was more detailed in the book. There was a drawing of the cage that Cloud informed me about. The cage that his mom locked him in and Rain before him.
It was interesting. I wanted to know more, I needed to know more. I was craving for more truth about him. This was my way of being close to him. Cloud and I did not say one word to each other for days. I knew that it was me who went away but he could have at least tried to reach for me, though, he wasn't. He was avoiding me like I was avoiding him.
We were both so complicated at times.
I couldn't bear with it. I couldn't be with him with Eden hiding in the dark, specially when he was still on Cloud's mind and in his heart. Eden was my main problem in all of this. I wanted to get rid of him so much. I was denying my jealousy as much as I could but I knew, deep down, I knew that it was there. I was just lying to myself like always.
Could I admit it to myself though? Could I admit that I was starting to fall for him? It was incredible. I couldn't believe it. I couldn't believe myself. The feeling seemed to be so unreal but at the same time, it consumed me entirely. I couldn't let that happen as his whole existence was enough to destroy me.
"I seriously need help," I whispered to myself and I heard some voices coming from outside of my bedroom.
"Cloud, know that you are disgusting, like really disgusting and my only want is to slap you hard across the face, though, I'm going to trust you with Luffy so don't deceive me, capish?" I recognized Frederick's voice and I frowned. I placed the book aside, leaving it open on the page that I had reached and got out of bed. I walked to the door and opened it a little bit, just enough so that I could take a look outside.
Here was Cloud and Frederick chatting about me it seemed. They didn't seem to have noticed me though.
"You don't have to worry about anything. I'm going to take care of him," Cloud replied to him but Frederick did not seem to believe him.
"You haven't talked to each other for days and from the looks of it, you both aren't doing anything to make the situation better," Fred told him, displeased, and Cloud sighed tiredly. "Luffy is not a toy, specially not your toy."
"I know that."
"It doesn't seem like it to me," Frederick protested. "I have seen you more times than I can count playing with boys and girls like if they were nothing but distractions. My cousin is not one of your distractions. Hurt him again and I swear, you're dead. I'm not kidding."
I slowly closed the door after Frederick's words. What was this whole talk about? Why were they even talking about me so suddenly? Just as I was walking back to my bed, someone knocked at the door and I returned back on my steps to find my big cousin alongside with Cloud now standing at my door.
"Hey, Luf," Frederick greeted me with a smile and I returned a little one to him. "We need to talk about something."
"What is it?" I asked him as I opened the door more widely to let him enter. To my greatest dislike, Cloud too entered and his eyes fell on the book on my bed. He did not say anything about it though.
"Well," Frederick started, capturing my attention. "Listen, it's really hard for me to say this but I'm going back home."
"Home?" I repeated with a frown. "You mean at my house. Is-"
"No, I mean at my house with my parents," he admitted and I felt my heart drop.
"What? But no, you can't do that!" I exclaimed in disbelief and I actually started to feel scared. "You can't leave me, Fred. I need your help."
"I'm sorry but I can't stay. Believe me, I don't want to leave but I have to. There's university and my mom is asking for me to come back home. I need to go back and settle things. It might take one week maxi," he explained and I shook my head quickly.
"But what am I going to do?" I asked him, completely lost. "I need you."
"I know but I promise you, I will be back before you even know it," he insisted. "Besides, you're not alone. You have Nicolas, the twins, Rain and Cloud who will all be there for you. Everything is going to be alright."
No, it wasn't going to be alright. I needed him there. He couldn't go and leave me. What was I going to do? He was one of the things who was preventing me from breaking entirely. His presence reassured me and made me feel safer.
Seeing the look on my face, a sad expression came on Frederick's features. He pulled me into a hug.
"I know that it's a really bad time for me to go. God, I don't want to leave. There is so much going on, leaving you in all this mess is not a great idea, I know it but I have no choice. You'll just have to be patient and wait for my return," he said and he kissed me on the top of the head.
I guessed that there was no point in trying to stop him or to change his mind. I was scared though. Something told me that it was all wrong. I could feel it in the pit of my stomach but I tried to ignore it.
"Okay, I need to go now," Frederick said as he pulled away from me and I looked at him in confusion.
"Are you going now?" I asked him in disbelief and he nodded with hesitation.
"I have been planning my departure for one week now," he admitted and before I had the chance to reprimand him for not telling me sooner, he added, "I know, I know, I should have told you about it sooner but I did not want to stress you so please forgive me."
I sighed before shaking my head in disbelief. Frederick gave me a smile and then he messed with my hair. It made me groan. Now that I thought of it, it had been quite a long time since he last played a prank on me. For years, we had been fighting and arguing. It used to be our thing and now all of it went away.
Frederick informed me that Rain was waiting for him downstairs and I decided to get down to tell him goodbye. We all walked out of my bedroom and went downstairs to the front door. Outside, Rain was putting Frederick's luggage in his car.
"Ready to go, Fred?" Rain asked him when he saw us coming.
"Yeah," my cousin replied as he walked to the car. Rain suddenly grabbed his hand and pulled him in a kiss. I gasped in shock at the sudden action and like me, Frederick's face turned mad red. It was the first time that these two display their affection in front of me. Rain ended the kiss and said the words that nearly made me choke with my own saliva.
"Marry me."
My eyes widened in disbelief while Cloud's simple reaction was to laugh and to fold his arms over his chest. Frederick, on the other hand, just pushed Rain away and shook his head in disbelief.
"Once again, my answer is no," Frederick replied and Rain pouted. The latter was about to reply something when suddenly the earth started to shake. I let out a yelp and seconds after, the shaking stopped.
"What the hell!" I exclaimed. "What was that?"
Rain groaned, "It's probably Cale and Calum. They are training Nicolas."  He returned his attention back to Frederick. "Why won't you say yes? It's like the fifth time that I'm asking."
The fifth time?! I did not think that their relationship was this serious. Well, Frederick and I never talked about it before. He seemed to be always avoiding the question. He seemed to be always hiding his relationship with Rain. Though, too bad for him, my new bedroom was just beside his and I heard things that I would have preferred not to hear in my entire life.
"It's the fifth time and you still did not get on your knees and find me a ring," Frederick snapped at him and he seemed to remember my presence just then. He looked suddenly embarrassed. "Well, Luffy, goodbye, see you soon."
He quickly ran to the passenger seat and got in the car. I let out a laugh and Rain winked at me before getting in the car himself. I waved them goodbye as I watched the car drive away. Once the car was too far away for my sight to reach, I let out a sad sigh and turned around. My eyes met Cloud's and I looked away immediately. Not saying a word to him, I went back into the house and went up the stairs towards my room.
I heard his footstep behind me but I did not look back. I thought that he was going somewhere else but when I opened the door of my bedroom and got in, he entered the room right after me. Deciding to continue to ignore him, I went to sit on my bed and grabbed the book.
"What are you reading?" he asked me then and I sighed, glancing at him.
"Do you have any objections to me reading?" I asked him in response.
"Not really," he replied. "Though, why read when you can ask the writer directly?"
"Because the writer likes to keep some important details to himself," I retorted. "The book is more honest than you."
"Ouch, that's not nice," he said, placing one hand over his heart and I rolled my eyes in front of his acts. I skipped a few pages in the book until one particular drawing caught my attention. It was the drawing of three girls, young ladies, and one of them was really familiar.
"Nova," I said and Cloud came closer to the bed. He looked at the drawing.
"Yeah, it's her," he confirmed and I frowned.
"Who are the two other girls?" I asked him and he tilted his head to the side.
"Azra and Gina," was his unexpected reply and I couldn't believe it. The girls did not look like Azra and Gina at all. He sat on bed beside me and explained himself, "That's their original appearance. I guess that they changed faces over time so that no one recognizes them."
"But what is Nova doing with them?" I asked him in confusion and he hummed.
"Easy, they are her sisters," he answered and I was really surprised. "In New Orleans, there is a circle of witches, called the Trinities, who takes care of the apprenticeship of the younger witches. They are normally girls who had been rejected by theirs families because of theirs powers or orphans. It's there that Nova met Gina and Azra and they became sisters."
I realized it then; I killed Gina and I was partly responsible for Azra's death. Nova knew about that. Then, why did she not tell me anything about it? Why wasn't she angry at me? Why didn't she try to make me pay?
"Nova must surely hate me," I realized. "I killed her sisters."
"I don't think that she would hate you for this. A lot of things happened between those three, they fell apart and they became enemies," he told me and he turned one page of the book. There was another drawing and that one was of Nova and a man in black cloak.
"It's you and Nova," I said and he nodded.
"I met Nova when I did my first trip in New Orleans," he told me. "The Trinities didn't like it when the witches interact with other people of the town but Nova, she liked to break the rules. She would sneak out at night and walk around town. That's how I met her. She was at a bar and she was using her magic to make illusions. She interested me right away and I decided to approach her to have a little fun."
I gave him a look of disbelief but he ignored me and just turned the page once again to show me another drawing. This time, Cloud's cloak was removed and he was standing in front of Nova along with her sisters. They were standing in what looked like an alley.
"Nova sneaked out to have fun and Azra and Gina followed her to return her back to the institution," Cloud continued, "Those two attacked me, thinking that I wanted to warm Nova, though, they were still apprentice witches and I easily knocked them off...well, that was my official meeting with Nova and her sisters."
He did not tell me more and simply closed the book in my face. I looked at him curiously. There seemed to be more to that story than he let on.
"What did you do?" I asked Cloud, suspiciously, and he gave me a confused look. "Do you have anything to do with the fact that Nova and her sisters fell apart?"
He took some time to reply, "Don't look at me with those accusing eyes."
"You do have something to do with it then," I realized and I decided to look inside the book to find the answers that I needed but Cloud snatched itaway. "Give the book to me, Cloud."
"No," he refused and he stepped away from the bed. I glared at him. "I have nothing to do with what happened between Nova and her sisters."
"But?" I said and I got out of bed and tried to get closer to him but he backed away from me.
"But I do have something to do with the change in Azra," he admitted and I frowned.
"What did you do?" I exclaimed and I tried to grab the book but he ran off towards the door. "Cloud!"
"I broke her," he let out and my frown deepened. "I broke her heart."
"You-" I stopped myself, so many thoughts going through my mind suddenly. I took a step back and said, "She loved you."
He sighed and he leaned against the door behind him.
"She fell for me unexpectedly. Well, she was young and she thought that I was her prince charming," he said and he let out a laugh. "But I did not feel the same for her. I couldn't feel anything, so I decided to play with her. You should have seen her, so pathetic and usable. She basically did everything that I wanted. She distracted me for some time but then I got bored, so I threw away the useless toy."
I got it now. When Azra tortured me, she seemed to know so much about Cloud. I thought that she was just making things up but now I knew that she was speaking from experience. She lived through the pain that Cloud caused her.
"Let me guess, you met Azra after you killed Eden," I told him.
"A few years after," he precised and my gaze hardened.
"You don't seem to care," I said, incredulous. "You hurt her so much that she fell into darkness and that doesn't matter to you."
"I did many horrible things in my life and if I have to regret every single being that I had broke, I would be the one breaking," he retorted. "Right, Azra became bad because of me but she was the one who was naive."
"I can't even find the words to describe you," I told him. "I can't believe you. I can't believe myself. What is wrong with me?"
Why? Why even after hearing the bad things that he did in the past did I continue to care for him? Why did he continue to bother me? He was bad but I still couldn't stop myself from falling.
"You shouldn't read this book," he advised me. "Not if you can't bear knowing the truth about me."
"Why did you make this book in the first place?" I asked him.
"It's a gift from my dad," he replied. "It's a book of memories, my memories. I don't have to note anything down, the words appeared by themselves and those-" he stopped talking and opened the book to show me a random drawing. "Those are moments of my life that got ink in the pages of this book forever. It's my way of remembering that my dark past will forever remain."
A book of memories. I did not know that those existed. Maybe that was what I needed after all, a way for me to remember. I could lose myself anytime from now on but if that ever was to happen, I wanted something to show how I got to this end.
"I want one," I said. "I want the same book. It will be to write my own story."
He was surprised by my words and honestly, I surprised myself. I wanted to remember whatever would happen from now and then. Every choice that I made and that I would make needed to remain.
Cloud did not get the chance to reply to me as we suddenly heard the door bell ring. He frowned and it was the same for me. He excused himself and went out of the room to see who it was. I got curious. Who could it be at the door? This house was isolated. I did not think that people even came around here.
"Great, he took the book with him," I realized and I let out a sigh. "I guess that I'm just going to take a shower."
Just as I was walking to the bedroom, I heard a loud noise and then a shout. My eyes snapped in the direction of the door. This was coming downstairs. Without wasting a second, I ran out of the room and went downstairs.
"Cloud," I exclaimed and I stopped midway when he came into my sight.
He wasn't alone.
A woman was with him, except that she was pressed against a wall and Cloud's hand was placed around her throat. She had a smirk on her face but Cloud, his eyes, they were murderous.
"Cloud," I said, "What are you doing?"