Comfy Closets - Chapter 22: Chapter 22

“...how would he react?”
A few seconds of silence passed. My hesitance was enough of an answer for him.
Zach ran a hand through his short sandy hair, the frustrated lines on his face were clear as day. “Figures, out of all the guys I fall for, it had to be a straight guy with a girlfriend. What damn good luck I have,” he sarcastically quipped, shaking his head at himself.
His disappointment was saddening because I honestly didn’t know what would happen. My best friend had accepted me, and I’m sure he would do the same for Zach too, but the circumstances for them were a little different...
Zach had started nervously pacing in front of me, muttering under his breath like he was reprimanding himself for his choice of attraction. I couldn’t let him go on like this any longer.
“Zach,” I called out, causing his pacing to stop as he turned to me. “It’s not going to be so bad.”
“How do you know for sure?” he anxiously asked.
“I’m not... but I know my best friend. I just feel it in my gut that it’ll be alright,” I expressed. I saw uncertainty cloud his features. “I know it’s not much, but my advice is to not worry too much about it. You don’t have to tell him now, just when you’re ready. It can even be after you’ve gotten over him.” I hoped my words could convince him.
He accepted them for now as he nodded in resignation. “I guess. Maybe now isn’t the right time, but Gia has to know. I’ve got to tell her,” he said with sincerity.
I hummed in agreement, my heart warming at how much he cared about her. “Come on, let’s head inside. They might be wondering where we’ve gone.”
Zach nodded, and so we made our way to the entrance again and escaped the winter winds left outside. I was heading to the counter to order the food I originally promised, but Zach stopped me with a hand on my shoulder.
“I’ll order the food, you can go back to the others.” I looked at him curiously. “I just need some time to think, alone, ” he explained.
Nodding understandingly, I made my way to our friends unaccompanied, plopping back down into my seat next to Leah like I never left. “Who’s winning?”
“Me, obviously,” Riley boasted, brushing the non-existent dust off her shoulder.
“I’m winning the competition, though,” my girlfriend mentioned, casually placing her arm on the back of my seat.
“Well I’m going to catch up, so don’t celebrate too soon, president,” Ashton retorted, trying desperately to hold onto his ego.
Leah snorted, not at all intimidated. “Keep on dreaming, Ashybaby.”
“Where the heck did you hear that?! Aly!” he accused, staring daggers at me. I just shrugged, looking all innocent-like.
Gia came back from her turn, blowing out a breath of air. “I’ve been taking your shots, by the way. And let me just tell you, you’re in last place now.”
“Gia! What! I thought you’d help me,” I whined, not liking the feeling of being dead last.
“I tried! I really did!”
“I don’t know how she does it,” Leah commented, “how she can get it into the gutter even with the baby bumpers up.”
“It’s a skill that only Gia has,” Ashton snickered.
“Guys! Stop ganging up on me,” Gia pouted, slouching into her seat.
I patted her head sympathetically. “Aww, G. Fine, I forgive you. Can’t blame you if you can’t bowl.”
“I don’t know if I feel better or worse now.”
The others laughed at Gia’s misery as she took it in stride. Leah leant closer to me and asked in a low voice. “What happened with you and Zach?”
I pursed my lips thoughtfully. “We just talked. I’ll tell you more about it later.”
She hummed in acknowledgement and didn’t ask any further questions about it. “It’s your turn, Lys.”
“Alright,” I heaved myself up. “I am not going to be dead last, so get ready for a comeback, folks.”
“Wooo!” Ash cheered. “Captain mode, hell yeah!”
I rolled up my sleeves, readying myself as I picked up a navy bowling ball. “Captain is gonna show you kiddies how it’s done.”
I looked back to see Leah watching, amused, and so I sent a confident smirk her way. She's definitely going to be impressed. Lifting the ball to my chest, I let out a long breath before taking slow steps forward, gradually increasing in pace and letting my arm swing back before allowing momentum to do its work.
The ball goes straight down the middle, hitting the pins with force.
“Damn it! What the heck do I do now?” I asked as I helplessly looked at the two pins left standing, each on opposite ends from each other.
“Just don’t go down the middle, and you should be okay,” Ashton unhelpfully advised, receiving a deadpan look.
Leah got up from her seat and approached me with a flirtatious smile. “I can help.” She walked up behind me until I could feel her presence just there as her breath brushed my neck. “Just aim right… there,” she whispered, pointing around me to the spot just on the outside edge of one pin.
“It’s just that easy, huh?” I mumbled, glancing over my shoulder at her with a lopsided grin.
“Mhmm,” was her only response. The proximity left between us felt like it had to be closed like two magnets naturally attracted together by unknown forces. Her beautiful hazel eyes were all I could focus on before she started biting her bottom lip that drew my gaze to its pink plumpness instead.
“You going to bowl, or do you need more directions?” Leah asked softly.
I snapped out of my lustful daze, focusing again on the lane and stepping away from that tempting offer. “I think I’ve got it,” I said almost breathlessly. Honestly, the effect she had on me…
I took my shot with all the focus I could gather, ultimately still only achieving to knock one of them down.
“Ay, you didn’t go down the middle,” Ashton praised like it was this big achievement.
“That wasn’t bad, Lys,” Leah said as we walked back together.
“You distracted me,” I pouted.
She smirked knowingly. “I’m pretty sure you liked it though.”
Her arm went to rest on the back of my seat again, and this time I leant back into it, welcoming the touch. I don’t know if it’s because of what I said with Zach just now, but I had the urge to just accept the affection and not care about anyone else watching.
The game was soon over, with Riley being the obvious victor and Leah coming in at second. Ashton had his confidence knocked down a few levels, but that’s what he got for challenging those two. Zach arrived with trays of food soon enough and we all dug in with glee.
As we were eating, he kept looking over at me and Leah with a knowing smile, almost fondly as he now knew of the relationship that existed between us. But now that I knew about him, I felt waves of sympathy for him because every so often, I would catch him looking at Ashton and Riley with jealousy and longing in his eyes. I could feel the pain he radiated, and I just felt sorry he had to go through that.
“Alright Leah, I’m challenging you to a foosball match. Just over there,” Ashton pointed to the foosball table in the corner. “Whoever wins can claim the title of winner once and for all.”
“You sure you want to do that?” Leah asked amusedly. “It’s gonna be really bad for your ego if you lose. Again.”
Riley nudged her boyfriend's shoulder. “You might want to stop while you still can. There’s no reason to embarrass yourself even more.”
“Hell no! I’m doing this for Aly,” he justified. “I need to see if Leah is worthy in being Aly's girl-”
He cut himself off, panic in his eyes as he looked around at everyone, finally focusing on Zach as his face turned ashen. The sandy-haired boy looked confused as to why everyone was staring at him eating, to the point he put down his burger and mumbled around his mouthful. “Whaa?”
Ashton started rambling. “Nothing, nothing. Forget what I said, it was stupid. Just wipe it from your mind. It isn’t-”
I realized then that he was trying to cover up his slip about me and Leah, and honestly, it didn’t feel right. It didn’t feel right that I was asking them to keep this a secret, because it’s not their burden to bear.
Everyone here in this group knew about me and Leah, and so there was no need to hide with them. Although we were in public right now, for this one moment, I didn’t care.
“Ash,” I called, stopping him from continuing. “It’s alright. He knows about me and Leah.”
My girlfriend turned to me with surprise, as did everyone else seated at the table. Zach was the only exception, just sitting there and smiling softly at me.
“He does?” Ashton breathed a sigh of relief. “Phew, I thought I almost gave it away.”
Leah had this fond, almost proud expression as she looked at me. “I guess I can do this then, ” she muttered. My girl proceeded to cup the back of my neck and peck my cheek lightly and sweetly, causing the biggest smile to stretch across my face.
A collective ‘aww' resounded from everyone, my cheeks growing warm as a result. “You guys, stop that,” I groaned, but I leant my head on Leah's shoulder anyway, comfortable in doing so as she leant hers on mine.
The affection that I always craved to share with her was being expressed now, in a moment where for once, I didn’t think about the opinions of others. I was surrounded by people who accepted me, and that’s all that mattered.
“Alright, fine. But anyways, foosball?” Ashton reminded, pointedly looking at Leah with a challenge in his eyes.
Gia shook her head at his insistence. “You’re going to regret that, bud.”
________________
“That was nice of you.”
“What is?” Leah questioned.
“How you let him win,” I commented as we went to return our bowling shoes.
She chuckled to herself. “If I won another time, he'd give up on this challenge thing. And honestly, I kind of like it.”
“It’s just like you to enjoy being challenged.”
“I enjoy winning,” she clarified. “He doesn’t know what’s coming to him.” Looking over at Ashton, he was jumping around and celebrating his ‘hard-earned’ win like a goof.
“Poor kid.”
Soon, we all left the place together with smiles and jokes going all around. When we were saying our goodbyes and were about to head on our own way back home, Zach came up behind Gia and stopped her from leaving.
“Can I talk to you for a second.”
The red-head sighed. “I have nothing to say to you, Zach.”
When she went to leave again, the boy quickly rounded her and stood in her path. “No, I really need to talk to you. I want to explain. I’m ready to explain, and you deserve to know,” he let out, sounding so vulnerable.
I don’t know if it was the way he looked at her or how desperate he sounded, but Gia relented. “Fine. Let’s go to your car. You guys can head off without me,” she said to Leah and I.
“What’s that all about?” Leah asked once they were gone.
I took her hand in mine as we walked over to my car. “It’s about what he and I talked about.”
“About us being together…?” she trailed off unsurely. I nodded as a response. “Why did you tell him all of a sudden? Not that I’m against it, of course. I love how you’re opening up about it to the people you trust, but just wondering, why now?”
I squeezed her hand and smiled softly. “I thought it might help him.”
“Help… him?” Leah mulled over, coming to the realization ten seconds later as shock took over her features. “I didn’t see that one coming, at all.”
“Yeah,” I chuckled, “me neither.”
I let go of her hand to round over to my side of the car, getting in and facing the dirty blonde as she strapped herself in. “Can we go to the pier? If you don’t mind going?” I asked.
“Sure… I’m not in a hurry,” she said, a little startled by the sudden change in plans.
Pleased that she agreed, I started up the car and made our way to my favourite place.
The events of what happened in the last hour or two circulated in my mind, unintentionally drifting myself into a place of deep thought. That feeling I had when I trusted Zach with the truth was something I had rarely felt in the past. It was freeing, liberating, like I was truly and authentically me at that moment. I wanted to feel that again.
My hand that was resting on the centre console was enveloped by another, filled with warmth and comfort. I looked over to my side to see Leah looking concerned. “You alright, babe? You weren’t answering me.”
“I’m fine. Just thinking.”
I could tell she was about to question further but stopped herself when she realized we’ve arrived. We got out of my car as the chill of the night and the winds from the sea welcomed us.
I saw Leah shiver from the cold, and so I quickly grabbed my extra coat I kept in the back seat and held it up for her to slip into. She awarded me with a dazzling, grateful smile and snuggled into the extra layer as I wrapped my arm around her for good measure. “Better?”
“Mhmm,” she muffled out.
We started our walk down the pier as the lack of people present allowed us to appreciate the sounds of nature on its own. The night sky had stolen the show that was previously performed with light, with just as much beauty and elegance, if not more.
“Thanks for agreeing to come,” I let out, pulling her tighter to my side.
“Of course,” she said, looking up at me. “I’m starting to like this place.”
“It is beautiful, isn’t it,” I smiled contently.
We walked towards the pier's edge in silence, passing the elderly couple we saw last time as they slowly strolled back in the direction we came. They smiled at us and waved as we passed.
“You know them?” Leah inquired.
“Yeah. I come here often, but they come here almost every other day, so one time I decided to say hello. They’re a very lovely couple, actually.”
“I could just tell,” she said as she looked behind us. “I aim to be that content in life.”
I nodded absentmindedly, looking off ahead into the dark horizon, my thoughts lost as nervousness started to creep up.
“What are you thinking about?”
“Hmm?” I snapped out of my thoughts. “Just about what I told Zach.”
“Are you worried he might tell someone?” she asked, coming to a stop.
“No, not that. Just thinking about truths and all that kind of stuff.” I said dismissively, trying to wave it off as I shook my head at the silly thought.
“Lys, I could tell something is bothering you,” she tentatively voiced out as one of her hands went up to stroke my cheek in soft motions. “You can tell me, whatever it is.”
I unconsciously leant into her touch. “I want to tell you something.”
“Okay,” she said simply. “Let’s sit down.”
We settled down on a nearby bench that faced the water, the cool wooden seat grounding me from my thoughts.
“I was thinking about the moment I told Zach the truth,” I started off. “It felt so… freeing to tell him that.” Leah took my hand in hers as a way to encourage me on. “The thing that’s bothering me is that… I haven’t been entirely truthful with you.”
The rubbing her thumb had been doing to the back of my hand stopped in its motion. “What do you mean? What are you talking about?”
I didn’t answer her question, just continued on. “When Ashton slipped up about me and you, I couldn’t help but feel bad. He has to keep this secret for me, but the thing is, he knows why I want it to be kept that way.” I looked at her, the guilt consuming me. “You deserve to know why. You deserve the truth.”
Leah stayed silent for a few seconds, looking at me as she now understood what this was about.
“Alright.”
Her one-worded prompt kick-started the nerves I was trying to push down. “Okay… I guess I should start with my ex.”
I let out a nervous breath, but I pushed through nonetheless. “I met Isabelle in the middle of sophomore year. We were at this party a mutual friend invited us to, and we got to know each other. I don’t know how she knew I was gay, but she made the first move, and I reciprocated.”
Leah looked like she didn’t want to continue hearing this, but she listened intently anyway. “We became a thing, but like with us, I told her I wanted to keep our relationship quiet. I wasn’t ready to come out, and she agreed to that because she wasn’t out either. We dated for the rest of the school year, but as time went, she grew more and more annoyed from us being kept a secret. She wanted to come out, but I told her I wasn’t ready yet. Then she started to become pressuring, impatient. I started wanting to come out for her, but now looking back at it, I knew it was for the wrong reasons.”
I took her hand that I was holding and placed it on my lap, playing with her fingers to distract myself from the memories. “One day, three of her friends came over after my training. They went to the same school as her, and I’ve seen them a couple of times when hanging out with Isabelle, but I didn’t know much about them. They confronted me and blamed me for ‘turning' her, calling me all these disgusting names, pushing me around. I knew then that she had told them, even after what I said.” I had to pause as I felt the fear from that day rise up within me, bringing me back to that dreadful moment. Leah rubbed my back soothingly, easing my erratic heart into a state as close to normal as it can get right now.
“They punched me in the face and a couple of times elsewhere, told me to never approach Isabelle again, then left. But I immediately went to Isabelle's place, fuming, to tell her what happened and to ask her why she betrayed me like that. But the thing is, she didn’t believe a thing I said about her friends. She denied it, saying her friends wouldn’t do that because they didn’t react badly to when she came out to them. Even the mark on my face couldn’t convince her. She thought I was lying, and she wasn’t an ounce guilty of coming out and outing me with her. She didn’t think of what that would do to me. And so I left there, so mad and so scared.”
“We didn’t talk for a week. She called once or twice at the beginning but gave up when I didn’t answer. I needed time to cope because I felt like my control was taken from me. I couldn’t face her, knowing she wouldn’t give a sh*t about outing me. She just wasn’t guilty about it. But the following week, Gia dragged me out to some friend's party to distract me from Isabelle, but that’s when I saw her with some other girl. They were outside the house, openly making out with their arms wrapped around each other. I can never get that image out of my head, but it hurts so f*cking much every time I think about it. I was frozen and couldn’t look away as they continued until Gia marched over to confront them. Isabelle had looked at me all shocked and everything, but I just couldn’t handle facing her after seeing that, so I just took off. Drove back home and cried. All those weeks, I was convincing myself to forgive her because I knew she just wanted to be open about herself, but then I go and find that. She kept calling and calling this time, but no explanation she would give me would ever fix us.”
I let myself breathe for a moment, trying to gather my thoughts. The whole time, Leah has been silent, her hand still on my back as she let me talk. “The reason I don’t want to come out is that I don’t want to lose my control like that ever again. I did before, and those people came to beat me up. I’ve only ever told the people I trust, and I just- I-I’m not ready to be that vulnerable and out of control again.”
I’ve let everything out, the entire truth and its pains with it, but she deserved to know if she was going to stay with me. All I hope is that this won’t change the way we interact, because I don’t want my past to affect us any more than it has.
I was scared to lift my head and look at her, focusing on our hands in my lap instead. Leah lifted my chin up with a finger, her hand going to cup my jaw after.
Her beautiful hazel eyes were what grounded me in the now. “I understand, Lys. You should never have had to go through that, but I’m here for you now. I’m here for whatever you need, baby.”
Tears were trying to break through as she said those words, but I eventually couldn’t hold them back. Leaning forward, I cupped her face and pulled her to me, kissing her with all I had as tears fell from my eyes. My feelings, my passion, my pain, it all poured out into this one kiss, but Leah reciprocated with as much force to match me.
We pulled away to catch our breaths and she wrapped herself in me, offering the comfort I truly needed. “I’m here for you, baby. I’m here.”