Comfy Closets - Chapter 26: Chapter 26

This feels nice, was the first thought that came into my head. All I felt was a softness and warmth against my cheek. I snuggled into it more and sighed softly, only to be hit by the thumping pains of a headache seconds later.
Ugh, I internally groaned. This wasn’t a great start.
Refusing to open my eyes just yet, I slumped my head further into the warmth. It felt so huggable and cosy and-
“Aly, go hug your girlfriend’s leg, not mine,” Gia’s scratchy voice groaned out.
“Wha-?” I opened my eyes to see a polka-dotted socked foot inches from my face. “The f*ck!”
Quickly scrambling away, my stomach turned slightly at the sight. I didn’t get far though, as I bumped into something else in the process and received a soft grumble from behind.
“All of you, shut up. I need sleep.”
A gruff masculine voice replied back. “I was having such a good dream, damn it.”
By now, no one seemed to be going back to sleep as everyone started to shuffle about. Lifting my head, I realised that I was currently squished in a bed with three other people, the other two being Leah and Zach. My head was situated at the foot of the bed, all of us in an alternating sleeping pattern.
I laid back down in exhaustion, sighing out. “I need Advil.”
“Get me some too.”
“Take the whole bottle.”
“Someone come with me, please? I don’t think I can stand.”
I heard a grunt from the other side before a big thump on the floor resounded, equivalent to the sound of a body falling onto hardwood. “I’m okay.”
I was dragged up into a sitting position, my eyes blearily blinking around. “We’re going now? Okay, okay.”
I stumbled out of bed, Zach supporting most of my weight first until I could right myself. “Geez, girl. What do you eat?”
“This is all muscle, brother.”
“Mhmm…”
Walking out of the guest room, Zach led us to the bathroom and leant me against the wall as he scrambled for the cure. I don’t even know why I bothered to come.
“Found it!” he announced as I heard the shaking of the bottle.
“Woohoo. Now give me some.”
We collected a glass full of water from the kitchen and made our way back, after I downed mines of course. For some reason, I felt better just from knowing I had that cure in my system.
I went to Leah and gently shook her shoulder. “Hey… come on, let’s get you up.”
“Is comfy here though…” she mumbled as her eyebrows scrunched together, eyes still shut.
“Bub, I got the painkillers.” Leah opened her eyes then, her hazel orbs taking in her surroundings before they focused on me and the glass of water I had.
She sat up with a little effort and gratefully took it from me. “Thanks, Lys.”
“No problem.” After she downed it with the pill, her hand instantly went to rub at her temples, a pained expression appearing. “Headache?”
When she nodded her head, I went to sit behind her on the bed, crossing my legs as my hands went up to slowly rub circles into the sides of her temple.
“Better?”
“So much, yeah.” She moaned slightly as I kept up with my motions.
Gia chose to speak then. “When you’re done with her, can you do that to me too? I need a head massage right about now.”
I sent a lopsided grin over my shoulder. “Ask Zach. I don’t think Leah is gonna let me stop.”
“Hell yeah, I won’t. Find your own girlfriend,” Leah quipped with humour.
“I’ve got the next best thing then. Zach, come here my servant.”
“Who are you calling servant?”
“Just massage my head, please?”
“Since I know you won’t stop whining until I do…”
The two continued to banter as I kept on massaging my girlfriend's head, earning sighs of content from the dirty blonde.
“By the way,” I addressed everyone, “what happened last night? I don’t remember much at all.”
Leah waved for me to stop as she turned around to face everyone. “After you danced on the pool table, I don’t remember anything after that.”
“Wait, what did I do?”
Gia and Zach snickered at our answers. “Oh, you guys did even worse after that,” Zach teased.
I quickly looked at them in the hope that they would just be joking, but their faces told no lies, just pure amusement. “No… what happened?” I asked reluctantly.
“Besides you guys trashing the basement, yelling like maniacs and kissing a whole bunch, not much else,” Gia mentioned nonchalantly.
Covering my face with my palms and effectively, my pink cheeks too, I groaned. “Drunk me is so annoying.”
Leah swung her arm over my shoulder. “No, I don’t think so.”
“I agree. With the number of times I said, ‘get a room’, I thought I was the annoying one…” the redhead muttered. That just made my ears turn red.
“Oh no…” My groan was muffled by my hands. I’ve never done this much PDA before or was ever bold enough to do it. This was new territory to me. As I let my hands fall and looked towards Leah, she seemed to be fine with the teasing. I guess she was more comfortable being that open with her affection. I thought I was getting better at not caring, but apparently not.
As if she read my mind, Leah leaned in then to kiss my cheek. “I didn’t know you could sing so good, by the way,” she whispered into my ear almost seductively.
I smiled, flattered. “Nah… I’m not that good. It’s kinda average, really.”
“Average?!” Zach sputtered. “Dude, even when you weren’t trying, it sounded good. Like, I sound like a f*cking seagull when singing Adele.”
Gia slipped out of his rubbing hands to turn to him, a glint in her eyes. “Wait! I wanna hear!”
“Why…?”
She smiled sheepishly. “I kinda… wanna… make a meme out of it?” Her phone was already out and ready to record.
“Heck no!”
“Why not? It’d be funny!”
“No!”
“Umm…,” I let out, speaking only to Leah while the other two argued, “how about let’s get out of here and go back to mines to change?”
“Yep. Lets.”
We inconspicuously got our shoes and sneaked out as Gia delivered her argument of why it was a good idea to become an internet meme. Those two were gonna go on for a while.
We got out of the house without coming across Riley or Ashton, which was a good thing because I didn’t want to be scolded for the mess we made last night. Or be around for the clean-up.
Once we hit the sidewalk, I set a slow pace, since we were in no rush and it was a surprisingly nice morning. The walk would only take about five minutes anyway.
I breathed in the morning air, letting the crispness refresh my insides and clear the headache that decided to linger. Leah’s hand and mine would brush against each other’s occasionally, each small contact sending a butterfly to flutter in my belly.
“I really liked your singing,” Leah suddenly confessed, smiling shyly as she focused her eyes forward. “Why don’t you sing more? Like, be in the performances we have at school?”
I pursed my lips. “I… dunno. I guess I don’t really want to perform.”
“You play the guitar though, right?” I looked to her with confusion. “I saw the guitar in your room. Looked like it hadn’t been used in years.”
“Oh, that old thing,” I recalled, running a hand through my hair. “Yeah, I got it when I was twelve and played it for a while, until…” My words died in my throat when I realised where I was going with that.
Leah paused, biting her lip unsurely, but decided to prompt me further. “Until…?”
I sucked in a breath as a memory flashed through my vision, reluctant to tell. “When… Isabelle and I broke up.”
As I said that, I was reminded of the events of last night, of why I chose to get drunk. The pain and reminders of the past flooded my mind, something I was so desperately trying to avoid yesterday.
“I just- I guess I lost interest after that,” I muttered solemnly, tucking my hands into my pockets.
Leah didn’t respond. I assumed she didn’t really know how to respond to that, and I didn’t blame her.
We were nearly at my place already, only a couple of houses left to pass, and so I started digging around for my house keys. Leah’s phone started to ring then, breaking us out of this weird state that had unintentionally blanketed us.
Leah answered her phone. “Hello?” Instantly, her eyebrows started to furrow as the person talked. “Wait, wait. Slow down. What happened?”
The worry in her tone started to affect me too as we stopped in our steps.
“Wait, are you sure? Where did you see this?” Now, her tone was coated with panic as the conversation continued. “Send it to me. I need to see.”
Leah hung up the phone and brought it back down to focus on the screen, lines of stress marking her face.
“Babe, what is it?”
“Sara just called and said she saw something online she wanted me to see.” Although the statement itself didn’t warrant such a reaction, the way she bit her lip and stared intently at the screen waiting, told me it was much more important than that.
A ding sounded from her phone and she quickly pressed the screen, loading up a page on someone’s social page. I moved closer to see, only realising seconds into the video playing that it was Ashton’s account.
The on-screen Ash was holding his phone in the way that recorded himself, the background very blurry and unfocused because of the unsteady movement of the camera. In the video, I saw it was the basement we were in, so I was guessing this was last night. A sinking feeling appeared in my chest.
I heard some cheering going on in the background, Riley’s voice being the most distinctive, who was most likely nearer to the phone. “F*ck yes! Woooo!” could be heard through the phone recording as Ashton’s face filled most of the screen. He had a massive grin on his flushed face, the drunk happiness flowing out of him and through the video.
“You guys need to get a room!” he jokingly shouted into the camera, the parts of the video that wasn’t covered by his face revealing the subject of his words.
At first glance, it wasn’t clear who the people were. You could see the empty bottles of alcohol on the coffee table in front, but there wasn’t enough lighting to see the faces clearly at that distance.
But I knew who they were instantly.
The dirty blonde girl with the denim jacket. The hoodie that I got as a present from Gia. The image in front of me told me the obvious truth, but my brain couldn’t cope with seeing this right now.
Online. Public. For everyone to see.
My heart felt like it stopped beating. This surreal out-of-body moment seemed almost laughable. Here, right now, I was looking at a video of a couple making out on the sofa, their passionate affection on display.
I didn’t realise it at first, but my clenched fists started shaking. My breathing quickened as I finally started to process the situation, and the overwhelm of emotions being the only thing stopping me right now from exploding.
The phone was brought away from my view as the video repeated its cycle. Hands clutched my shoulders as they shook me to attention. The hazel orbs I loved were now staring intently into my own, desperation in them as they tried to get through to me.
“Lyssa! Lyssa, it’s okay. You can’t tell in the video that it’s us. You can’t even tell what gender we are. Don’t overreact. It’s fine, babe,” my girlfriend rambled out in an attempt to reassure me. It didn’t help much. I couldn’t bring myself to believe that it was true.
When I was able to process the reality of the situation, one goal was all that appeared.
Slipping out of Leah’s grip, I turned and let my legs control me. They picked up its pace, until I was in a full sprint back to where we came from, the hangover no longer a nuisance.
My feet pounded hard against the pavement, almost like I was trying to channel this pressure I had, out of me. I heard another set of feet resounding from a couple of metres behind, keeping up with my pace.
It felt like only a few seconds later before we arrived back at our previous destination. I didn’t bother knocking, going straight to pushing the door open and marching upstairs.
I heard someone’s startled cry from the kitchen but paid it no mind as all I could focus on was on one person. I could feel myself about to blow, and I just needed to let it out. Now.
I got onto the landing and made my way to the farthest door on the left, my steps thumping loudly on the hardwood floor.
Without waiting, I pushed down the handle and banged open the door. I was welcomed by a dark room as light filtered in from the opened doorway. The two people on the bed were startled awake from the sudden loud noise.
“What the f*ck…” Ashton muttered as the blanket slipped and his bare abdomen came into view.
For a second, my mind registered that this may not be the best time to confront him, but when Riley sat up too with a shirt and shorts on, I made myself ignore the instinct to leave.
“What’s with the noise, Aly? I’m hungover right no-”
I cut him off, my voice low and calm as I asked him a simple question. “Do you know what you did, Ashton?”
He ran a hand through his short unruly hair and rubbed his eyes, still trying to wake up properly. “You didn’t have to barge in here, Aly. At least let me have five minutes before you start talking to me, please.”
I clenched my jaw, trying with all my might to not blow up just yet. I sensed from behind that Leah had caught up to me, her panting breath stopping just outside the doorway.
“Do you… know… what you posted last night?” I questioned slowly.
Ashton scrunched up his face in confusion, having no clue what I was talking about. “What do you mean? I didn’t post anything.”
“Look at your phone,” I commanded. When he didn’t react, I took another step into the room and hissed out. “Now.”
The dark-haired boy looked like he was about to protest but stopped himself when he saw the expression on my face. Reaching for his phone on the nightstand, he quickly unlocked it and tapped it a few times. The audio I heard minutes ago started playing through the quiet room.
As the video progressed, Ashton’s eyes grew larger and larger. The realisation dawned on him, of the implications his actions had caused, and why I had come here and banged open his door.
His wide eyes looked at me, his mouth left agape. “Aly, I didn’t know I-”
“How could you do that to me!” I screamed, finally letting the pressure out.
No one said anything in reply. Everyone just looked to me in shock, the outburst so sudden. I was never like this, but for some reason, I couldn’t control this feeling bubbling up within me.
My throat constricted with this unidentifiable emotion, the mixture of feelings ranging from outrage to disappointment to panic. It was all being processed inside of me, ready to find an outlet.
“You,” I whispered, pointing directly at him as I spoke, “outed me to the whole school. To everyone.”
“I didn’t mean to. I can delete it right n-”
“Doesn’t make a fucking difference!” I screeched out, my breathing becoming faster as the beating in my heart quickened with stress. “I don’t know what to do now! I mean like- like what do I say to everyone?! What do I say to my mom and dad?! I’m not ready for this. I can’t- I-I can’t do this right now-”
I didn’t know what was happening to me, but my breaths began to get shorter and I felt like I couldn’t get enough air into my lungs. My heart felt like it was beating against my ribcage, its intensity disorienting. I didn’t have any control. Not over myself, not over anything.
“Lyssa! Baby, breathe! Look at me!” Leah cupped my face in her hands, directing my gaze to focus on nothing but her. “Look at me. That’s right. Now just breathe, like me. In. Out. Again. In. Out. That’s right, just like that.”
I sucked in the breaths, trying to copy her the best I could. My hands shook as I clutched her shoulders, needing something solid to ground me. My struggling breaths slowly turned longer and deeper. I felt a hand on my back, rubbing it in soothing circles. In my periphery, I noticed Gia standing there, clear concern in her features.
“H-how did you know what to do?” I asked the girl in front of me once I was calm enough to speak.
She stroked my cheek softly as I came down from my panic attack. “I used to have them when I was younger. My brother would do the same thing.”
A small smile of gratitude appeared on my lips until it was wiped away when Ashton drew closer to us. I turned back to him with so much disappointment in me. I never thought he would ever do something like this, even if it was indeed a drunk mistake.
“I’ve deleted it,” he murmured quietly, not looking me in the eyes.
Looking at him, I shook my head and turned back around, not having anything more to say to him. I didn’t have the energy to deal with this.
Walking past the two girls, I stepped around Zach who was watching by the door and made my way out for the second time. I couldn’t stop the scenarios from running through my head; the staring, the gossips, the rejection – the bullying.
I can’t imagine how my parents would react when they find out. Dread filled my body as my steps grew heavier and heavier, reluctant for me to return home. I could feel the inner panic start up again, the nightmarish memories from my past now circling my mind like a haunting chant made to curse me. Tears started to fall from my eyes.
I can’t relive that. I can’t handle it. I have no control. I’ve lost the control.
As I made my way down the path of the front yard, with these thoughts echoing through my mind like the sounds in a chamber, Gia’s voice was what broke through the echo. “Alyssa!”
My steps stopped. I didn’t know what I wanted. My need to be alone right now was calling to me, but the comfort of my best friend was what I craved in moments like these.
Biting my lip to hold in the flood, I looked behind to see her stood there with Leah, both of them having followed me out.
“I want to be alone.”
Gia’s crystal blue eyes showed sympathy. “I know you don’t.”
“Tell me what to do,” I whimpered, wrapping my arms around myself. “I don’t know what to do anymore.”
“It’s all going to be okay,” Gia walked to me slowly with her hands up, as if trying to calm me down like I was a rabid animal. “Leah said you can’t see who you guys are in the video. The lighting was too dim in the basement.”
“Then how did Sara know,” I asked hysterically with tears, waving my hand at Leah as if to show proof.
Leah shook her head slowly. “She only messaged me because she knew I was here at Ash’s last night and suspected it was me because of what I was wearing. She thought I was making out with some guy and thought I should know there was a video up on Ash’s page.”
“But what if someone recognised me?! What if my teammates saw this?! They’d kick me off the team! I can’t let that happen, I just can’t!”
I knew I was sounding hysterical, but the panic I felt was fuelling my imagination, reminding me of all the possible scenarios that have haunted me for so long.
“They’d accept you, like Hayley and Oliv-”
“I CAN’T DO THIS!”
No one said anything for a second. Leah’s forehead creased as hurt clouded her eyes. The situation had escalated so much that I had blurted out the words with no thought.
“You don’t want to be with me?” Leah whispered.
“No, I didn’t mean it like that,” I tried to say, wanting to take back my words. “I-I don’t know why I said that. I’m just- I’m overwhelmed right now. I can’t think.” She didn’t look convinced, looking to the side and away from me. I wanted to go hug her and reassure her that I didn’t mean my words at all, but I knew it was just a matter of time before I snapped again.
“I… I need to go.” With one final remorseful look, I turned around and left them there.