Comfy Closets - Chapter 49: Chapter 49

“You can be such an ass.”
“What? Oh, come on.”
“I’m serious, dude. When are you going to let me forget it?”
I tried to stifle a laugh. “Not ever.”
“Exactly! An ass.” The sandy-blonde boy huffed, walking faster in his attempt to get away from me.
“You might’ve pushed him a bit too much this time,” Gia commented, her light blue orbs glinting with amusement.
“I can’t help it,” I chuckled, speeding up my pace. “He’s such a simp for Dante. Cute, yes. But the way he was whining and pouting while on the phone yesterday was the simp-iest thing I’ve ever seen. Is that a word?”
Leah playfully nudged me from the side. “No, you made it up. But you can’t deny that you’re a simp too, Lys. Did you already forget what you did two days ago?”
I tried to ignore the heat rising in my cheeks, looking the other way. “Don’t know what you’re talking about.” Letting go of Leah’s hand, I sped up my pace even further to draw away from the two girls laughing, finally catching up to Zach’s side in the hallway.
Since meeting his boyfriend, we’ve gotten to know Dante more and turns out, he’s great. He goes to another school thirty minutes away but met Zach at a basketball game when they played against our school. They lost, but he somehow charmed his way into getting Zach’s number and a date right after. The two actually looked great together, and they were honestly as cute as marshmallows when in each other’s presence. So sweet that it was sickening, and even Leah and I could agree on that.
He looked over to me and rolled his eyes, though I could tell he had calmed down. “What now?”
“Nothing, nothing.” A teasing smile curled a corner of my lips. “I just wanted to ask about Ash.” At that, his expression turned sombre.
To my knowledge, since last Friday, Ashton hasn’t been talking to Zach despite all the latter’s best efforts, and it was already Thursday. I personally thought Ashton was being an idiot and I’ve even tried talking to him about it, but he’d just brush it off every time or walk away. It was getting really frustrating to see the two of them like this – in a dance filled with steps of pursuit and escape.
The sandy-blonde sighed and ran a hand roughly through his hair. “Still nothing to say about it.” I could tell all this was hurting him a great deal. I mean, this was his best friend who refused to stop and talk to him. Ashton could be dramatic sometimes, and maybe even a little unreasonable, but the way this was affecting Zach was unfair. It was his truth to tell, and one where only he had the right to choose when.
When the rest of the school had found out, it was like every single one of them had hit over the head by brick so strong that it made them all go crazy. Crazy with gossip, questions, and some with the worst one – hate.
Although a lot of people were filled with surprise the first few days - the news had travelled fast through online means after the party - some others, namely Zach’s basketball squad, reacted poorly. It was really only these three guys who hated the notion, and the rest either stood by or uncomfortably followed their lead. Honestly, it pissed me off every time I thought about the way they were now treating my friend, especially because this hit so close to home when this happened with me and my own teammates. I was lucky that I had friends on the team that were brave enough to back me up. Zach, however – not so much.
Which was why I thought, again, that Ashton was being an idiot.
Zach has said he’s been doing fine, but I could tell by the look of hurt in his eyes – despite his best efforts to desperately hide it – that he was not.
“I can try to talk to him again. Make him listen?” I offered, but he shook his head sadly.
“It’s okay. Thanks, but I’ll deal with him.”
I let out a deep sigh, feeling empathetic for him and the pain he was going through. Leah and Gia caught up to us, their own mouths soon turning down as they sensed the mood in the air.
We walked on in silence in the midst of the bustling crowd, trying to get to class before the bell signalling the end of lunch rang. Once we turned a corner, however, I knew trouble was about to ensue.
Two boys on the basketball team, the ones that have been bullying Zach, were walking our way.  The one on the left was spinning a ball as they chattered on, but I noticed the nudge the guy on the right gave as he spotted us coming towards them.
Please, just don’t be asses and continue walking. Apparently, that was too much to hope for.
As we walked past them, the guy with the ball roughly bumped his shoulder against Zach’s and sneered. “Watch it, fag.”
Immediately, the corridor quieted down at the statement, everyone looking towards Zach and the other guy as he continued walking.
I felt my hands clench into fists as I turned to look at them, a raging fire building up in me as the word echoed in my brain. My heartbeat quickened as I readied myself to yell at the two, but Gia beat me to it.
“What did you say, little shit?” Her voice bounced off the walls over the muttering in the hallway, a snarl almost penetrating her words as anger radiated off of her. Zach caught the red head’s arm, whispering in her ear.
“It’s fine. Let it go.” But despite his words, she stood her ground, facing the two as they turned around.
The boy with the basketball walked back with a scowl. “What? I’m just calling him what he is. A fag.”
“You say that one more time, and I won’t hesitate to punch you in the face,” I spoke up, glowering at him with so much hate. I could feed him to the dogs right now and not feel an ounce of guilt.
Both of them smirked, thinking I was bluffing, but I really wasn’t. I didn’t give a shit if I got into trouble. Zach deserved to be treated better than this.
The guy with the ball came even closer, leaning towards us tauntingly. “A fa-”
Suddenly, he was pushed to the side, his body banging hard against the lockers before he dropped to the ground. The ball slid out of his grip, rolling down the hall and past the crowd. I stared at him, startled at the sight, and I could imagine everyone else in the vicinity had the same expression as I.
As his groans rose up into the air, my eyes darted from the instigator and to the one responsible for the fall.
Ashton.
He stood there with his shoulders rising up and down rapidly, a glare so harsh in his piercing sea-green eyes as he stared at the boy on the ground.
When the boy in question recovered from the disorientation caused by the fall, he looked around and spotted Ashton standing where he stood, a pissed off look on his face. Anger creased his forehead as he got back to his feet, puffing with rage as he advanced towards his team captain, but his friend was there in time to stop him from doing anything more stupid.
“What the hell, man!” the basketball boy barked, a vein throbbing out of his neck.
Ashton stood with his hands fisted, staring down the boy. “I’m done listening to your bullshit. I don’t want to ever hear you say shit like that again. Not to Zach, not to anyone, or you’re off the team. You got that?”
The boy looked like he was about to blow, but he seemed to have enough brain cells to know continuing this fight wouldn’t do him any favours. So, with one last animalistic huff, he pushed off his friend’s hand and marched down the corridor, everyone staring as he went.
After people realised the drama was over, they went back to doing their thing. I focused my gaze on my best friend, wondering what he’d do next. I saw him sigh to himself and mutter something under his breath before turning to us. His eyes seemed to gravitate towards Zach as he tried for a faint smile.
“Hey, guys.” None of us really responded, just gave him slight nods of acknowledgement. He continued. “Zach, can I talk to you for a bit?”
The sandy blonde looked a little reluctant to but nevertheless followed as Ashton led them to stand a few metres away to the side, out of earshot from us.
I looked to the two other girls beside me and we shared a smile, all of us glad that they were finally talking. The tension that lingered in our group had been uncomfortable for the last week, but now, I think that’ll change.
We stood to the side too, feeling it was wrong to leave now if Zach needed one of us. I heard some of their words through the noise of the people as they talked.
“…sorry that I ignored you. I didn’t know how to deal with the fact that you told everyone but me. And I know, I overreacted. I overthought it all, and I guess I was just hurt. But what I should have been doing was be by your side for support. And I’m sorry I didn’t do that from the start. Zach, can you forgive me, dude?”
We couldn’t hear Zach’s softer response, but by the look of relief on Ashton’s face, I’d say it was positive. The girls and I exchanged glances and silently agreed that we could leave them be, heading past them as they continued to talk.
“I guess we can have that quadruple date after all,” Gia commented once we were out of earshot. I shoved her lightly at her boldness but couldn’t help the chuckle from escaping.
“Gia! Maybe not the time.”
Leah also laughed from my other side. “You really want that quadruple date, huh?”
“Dude, I’ve been planning it for so long! And let me tell you, it’s going to be epic.”
“Alright, whatever you say,” I teased, shaking my head as I slipped my hand into Leah’s.
Being at school with Leah has been fine, the attention around us dying down as expected. And although I didn’t mind that display with Leah on that first day in front of everyone, it turns out that we don’t prefer a lot of PDA, sticking to hand-holding and chaste kisses here and there. It was nice, and enough for me to get through the day. That wasn’t to say I didn’t want more after school though…
As Gia went on and on about how amazing this group date would be without giving it away, she was soon interrupted by a brown-haired boy with a ponytail as he sidled up to her suddenly and wrapped his arm around her waist.
“Hey there,” he said cutely before kissing her cheek, causing Gia to turn a shade closer to her hair colour. “Are you talking about the date again?” he looked over her head and rolled his eyes playfully our way. “She won’t stop talking about that.”
My best friend smacked him in the chest, pouting slightly. “Because I have to plan it and hype them up at the same time! I can’t be the only one that’s excited.”
“Okay, okay.”
While they bickered amongst themselves, Leah squeezed my hand and drew my attention to her, a thoughtful smile curving the corners of her mouth.
“I want to take you on a date tomorrow.”
I let a humorous smile stretch my lips. “Hmm, really? Is it because Gia mentioned a date just now?”
“No, I’ve been thinking of asking you before that,” she said, playfully indignant. “So, can I take my girlfriend on a date?”
“Yeah, I’m free. Where is it?”
“Not telling.”
“Leah,” I whined, elongating her name, but it had no effect. She just continued walking forwards, as if not hearing me. “I hate surprises.”
“Actually, you love surprises,” she countered knowingly, and I sighed in defeat. She was starting to know me really me.
We approached my English class, Gia having already disappeared to hers, and before I could ask one last time, Leah pecked my lips and was skipping away. “Bye babe.”
I pouted as I stood in the doorway. “Tell me!” All that answered me was a laugh.
____________________
Lounging around at home on a Friday after school, I debated whether I should get a good head start on my homework and studying or just… lounge around. Eh, school stuff can wait.
I laid on the couch in the living room, comfortably situated sideways with my head on the armrest as I scrolled through my phone. Leah wouldn’t be here until a little later, so I decided to just wait for her here until she came.
“Ow!” I yelped as my phone slipped and landed hard on my chest. “Fucking hell, owiee… at least it wasn’t my face though.”
A giggle sounded out from the entryway and I glanced over to see Addison standing there with a hand over her mouth.
I smiled good-naturedly. “What are you laughing at, Addy bear?”
She giggled some more. “You.”
“It was an accident!” I justified humorously.
Her little grin stretched her lips as she sat on the other couch. “What have you been doing?”
“Oh, just waiting for Leah. She’s taking me out somewhere.”
The girl’s eyes brightened. “Leah? She’s coming? Yay!”
I laughed as I watched the girl do her weird happy dance. Ever since I explained my relationship with Leah to her, she’s been really excited to see my girlfriend.
*Last Saturday
I sat Addison down on the couch and carefully positioned myself on the coffee table in front of her.
“So, Addy, I know you’ve been wondering why I kissed Leah yesterday. But have you figured out why?”
My little sister fidgeted with her fingers as she thought. “Is it because Leah is a close friend? You kiss all your close friends…?”
“No, that’s not why.” I took in a deep breath to ready myself to explain. “You know, Addy, in this world, there are boys who like girls and girls who like boys, right? Well, there are also boys who like boys and girls who like girls. And it’s normal.”
She canted her head in confusion. “Do you mean like like?”
“Yes, I’m mean like like. I personally like like girls and don’t with boys. It’s just who I’m attracted to. And I like like Leah. She’s my girlfriend.”
I gave her a minute to process my words, allowing the little gears in her head to turn and wrap itself around the concept. Finally, she spoke. “I thought Mommy said that girls like boys, and one day I’ll be with a boy?”
I bit the insides of my cheeks and paused for a moment. “Well, yes, that may happen. But the thing is, it’s okay if you do like girls. Or both. That’s just what people like, we can’t choose that.”
Addison hummed softly to herself. “So, you like Leah then?” I nodded, biting my lip slightly. “Okay! Does that mean she’ll be over to play with me more often because she’s your girlfriend?” she asked excitedly.
For a second, I stared at her. Then I laughed. “Yes, yes she will. She can come over to play more often.”
But in my head, I was hoping that that was true. I didn’t know if she’d be allowed over any time soon…
*Present
“She’s only coming to pick me up though. She won’t be hanging out here, I’m afraid.”
Her little face fell. “Awww, no fair. I haven’t seen her in so long.”
I couldn’t help but be amused by her. “You saw her just last week, Addy. But I’ll see if she can come over and stay another time.” It might have to be when Mom isn’t here…
She pumped her fists. “Yes! I can’t wait! Tell Leah I said hi!” And with that, she hopped off the sofa and left the room, leaving me to my brewing thoughts.
I really didn’t know when that ‘other time’ would be, considering the situation. It made me sad to think about Addy’s disappointment when I’ll have to tell her Leah won’t actually be able to come in a while. I guess I was just holding off on that for now.
Shaking my head, I went back to my phone, careful this time about not dropping it on any part of me. I saw a text from Leah saying that’d she be here soon, and a smile automatically formed on my face. I really couldn’t wait to see where she’d be taking me for this date.
Someone subtly cleared their throat at the entrance to the living room and I turned, expecting to see my little sister again, but I felt my face fall at the sight.
My mother stood there with her blouse and dress pants, indicating it hadn’t been long since she got back from work. Her arms were crossed as she leaned against the archway, and I stared at her, shocked by her presence. This was the first time she was really acknowledging me since I came out to her.
The woman cleared her throat again as she looked down. “Alyssa, can I talk to you for a moment?”
All I could manage was a nod, but the woman accepted it and entered the room, going to sit in the couch opposite me.
I shifted from my horizontal position, sitting upright as I faced her. I could feel the nervous energy coursing through me as I watched her, waiting for the woman to say something.
But she didn’t. She stayed silent as we watched each other, the air growing with awkwardness as no one filled it. Finally, after a minute had passed, I decided I couldn’t sit in that silence anymore. And besides, I had one question to ask her, but just the thought of it made each beat in my heart pound painfully. But gathering my resolve, I took in a deep breath and let it spill out with the air.
“Why didn’t you come to my final soccer game?”
I watched my mom quietly as I waited for an answer. Her shoulders drooped as she sighed, hands clasped between her legs as she seemed to stare at it with glazed eyes – eyes that were so similar to mine.
When she spoke, I unconsciously held my breath. “Honey, I promised you I would be there no matter what. I promised you that I wouldn’t miss seeing you play on your last day as captain.” She looked up to me and gave me a soft, strained smile. “And I didn’t miss it.”
My head started to become fuzzy as I tried to process her words, licking my dry lips as I debated whether I misheard or not. “What do you mean? I didn’t see you there.”
My mother sighed deeply again, unclasping her hands, and clasping them again. “I sat at the back, further from the field. I doubt you would’ve spotted me. But I was there. I watched you score the final goal and celebrate with your friends. I watched you get your medal and trophy. I watched your father and sister hug you. I was there.”
I didn’t know how to feel about her words. Despite hearing the truth in them, I couldn’t ignore the hurt I felt pulsing through me at the time. The disappointment I felt at not seeing her face that day. A conflicting battle ensued in my head, the sides waging war to determine whether I would sit here feeling elated or disheartened. But no side won the battle. I was stuck in the middle, feeling both, remaining confused.
My mother looked to me with anticipation, but when I didn’t respond, she looked down again and focused on her hands. “I wanted to talk to you about what happened the last time we talked.”
Suddenly, the room was flooded with tenseness as we broached the subject that caused all this. The discomfort. The unease. I nodded the tiniest nod as a sign to continue, my eyes focused on her, waiting, and bracing myself for whatever came next.
“I’ve taken some time to think, to go through things. I’ve talked to your father and discussed things with him too, and Alyssa… I’m trying to understand.” She looked at me with these eyes that pleaded for me to understand her. “I’m trying to understand. I want to understand my daughter, the daughter I thought I already knew, but this… I’m not going to get this right away. I still don’t, but know that I’m trying.”
I felt a tear escape my eye as I stared at her blurring face, my throat tightening as I desperately held in any unwanted sound. “Y-you are?”
She nodded surely. “Yes I am, honey. Even if I’ve had these expectations of your future since you were born, I’m trying to change them. It’s not easy, and it’ll take a long time, but I’m willing to try.” I could see her eyebrows scrunching together, trying to hold back her own tears. At the sight, I let the vulnerable words I’ve kept so close to my chest for so long, slip out.
“I don’t want you to push me away, Mom.”
“Oh, honey.” At that, she got up from her couch and joined me on mine, pulling me into her side and keeping me there as I let my tears leak out, the droplets slowly running down my face. “I’m not doing that anymore. I won’t. Even if I can’t understand it now, I will try my hardest to. Just give me time, baby. Just give me time.”
I nodded against her and pulled away, quickly whipping away the tear stains and sniffling slightly. I saw the soft smile she was giving me, and despite the past hurt, loneliness and disappointment that plagued my heart, I couldn’t help but feel only happy with relief now.
A buzz sounded out from my phone on the coffee table and lighted up with a notification. I knew it probably meant Leah was outside waiting for me, but I wasn’t sure if I should leave just yet, especially after the conversation I just had with Mom.
But she seemed to also know what was going on as she turned to me with a strained smile, but it was still a smile, nonetheless. “Just… tell Leah to get you home before midnight.”
With that, Mom stood up and left, leaving me confused. How does she know it’s Leah? And better yet, how does she know the girl I’m dating is her?
Then her words came back to me. She was at the game. She saw me throughout the whole thing. Playing, winning, hugging friends and family… kissing Leah.
At the thought, hope bloomed in my chest as I looked forward to the day she could see me with my girlfriend without a hint of malice and disapproval. Without rejection for me and who I like. I can’t wait for that day.
Getting up from the couch, I grabbed my phone and walked out the door and as expected, saw Leah’s car stopped at the edge of the sidewalk.
I got in and closed the door, buckling in first before dazedly staring outside, still lost in my thoughts.
“Lyssa?”
“Hm?” I broke out of my daze and looked to my girlfriend who seemed concerned.
“Are you alright? Do you not want to go out? We don’t have to-”
“No! No, it’s not that,” I reassured. “You can start the car. I was just thinking, is all.”
Leah seemed unsure at first but eventually pulled away from the sidewalk. “What are you thinking about?”
“The conversation I just had with my mom.” She shot me a look of surprise before pulling her gaze back to the road. “It wasn’t bad, just… a lot to think about.”
I proceeded to tell her about our conversation, and she nodded along, showing me that she was listening intently as she drove. When I finished, she gave me this smile – a smile so warm that it travelled through me and warmed my body as well.
“I’m happy for you and that it’s going to get better. Maybe not immediately, but a bit every day. And I’ll be here through it with you. We’ll get to the better part, together.”
I clasped her hand resting on the centre console, smiling softly. “You’re amazing, Leah Bennett. I can’t wait to introduce you to my mom as my girlfriend.”
She grinned despite the redness tinting her ears. “I think I’d like that.” Her eyes then lit up as she looked around the area. “We’re here, by the way.”
My gaze darted around as I scanned the place and was welcomed with an all-too-familiar view. “The pier?”
“Yeah, our date’s here.”
I looked to my girlfriend with fondness, unable to describe the unbelievable feeling in my chest at the sight of her. I’ve never felt like this before, but at the same time, it was amazing. “You are the best girlfriend ever.”
She bit her lip and smirked as she parked the car. “I know, babe.”
We got out and I rounded to her side as she opened the back door. She pulled out a cosy looking jacket and held it open for me. “You came prepared, huh?”
Leah chuckled. “Of course. I knew it’d be cold and you’d whine if you weren’t warm enough.”
I rolled my eyes as I slipped my arms into the sleeves, loving the smooth feeling of the jacket. “Ooo, I like this.”
What I loved, even more, was when Leah wrapped her arms around me from behind, bringing not only more warmth but a feeling of comfort and safety as I leaned into her front. “How about this?”
“So much better.”
I heard her laugh. “You’re so cute.” Soon, she released me, causing me to pout as I watched her pull out something else from the car.
“Yes, food!”
“You are so easily excitable,” she remarked amusedly as she locked the car.
“But you like that about me.”
“I do.”
Holding her hand, we walked onto the pier together. The jacket was definitely a good idea, as I felt the sea’s wind blow against our faces. The sun was setting, its orange glow blanketing the area and keeping us warm enough so we wouldn’t shiver. Still, I moved closer to Leah’s side just to get that extra bit more warmth.
As we leisurely walked towards the end of the pier, I spotted the elderly couple that I usually see around here at this time and I waved their way, receiving friendly ones in return. It was almost like a tradition for me to see and greet them whenever I came.
“Do you remember the first time I brought you here,” I asked Leah casually. She nodded, a fond smile on her face.
“Yeah, how could I forget? It was when I asked you to be my girlfriend.”
I couldn’t help but smile too. “That was a good day. Makes this place even more special. I still sometimes wonder if it was this place’s ‘magic’ that got you to ask.”
Leah raised her eyebrows, amused as we arrived at a bench near the end of the pier and she sat down, putting the bag of food between us. “It might be just that, I think,” she teased.
I feigned shock and shoved her lightly. “Hey! You could’ve said no.”
She grinned mischievously as she started pulling out the containers of food. “But what if it was the ‘magic’ that got me to ask? What then?” I just pouted and crossed my arms in response, not looking at her. The dirty blonde laughed at my reaction. “I’m kidding. I liked you way before that.”
That caught my attention. I turned back around to face her “Really? Since when?”
She just let out a ‘hmm’ and shrugged her shoulders, not answering my question as she went about opening the containers. Finally, I looked down and felt my eyes widen as I saw the mouth-watering food.
There were the obvious fruits, mini sandwiches and even cheese and crackers, but the sight of the pizza and chips made my mouth water.
With the question forgotten, we started eating together and chatting, the view of the vibrant sunset right in front of us. It was magnificent to witness, and every time I looked back, the sun seemed to be sliding faster and faster into the sea, causing the colours in the sky to dance and shift from orange to pink, to purple and blue.
As time passed, most of the food disappeared and was packed away once we both admitted we were full. Now, we sat by each other as Leah had her legs thrown over my lap and I had an arm wrapped around her lower back as I kept her close. It was nice, sitting like this with her, and I just felt… content.
With her head nestled into my neck, she whispered. “Right now, right here, with you – this… this is perfect.”
I hummed softly, nuzzling closer to her as I watched the view. “It’s the you in this equation that makes this perfect.” Her chuckle vibrated through me with the close proximity.
“You really are a cheese ball.”
I laughed too. “I can’t help it.”
Tilting my head slightly, I gazed at her and smiled. It was a simple gesture, but it was filled with so much meaning. I chose to entertain that thought further.
Why did I smile? Because I’m content, happy, and free. Because I belong, I’m wanted, and I’m accepted. Because I took a risk to be with somebody - to be open and truly me, and I’m understood. And, because I chose to be uncomfortable despite all the things telling me no, and guess what? I’m the happiest I’ve ever felt myself be.
So, I look at her. And I smile.