Convoke - Chapter 22: Chapter 22

Tom grabbed Ezra's jacket and shoved him into the wall behind the door. He didn't let go, so Ezra couldn't disappear like he usually would, not wanting to risk taking Tom with him.
"Could you have been any louder!" Gerry hissed, black hair sticking up wildly on one side.
"Sorry, I was trying to be quiet," Tom muttered, not looking in Ezra's direction. "Why were you sleeping in the living room?"
"I pay rent here, so I can sleep wherever I want! And I should be able to do that without you waking me up at a daft time in the morning."
Tom rolled his eyes. Usually, he would have snapped back and woke everyone up with their arguing, but tonight he had a demon hiding in the shadows, listening. "Go to bed." He tried to shut the door, but Gerry slammed a palm against it. "Are you trying to wake everyone else up?"
"I'm sick of you being so inconsiderate! I am a man with a wife and a child. You have no commitments, and you're selfish of everyone else's!"
Tom's eyes lost, and he glanced to the demon behind his door. Ezra was staring at Gerry through the crack between the hinges and the wall. He was frowning deeply. If he was getting angry, Tom couldn't afford to get angry too. "Get your hand off my door, and fuck off to bed," he hissed through gritted teeth.
"We'll continue this in the morning," Gerry muttered before stomping, rather loudly, towards his own bedroom.
Tom shut the door and rubbed his temples. "Sorry about him," he said, freezing when dark bottomless pits leeched onto his face. Ezra wasn't just angry, he was enraged. His face had twisted into pure hatred, and Tom shivered. He stepped backwards, nervously rubbing his hands together, suddenly very aware of Ezra's tall frame, wide chest, round shoulders, and big arms. "Do you need to leave and calm down?" Ezra nodded slowly, not blinking, not breaking their gaze. But he didn't leave, he stood in the shadows, clenching his jaw, curling his fingers, glaring at Tom like a fire quickly flickering out of control. "Ezra, leave and come back when you've calmed down," Tom whispered. The fear wavered in his voice, and Ezra quickly relaxed his frown to widen his eyes. He abruptly disappeared and Tom felt the tension leaving with him and stopped holding his breath.
He quietly got ready for bed, brushing his teeth, washing his face, and combing through his messy brown hair. Looking at himself in the mirror, he wondered if Ezra inspected him just as intently. Tom liked the way he looked. He like the colour of his blue eyes, light enough to stand out. He liked his soft, pale skin, and how the cold flushed his cheeks, and the way his face matured over time, but kept its youthful roundness. He was insecure about certain things, like his ears sticking out too much, or his brows being too bushy, or the random spot on his forehead, or the shape of his teeth.
He hoped that Ezra liked his imperfections, the way that Tom liked his. He shook his head at how he was worrying whether a demon liked him, when that demon just left to avoid snapping him in half. How have I found trust in him? How wasn't the right word. Why have I found trust in him?
He returned to his bedroom, not expecting Ezra to have returned so soon. "Oh, hi," he whispered, shutting the door as quietly as he could.
Ezra stood by the window with the curtains drawn shut. His head was drooped, and his hands dug deep into his jacket pocket. "Hello," he replied, almost inaudibly. "I'm sorry."
Ah, it's because he's cute, Tom thought. "You don't have to apologise," he reassured.
"I didn't trust myself not to punch him, or worse."
Tom scoffed. "Gerry has that effect on people." Ezra didn't find it funny. "He's a prick. If you expect it from him, it makes it easier to deal with. Did you really think you would punch him?"
Ezra nodded. "You can't keep forgetting that I'm a demon. It's easy for us to snap. If I had attacked him, and you had tried to stop me, I might have hit you too."
Tom stared into his large dark eyes, troubled to see the self-loathing so visible. Whether he was trying to prove a point that maybe the demon acted differently around him, or whether he was trying to cement his feelings when Ezra gave him reasons to give up, he stepped into him and hugged him.
Tom wrapped arms around his back and pushed the side of his face into his shoulder. Ezra tensed against him, and Tom wondered whether he had made a mistake. Was he still angry? He didn't dare to peel his head away to check.
After a few awkward seconds, Ezra gently asked, "Why?"
Tom could feel his heart thumping against his own. "Because I want to," he whispered.
Slowly, like Tom was made of thin glass, Ezra leaned into him, and his arms gradually wrapped around his shoulders, securing Tom's body to his. They hugged for a while, settling into the silence of the night, and each other.
Something was changing between them. Tom felt it as the seconds grew in numbers. Ezra had left because he was once again protective of him. What had he thought about when he was trying to calm down? Was he finding his feelings too? And was he trying to talk himself out of falling further into those feelings? Tom hated that he had no idea what he was thinking and hugged him a little tighter.
He could simply ask, but he liked the thrill of hope.
Surprisingly, Tom was the first to let go, and to pull back. Ezra's arms didn't fall away. His hands lingered on Tom's shoulders, as his gaze explored his face. Tom kept his hands on his waist, staring back.
"I'm a demon before I'm anything else," Ezra spoke softly.
Before what? Someone to love? "I disagree."
"That could get you hurt."
"I trust you."
"You shouldn't."
"Maybe not, but I still do." Tom shamelessly looked at Ezra's full lips. When his eyes returned to his, they were looking at Tom's lips too. The blush had crept up his neck and over his cheeks and nose, yet he didn't move forwards, nor did he move back. His dark eyes were glazed with a deep yearning.
In that moment, Tom would have given anything to hear his thoughts. And soon, the moment was over, and Ezra hesitantly stepped away, pursing his lips and looking at his feet. "It's late," he said. "You really need to sleep."
"You do too." Tom pointed to the bed, eager to be close again. "There's room here, if you want." Ezra eyed the neat duvet, tucked under two pillows side by side. "I just want you to be comfortable. You've probably not slept well in days." His delay meant that he most likely hadn't. "If you're going to say no because you think it'll make me uneasy, then don't. Me and my friend Cal share a bed all the time, and he kicks in his sleep."
Ezra cleared his throat, staring at Tom's smile. "I'll think about it." He sat on the blanket on the floor instead, stubbornly crossed arms over his firm chest.
Tom didn't want to pressure him, especially not after pushing his luck by hugging him. The last thing he wanted was to make him uneasy and wishing to be elsewhere.
He switched off the light and slid under his duvet, making sure to untuck all the sides in case Ezra snuck in beside him. Tom could still feel Ezra's strong body against his, and his warmth seeping through his clothes, and his smell burying into his nose. An odd conflicting comfort had fought within him. His demon aura still made his gut question his safety, despite him wanting to be as close as humanly possible.
Tom tried to think what kissing him would feel like. Ezra was big, yet timid. Blunt, yet shy. Strong, yet incredibly gentle. He had seen him in his most nervous state and seen him fighting as if dragging another demon by their hair was his second nature. Tom liked all of him, the withdrawn and the mighty personalities battling to be present.
He closed his eyes and tried to think of anything other than him. Almost an hour passed until he stopped noticing his heart uncontrollably trouncing around his chest. His mind rounded and drooped with odd dream-like thoughts, until a noise by the bookshelf sharpened it awake.
He heard what sounded like feet slipping out of shoes, and the bottom of the bed dipped. Ezra froze, so Tom closed his eyes. He was facing the wall, if Ezra laid next to him, he would be staring right at him. He wanted to turn around, though he didn't want to scare him off, so he froze too.
Ezra waited almost thirty seconds before moving again. The bed dipped further and further, until he laid down on top of the duvet, leaving a foot of space between them.
Tom had never focused on being so still. He opened his eyes when Ezra rolled over. He was facing the wall. Tom could only just make out the shape of his back in the dark room. Silence had never been so obvious, and the presence of another had never felt so intense.
When he first shared a bed with Kimberley, it had never felt this daring. She had been all over him, cuddling up to him, and kissing him, and tangling together between the sheets. Laying calmly next to Ezra was somehow more exciting.
Another hour jumped by until he had calmed enough to sleep. When he next woke up laying on his stomach, with an arm dangling over the side of the bed, he almost jolted up with anticipation. But he played it cool and stretched under the warm duvet and slowly rolled over onto his back.
The other side of the bed was empty, except for a ripped piece of paper on the pillow. Tom squinted at it with tired eyes and read aloud, "You also kick in your sleep."
He leapt out of bed and quickly showered. He got ready as fast as he could and made two cups of hot tea. Dawn was still barely touching the horizon, yet Ezra was already sitting patiently in the bushes.
Tom approached him with a smile that hadn't left his lips since waking up. "I don't kick in my sleep," he said, giving Ezra the cup, and sitting down next to him. The air was so bitter, he coughed as it touched the back of his throat.
"You do."
Tom stared until Ezra looked away, sipping his drink as a distraction. "Does that mean you didn't have a good night's sleep?"
"No, I slept well."
Tom hid his satisfaction. "You don't have to leave so early. I don't mind you being there when I wake up."
"I'm with you all the time. It's important that you still have your privacy." Ezra continued to look away, staring towards the trees with fake interest. "And an angel called for me early. I had a job to do."
"Oh, did they summon you?"
"No, they can't. I was awake when I felt his presence outside. I knew he was there for me, though he seemed interested as to why I was inside the building."
Tom felt his cheeks heat at the thought of Ezra lying there, watching him sleep. "Did he ask?"
"Angels don't care enough about demons to ask personal questions." Ezra finally looked at him. "Humans don't usually care either."
"Well, it's not every day that a human gets to meet a demon like you." Tom knew he was turning red, and hoped Ezra thought it was because of the harsh morning against his pale skin.
"A demon like me?" Ezra repeated with eyes flicking all around his face.
"Yes," Tom replied, leaning forwards, making sure to bump their knees. "A demon like you."