Crack In The Ice - Chapter 40: Chapter 40

Sunday, 11:19 AM
Sunday, 3:34 PM
Sunday 5:22 PM
Sunday, 6:12 PM
I've been staring at this text threat for the past two days.
It's funny how a few months ago I would have killed to read this from Eli. But now, after everything, all I can think about is whether this is a good idea.
I always go weak around him. I can't help myself. Last time we talked, I made myself say all the things I hadn't had the courage to say until then and still I threw myself at him. Lately, Mack's words have been fresh on my mind and I've gradually started to feel somewhat ashamed of how much I've been losing myself over this one guy.
I appreciate everything he's doing to meet me where I'm at, but Eli said it himself. We're always falling into the same patterns. If I go to see him play, what will make it different this time?
In fact, meeting Eli at a hockey game, surrounded by all the reminders of why it's so hard to be together, sounds like the worst possible idea in the history of sucky ideas.
Someone slides into my booth across from me, drawing me out of my internal spiral of self-doubting thoughts.
Olie grins at me. "Whatchya doin'?"
I glance down at my half-eaten grilled cheese. "Eating."
"Whatchya doin' later today?"
"Don't really have a plan." That's half a lie. I'll probably just end up watching Eli's game from my room while eating consolation ice cream. After I promise myself I absolutely won't spend my day hung up on him, of course.
Olie seems to like my answer. "If you're not doing anything, you can hang out with me."
"You're not working today?"
"Day off."
"What're you thinking?" I force myself to be interested. I could use a distraction today. The ice cream plan is too pathetic.
"Little road trip," Olie says excitedly.
I narrow my eyes at her. "Where?"
She smiles sweetly. "Seattle."
"No."
"Come on." She pouts. "I know you don't like hockey, but it'll be fun."
"No."
"Please. Don't make me be stuck in a car with Owen for five hours. Help a girl out. Together we can overpower him." She smiles enticingly. "I have all the Taylor's versions in one playlist and a stash of candy."
"I wasn't planning on going over 100 yards from my bed today. Let alone drive across state lines," I say.
Olie gives me a suddenly serious, scrutinizing look. "I'm sure it would mean a lot to Eli to see you today."
I frown, taking in the expression in her eyes and the strangely gentle tone she used.
"He told you."
"No," she says.
"He did," I say.
"Eli didn't tell me anything, sweetie. Promise."
I don't know if I believe her.
Damn Holmes siblings. Always knowing shit they have no business knowing.
"I can't go," I tell her. I'm trying for a firmer tone, but a slight tremble betrays me.
"Sure you can."
"I don't have a ticket," I try less convincingly.
She gives me a 'who you talking to' look. I shift in my seat, preparing to protest. Before I can, though, all the fight melts out of me.
Shit.
Guess I'm going to Seattle.
Who needs to be smart anyway?
A few moments later, I'm driving myself and Olie to her house. Nat's car is parked out front. Owen and Nat stand next to it, talking.
I glare at Olie. "You told me you wanted me to come because you didn't want to be alone for five hours with Owen."
She looks at me. "Mhm."
"Nat's coming too," I deadpan.
"Well, she is dating one of the players," Olie muses innocently. "Where do you think we got so many tickets?"
I roll my eyes. But I don't even have it in me to act annoyed.
I can tell when I'm being played and choose not to care.
It makes me an idiot, but not stupid. Which I swear makes sense in my head.
"Hey." Nat smiles as we step out of my car.
"Hey," I answer tightly.
"All ready to go?" Owen asks.
"I'm taking my car," I say immediately.
"That's not very environmentally responsible. We should all go in one car," Olie says.
I narrow my eyes at her. I want her to know she's displaying zero sneakiness. I can see right through her.
"Fine," I say. "Then we can all go in my car."
Owen looks at Nat. She shrugs. "If you drop me off here after, that's fine with me."
And so Olie and I get back in the front, while Owen and Nat go in the backseats.
Olie connects her phone to the car to play all of Taylor's versions, as promised. She and Nat switch between singing along, eating candy, and chatting. I don't join in. My mind's too scattered with thoughts of that past few encounters between me and Eli. Plus, my pride is nudging me into giving Olie and her obvious intentions half a silence treatment.
Which isn't the most mature approach, but it's what I've got.
Owen sits in silence until about the halfway mark, when he insists we make a stop. Because it's good practice during long drives. Or whatever.
I stop at a gas station on the road and Olie goes to get water, because she and Nat have been stuffing themselves full of candy. Owen suggests the best practice would be to switch drivers. But when I offer to let him drive he says he never drove an automatic. So I switch with Nat for the second half of the journey instead.
We are now closer to Seattle than home. Which means it's too late to chicken out. So I sit in the back next to Owen, in silence, while Olie navigates for Nat over the sound of Taylor's illicit affairs.
Well. Okay. Ouch.
I try to ignore the lyrics, shifting my focus to Owen, who's taken out his laptop to read over work documents.
"Don't you get car sick?" I ask.
He doesn't avert his eyes. "No."
I huff. Not going to get much of a distraction from him then.
Nat has a steady, not too speedy driving style, so I end up dosing off after a while. I wake up again when we're finally driving into the city. Olie has turned off the music to give Nat more specific directions and Owen has put away the work stuff.
"Never been to Seattle," Olie says, looking out the window.
"Really?" Nat asks.
"Lot of places I never seen, honestly," Olie muses. "Maybe I should become a puck bunny and see the world hanging off some jock's arm."
Owen frowns. "Don't you even think about it."
Olie smiles like she got exactly the reaction she wanted out of him.
Parking proves difficult between a mess of cars and a crowd of fans dressed in red, yellow and white in a sea of blue merch. We go into the arena and find our seats. I know they're good seats, because Nat tells me so as we sit down.
Now that I'm here I can feel a sort of nervous energy bubbling up. In a few minutes, Eli will be coming out with the other players for their warm up and I'll see him. We'll be in the same space, surrounded by people. I'll be able to watch him from my seat, but not talk to him.
The twist in my stomach doubles as I see Eli's brother approach us, accompanied by his girlfriend. Well, fiance now if the rumors are true. Which, basing off of the ring on her finger, I supposed they are.
Both Elliott and Scarlet are wearing Calgary Flames merch. Olie has a Flames hoodie tied around her waist and Nat put on a black hat with the flaming C before we left the car.
I see Owen texting and hear myself ask, "You talking to Eli?"
His eyes lift to look at me. "Yeah."
"Is he ready?"
"As ready as he'll ever be."
Right.
When the players come out onto the ice, I find him. He hasn't put his helmet on just yet so I spot him immediately. And I can see him searching the crowd too. My stomach clenches.
Olie raises her arms to wave and his eyes zero in on us. On me, I think.
After that, he goes on with his warm-up and doesn't look over again. But I think he can feel me watching him. Just like I felt him when he came into my practice last time we saw each other. Or maybe I'm just hoping he does.
Watching him move in his element, I'm completely unsurprised by how much my attraction hasn't decreased. He moves with a security and a skill that makes it hard to look away. When the game finally starts, Olie's comments act as a much needed sobering distraction. Occasionally, Owen will chime in to correct whatever note Olie gave me on what's happening. I don't need them to tell me when Eli makes the first impressive save of the game.
In truth, it's Eli and Dean. But I only have eyes for him. My heart swells with pride and something else I'm not naming when the arena vibrates with the crowd's cheers for him. Because he's amazing and everyone sees that. Everyone loves him.
The Flames win in the end. It was a close game, according to Owen and Elliott, but they win.
I follow the others once the game is done, half numb and half tingling with anticipation. We wait in what looks like a passage to a press room, judging by the reporters hanging around.
I feel like I might explode out of my skin.
When the players come, they're dressed smartly. Camera-ready. I see Dean first, and Owen and Nat are on him. Then I watch Elliott pat Eli, who turns up behind Dean, on the back.
My heart stutters.
After Elliott, Olie has her arms around Eli's neck and he wraps a single arm around her waist, smiling.
I watch Owen catch his eye and think I see him nod in my direction. Immediately, Eli directs his line of sight to me.
He freezes.
Slowly, Olie lets him go, but he stays put. I feel my feet moving me toward him. There are so many people around us.
"Hey," he says.
"Hey." My voice sounds rough. I clear my throat. "Your friends brought me. It was borderline abduction."
"Yeah. I know."
"You do?"
Eli bites his lip like he can't say what he wants to say. That's a common theme with him.
"Good game," I say, trying to shove those thoughts away. "You were great."
It feels stiff and wrong, and very civil. Because we're surrounded by people. Eli's teammates. Sports reporters. Strangers.
Eli still smiles. "Yeah?"
I shrug. "I don't really know much about hockey, but Olie and Owen gave me some pointers. And you're always great."
Eli's smile stretches and I can't help smiling too.
"Mind hanging around for a while?" He asks. "I need to talk to you. Promise we won't take long here."
I want to. Fuck, do I want to.
"I should actually go."
He looks visibly deflated. "Why?"
"I have stuff to do," I say. But we both know the real answer.
I also know I can't go anywhere without the others because we all shared a fucking car. Damn Olie.
But maybe I can leave and wait for them in the car.
Eli doesn't say anything. I stand under the weight of his stare for a few seconds, before giving him a curt nod. I start to turn around toward where I think the exit is.
"Wait."
I look back at him.
He looks a little urgent. "Stay. Please."
I gulp. "Why?"
Eli bites his lip, a deep crease between his brows.
There are people all around us.
Right.
I'm leaving.
"Because I love you," he says before I can turn around.
Surely I heard wrong. Surely I imagine the hand wrapping around my wrist and tugging me into him. But I can't be imagining his lips on mine.
No.
I know these lips well enough to know he's kissing me. And I'm powerless to do anything but kiss back.