Crack In The Ice - Chapter 5: Chapter 5

At first, I'm not quite ready to get up and move on.
But after a few minutes lying in my messed up bed, naked between tangled up sheets, with a tray of dirty dishes next to me and Eli's warmth long gone from my own skin, I feel sorry for my own pathetic self and get in the shower.
I'm in no hurry as I get dressed after. I missed my window for a morning run. By now, the streets of Lake City are busy with tourists and the resort staff. And my training session today isn't until three-PM.
I could go down, shadow whoever's working the morning shift at The Lodge. If it's Hannah, I could squeeze some gossip out of her, lead her astray from her obligations to chat.
I could also call Chloe and pester her until lunch time, and then we could head to practice together.
I could swing by my parents' house, see what Leah or my mom are up to and tag along against their will.
Either option would be a sorry excuse to half-busy myself and try to forget Eli's taste on my lips, his touch on my skin, the feel of him underneath my fingertips, the sound of his morning voice in my head.
I call these Eli hangovers. The way he lingers on my mind even after leaving.
I think my Eli hangovers been getting longer and longer lately. It also feels a hundred times worse knowing he's not just hopping on a plane away from me right after. No, this time he's here. In the same town.
Maybe I could go to the rink. Though on a Sunday morning it should be packed, getting on the ice is the only thing that truly takes my mind off anything else.
My phone vibrates on the nightstand, where I have it plugged to the charger.
I'm surprised to see Mack's contact ID.
It takes all of two seconds for the metaphorical bulb to light up over my head. I rush to the door and open it.
Sure enough, there she stands, arms stretching to the sides in a silent 'tcha-nah'.
"Uhm. Hi." I step aside to let her in.
Combing her fingers through her dark roots to pull her hair off her face, she drops a bright yellow duffel bag on my floor. "I went straight to your house after my mom picked me up at the airport. Your sister sent me here instead." She sounds almost reproachful as she plops down on the cushioned armchair in my room.
I raise my eyebrows. "I barely ever stay at my parents' these days."
"Yeah." She cocks her head. "Well, I forgot."
"It's all that California sun. Fries your brain."
She smiles, shifting on the arm chair to fold her legs beneath her. "So... What's up?"
"What's up? What's up with you, college girl?"
She snorts. "A whole lotta everything, but very little college."
"And here I thought you moved away from us to better yourself and nourish the mind."
"Mh." She rolls her eyes, taking out her phone.
I watch in something like bewilderment as she gives a crooked little smile at her phone screen then types away. It's strange because I don't think I've ever seen Mack smile down at her phone; then it's stranger because it's been a minute and I'm just staring.
"So."
She glances up. "So." Her nails click against the screen for a while before she looks up at me properly. "Turns out I timed my visit home exactly right with Nat's."
"When is she coming?"
"This morning. Landed an hour before me. She went to her parents' first, but Chloe and Gus are on their way to pick her up right now."
"Cool."
"Mhm." Her eyes slip to her phone again and she snorts, typing.
"By all means. Don't let me distract you."
When she looks up, she looks almost startled. It's all too brief though, before a mock-pout takes over her face. "Feeling neglected?"
"No." I roll my eyes. "Just nosy. Who are you texting?"
She shrugs, looking back down at her screen and typing. "Nobody."
"Ah, yes. Heard of them."
She looks up with an eye roll. "It's just a group chat."
"A group chat?"
"Mhm."
"A group chat?"
"That's what I said."
"Who's the group?"
Mack shrugs. Again. "Just some friends from San Diego."
"You told me you didn't like anyone from college."
"Did I?"
"Yeah."
She frowns. "When?"
I pause, because I can't remember. I distinctly remember Mack ranting about just how much everyone at her school was either snobby, or weird, or boring. I just can't put a timestamp on it.
"Maybe your sophomore year."
"That's after I got bored with my freshmen group," she says flippantly. "Met new people. A couple of seniors who graduated before me and their friends. Some people who didn't even go to USD."
"Your college group doesn't have college people?"
"They're not my college group. They're my San Diego group. Some of them are actually moving to San Francisco this summer." She's typing again as she says this.
I just stand in front of her, staring. A few too many seconds pass without her noticing, and then a few more after that.
I'm tempted to leave. Walk away, sneakily close the door behind me as silently as I can, see how long it takes her to notice I'm gone. Then a little voice at the back of my head cruelly asks me what I would do if it took her a really long time to notice I was gone. Like, a hurtful period of time.
"So," I say instead.
She looks up again.
"Should we head down? Meet the others?" I ask.
"Sure."
Some cosmic deity of good timing must have taken pity on me, because just as we make it downstairs to the lobby, our friends come in through The Lodge's front door.
Chloe comes in the front, smooth dark hair loosely caught in a side braid. Gus is right behind her, holding the door as Natalie walks in.
I've seen Chloe and Gus nearly every day for the past four years. We train together, eat together, hang out together, compete together. But Mack and Nat left after high school for college. One for California, the other for Connecticut. One to get some sun and live in a city with nightlife, the other to study and take the next standard step into adult life.
Nat's smile when she sees us is brighter than the glare from the sun on the snow at the top of the skiing lanes. She was already pretty back in high school, but she grew even more into herself during college. If that was possible. The big eyes fit her face even better now. Her hair is more styled, framing her face nicely. She's gorgeous.
She's also Eli's ex-girlfriend.
"Look what the wind dragged in," Chloe says.
"Nice to see you too," Mack says.
A family of tourists brushes past us and we have to step away from the door to let them through. Moving inside to the restaurant area, we take a round booth by the window. I slide in next to Chloe with Gus by my side. Natalie and Mack settle in on Chloe's other side.
Hannah pops up by our table, pen and pad out, cheery grin on her face. "Hey, guys. Welcome home."
Nat returns the smile, and I don't like the ugly green feeling that tightens around my chest. Is she wearing highlighter or does her skin naturally glow like that?
"Thanks, Han. How are you doing?" Nat asks.
"The uhze. Same old me in this same old town. You guys need a minute or you're ready to orders?"
"I'll take a latte. Almond milk, please," Nat says.
"Two," Gus says.
"You drink dairy," Chloe says.
"Can't I try almond milk?" Gus shoots back, a little too snippy.
Chloe raises her eyebrows, but leaves it.
Pursing her lips as though physically trapping in a comment, Hannah takes note of the orders on her pad. It might be a trick of the light, but as she lowers her face I can see some unusual shadows under her eyes. I remember the handsome Miller boy she was chatting with just last night at closing time. Could Hannah have had a late night?
"Two lattes with almond milk, a sugarless black coffee for Chloe, and an espresso for Liam," Hannah lists out loud. She looks at Mack. "And for you?"
"I'll get a flat white."
"Alright. Be right up." She clicks her pen and turns with a skip in her step.
As Hannah walks away, I narrow my eyes at Mack. "Thought a flat white was just a latte who thought too much of itself."
Mack gives me a weird look. "What?"
"That's what you said."
"When?"
"Years ago."
Mack shrugs. "I tried one two summers ago and that's all I get now."
I arch my eyebrows. "Okay."
Just before the moment of awkwardly tense silence that follows can stretch for longer than a couple of seconds, a group of seven bustles into The Lodge. I lift my gaze on instinct and immediately regret it.
My eyes automatically skip everyone else and zero in on Eli's bulking frame, next to Owen Holmes and Dean Miller, at the tail of the group. I can hear Trey Coleman and Connor Wong loudly crossing the room, but my focus is all on him. My stomach flutters with the anticipation of waiting to see whether he'll meet my eyes or not, and then it clenches when he doesn't.
Get a grip, Liam.
I look down at the dark mahogany of the table, forcing myself to be enthralled by the subtle patterns of the wood.
"How is it possible Owen Holmes is still so hot after all these years?" Gus mumbles sulkily.
I thank his pathetic thoughts for the distraction from my own pathetic thoughts.
"Good genes?" Chloe offers.
Gus rolls his eyes.
"Do you know what else hasn't changed about him after all these years?" I ask. "How straight he is."
Gus's gives me an even more intense eye roll than the one he gave Chloe. "I know. It's just seeing him every year around this time with the hockey gang really reminds me of just how short the supply of attractive gay men around here is."
"Hurts less if you don't think too much about it," Chloe says.
"Easy for you to say," Gus scoffs. "With your perfect boyfriend in your perfect bubble."
This time, Chloe rolls her eyes, and it almost seems like she's pointedly not looking at James Lowell behind us.
"I honestly don't get how you're so desperate," Mack says. "You go to international skating competitions all the time. You're telling me you never had yourself a nice-looking pro skater to take the edge off?"
Gus opens his mouth as if to protest, but no sound comes out.
Hannah sets our drinks on the table from a round dark tray. I make myself smile at her in thanks and take the moment to study the dark circles under her eyes again.
Do I look like that too?
Surely not. Despite the late, long night, for the few hours of sleep that I did get, I slept like a rock. A happy, warm, completely satisfied rock.
When Hannah walks away, heading for Eli's table, I follow her with my eyes. Then I indulge in one more look at him, just to see if the relaxed smile on his face when he's around his friends looks the same as the one he had this morning. In bed. Naked. With me.
This time, though, he meets my gaze.
My stomach – the traitor – does a kick-flip. Without asking for permission or anything.
I turn back around a little too jerkily.
Natalie clears her throat, which makes me realize nobody said anything until now.
"How was San Diego, Mack?" She tries conversationally. "You rarely talk about school. I don't think I even know what you majored in."
"I didn't."
I frown and, for a fraction of a second, Chloe's eyes find mine just before she voices the question in my head.
"You didn't?"
"I didn't graduate," Mack confirms.
"Why not?" I ask slowly.
Mack shrugs. "Got side-tracked with other things. My aunt, the one who had those properties in Malibu, is purchasing some estates in San Francisco to renovate and sell. She wants someone to locate there to oversee the project. So I offered."
"You're moving to San Francisco?" I ask.
"Mhm. Think it'll suit me better than San Diego. More life." She looks at Gus. "And a whole lot gayer," she sing-songs enticingly.
Gus doesn't look impressed.
Mack ignores him. "What about you, Nat? What do you do with a..." She cocks her head. "What's your major again?"
"I'm an Art Studio Major."
"Right. And that means?"
"Just a lot of visual arts." Nat smiles, like she's used to having to answer this exact question.
"What do you do with that?" Mack asks.
"Could do a lot," Nat says. "I think I'd like to try my luck at digital and graphic design. Preferably I'll start looking into options closer to home."
Mack looks surprised. "Really? In Idaho?"
"What's wrong with Idaho?" I ask. A little too immediately, and a little too pointedly.
Mack gives me a look. "Yeesh, calm down. Just asking."
Chloe clears her throat. With, like, zero subtlety. She waits for me to meet her eyes before focusing hers on Nat. "Well, it'd be great to have you back home."
"Thanks." Nat smiles. "How's James?"
Chloe's smile is trite. "Great."
"They're disgusting together, I swear to God," Gus says dramatically. "Never leave each other's side. Just constantly rubbing their happiness in everyone's face. Makes you want to throw yourself in the lake in the winter and wait for it to freeze over your head."
"Geez, Gus. Life has really bittered you, hasn't it?" Mack says.
I snort.
Before Gus can answer, someone slides on the booth bench next to him, making him scooch closer to me.
"Why, it's good to see some new old faces," Trey Coleman muses through a grin, looking between Mack and Natalie.
"I'm sure it is," Mack says.
Trey flashes us his best charming smile. "The boys and I were just exchanging ideas back there."
"Sounds terrifying," Chloe clips.
Trey laughs that off good-naturedly. "We should hang out. All of us. Make the most of all these perfectly-timed visits. Get the whole Brunson High class of 2021 together." He drapes his arm over the back of the booth bench behind Gus. "We never know how long some of you are staying or when we'll have the chance again."
"We don't have the whole class of 2021 together, though," Gus says.
Trey shrugs. "Those who count. Some of the other hockey boys are coming home from college later, in the summer. But Holmes, Miller and Blake will be gone by then."
"Sounds good. Count me in."
It's not the positive reply that surprises me, it's how quickly and easily it comes. Especially coming from Chloe.
She shrugs when I look at her, but her eyes don't move away from Trey.
"Well, damn. If she's in, I guess I am too," Mack says, sipping on her flat white.
"Should be fun to see everyone together again," Nat says.
"That's all I needed to hear. We'll text you some details. And I trust the ladies will bring you two along," Trey says, winking at me and Gus before standing and walking back to his table.
I turn my head to follow him, giving myself some slack when my eyes inevitably land on the one new old face I really want to see. Though I'd rather see him at night, alone, in my room; not quite in a space full of old high school classmates.
Eli meets my gaze again and his lips quirk up in a very tame smile.
Seriously. I need to have a talk with my stomach about these unauthorized little tricks and flips.