Dating Mr. CEO - Chapter 23: Chapter 23

ELROY
It was foolish of me to even take Fay serious, I knew that. But there was something about the tone she used, something challenging. It was only alcohol though, it never really got to me untill I had more than I could take.
But this was bruichladdich whiskey. just one glass, then you'd start hearing voices and seeing things that aren't even real.
"Come on, don't chicken out." Fay teased.
I rolled my eyes and poured myself a shot, "Cheers." I said with a grim look before raising the glass and gulping it all down in one go.
Mistake.
It took me a minute to get myself, the hot flavour burned down my throat to my stomach, I could feel my insides expanding, shit. but I choose to ignore it.
It was just one shot. Can do no harm.
"Whoa... Ballsy of you." Fay cheered, raising her half filled glass before downing the content.
He face scrunched up. I guess it was pretty strong for her too. Maybe way to strong.
"You okay?" I had to ask, cause she just sat there, looking all stiff.
"Yeah... It's pretty strong. You win this round."  She chuckled.
"Yeah, and it's the last round we'll be having." I made it clear to her.
I knew it was kind of normal, two adults drinking in a somewhat remote motel. Trying to hangout or maybe get to know each other better. But this wasn't just too adults... This was Fay and I.
It was odd, to me.... The setting.
I knew I suggested it, I knew I wanted to spend some time with her, but it was all so unreal, we never go five seconds without arguing, that was like our private thing.
Sitting here with her, having a weird but somewhat normal conversation, was the the unreal thing about all this.
Well you signed up for this when you decided to give in. My mind grumbled.
Did I decide to give in?
Of course you did...
But I don't think so... I'm only doing this for grandma's sake and that's all. I want to make my grandma happy, and if it takes me being nice to Fay, then so be it.
Absentmindedly, I pored myself another shot.
"Thought you said that was your first and last drink for tonight?" Fay asked.
I looked at the filled shot glass in my hand, then shrugged. "Turns out bruichladdich isn't as bossy as it paints itself to be." I answered, taking a sip. Allowing my muscles to relax a bit, due to the alcohol, but surprisingly, I still had my senses in check.
Fay smiled.
There was something different about the look in her eyes, or maybe I was just seeing things. She seemed to have relaxed a bit, I guess the alcohol was to blame for that, but she still looked in control of her senses.
Her hazel eyes continued to stare at me.
I only knew that because I was also staring. Waiting for her to say something.
Yvonne always took the wheel anytime it was time to talk, I never brought up conversations, it was not my thing. I wasn't capable of bringing up conversations because I have other people do it for me.
Perks of being the boss of everything.
But when she kept staring at me like she was trying to reach deep into my soul and discover what the hell was going through my mind, I had to speak up. "What?" I asked her.
She placed her hand on her chin, staring at me. "I'm confused, that's all."
I cocked a brow, waiting for her to continue, but she didn't, so I helped her. "Confused? About what?"
"You." She simply said, blinking adorably, drawing my attention to her naturally long lashes. "You confuse me." Looked around. "This... Confuses me. This setting, it's just odd. You and I, drinking in a motel, like normal people who don't hate each other's guts."
"I don't hate your guts, Fay." I muttered.
"Well I do." She said, but her eyes said otherwise. Almost like she was trying to convince herself that she indeed hated my guts.
"I don't blame you for that, honestly. It's my fault. I took you for granted and I made you develop hate towards me. I own that, and honestly, I don't regret it." I found myself saying.
She raised her brows in confusion. "What do you mean by that?"
I shrugged. "The thing is that, I do that a lot, I tend to push people away and I don't know why... It drives me crazy that I don't why but I just have this defense mechanism, it feels like it's better to push people far away from arms reach because they'll only hurt you in the end." My brain couldn't stop myself from saying that.
Why?
Her eyes softened. "Is this about Yvonne? Did she hurt you that much?"
"No." I blurted. "I didn't feel a thing when she ended things. It was probably because I knew it was coming."
"What do you mean?" She asked.
I shrugged. "I guess I was too difficult to handle... Or maybe she wasn't really with me for me, but for what I had to offer. Yvonne is a golddigger."
"She seems like a nice person to me, maybe you're just reading too much into the issue, or maybe you did something."
Maybe I did something? It was going perfect, I was beginning to lean in, I wanted so bad to tell the world about our relationship, but she insisted not. I trusted her with the darkest part of my heart, I handed myself over to her like an idiot, but she smashed my heart on a plate and pierced it with her tiny heels.  Over night.
For days I had thought I did something wrong, begging her like a fool, trying to talk to her, trying to get back together. Only to find out about her debut with my designs.
I felt betrayed, hurt to the bone! But I didn't process through that feeling, I guess that was why I couldn't just let it go. Anytime I saw her, I'd still feel the sharpness of her heels, pressing my heart mercilessly to the plate.
"I was good to her." I heard myself say at last. "I treated her like a queen, gave her everything she wanted, I gave her the respect I couldn't give my brothers, I spent time with her than I spent with my grandma." I said. "I was serious with us, but she wasn't. I was just part of her ladder to climb to the top. Nothing else."
"Is that why you treat me like crap? Because you feel like I'm not with you because of you?" Fay asked.
I scoffed. "Are you with me because of me?" I asked her, knowing the answer to that question already.
"No. My mom thought it was a good idea, she forced me. I never wanted to go on that unfortunate date with you, three years ago. I was ready to stand my ground, but then I met your grandma," Fay gave a small laugh. "She was the sweetest thing. She made it sound like you were hopeless."
I could help but smile at that. "She thought I had never been in a relationship. Little did she know that I was just getting out of one." I muttered, running my fingers through my hair. Fay's eyes followed my movements.
"Were you hopeless though?" She asked.
"What?"
"Getting a girlfriend. You have all the charm in the world. And I'll admit, before I met you, I had a deep crush on you guys. I mean, you guys were the 'it'"
"Guys?"
"Yeah, you, Damien, Cade." She said. "I called the three of you, devilish sins."
And there you have it, The infamous drunk Fay. She'd so much regret this in the morning.
"Oh really? I bet you have pictures of us scattered around your pent house."
She scoffed. "Pictures? Pulsee, I can do better than that... I have a shrine, with candles and ornaments, with videos of you guys playing on repeat, there are also tons of pictures too."
I chuckled. "Really?"
"Do I look like I'm joking?"
No. You look like you're drunk.
"Not at all." I answered instead. "So tell me, what was your first impression of me after our first date?"
She grinned, flaunting those rarely seen dimples that I paid no attention to before, I noticed the way her eyes produced crinkles whenever she smiled, the way her cheeks brightened up too, the way her whole face appraised her smile.
What are you doing? I asked myself.
"Well, considering the way I ended the dinner with my wine to your face? I pretty much concluded that you were an asshole and a jerk who puts himself above everyone else. After the date, I took all your pictures from my shrine, now it's Just Cade and Damien."
I chuckled. "What did I even do? I was only stating facts."
"Yeah, calling my mom a money lover was you stating facts." She grimaced.
"Whatever, it's not like you worship your Mom or something, you know I'm right, she only agreed to my grandma's offer because of my last name."
Sadness over took her face, making her smile fade away, and also making me question why I had the urge to make it come back.
"My mother might not be the great motherly image, but she's still my Mom. And I still love her." She said quietly.
I swallowed. Feeling light headed. "You never talk about your Dad." I stated. Watching her.
Her face was void of any emotion as she spoke. "I don't know him, and I don't want to. Please don't ask me why... I don't want to talk about it."
"Okay." I drawled out. Not realizing that I did, until too seconds later.
Damn it! This shit is strong as fuck.
"I like you better when you're drunk, El... You should get drunk more often." She smiled softly.
"I'm not drunk. Just tired."
"Hm, tell that to a five year old Fay." She chuckled.
More like a drunk Fay.
"I want to trust you." She said after a short moment of silence. "But I'm scared."
What was I supposed to say to that? Would I even advice her to trust me?
"I admit, at first I hated your guts, but then I got used to you. I got to see you. The part of you that wanted to be seen. And I liked that part, no matter how much I tried to hide it or even deny it." She said.
I felt a pang of guilt after she finished talking.
Why do I feel guilty? Was it because I didn't feel the same way?
Why do I feel like nothing good would come out of this? Of us?
Why?