Dating Mr. CEO - Chapter 29: Chapter 29

ELROY
An appointment in the office? Lies....
I wanted to see Karen Holster, my ex therapist. The minute I found out she was the same person treating Fay, I made a decision to see her. Did she tell Fay anything? Anything about our sessions back then?
I knew it was against their laws to sell out a patient's details and whatever. But the way Fay talked, it was almost as if their relationship had surpassed a doctor and a patient's relationship.
When I stepped into her office, she was busy taking a file from her office table.
"Karen." I called out her attention.
She jumped a little.
When her eyes met mine, they widened. "Elroy?" She asked, almost as if she couldn't believe I was standing in front of her.
"I believe my presence is enough for you to detect that. Do you have time to talk?"
She still looked shocked. "Uh... Yeah, I guess, my uh.. my uh patient called to reschedule the time, so she won't be here till an hour later." She said.
"Great." I said.
"What is it? Did something happen?" She asked, giving me that doctor look.
"Nothing happened. Aside from the fact that I found out you were treating Fay Handerson, who I'm pretty sure you're quite aware, is my girlfriend."
Her shoulders relaxed a bit. "That's what you're here to talk about?"
"Obviously? Why else would I be here?" I asked.
She dropped the file. "Have a seat please." She said motioning to the patient couch.
I raised my brow, studying her. "I'm not here to seat, like some patient who needs help. I'm here to talk about the fact that you didn't think it was important for me to know that you were treating Fay." I said.
She sighed, "We're gonna talk about that. Sure. But you look like you have a lot of things on your mind-"
"I don't." I cut her off.
"Have you forgotten who you're talking to?"
"No, you're Karen Holster. My ex therapist." I stated, making her roll her eyes.
"Have a seat Roy, I know you, and I know something is bothering you, something you might want to talk about... We're still friends okay? Since my patient won't be here for an hour more, why don't we just catch up, on lost times. Don't worry, I won't charge, this is just a friendly discussion." She smiled.
"I'm not interested in-"
"Just sit down, already." She said, her face going serious now.
"Fine." I snapped, plopping down on the couch. "Happy now?"
She made herself comfortable on her small doctor chair. "I'm glad." She said. "So now, care to tell me why you care so much about Fay being a patient of mine?"
"Trust me, I don't care. All I want to know is why you didn't tell me. Did you tell her anything? Anything about her sessions?"
"Why would I do that? You were once my patient."
"I Know... That's why I'm worried."
"I didn't tell her anything. She doesn't even know you were once my patient."
I felt a bit relieved. "Great."
"Why were you so worried? She's your girlfriend after all, at one point, you'd have to open up to her." Karen said.
"There'd be no such thing, Karen. She doesn't need to know anything about my past. It's hidden from the media, it should also be hidden from her."
"But she's your girlfriend."
"I don't give a damn. So what if she's my girlfriend, should I make the same mistake I made with Yvonne? Spill my heart out to her, only for her to crush it within weeks?"
"Fay isn't Yvonne." Karen stated.
"You don't know that. Yvonne was only with me because she wanted something from me. Fay, she's only with me because her mother asked her to be. She hates my guts."
"How do you know that? Did she tell you she hated you?"
"Yes... She tells me that every blessed day." I muttered.
"And how does that make you feel?" She asked.
How does it make me feel? I don't feel anything... I simply do not care what she thinks of me... I only care about what I'm aiming to achieve. My grandmas peace of mind, and less drama.
I shrugged. "I don't care what she thinks of me." I said.
"Are you sure?"
Am I? Why would I start caring about what she thought of me? It wasn't like she liked me or anything? We were only fond of each other.
Me trying to make our relationship work, isn't because I want it to... I just wanted peace. Since I couldn't put an end to the relationship, I should at least seize the endless drama, since it was beginning to affect everyone.
"Why would I care? Listen Karen, I don't like Fay, I'm only fond of her."
"So, you're saying your recent acts of gentility, is fake?"
"It's not... I'm just tired of the endless drama. It's threatening to ruin the relationship I have with my grandma."
"I don't believe you."
"Nobody believes me." I stated. "It's the normal."
"Why don't you just give in to her?" Karen asked. "Why are you still being stubborn? It's been three years."
"I know. It's just that, I've been hurt before, and I hated the feeling. I don't want to ever go through that... When I've not even gotten through it."
"You need to let it go, Elroy... You need to let everything go."
Let everything go? Is that even possible? She was asking me to turn on my humanity, go through emotional hell, only to step into it again? "This was the reason why I stopped our sessions."
"I know... But it's the truth Elroy, if you ever wanna move forward, you have to let go of the past... It's only gonna pull you back."
"Ever stopped to ask me if I wanted to move forward?"
Silence followed.
Moving forward? What does that even mean? I can't just move forward... Forget that I sold my soul to Yvonne only for her to misuse it... Forget I murdered my own parents.
"That's not a nice thing to say, Elroy. Everyone has to move forward."
"Everyone hasn't been through what I have being through." I told her.
"I know that... You think you're responsible for the fact that Yvonne ended things with you, you think you're responsible for your parents death."
I scoffed. "I don't think Karen, I know." I said.
"Your parents wouldn't want you to think this."
"My parents hate me... I believe they blame me everyday wherever they are... No one wants to say it, but I believe everyone thinks it. Cade, Damien, even my grandma. They just don't want me to feel bad about it... I see it everytime a conversation about it comes up... They blame me... They think I faked the attack, they think I was just being greedy, that I wanted to spend some alone time with my parents."
"You didn't fake it." Karen said.
"I don't know that, I'm not even sure if I did get an asthma attack. Cause that shit hasn't happened to me since that night. It stopped, making everyone, including myself, hate me. Why do you think I don't trust myself?"
"El-"
"I killed them. It was my fault, and no matter how many times anyone tries to tell me that it wasn't my fault, I'd always know that it is and always will be, my fault."
"You need to stop thinking that."
"I'm sorry Karen, but I can't hide away from the truth." I said. "Cause thats what it is, the truth."
She stared at me, sadly. I could read her stare, it simply stated that I couldn't be fixed, no matter how hard anyone tried. All that was needed was hope.
I knew I couldn't be fixed, my dark thoughts had invaded my heart, it had spread it's dark thorns on my veins and it had blocked my senses. It'd take a miracle to fix all that damage.
And as for Fay, this morning was a clear prove that I wasn't close to accepting her fully... I wake up pissed, every damn morning, since that night, I couldn't change that... It was my new normal. All I'd have to do now is wake up before she does, so this morning wouldn't have to repeat itself.
I wanted to make things right, not because I want to, but because I have to.