Dating Mr. CEO - Chapter 36: Chapter 36

ELROY
I threw my phone on Damien's couch, raking my hands through my hair in complete and utter frustration.
"Giving up already?" Damien's voice cut through the air.
I narrowed my eyes angrily at him before dropping on the couch myself. "Three times, I called her three times and she didn't pick up... I mean, who does she think she is? Huh?"
Damien stared at me in disbelief as he dropped the magazine he was holding. "You know what your problem is?"
I cocked a brow at him in question.
"You ego and pride takes over your mind in almost every aspect of your life. You don't think before you act, you just act on impulse, and that is not a good thing."
The look on my face turned into a very hard scowl. "I didn't come here to get lectures from you Damien. I came here for you to- to judge the issue and to tell me that I'm not at fault. And you should be glad that I took your advice to call her and apologize, cause on a normal day, I wouldn't."
"You seem to be forgetting that this is your problem, not mine. I'm only trying to help."
"Then do that, and don't lecture me." I snapped at him.
He sighed. "Based on what you told me, she has a fault in the matter."
"Thank you." I said, exasperated.
"Oh, don't thank me yet cause you also have a fault in it."
"Excuse me?" I raised my head, glaring at him.
"Fine, we all know that the great Elroy Chesterfield never asks for help, and we all know that he has anger issues and animalistic tendencies-"
"Wha- I don't have animalistic tendencies!" I defended indignantly.
"Only animals act on impulse." Damien said. "But that's not the point, the point is, you shouldn't have called her work hideous- you should have appreciated it and reject it politely. In a more humane way."
"Oh please, appreciate it? What gave her the right to erase my work?"
"She thought she was helping, El. You yourself knew her designs were way more better than yours."
"Yeah, I know that. What was I supposed to do, tell her?"
"Exactly. And if you don't want them, reject politely. No cause for insults and yelling." Damien said. "Fine, I know she was on the wrong for touching your sketchpad without permission and erasing your hard work without a second thought, but you have to consider her motives for doing that. If it's for a bad motive, your actions are slightly granted. But Fay did it for a good motive. She didn't deserve what you said to her, or however you reacted."
I remained quiet. Why was he making so much sense? Why am I beginning to feel like the bad guy?
"Listen El, sometimes you have to learn how to control your anger issues. You need to learn how to think before acting. Tearing up the sketchpad was a big no on your side, because now you have to start all over again." Why does he sound so much like Karen?
"You think I don't know that? look, I don't know how to control it Damien, I just don't think of anything when I'm angry, I just- go with whatever comes with it, and after I get calm, I regret my actions, just like I'm regretting them now." I said. "That look on her face when I tore the sketchpad, I can't get it out of my head! I feel so fucking guilty and angry at the same time, it's driving me crazy." I gritted. "And now she's making it more worse, by ignoring my calls."
"She might be working." Damien considered.
"No, she's not- I'm pretty sure her shoot with YDI just ended." I said.
"Give her time. You managed to squish her confidence in just few minutes- it's pretty hard to come out of that... In all, I'm glad you care about her, it shows that you're indeed improving in the matters of the heart."
I rolled my eyes.
"So what are you gonna do now? About your designs, the pre merge program is in two weeks, what are your plans?"
"I don't know- everything's just ruined." I said.
Why did I have to go and tear up my sketchpad? All my designs- argh! Elroy, you didn't play it well this time! Damn this anger shit!
"I'll make new ones, I guess." I muttered.
"Whatever works for you. Just take your mind off the issue. Feeling guilty isn't going to help, you have to hurry with work if you want to make it through to the merge program."
He was right? But where do I even start from?
_
I checked my phone for the tenth time since I got to my office, and since the last ninth time, there was no text message or missed calls from Fay.
I turned to my new sketchpad again, resting my hand on my chin.
Never have I ever let the thought of Fay Henderson hinder my working progress. I just couldn't get her out of my head and mind.
Every time I feel like everything was getting better, I'd just ruin everything for myself, over and over again.
Am I cursed or something?
I don't remember facing this much issues with Yvonne.
That's probably because Yvonne was with you for her own selfish motives, and she'd take whatever you do as nothing just to satisfy you, and build more ladders to her success.
I sighed. "Where did I go wrong with Fay?" I asked myself outwardly. "I mean, I know we got off on the wrong foot, but why do I keep pushing her away?"
Great, now I'm talking to myself.
I dropped my pencil, relaxing back on my chair.
Fay was beginning to like me, there's no doubt in that. She cared, also no doubt in that.
So why was I holding back? Why am I trying to protect myself from her? She proved no threat- why the hell can't I just drop the fact that I'm doing this for grandma, and do it for myself?
Because you don't deserve happiness.
My reserve weakened at the thought that popped into my mind. I don't deserve happiness? Why? Because I ruined everyone's happiness? Or because I tend to ruin everyone's happiness without even knowing it? Or is it because I couldn't tell if I had been pretending to have an asthma attack that night?
Stop this El. Don't question yourself. You need to relax. Just like before, everything will go perfectly fine. The merge and pre merge program will go in your favor. I won't completely fail mom and dad, I might have murdered them, but I won't murder their company too.
This is the only way to prove that I'm not completely a failure, a murderer, home wrecker. I can still do something to make them proud.
Like I do every two years, I'd win this for them. Not for me. For them.
The soft knock on my door, pulled me out of my thoughts.
"Yeah, come in Carter." I said, sitting up and picking up my pencil.
The sound of the door opening made me raise my head.
I stilled. To hell if it was indeed Carter standing in front of me.
"Sorry to bother you." Fay's voice came out quiet as she looked everywhere but refused to meet my gaze.
"Fay?" I found myself asking, unable to believe she was standing in front of me, looking all vulnerable and guilty, very guilty. "Why did you knock? You don't knock." I asked.
"Well, I thought you might be- you know- really busy and I didn't- I just didn't want you to get mad at me again."
I shut my eyes for a second before opening them again.
I stood up and walked up to her. "You don't have to knock before coming in... Have I ever complained?"
She hesitated before speaking. "No- but, I just, thought you might be-" she sighed, finally meeting my gaze. "This isn't why I'm here."
I watched her closely. "Why are you here?"
She blinked, collecting her thoughts before she spoke. "What I did this morning, it-"
I stopped her.
"Fay you don't need to ap-"
"Please let me finish." She cut me off. "I'm really sorry about what happened. I just wanted to help, I thought you'd be relieved if I took some load off your shoulders."
Damn, if her apology didn't even make me feel more guilty? I wonder what could.
"Ever since I noticed how worked up you'd gotten over the pre merge program, I- I'd always wanted to do something to help. I knew you would refuse if I offered my help, so that's why I- that's why I thought that not asking you if you needed help would be the best thing to do." She sighed. "If I had known it'd make us fight? I wouldn't have considered it. Before, I wouldn't have cared if - if you were somewhere, really mad at me. But now I- I just can't stand it El. I'm sorry." Her voice broke when she said the last two words.
I didn't fail to notice the change of rhythm my heart gave as she apologized, it was deeper than the way I felt when I kissed her for the first time.
"I should have just left everything the way they were." Her voice began to shake. Oh no. "And now, because of me, you- you'll have to start all over again-"
She was going to start crying... Jesus, I won't be able to stand that..
I gulped. "Fay-"
"It's all my fault, I should have just- I- if I could turn back time, I'd undo everything I did- I'm so sorry, El-" a tear dropped down her left cheek.
Shit.
"Fay, stop this- it's okay." I said, reaching out to her, "I'm not mad at you."
"You are, anyone would be mad at me." Another tear dropped, "I was just too forward, I- I shouldn't have erased  your designs." Then followed by a sob.
I instantly pulled her in for a hug, wrapping my arms around her, on impulse. Her head rested on my chest. I couldn't deny the fact that she felt perfect in my arms. And the thought caused my heart to race even more.
I didn't care if she heard it.
"I was mad at you, but now I'm not. Okay? You're right, anyone would be mad. But then again, I didn't have to tear it up, so- that's a fault on my side."
"But if I hadn't messed with your designs, you wouldn't have had the need to tear it up." She mumbled against my chest, still crying.
"Well, the both of us are at fault. Please stop crying now. I don't like it." I said, realizing my new found displeasing act she had.
Her tears seemed to bring out a side in me I thought I'd never actually see again. Why?
"I'm sorry for changing your patterns." She continued to apologize.
"And I'm sorry for calling them hideous. Just so you know, I was lying." I said.
"I know." She mumbled. "I knew my patterns were way better than yours." She said, visibly calming down.
I felt relived.
"So what's that supposed to mean?" I asked, my tone light.
"Your patterns were not nice enough, we both know mine was better."
I found myself smiling, as I pulled away gently, so I could stare at her face, only to make sure her tears had stopped flowing.
They had.
"I'm starting to think this was a sham." I said, a smile plastered to my face.
I didn't care.
She sniffed cutely, wiping her cheeks. "It wasn't, but let's face it... My designs are better."
I rolled my eyes playfully.
"All you just have to do is admit it."
"Well, you might be," I drawled. "... Thinking they were, but my designs still remains best." I smiled.
She laughed, hitting me playfully on my arm.
Hmph, I made her laugh.
But then, her face turned gloomy again. "What are you going to do now? It's only two weeks to the pre merge program."
I scoffed. "It's not a question of what I'm going to do. It's a question of what you are going to do."
Her brows furrowed in confusion. "What?" She asked.
"Well, since you made me tear up my sketchpad, you'd have to redraw the designs." I said.
Her eyes widened. "What? I didn't make you tear it up?"
I raised a questioning brow at her.
"Fine, maybe I did... But I wasn't the one who propelled your hand into dividing it."
"Hmm... Okay fine... Since we're both at fault, we should do it together." I found myself saying.
"Together?" She asked with a look of disbelief.
"Yeah, or isn't that okay with you?"
Her eyes widened a bit. "It is." She said with a smile as she engulfed me in a warm hug, causing another heart failure. "It's more than okay, El."