Dating Mr. CEO - Chapter 42: Chapter 42

ELROY
"I know it's late Carter, but there's a reason why you're my- no- I want it today- not tomorrow- Carter, it's not that late- what? You leave twenty minutes away from Sparks- I need it emailed- Carter will you just do as you're told- Cart- hello? Hello?"
I hissed in anger, knowing fully well he wasn't going to go back to Sparks by this hour. But then again, his house wasn't so far from Sparks. It was just 11PM anyway, it wasn't so late, was it?
The harsh cold wind cut through my jacket sweater, to my white T-shirt.
I was currently in the balcony, standing at the edge of the railing, savoring the cold after-rain breeze and drinking in the beautiful view the city provided.
Taking a sip of my strawberry flavored wine, I slipped my phone into the pocket of my sweat pants. I'd deal with Carter later, but for now, I had to think.
I gulped, remembering the events of this evening.
You know what? I was supposed to be relieved, relieved at the fact that I had finally gotten an answer to a question that made me question myself for years.
I had an asthma attack, not too long ago, it was supposed to be a good thing, a very good thing to my sanity, to my unanswered questions, to my heavy heart... It was supposed to make me feel less guilty. But it brought back the memories of that night. The continuous nightmare.
I just realized that it was all useless, everything.
Fine, what if I finally confirmed that I indeed had an asthma attack that night? What was the prove going to do? Would it bring them back? Would it make me feel less guilty? No... It wouldn't.
No matter what happened, no matter what anyone says or feels, it wouldn't wipe away the fact that it was because of me. I brought them outside, they helped the woman and her child, and then it all went blank. I lost everything.
It was just in a matter of seconds, one minute we were fine, and the next- everything got ruined.
I had tried everything, everything to erase that lady's presence, tried to erase the memory of us stopping to help, of my Dad taking that damn route in the first freaking place. I had tried to think and place the idea that we were only three in the car, I had tried to admit it and convince myself but I couldn't- his eyes- those baby blue innocent eyes wouldn't stop taunting me.
I hadn't seen those eyes for years, I'd managed to evade the nightmares, the reminder. I had managed to convince myself that it was just three of us in the car.
But it all came rushing back today, all the memories, the event, the moment.
His taunting eyes.
Our Family lawyer had stopped the case from hitting the news, he had managed to tell the press that it was just my Mom and Dad in the vehicle that night, he had managed to take the woman and her son out of the picture. But he couldn't erase it from my head.
It was there, like a shadow.
I managed to take another sip of my wine, hoping I was going to feel a little calm. Another cold wind blew, making me shiver, but I didn't mind. I could stay here till it was dawn.
That night was never going to stop haunting me, was it? It was never going to stop making me hate myself. I couldn't change the past. If I could, I would have just ignored Cade's plea.
Elroy, there's no point thinking about a past you can't change.
A small voice whispered in my head, it was something Yvonne used to say to me. And she was right. Why think about it? It was never going to change.
But then again, I knew why I felt even more guilty. Even though Grandma had told me that hiding the real truth about that night was the best thing to do- it didn't make it stop being wrong. We took away the joy of the woman's family.
Paid off her husband so he wouldn't say a word, got his wife paralyzed and his little boy, killed.
I didn't just ruin my family, I ruined his life, and that of his other children.
No matter what I did, I wouldn't be able to let go of that burden.
Oh, what I would give to see that woman again, maybe apologize to her for what happened. What I would give to know if her family was okay.
But grandma wouldn't disclose anything, neither would the lawyer, they told me they'd handle everything but- but I needed to be sure- maybe, maybe then I'd feel a little relieved.
"Elroy?"
I flinched at the sound of Fay's voice. I turned immediately. She stood by the balcony entrance, hugging herself due to the cold. She looked so small and vulnerable.
She looked tired.
Damn it! How worried would she have been over me? I can't believe I put her through that.
"Hi." I said with a small smile, "What are you doing awake?"
She furrowed her brows in confusion. "I should be asking you that... Why didn't you finish the drip, you know it's not really healthy to stop when it's not finished yet-"
"Fay-"
"Dr. Xavier specifically told me to make sure you abstain from anything cold or smokey or-"
"Fay-"
"Dusty, you can't be out here, it's too cold- I can't let you be out here. Look at what you're even wearing- that's not even a sweater-"
"Fay-"
"Come back inside please, it's freezing out here, I'll find you a more thicker sweater-"
I groaned inwardly when she kept on blabbering.
I dropped my wine glass on a nearby table,
"Dr. Xavier said you should stay in- in warm places and this is anything but warm El-"
Then I made my way to her direction. She wasn't even focusing on my movements cause she couldn't bring her eyes to meet mine.
"...It was almost as if Dr. Xavier knew you wouldn't complete the treatment, so he gave me the run down on how to fix up the drip again, so we-"
I stopped her from speaking when I pulled her in for a hug.
I wasn't sure why I did it. Maybe it was because she wouldn't stop talking or, maybe it was because I needed it. But I was glad I did.
Her warmth felt homely, she felt so perfect in my arms, it was so comfortable that I tightened my hold on her, almost as if, if I let her go, I'd feel lost again. I breath in the lovely fragrance of roses and vanilla all around her body.
Her hair was like a protective shield, shielding me away from the harsh truth the world was craving to spit at me.
Her whole presence sent a wave of reassurance around me. She made me feel like I should be okay.
What Is this? Since when did she make me feel this way? She felt like a different kind of oxygen.
One breath of her, all my worries wash away like mud under the rain.
"Thank you." I murmured against her neck, seeping in more of her warmth and life giving fragrance.
She pulled away from me, but I was hesitant to let go, but I had to.
I stared into those big hazel eyes of hers, getting lost in them. But the odd thing was, they weren't holding the look I expected to get from them.
"Thank me? Are you trying to mock me?" She asked.
I furrowed my brows in confusion. "What?"
"How can you thank me? What are you even thanking me for?"
"Fay what-"
"For almost getting you killed? Or for being an emotional fool who couldn't just stop thinking about herself for once?"
What in hell is she talking about? Why the hell was she even blaming herself?
"Fay, this wasn't your fault." I said slowly, hoping my words would convince her.
The look she gave me was that of guilt. Strong guilt. Something I wore on my face almost everyday.
"Wasn't my fault? It was in everyway, my fault... Everyway. If I hadn't told you to stop the car, none of this would have happened. You wouldn't have even gotten an Asthma attack. I wouldn't have almost killed you."
"What are you even saying? How can you blame yourself for this?" I frowned.
"I made you follow me out to the rain, argued with you, stressed you emotionally-"
"Stop." I said sharply. "Where's all this even coming from?"
"From where it should. From me. I'm sorry El, I'm sorry for putting you through this- it wasn't my intention. If I had known you were asthmatic, I wouldn't- I wouldn't have put you in danger like that- I swear I don't hate you, and I don't want revenge or whatsoever, I would never hurt you intentionally."
I blinked.
I don't deserve this... I don't deserve her.
"Please don't hate me because of this, I- I would never hurt you."
"Whoever said you would?"
"Everyone- everyone thinks that- that I did this on purpose- but I didn't- I would nev-"
"Who's everyone?" I asked.
"Well- well... We shouldn't even be bothered by that- the fact is-"
"Who's everyone, Fay? Who made you think this was your fault?" I asked tersely, cutting her off.
"It doesn't matter-"
"Was it Cade? Did Cade say something to you?"
Her eyes widened. "What- no.. no... No one said anything."
I watched her carefully.
"I swear, no one said anything... It's just- it's just how I feel." She said.
She was lying, obviously...
I'll drop it for now, first thing tomorrow, Cade's going to get an unwanted visitor.
"Why would you feel that way? If anything Fay, you saved me."
"No, Damien did. I didn't know what to do, if Damien hadn't called at that minute, I don't think we'd be standing here right now."
"But that isn't the case." I said. "So, stop blaming yourself."
"But-"
"No buts, Fay, please. You didn't do anything wrong, and I don't think you were aiming to hurt me... Okay? So relax." I smiled at her, something I now feel comfortable doing, around her.
She looked confused, "Why aren't you blaming me?"
I shrugged. "Because I don't think you're at fault. If anything, I'm the one who's responsible. Okay, I was careless, but then again, I wasn't expecting it so... I don't even think it was anyone's fault."
I reached forward, smoothing her hair behind her left ear.
Her hair felt so soft against my hand. I could stroke it all day.
It's funny how I see things differently now, it's funny how the littlest thing about her could pull out an attraction for her, it's funny how just staring at her could ignite my will to smile.
"Okay, can we go in now?" She said softly.
"No, let's stay out for a while." I said, still in a daze from staring at her.
"It's cold outside, El."
"I like it. Calms me." I said.
"I'm cold."
"Then you can have my Jacket."
Her eyes widened. "Have you gone mad? Why would I take your jacket? It's the only thing shielding you from the cold, I don't even think it's doing it's job."
"So what? You'd rather fall sick than to watch me fall sick?"
"Yes."
"That's stupid." I blurted.
"It's not. I care about you, El."
"More than you care about yourself?"
She gave me a look. "Let's go in, El... Please."
"I'm fine outside." I said with a smile. "It's not even that cold."
"Are you serious? The cold woke me."
"Come on... Don't over exaggerate."
"I'm not." She said, hugging herself more tightly. "Please, grab your wine, let's go in." She said.
Something about the way she spoke, made me want to do whatever she said.
"Ugh. Fine." I complained, walked over to the table, grabbed my wine, and went back to her. "let's go."
She managed a smile.
When we went in, she sled the balcony door back to it's lock. Shutting out the harsh wind coming from it. In the mean time, I took the drip far away from my side of the bed, disposing it in a corner.
"You're supposed to complete that." She murmured, sliding into the covers at her side of the bed while I took my phone from my pocket, placing it on the bedside table.
"I'm fine now, I see no need for it." I said, getting under the covers too.
She shook her head. "I'll make sure to let Dr. Xavier know, by tomorrow morning." She gave a sarcastic smile, turning to the other side after mumbling a 'good night'
I took in a deep breath, releasing it after a while.
On the pillow, my head turned to her direction, seeing the brown spread of her hair on her own pillow, since she was turned away from me.
I returned my gaze to the ceiling.
Why did the distance between us feel so wrong? Why did it suddenly feel like I should be doing something else.
With the way things were, our relationship indeed seemed to have improved but- why the hell was I holding back?
I mean? What's even the point of holding back?
What am I even protecting myself from?
"Fay." I found myself calling out her name.
"Yeah?" She answered almost immediately.
I turned to my side, facing her direction.
Slowly, she also turned, facing my direction. So now we were staring at each other, but the distance was still present.
"How did you meet Jayden Collins?"
She frowned. "Really, that's why you made me turn?"
"What? I'm just curious."
She sighed. "We met at a party."
"What party?"
"Can't remember." She answered. "Where did you meet Yvonne?"
"At a museum." I answered truthfully.
"Which museum?"
"Can't remember." I answered.
She smiled. "You're really bad at conversations." She said, closing the distance between us, blessing me with a mini heart attack, her scent filled my nostrils, her smile teased my insides, her eyes preached so many emotions. I was intoxicated. "If you want to do something," she bit her lower lip softly, drawing my attention to them. "...Just do it." She whispered, pressing her lips to mine.
She kissed me with such fervor, it pulled something in my heart. My stomach jumped, appreciating the warmth of her lips on mine.
She tasted divine, like vanilla.
I kissed her back, wanting to taste the flavor her lips was made of. I brushed her hair behind her ear, placing my hand below her ears.
The sounds of the slight drops of rain coming from outside made the atmosphere more comfortable. I deepened the kiss, wanting to taste the lovely flavor right from the source. She parted her lips submissively.
I took that opportunity to kiss her like I really wanted to. She leaned into me, pressing her body against mine.
God, she was intoxicating! like a drug that starts affecting you the moment you take it.
Damn, I should do this everyday. Get my daily dose of Fay Henderson.
Her fingers found their way to my hair, as she made a small sound of approval at the way I kissed her.
I just didn't want to stop, but I had to- her sound of approval wanted me to do more, it made me crave more moans from her. As weird as that sounds.
We pulled apart in sync, breathed in sync.
"You really should learn the act of bravery from me." She said with a smile. "Maybe next time, less conversations, and more actions."
I raised a brow at her. "You don't know who you're talking to. But don't worry, I'll let it slide. I want you to enjoy the best kiss you've ever had."
Her lips formed into an 'o'
"What? You can't deny it." I smiled. "I bet Jayden never kissed you like that."
She smiled shyly.
Hm. Cute
She turned to the other side, her back to my chest. Instinctively, I wrapped my arms around her, pulling her closer.
Will I ever get over her warmth?
"Why don't you like him?" She asked quietly.
I snuggled her up, nestling her neck. "Hm, I don't know... There's something about his smirk that just pisses me off." I murmured against her neck.
She chuckled softly.
I kinda loved the sound of it.
Slow down El, slow down.
Slow down? I was so comfortable in her arms. I used to find it difficult to fall asleep but yet, here I am... Already feeling drowsy.
I thought sleep would be so difficult to come by tonight- I thought my nightmares would hunt me without mercy, but it was no surprise how I slept so peacefully.
I mean, who wouldn't?