Dating Mr. CEO - Chapter 62: Chapter 62

FAY
I rushed towards the direction of the entrance, but I was pulled back by Carter. "Whoa, where the hell do you think you're going?"
I furrowed my brows in confusion, my heart beat wouldn't settle down and I was finding it difficult to even breath. "Inside." I breath out.
"Looking like that? Have you checked the mirror? Your makeup is- everywhere."
"I don't care about my ruined make up." I said, and I meant it. "All I care about is seeing him, I need to see him."
"I know, but if you go in there, looking like- like a widow who lost a husband and three kids, people are gonna ask questions and a scene is the last thing we wanna create."
"Fay, he's right. Go take care of yourself, and I'll talk to Elroy-" Lucas was saying, but I cut him off.
"No... You will not see him... I don't want you near him, you've done enough damage already."
Lucas sighed, and I could see it in his eyes, his intentions were so clear and pure, but I couldn't risk it. No.
I Know Lucas, I know what he was capable of and I know the range he'd go... He'd think he was solving a problem, without the knowledge that he was actually making everything worse.
We've seen how that turned out the first time.
"I just want to fix this-"
"You're only gonna make it worse... Stay away from him. Please."
He hesitated, but nodded sadly either way.
When I was sure he would listen to my pleas, I walked away with Carter.
_
Standing at a corner in the large hall, my eyes searched the crowd for the man my heart longed for. It was crowded and I didn't want to be bothered by anyone who wanted to make small talk.
Few more minutes of searching, my eyes found him.
He was sitting beside a Merge coordinator, listening to whatever the man was saying. He nodded his head sometimes and made small conversations too.
He looked normal, his black blazers hugged his body and made him look really presentable. His hair was combed to perfection but there was no tie on his neck... He looked hot, but really casual.
That was the name of his collection anyway. 'hot but casual'
A smile met his lips at something the man had said.
He looked normal.
His eyes weren't giving anything away, his body language was as normal and clear as it used to be.
It only made me confused.
I needed to talk to him.
"Stalking your own boyfriend?" Cade's voice met with my left ear.
I turned to find him standing beside me, wearing one of Elroy's collection.
I managed a smile. "Evening, Cade. What a pleasant surprise."
"I know. I had been trying to reach Elroy since morning but he wasn't answering his phone, so I decided to just hop in to see if he was okay." Cade said.
I looked back at Elroy who still hadn't glance towards my direction. "Yeah, he seems okay... But I'm not totally sure. It just feels like somethings wrong."
"Why do think I'm here?"
I turned to give him a smile. "Where's Damien?"
Cade inhaled. "Uh... He's uh... Handling- handling something really important, and he couldn't make it. Grandma's with him too, with Rhea."
"Oh... Is everything okay."
"Not exactly. So are you just seeing him now, since today?" He asked, brushing off the Damien topic.
"Yeah. I had also been trying to reach him, but it kept going to voicemail. But here he is. Acting normal." I said.
"It's strange. I know him more than I know myself. He answers his phone whenever anyone he cares about, called. Even if he doesn't want to answer it, He does. Today, everyone he cared about, called him... But he didn't respond. I needed to see if he was okay. Maybe he had been busy with the program all along."
"Yeah, maybe." I muttered.
I knew he wasn't okay, and I knew he was only masking his feelings so no one would worry.
I wouldn't let him block me out... Even if he wants to, I wouldn't let him.
_
I didn't have the chance to talk to him cause I had been modelling for Yvonne in the showcase session. All through my run walk, I noticed he wasn't looking, he was either on his phone, or speaking to someone else.
After the program, the merge CEO was called to announce the winner. And as usual, Sparks took the award.
It was all happening so fast and there was so much work to do that I wasn't even aware of the fact that Elroy was on stage, holding the award, and about to give his thanks.
I managed to exclude myself from the final shooting, so I could immediately, talk to him when he got off the stage.
Everyone got silent, waiting for him to begin his speech.
All I wanted was for him to get it over with, so I could talk to him, and maybe apologize for not being there.
He looked normal, acted normal, gave his signature smile but I could still see that something was really wrong.
And I was really worried for him.
I noticed the tight grip he had on the microphone. His knuckles were going white and his eyes searched the crowd.
He gave his usual dashing smile which the spotlight illuminated beautifully.
"Is it just me or is this award a little heavier than the last one?" He said into the Mic.
The laugher that fell out of everyone's mouth made the hall look so small. It was quite obvious they all admired him.
"No, honestly, I feel my muscles getting stronger."
Everyone laughed again.
"The stronger the better!" Someone yelled from the crowd.
"That's right." He chuckled.
What the hell is going on.
When everywhere grew quiet, he spoke again. "Thank you all so much, for this award. If only I deserved it, It would make a whole lot of difference."
Everywhere grew dead silent. And you could see the look of question everyone gave.
"I don't deserve it. I don't deserve it because I didn't work for it. This award and the other awards, I wish I didn't even-" his eyes scanned the crowd again, before continuing. "... Even take them. I know Sparks has gone a long way but- today I realized that- that I never worked for any of it. I took credit for things- for things I didn't even break a sweat for."
That was when the murmuring began.
What the hell are you doing El?
He cleared his throat, gripping the mic. "I can't accept this award." He said.
Out of the corner of my eyes, I saw Yvonne raise an amused brow at him.
"I don't want to put this award in my name. So, right now, I'm gonna call up my designing team, and my assistant Carter, up on stage."
The murmuring increased.
The four team members and Carter looked at each other as if they didn't believe what they just heard.
"Are they here? Come on up guys!"
Without further ado, they all joined him on stage.
He smiled warmly at them. "I present this award to my team. Without you guys, there would be no Sparks. You guys are the only reason this company still stands. And I can't thank you enough." He handed the award to a Carter, whose eyes were as wide as they get. "You all were here, working day and night. And I wasn't... And I don't regret it. I was with someone who -" he paused, then smiled.
"Thank you all once again, and uh... Have a wonderful evening."
And... The crowd went wild.
My heart was racing and my feet were planted on the ground I was standing on.
He walked down from the stage as the music went up.
I watched him walk out of the building, bidding goodbyes to everyone who stopped him.
I didn't know what it meant. His speech. There was just something uncomfortable about it and it made me feel so uneasy.
I blinked, snapping out of it.
I quickly rushed out of the building, in time to see him firing up the engine of his car.
He drove off immediately.
I rushed to my car, turned on my GPS so I could track his phone.
After minutes of being on the road, I spotted his car far ahead on the bridge.
I furrowed my brows, squinting my eyes, trying to find him as I pulled off right behind his car.
I turned off the engine and then stepped out of the car.
That was when I saw him, standing at the ledge of the bridge, his hand holding the railing as he looked down the water under the bridge.
He looked at peace and honestly, I felt like I was intruding, but there was something about his position that just made me scared.
"What are you doing here, Fay?" He asked, his eyes focused on the water.
My heart skipped a beat, making me take in a deep breath. "I spoke to Lucas." I treaded lightly, taking few steps closer to him.
"Hm." He said.
After that, silence followed.
When I got closer, I saw a black object on his grip. It didn't take me long enough to figure out that it was the gun.
The one Lucas gave him?
I took another careful step to him.
"Elroy, can you- can you get down from there, I- I want to talk to you."
"We're talking, besides... I love the view." He said, glancing at my direction shortly. Enough for me to see the faint smile on his face.
"The views nice." I heard myself say. I just needed to get through to him some how. I knew he wasn't okay, and I just wanted him to step down.
I needed him to step down.
My heart was going crazy with fear.
"You looked pretty today. Yvonne's design looked so good on you." He said.
"You weren't even looking." I replied.
"Yeah, I wasn't." His voice was quiet. I hardly even heard him.
"Are you okay? I... I talked to Lucas and- and he's sorry. I know the both of you are suffering and it hurts me to see you like this El... It hurts me to see the both of you like this. I've settled things with Lucas and- and everything- everything seems to be okay with him now. Or not... I don't know. Can you take a step back please? I need to hold you."
He gulped down. "I love the view." He repeated, his voice breaking.
A tear sled down my cheek. I was so useless. He was visibly suffering, and there was nothing I could do about it.
"I'm sorry." I said. "I didn't know Lucas would- would make you think that all of it was your fault. You know it's not, right?"
He didn't reply. He raised his head up, looking at the sky and blinking his eyes several times.
"I think it was this bridge." He said. "They got rid of him here. His body, lies somewhere inside this ocean. Maybe somebody found it years ago... There's no way to know. I hope someone did. I hope someone buried him."
More tears sled down my cheek.
"I didn't know, Fay... I woke up and our lawyer told me everything had been taken care of. They told me my parents didn't make it. And they told me to forget about the others. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know where to focus my emotions. They were all over the place, so I decided to shut them out. It felt more easier that way." His voice broke again.
"But today, today I realized I made a mistake. I shouldn't have blocked it out. I should have done something. I should have said something. I should have searched more. I just should have." He said.
Raising the gun, he studied it. "I couldn't do it. I couldn't do it because I know my mother would never tell me to think of my actions and decide if I still needed to breathe. I couldn't do it because I thought of my grandma, my sister, my brothers. I knew they'd never smile again. And I didn't want that. I couldn't do it, because of you. I couldn't imagine leaving you, never seeing you smile, or get mad at something I do, I couldn't do it because I had never gotten to hear you say you love me. I couldn't do it because I love you, and because I know you're the reason why- why I'm here. I didn't want to hurt you like that. I made a promise not to." His eyes still didn't leave the water.
He let go of the gun, and allowed it fall Into the water with a dull splash.
"I love you." I said. "I love you Elroy, I adore you, and I want you to know that. So please, get down from there."
His gaze met mine, a smile kicked off at the corner of his lips. "You think I'm gonna jump?"
"I don't know what to think."
He chuckled. "I'm not gonna jump Fay. I don't wanna die. At least, not now."
I gave a sigh of relief, feeling like I'd been holding my breath since forever.
"And I love you too." He said, before looking back at the water.
I allowed the silence draw on, knowing he was going to ask a question.
"When you look at me, Fay... What do you see?" He asked.
I smiled sadly, my chest still heavy. "I see you."
"Hm." He got down from the ledge, but his eyes never left the water. "When I look at myself In the mirror... Do you know what I see?"
"What do you see?"
"Nothing."
I felt a tight squeeze in my chest. His response broke my heart and I couldn't help but cry for him.
He took few steps back, turning to my direction.
He made his way towards me, pulling my body to his in a swift movement, and crashing his lips on mine harshly. He kissed me roughly and I couldn't help but sob into the kiss.
He felt cold in my arms, his body felt shakened as he tried to block out his emotions with distraction. His heart sped in an abnormal rhythm.
I tried to push him off of me but he held me tighter, pressing my body against his car.
"El - stop." I managed to let out, trying to fight him off. "Stop."
He held my wrist, taking my wrist from his chest and pinning it behind me. He claimed my lips again and this time, he kissed me harder and rougher.
Tears pulled down my eyes.
I managed to free myself from the grip he had on my wrist and tried to push him off me. "Stop- you're hurting me, stop."
He pulled away immediately. "I'm sorry."
Looking at his eyes up close. My eyes broke another fresh pile of tears. "You can't keep blocking it out." I said. "You have to let it out, or it'd hurt you."
He tried to move away but I stopped him. "No... No. Do not walk away from it."
He was shaking. I knew he was on the verge of breaking down, so I held him, wrapped my arms around him in a warm hug, trying to put him back together as much as I could.
"Let it out." I whispered to his ears. "Please let it out." My own voice was thick with tears.
He took in a shaky breath and buried his head to my neck.
I stroked his hair softly. "It's okay."
He cried silently in my arms, and I stroked his hair, whispering sweet nothings. "It's okay. I'm here with you okay? I'm not going anywhere okay? You're okay."
I stroked his hair as he sobbed in my arms, he took in shaky breaths, crying like he had lost something so dear to his heart and I couldn't help the tears that fell from my eyes also.
But I didn't care. I wanted to be with him.
He needed me and I needed him, and I was going to be there with him and for him, no matter what.