DELICATE ★ JENLISA - Chapter 17: Chapter 17

I was fairly aware of the situation that I was putting myself into when I kissed Lisa. I knew that she would most likely reject me, shut me out, or in other words, everything that she had been doing for the past week.
But reality was arguably worse than what I had imagined.
It's not that she was being a bitch about it, because that wasn't the problem at all. I wasn't sure what she was struggling with, but there was obviously something that she dealt with inside of her head every time she saw or spoke to me. I respected the fact that kissing her had made things difficult between us, and I knew she was struggling with the fact that she could get in trouble for both that and our living situation, but to be fair, we'd technically already done the crime and she had moved past it.
The fact that I couldn't understand what was different now that I'd kissed her again wasn't the problem either.
I really didn't want to make her uncomfortable, and especially not in her own apartment. But I had let her into my life, at least more so than I had to anyone besides Taemin and a girl I used to know in my first group home. It had been hard to talk to Lisa at first, but she'd gotten me to confess things to her that I didn't trust anyone with. Now it felt like I was losing her too, even though I had wanted this to happen and I knew that, eventually, it would. She'd been persistent in keeping me away from Charles, and now whether she liked it or not, I did trust her. I had even reluctantly told her my original last name, which was something that Taemin didn't even know.
Cate did of course, but that was because it had once been her last name as well.
So I really wasn't sure if I could just give up on fixing things between us- at least not until I left her apartment for good.
I was currently leaning against her car, which was parked by the left side of the school, away from the main parking lot. I was watching her from a distance, as she was by the side entrance with her phone pressed to her ear and her hand in her hair. She was obviously frustrated, and she looked just as exhausted as I was, but I didn't want to pry. We already weren't on good terms, I didn't need to do anything to make that worse.
After a few minutes, she seemed to end her call and lean against the brick wall, eyes closed. I sat on the curb and waited for her to start walking in my direction, which she did after a while of thinking to herself. It seemed as though my work schedule was getting more and more random every week, but I knew there was nothing Max could do about that. This was the only job I was going to get that would work out for me, so I was happy, regardless of the shitty hours that I was given.
When she had made it to the trunk of her car, I spoke up. "You okay?"
"I'm fine," Lisa answered, pulling her keys out of her bag. She looked back up in time to see me simultaneously sigh and frown, and she sighed. "Thanks."
"Yeah," I muttered, getting into her car. It had been a week or so since we kissed, and in most of our conversations since the day that Ark had been over, we were short with each other. I tried to talk to her because I was working less now and the silence that came with sitting around in her apartment was truly painful, but I never got very far.
We sat in silence for a while, before she looked over at me briefly and spoke. "It's Halloween today, you know."
I raised my eyebrow. "I know. I'm living under your roof, not under a rock."
"Damn," she muttered, looking out her window. "Are you always this sarcastic?"
"No.... my sarcasm usually makes an appearance when I'm annoyed."
"What are you annoyed ab-" she began, but let her words die in her throat when she saw the look I was giving her. She looked away, sighing, before speaking in a low voice.
"Well are you going to Zac's party with Hannah?"
"How do you..."
She rolled her eyes, making a left turn towards her apartment. "I'm not living under a rock either, you know. I taught Matty last year, and I teach both Hannah and Zac now. I know they're all good friends, and I know you talk to Hannah a lot, so I was just curious."
"Does Zac throw a party every year or something?"
"From what I can tell," she answered. I was actually really surprised we had gotten this far in our conversation, because in the last week, we had never made it this far. I figured it was only a matter of time before she realized that she 'couldn't' talk to me in such a 'friendly' way.
"How long have you been a teacher?"
She formed a thin line with her lips. "This is my second year."
I raised my eyebrows. "Really? How old are you?"
She sighed, stopping the car in front of her building. "Twenty-five. I'm going to the gym and I have to pick up cJisoo, so..." She gave me a look ushering me out of her car, but I tilted my head.
"Can I come with?"
"I take it you're not going to Zac's party."
"Jisoo invited me," I said, looking out the window. I turned back to her. "But I told her I couldn't go. Did you really expect me to?"
"No, I suppose I didn't. You really want to go to the gym with me?"
"Your apartment isn't any more entertaining."
Lisa looked at me for a while, before shrugging and stepping on the gas pedal. I spoke, "You don't do anything on Halloween?"
She stayed silent for a few moments, before shaking her head. "Not anymore."
I could tell she really didn't want to elaborate, and since she was in a better mood than usual, I decided not to ask why. I'd have the pleasure of spending tonight with her since I told Jisoo I couldn't go to her party, and I didn't want to turn her okay mood upside down.
After a few more minutes, she pulled up outside of what I assumed to be her gym and reached behind me to grab her bag. "You can sign in as a guest. But uh... I.. I know Yang works out here occasionally, so please keep your distance until I'm done, alright?"
I knew we couldn't really be seen out together in public, regardless of whether or not we were doing anything like kissing, but for some reason, her asking me to stay away still hurt a little bit. I nodded absentmindedly and she got out of her car, starting towards the building. I lingered for a few minutes, before signing in as a guest and sitting down by the water fountain. Eventually I saw Lisa come out of the locker room and start what I assumed to be her routine.
She ran around the track for half an hour while I sat and watched, occasionally looking at my phone to read through the dozens of texts from Charles that I had chosen to ignore. Eventually she moved on to use the machines, and I looked up from my phone to see her speaking with none other than Principal Yang himself. I could tell she was forcing a smile as she talked to him, but he didn't seem to notice. I was going to get up and make my way to the bathroom so I didn't run into him, but when he turned away from Lisa and started in my direction, we made eye contact.
"Oh hi Jennie," he said, nodding and wiping his forehead with a towel. "What a coincidence, I actually just ran into your favorite person."
I raised my eyebrow and tried to seem interested. "Oh? Who's that?"
"I meant to say your favorite teacher. Ring any bells now?"
"A few," I muttered, looking over his shoulder to see Lisa watching us. Her expression held worry and I tried to tell her to ease up with my own, but I wasn't sure if I succeeded.
He set a soft smile on his face. "And how's detention going?"
"Fine I guess, I'd rather it not be going. Can I ask you, when can I have my Thursdays back?"
He shrugged. "That's up to Ms. Manoban. I gave her my heavily-weighted opinion, but she gets to decide when you've done your time. I have to get going, but I'm glad I ran into you. Don't blame her too much, okay? She's just doing her job. If you're not going to put the blame on yourself for using the ID in the first place, you may as well blame me."
"I'm not blaming anyone, Mr. Yang."
"Are you sure? Because you seem to direct a bit of ill-will in Ms. Manoban's direction."
I honestly wasn't sure what he was talking about, but I just shook my head. "I don't."
He stared at me for a moment, before nodding. "Well okay. Have a good Halloween. Don't get into too much trouble."
I nodded him off, and Lisa made her way over to me a few moments after he left the gym. She raised her eyebrow. "Did he say anything to you worth mentioning?"
"No, he didn't suggest that we're sleeping together," I mumbled, sinking into the chair that I was sitting in. "I think you're safe for now."
She sighed. "Am I allowed to look out for myself, Jen?"
"Yeah," I said, standing up. "You are. He just asked me not to give you a hard time about the whole detention thing."
Lisa raised her eyebrows in response, before shaking off the initial surprise. "He's... a sweet guy."
I took in the look on her face and scrunched up my nose in distaste. "Gross."
She rolled her eyes, leading me out of the gym and to her car. "All I said was that he's sweet."
"Yeah, that's all you needed to say. You... have quite a few people interested in you, you know that?"
"Yes, unfortunately. Yang and I will never, ever, ever happen Jen. There's probably a better chance of you and I happening."
I raised my brows in a bit of shock. "There's a chance of us happening, huh?"
She looked at me, frowning. Her expression told me that she hadn't meant to say that. "No."
I sighed, not expecting her to answer in any other way, and got into her car. She stopped at the store and bought cJisoo, before pulling up outside of her building and guiding me inside. We didn't say much else after that, and though I kind of wished I had taken Jisoo up on her offer to bring me to the party, I told myself that I had done the right thing. She knew I didn't have a car, and she would have offered to pick me up, which would have been another whole ordeal. I'd probably have to lie, and I didn't want to do so any more than I had to.
At around five, Lisa came out of her bedroom in jeans and her leather jacket, and I wondered why she had changed back into clothes for going out. She tilted her head. "There's been a recent development in my plans for tonight."
"Okay?"
"How interested are you in spending tonight with an overly perky seven-year-old?"
I smirked. "Ark?"
She nodded and I saw a hint of a smile. She was actually in a pretty good mood today, and I was starting to wonder why. It was almost as if she had suddenly forgotten about our kiss a week ago and decided that we could act civilly towards one another. "Ashley really needs to get a babysitter."
"But she has one."
Lisa smiled then, letting herself chuckle. "Yeah, she has one alright."
The door bell rang and the blonde in front of me shook her head, jogging to the door. She opened it to reveal Ark in a racing suit, also wearing a helmet way too big for her tiny little head. Ashley ushered her inside quickly, squeezed her daughter's hand before speaking with Lisa, and then hastily making her way down the stairs.
Lisa smiled at Ark, picking her up. "That's your daddy's helmet, isn't it?"
Ark pulled the helmet off and put it on Lisa's head, provoking me to smile. "Yep. It looks better on you."
Lisa set her down, pulling the helmet off too and shaking her head. "I don't think so, I think it suits you perfectly. Didn't you want to be Belle for Halloween though?"
Ark put her hand on her hip. "That was last week, Aunt Lisa. We talked about this."
The blonde quirked an eyebrow and smirked, looking at me to see me smiling because of Ark's response too. I had to admit, as much as I tried to keep people out of my life, Ark had wormed her way into my heart and if anything ever happened to her, it would really take a toll on me. I knew that I would eventually have to leave Lisa's apartment and I wouldn't see either of them again, but I hoped it wouldn't affect Ark as much as it would affect me.
Lisa set her niece down, who then looked over at me and immediately grinned, running in my direction and jumping onto my chest. "Jen!"
I laughed, hugging her and making eye contact with Lisa, who stood by the counter, watching us. "Why do you act so surprised to see me? I'm here every time, Ark."
"You said you're going to move out sometime soon. I don't want that to happen."
I bit my cheek and looked at Lisa again, before pulling back from our embrace and squeezing her shoulders. "That's not for a little while. Are you going to take Aunt Lisa trick-or-treating?" I asked, smirking as I tried to steer Ark's attention away from the previous topic. She grinned, nodding.
"Yep. Right Aunt Lisa?"
Lisa rolled her eyes. "Right. We should get going."
"Can Jen come? Please?"
The blonde looked at me, and I knew she was thinking the same thing that I was. She briefly turned to her niece, who was situated in my arms. "Maybe. Go use the bathroom real quick before we go, okay?"
Ark nodded and scurried off, and Lisa started in my direction, sitting down on the coffee table in front of me. "Do you want to go?"
"Aren't you worried about someone seeing us together?"
She sighed. "Yes, I am, but you shouldn't have to sit here and do nothing all night. You can... wear a mask or something?"
"That's a great suggestion. Well I did tell you I was a good magician. Here, let me just pull one out of my magic hat-"
She rolled her eyes, cutting me off and standing up. "I think I might have a few. No need to resurface the sarcasm."
"It has a mind of its own," I joked, and she just shook her head and disappeared into her bedroom. Ark came back out of the bedroom and started rambling about her friend April, and I listened until Lisa returned holding a few masks.
"Why do you have these?"
"They're one of my friend's. I think she brought them over a few Halloweens ago."
I nodded, grabbing the thin purple masquerade mask and putting it over my face. I looked at Ark, grinning. "How do I look?"
"Not scary," she responded, sticking out her tongue and grabbing her bag, scurrying off towards the door.
I smiled, watching Lisa as she picked up her niece's helmet and nodded me toward the front door. She locked it behind her and started down the stairs, but my voice stopped her.
"You're not going to go to the rest of the apartments in this building?"
Lisa plastered a sly smile on her face. "It's probably best if we don't."
I raised my eyebrow. "Okay, why?"
She ushered Ark down the stairs, briefly turning back to me. "I don't think my neighbors have very nice opinions of me. I used to be a... very loud neighbor."
I took in her statement and almost immediately gave her an odd look. "Oh?"
Her expression held confusion until she realized how I had interpreted her comment, and she rolled her eyes and lightly punched my shoulder. "Jesus Jen, not like that. My friends, they used to get loud. When they came over." She shook her head. "It's really hard to have an appropriate conversation with you, do you know that?"
"I wonder why that is," I murmured, following her down the steps and out of the door. There were a few people on the sidewalk, but there weren't many houses around here. Lisa nodded her head in the direction of the school and ushered Ark forward.
"I hope you're up for walking."
I shrugged. "I don't mind."
Ark saw a few other people, running forward and looking back at us. "Come on slowpokes! All the cJisoo is gunna be gone!"
Lisa rolled her eyes and quickened her pace. We walked for a while until we made it to the development near our school and started our walk around. Lisa and I stood on the sidewalk as Ark scurried up to the door at each house, and even if we were just walking together, I was still enjoying myself. I greatly preferred this version of Lisa, because her company was enjoyable even if we weren't really doing anything or talking very much.
I spoke after a while, "You know, I've never gone trick-or-treating before."
"You haven't?"
"I haven't done a lot of things."
Lisa looked over at me, placing her hands on Ark's shoulders and guiding her forward. "That I probably could've guessed, but none of your foster parents let you go out for the holiday?"
Ark ran off to another house and I shrugged. "Well most of my foster parents didn't have any other kids and I just didn't want to go out by myself, especially not when I was that young. I was supposed to go one Halloween with my foster-brother and sister, but uh, I kind of fucked that up. And in the group homes... we just stayed inside and scared the shit out of each other."
She tilted her head, responding, "Scared the shit out of each other in a good or bad way?"
"I guess it depends on who you're talking to. I usually stayed in my bedroom; it was impossible to scare me."
She quirked an eyebrow. "Don't scare easily?"
I shook my head. "I don't scare, at all. The girls in my last group home just gave up trying."
"I doubt that's true, everyone has a weakness. You're bound to be scared by something."
"Charles's face, maybe?" I offered, joking. She narrowed her eyes and I gave her a different answer. "Seriously, you wouldn't be able to scare me if you tried."
She smirked. "I'll keep that in mind. I don't know if you know, but I like a good challenge."
"Even when the challenge is impossible?"
"We'll see," she answered. When Ark scurried back, we walked in silence until we reached the next house. Lisa was the one to speak up first.
"You said you haven't done a lot of things?"
I lifted my eyebrow. "Yeah?"
"Like what?"
I thought about her question for a moment, before shaking my head and readjusting the mask I was wearing. "Like, everything. My life has consisted of going to school, drawing, and moving around this shitty town and a few others. There hasn't been very much room for adventure."
She stayed silent for a while, before speaking up again. "Tell me something you'd really like to do, but haven't gotten the chance."
I tried to think about it, but even though I literally hadn't been anywhere or done much of anything, I couldn't think of anything on the spot like that. After a few moments, I was able to answer her. "Go to the beach?"
Lisa stared at me for a while, seeming to be figuring something out in her head. She nodded, "What else?"
"I've always wanted to go to an amusement park. Or, a carnival or something. And I'd really love to go ice-skating.... and bowling, and as stupid as it sounds, you have no idea how much I've always wanted to jump on a trampoline. Oh, and I'd love to go to a concert someday--"
Lisa chuckled a little bit, stopping me. "Okay, okay, it sounds like you've got a pretty big bucket list." She paused and smirked. "Jumping on a trampoline is really at the top of it?"
I smiled, nudging her shoulder. "Don't judge me, they look like fun. One of the foster homes I was in when I was ten had a trampoline, but it was broken. I cannot express to you how frustrated it made me."
She smiled back, chuckling. "Oh no, I can imagine."
I narrowed my eyes. "You're totally judging me right now."
She held her hands up. "I am not! I had my first experience on a trampoline when I was eight. It was truly eye-opening."
"Alright, where's Ark? I'm ready to go back."
She smiled slightly and placed her hand on my shoulder, stopping me and making my heart jump. "I'm just kidding Jen. I think I might be able to help you check that off your list."
"Yeah? Is there one in the backyard that you don't have?"
She laughed lightly. "No, I do not have a trampoline. But... the night is still young."
I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, okay."
Ark scurried back from the house she was at and thrusted her bag in my direction, smiling widely. "Look Jen! Look!"
I laughed, looking at Lisa to see her smiling as well before turning back to her niece. "I see it. Are you going to share any of that with me?"
She immediately pulled her bag back but gave me a sly smile. "Maybe a few pieces..."
Lisa stepped forward, placing her hands on Ark's shoulders. "Alright kiddo, let's get the last few houses and head back. It's almost your bedtime."
"It is not! I'm not tired!"
"Of course you're not, you're hopped up on fifty ounces of sugar. That doesn't change anything Ark, you know mommy wants you in bed."
Ark groaned and mumbled, "You're no fun."
Lisa tilted her head and stayed quiet for a few moments, before sighing. "Maybe if you're good I'll let you stay up for another hour."
Ark's grin widened triumphantly, and she turned to me. "Will you come with me for the last houses?"
I looked at Lisa, who only seemed to encourage it, and I nodded. Ark grinned and dragged me off, leaving Lisa to walk along the sidewalk and smile at us. Honestly, I was still really confused where this side of her had come from, but I didn't want to question it just yet.
Though I knew I probably would eventually.
I let myself enjoy having Ark talk my ear off, and after ringing the doorbells of the last few houses, we started walking back. Ark jumped on my back at sometime during the walk, but I didn't mind.
And as we reached Lisa's apartment building and I started up the stairs with Ark's arms wrapped around my neck and Lisa following close behind, I realized that I was happy.
I was really happy.
And I knew the genuine smile on my face showed that.
After realizing Ark had probably had enough cJisoo, Lisa took her bag and placed it on the counter. Somehow Ark had convinced her aunt to let her stay up longer and when I sat down on the couch, Ark joined me and took it upon herself to lie on my chest and wrap her arms around my neck.
"Ark--" Lisa started, but I stopped her.
I shook my head, whispering, "She's fine."
Lisa nodded and sat down next to me, and we stayed relatively quiet as Ark drifted to sleep in my arms and the TV played in the background. I tightened my grasp on her and stood up from the couch, catching Lisa's attention.
"Do you need me to--?"
I shook my head, "I got it, if that's okay."
Lisa just nodded her head and sunk back into the couch, watching me carry Ark into her bedroom. We were both still using the couch so I set her down on the bed and pulled the sheets over her, smiling slightly before exiting the room and sitting back down next to Lisa. We stayed quiet for a while, before she spoke up.
"You're really good with her."
I looked over at her. "She's pretty easy to get along with. I mean, I can see how she could be a handful at times, but it's... it's so nice to be around someone like her, you know? Kids like her make me forget about the bad people in this world.. like.. Charles."
Lisa smiled slightly. "She's a good kid, and she... really likes you. She likes everybody, for the most part, but with you.. it's just different... I don't know how to explain it."
"You don't have to," I answered. "It's going to really suck when I find my own place."
She tossed me an odd look, and then seemed to come to terms with something. "Oh... shit.."
"What'd you forget that I won't be here forever?"
She stared at me for a while, unable to answer, before shaking her head. "No... of course I knew that, I just didn't think about how it would affect Ark."
I sighed and looked away, running my fingers through my hair. We sat in silence, but then she spoke, seeming really unsure about what she was saying. "You know... uh, when you... find your own place, you don't have to... I mean, you could still see Ark..."
I raised my eyebrows. "That would require us actually associating with each other after I move out."
Lisa sighed, looking down at me. "Jen... Ark really cares about you. And... I care about you too, a lot, I just can't care about you like that--"
"I know Lisa, you're my teacher and an adult, and I'm a teenager. I get it."
She shook her head. "It's not even that... but it's.." She sighed. "Never mind, I don't think you'd be able to understand. Listen, I think we... could be friends. Maybe?"
I lifted my brow. "You want to be friends? Up until tonight you were barely even talking to me. What happened to that?"
"I'm sorry, I needed to figure things out and it was really difficult for me to do that with you constantly being you--"
"What the hell does that even mean?"
She sighed. "I don't know.. and I still haven't figured things out, at all, but you don't deserve to be ignored. You're right, it is just as much my fault that we've kissed multiple times as it is yours, and I didn't mean to make it seem like I was blaming you for doing something bad. But it shouldn't have happened, and it can't happen again. That doesn't mean we can't be friends."
I wanted to say that I didn't want to be her friend, because I really, really didn't. She frustrated me more often than not, but aside from Ark, she was the only one who could genuinely make me smile, and I had a hard time overlooking that.
I had a hard time accepting the 'just friends' thing, even though I knew we could never be in a real relationship.
But I tried, because she was asking me to.
"Okay," I said, smirking slightly. "I guess you can be my friend."
She smiled and laughed a little bit, scrolling through the channels on the TV. "Thanks, it's a real pleasure. What do you want to watch?"
I shrugged. "Horror movie? I heard that one that just came out on DVD a while ago was really bad, we should watch that one."
She looked at me, shooting me a puzzled look. "You know what you just said, right? It's bad, but we should watch it?"
I smirked, grabbing the remote. "That's what you do when you can't be scared, you watch the ones with horrible scripts and laugh."
She quirked an eyebrow, "Is that so? Well I have a better idea." She took the remote back and scrolled down to a movie that I personally thought looked really bad, but she was hell-bent on scaring me now. "How's this one?"
I just shook my head. "Whatever you want. It's not going to scare me."
She shrugged. "We'll see."
The next hour and a half passed relatively quickly. The movie didn't phase me but it seemed to scare the living shit out of the blonde next to me, because she had moved over a cushion, whether consciously or not, and was now leaning against me. I had mostly kept my eyes on her during the movie, not just because I thought it was boring, but because I honestly loved how the woman next to me could keep her shit together so well but lose it all the second a bad actor screamed on television.
Eventually the credits started rolling and I saw that her eyes were glued to the screen. I smirked, reaching over and placing my hands on her shoulder. "Boo."
She jumped and I started laughing, prompting her to glare at me and pout. I didn't think I'd ever live to see the day that the woman next to me pouted. She sunk into the couch, crossing her arms. "You suck. How did that not affect you at all?"
I smirked and shrugged. "It wasn't scary Lisa, you're just a wimp."
"You're just a strange person."
"I know."
She eyed me for a while before returning her gaze to the TV, choosing to put on a romantic comedy this time. It was late but I surprisingly wasn't tired. It seemed to be a different story for the blonde leaning against me though, because when I looked over at her about half way through the movie, her eyes were closed and her breathing was shallow. I let myself continue watching the movie, until I felt her head resting on my shoulder.
I sighed, watching her as she rested peacefully next to me, using my body for support. I couldn't control the rate at which my heart was beating, but eventually it calmed down, because it didn't seem like Lisa was waking up or going anywhere anytime soon. I tried to keep my eyes off of her, but I couldn't look away for some reason.
I knew the reason. She was beautiful, she listened, and even though she had an odd way of showing it, I really believed that she cared.
And she wanted to stay friends?
****
I slept okay that night. When I woke up, it wasn't because bad images were filling my head, but simply because I'd had enough sleep. It was really early, and I shifted slightly to see that Lisa's head was still on my shoulder, her legs resting on the coffee table. I didn't want to wake her but I also didn't want to sit here with her head on my shoulder, pretending that it didn't make my heart jump in a way that a friend's probably shouldn't.
I leaned into the couch and dozed off, until I felt Lisa's head lift from my shoulder and she looked at me. "Oh.. shit I'm sorry."
I shrugged. "It's fine."
She sat up, rubbing her eyes. "What time is it?"
"Seven," I answered. Lisa nodded and stood up, walking to the kitchen to start brewing coffee. I spoke, "I have to work today."
"Okay, I can take you whenever."
I nodded and stood up too, rummaging through my bag for clothes. Lisa's voice made my head turn. "Can I ask you something?"
"Uh, yeah. What's up?"
"Do you... have a lot saved up? You know, for when you can rent an apartment or something along those lines."
I frowned slightly, shaking my head. "Not enough to live off of, no, but I'm sure I'll figure something out. I'll have a lot more by then, and I'll hopefully still have my job."
Lisa frowned too but nodded, fixing her coffee before heading into her bedroom. I guessed today would be pretty relaxed after the afternoon we'd spent yesterday, even if I had to work today. I spent an hour or so finishing Taemin's drawing, before entering Lisa's bedroom to see Ark still sleeping soundly, Lisa typing on her laptop next to her niece.
She made eye contact with me and let the corners of her mouth twitch upwards as I headed into the bathroom to take a shower. I still wasn't used to Lisa being so... content, but it admittedly made me happy that she didn't seem as closed off or hard to talk to as she had the previous week, or even as she had since I met her. I showered and got dressed, exiting the bathroom to find Lisa sitting on the edge of the bed, dressed in dark jeans and a sweater.
She looked up and saw me lingering in the door way of her bathroom. She looked at Ark before whispering, "Ashley needs me to drop case files off at the courthouse... but Ark's still sleeping and I don't want to wake her up. Do you think you could look after her for me until I get back?"
I was a little surprised that she was willing to leave Ark with me while she left her apartment, but I nodded anyway. "Sure. I don't mind. But I have to work-"
"I'll be back before then, don't worry," she said. "Thank you."
She stood and I sat down on the edge of the bed, in front of Ark's feet. "Ashley really relies on you, huh?"
Lisa shrugged. "Yeah, I guess so. That's what sisters are for though, aren't they?"
I tried not to let my smile falter, and I just nodded. I felt my heart sinking and I looked down, trying not to let my mood shift to the shitty state that I knew it could get to, but I was having trouble. I hardly knew my sister, but it didn't matter. I still missed her every day of my life.
Despite my efforts, Lisa sat down on the bed next to me and looked at me worriedly. "Hey, is everything alright?"
I slid away from her, nodding. "Yeah, of course. Just thinking. You should get Ashley those case files."
She looked at me doubtfully but I knew she was on a time crunch because she stood up anyway and grabbed her jacket. "I should... if she wakes up before I get back, just give her breakfast and let her play with her toys. And if the doorbell rings, you can just text me."
"Okay."
And with that, she all but ran out of the room and I heard the front door closing behind her. I lied next to Ark for a while, occupying myself with my phone, before I felt her body shifting on the bed and she flipped over to see me.
A grin immediately plastered across her face. "Jen!"
I laughed as she hugged me. "Is that how you're going to greet me every time you see me?"
She smiled. "Yep. Where's Aunt Lisa?"
"She had to run out, to help your mom with something. It's just the two of us."
Ark sat up, grabbing my hand and all but shoving me off the bed. "Come on! We have to eat the cJisoo before Aunt Lisa gets back!"
I laughed, slowing her and picking her up, carrying her to the kitchen. "I hate to disappoint, but I told your aunt I'd make you breakfast. What do you want to eat?"
"CJisoo-"
"Real breakfast."
Ark sighed. "Pancakes?"
I nodded, and since I'd watched Lisa cooking way too many times, I knew where everything was. I started away, watching Ark as she tapped her fingers against the counter and watched me. We ate and I listened to her talk about school, before she dragged me off to play with her toys. I was paying close attention to the clock because I didn't want to be late for work, but I still had a few hours and Lisa had promised me that she'd be back by then.
I sat with her for a while, but as enjoyable as she was to be around, I was admittedly growing a little antsy. I got ready to stand up, that was, before she grabbed her half-full bag of toys and dumped it out in front of me, smiling. "Can you help me find my Legos?"
She actually had a ridiculous amount of toys, and she wasn't even in her own house. I couldn't even imagine how many she actually owned, if this was her spare set. I nodded, shuffling through the pile for a while until I picked up rectangular box, opening it to see what was inside. It was a gold necklace, but it looked expensive, and I didn't know what business it had being in a seven-year-old's bag of toys.
"What's this?"
Ark looked up, taking the box and smiling. "A necklace? Grandma gave it to me before she went to heaven."
My eyes snapped up to meet hers. "Your grandma... went to heaven?"
She nodded, focusing on her toys. "Yep. Daddy said her room was ready up there and that I'll see her when mine's ready. Mommy doesn't talk about her much anymore. I think it makes Aunt Lisa upset. That's when she started acting weird."
I sat back against the table, taking in what Ark was telling me. Lisa's mom passed away? Lisa was only twenty five, it couldn't have been because of old age, right?
"How come your necklace is here instead of at home?"
Ark looked up again, taking one of the doll's that she'd dumped out of the bag and handing it to me along with the necklace. "Because Grandma said that the necklace should go on me or on Catherine."
"Catherine?"
She pointed to the doll I was holding, and I nodded. "Catherine stays at Aunt Lisa's apartment."
I just nodded, zoning out. The news was a little surprising to me, but then again, it really wasn't any of my business. I didn't tell Lisa about my parents, why would she tell me about her mom?
After about thirty minutes of thinking to myself, I heard the front door opening and Lisa walked in, shrugging off her jacket. She saw Ark and I sitting on the floor and smiled, walking over to lean on the doorframe of her bedroom door. "Having fun, Ark?"
"Yeah! Jen's playing with me," she answered, turning back to her toys. Lisa nodded her head in the direction of her bedroom, silently asking me to follow her. I did so, still a little shaken up about what Ark had told me, but I tried to set it aside for now.
"Was she okay for you?"
I sat on the edge of her bed as she shuffled through her dresser. "Yeah, she was good."
"Good. Ashley asked me to thank you, for taking care of her."
I just nodded, staying silent as I watched her organize her drawers. She looked back at me. "Are you okay? You seem off."
"Yeah... just have a lot on my mind..."
"Like what?"
I wanted to respect her privacy, I did, but I was curious and I wanted her to talk to me. I really felt like I'd told her enough about me that she could open up a little bit, even if she didn't know about my parents.
And I had a really hard time controlling the words that came out of my mouth.
"Is... your mom's.... passing.. the reason you're so closed off?"
Her eyes snapped to mine. "What?"
I looked up, catching her eyes and biting my cheek. I'd obviously struck a nerve, and I knew I shouldn't have said anything but I couldn't help myself. I knew what dealing with a death was like, and I thought maybe talking about it might have helped.
She had helped me, hadn't she?
I shook my head, not managing to force anything out of my mouth. She stared at me for a while, before clenching her jaw and pointing to the door.
"Get out of my bedroom."
I shook my head, "Lisa..."
"Jen," she stopped me, breathing heavily. "I need you to leave."
I lowered my eyes and stood up, walking to her door and looking back briefly. Her eyes were hardened and expression was stone, so I turned and closed the door behind me. Ark took notice of my frazzled state and questioned me. "Are you okay Jen?"
"Uh, yeah.. I'm okay."
"Is Aunt Lisa?"
That was a question I wanted to know the answer to myself. But I didn't. So I answered her honestly.
"I really don't know