Don't Stand By Me (COMPLETE) - Chapter 27: Chapter 27

August 5th: 11.14
Elvis
I scowled at the minimal selection of hair care products in front of me, cursing Brent for using the last of my premium shampoo. That shit had not been cheap and I didn't appreciate him scooping the last of it with his ape hands and slathering it in his dumb hair. It was nice to know he at least practised personal hygiene in his free time. I held Strawberry Bliss and Coconut Dream in my hands and gave each of them a cautionary sniff.
"Coconut Dream. The RV could do without smelling like Strawberry Shortcake."
I glowered at the sound of Violet's voice behind me but upon a further sniff I realised she was right. If there was one thing I could always count on Violet for it was blunt honesty. Putting the loser back on the shelf, I shoved the other one into the basket hanging from the crook of my elbow and continued my slow stroll through the shelves, tossing in things of interest. I noted the lime body wash Kiara was currently fixated on and threw in a bottle to be safe.
"Are you really that mad at me?"
"I don't know what you're talking about." I said simply, keeping my gaze on the shelf as I found underwear and socks, putting in multiple packets.
"You haven't looked at me once, El."
As much as it pained me to prove her point, I was still feeling petty and hurt, so I refused to turn to face her, instead leaving the aisle and Violet behind. My list was all but completed. I was now letting my empty stomach guide me throughout the store, tossing in way too many snack foods that we definitely did not need.
Clearly having enough of my aloofness, Violet appeared in front of me, arms folded and glaring at me in a way that was reminiscent of the day we first met. The animosity I had felt towards her that day seemed to be alive and well, flaring up as it did when she decided to be a bitch.
"What's your problem? I told you I forgave you, I thought we were good?"
My nostrils flared as I struggled to keep my composure and not scream at her in the middle of a small town grocery store, "Did you ever think that maybe I don't forgive you?"
"What?"
It was in that moment I realised she didn't have a fucking clue, that she didn't think of me with that much respect to realise that a half assed apology and a promise to do better to the group as a whole wasn't enough for me, one of her best friends. She was so wrapped up in herself that she didn't see me glowering at her as she apologised, didn't feel me stiffen as she curled up next to me on the couch, her head resting on my shoulder. Because it was the Violet show.
Refusing to indulge her any longer, I rushed to the checkout, slamming the basket onto the conveyor belt and laying out all of my purchases. I gave the cashier a strained smile and a curt nod as she rang me up. I felt Violet by my side, packing things into bags and swiping her credit card before I had a chance to pull out my wallet. I didn't say a word to her, simply grabbing the bags, thanking the cashier and exiting the store, Violet trailing awkwardly behind me.
"El!" She snapped once we were outside, grabbing my elbow and yanking me to a complete stop, "Christ, will you just talk to me?"
"That's fucking rich." I scoffed.
"I don't understand what I've done to you, El."
"That's the problem, Vi. You are so caught up in you and yourself that you've become completely selfish and self-centred."
"I apologised! I thought we were okay?"
"You gave a general apology to the entire room. You didn't speak to me once. You haven't, for most of this trip. You've been caught up, and I get that, we all have. But you've left me behind. You've been a shit friend."
"I've been a shit friend?" She snapped, digging a nailed finger into my chest to emphasise her words, "How about the fact that you hid that my boyfriend cheated on me?"
"Jesus Christ, Vi. He hit on another girl, it's not like he stuck his dick in her!"
"You're a fucking bitch, Elvis." She said coldly, "You always have been. But I thought you had more heart than that, especially towards me."
"I'm hurt. This entire trip you've shut me out, only caring about whatever guy you're running after and Kiara! Never me!"
"Is that what this is about? You feel left out?"
That stung. Of course it was that, but it wasn't only that. It was that she had been cold and distant and mean and aggravating and - okay maybe I really did feel left out. There was also a lot of resentment that may not have been fair to put on her - I wanted to feel close to her before I left for France, to enjoy the last days we had together before I left. Even though she didn't have a clue that I was actually leaving.
"I just...we haven't been us since we got here. I miss you."
"Oh El." Her lower lip quivered as she stared at me wide-eyed, "I didn't...I didn't think."
"You didn't...that's the problem."
She looked at me like a deer caught in the headlights, eyes shining with tears before she clenched her fists and nodded, steeling herself.
"I am so sorry...I owe you a hell of a lot more than an apology. I know that I've been a bitch..to everyone really. But I didn't realise just how bad I'd been to you until now. I've been so wrapped up in the fear of getting caught and the Fitz of it all. So, I am sorry, but this isn't an apology."
I frowned, "No?"
"No, I want to give you more than that. So I just want you to know that I am going to fix things."
"Okay." I said simply, giving her an awkward smile, "I'm looking forward to seeing you try."
"Great." She beamed, "I love you, El."
"I love you too, Barbie." I nodded. I wasn't entirely satisfied but I knew I was partially being unreasonable, so I took it in my stride and decided to see how things would go.
"You know what we need right now?"
"...Shopping spree?"
"Duh!" She squealed, squeezing my forearm and using it to propel me down the street and towards the small storefront she had set her sights on.
There wasn't much variety of stores in this small town by the looks of things, but Violet didn't pay it any mind. She practically danced through the tiny store, holding up dresses against her body contemplatively before nodding to herself and tossing them into the basket I was carrying. Every so often she would find something she deemed good enough for me and tossed it in alongside them.
"This tie would bring out your eyes." Violet said quietly, almost to herself as she held it out in front of me, eyes darting between me and the tie before nodding and adding it to the overflowing basket.
"Vi...when have you ever seen me wear a tie?"
"You'll need one for your wedding." She smirked, smoothing down the collar of my shirt and patting my chest, "Won't be long out."
"Haha." I replied dryly, rolling my eyes, "But seriously, you don't need to buy me things because you feel bad."
"I'm not...I just...this is what I do, okay? Just let me have my process."
"Alright. Thank you."
"You're welcome." She beamed, tossing a pair of pumps into the basket, "We need a second basket."
"You think?"
–
It was like a ball and chain attached to my ankle as we rehooked the car to the RV, my eyes trained on the trunk as I imagined Charles sprawled inside, lifeless and floppy like a ragdoll. My lighthearted energy from earlier had dimmed and I wanted nothing more than to scream into a pillow and call it a night. It had been simple enough to feign tiredness and retire to the bunk beds, safe behind the privacy curtain. Kiara and Violet were deep in conversation at the wheel while Pearl and Cassie were still attempting to do karaoke with only their phones blaring the music.
I curled into the bottom bunk and sprawled my limbs across the bedspread, exhaling deeply. I shut my eyes and simply lay there as time flitted past me but I didn't fall asleep, content to lie and bask in the muffled sounds from a few feet away.
"Hey..." A soft voice broke through, "Want some company?"
I pried one eye open to see Dixon standing at the foot of the bed, wringing his hands in front of his body and giving me an awkward smile. I wordlessly lifted the quilt cover beside me and scooted over to make space. He practically leapt into the bed, winding his limbs around mine and burrowing his face into my chest. Normally I would feel annoyed, with my personal space and quiet time being interrupted but there was something about this moment that felt special. I stayed silent, the moment feeling delicate and the thought of speaking up and ruining it made the ever-present weight return to my chest.
We lay in silence, Dixon's hand rubbing up and down my back in a soothing rhythm, his errant curls tickling my nose gently. My senses were invaded by the smell of warmth and something akin to burning embers mixed with -
"Have you been using my shampoo?"
Dixon stiffened in my grasp, "Um...no comment?"
I smirked although he wasn't able to see and I planted a kiss in his hair, humming contentedly as I did.
"Are you okay?" He said softly, pulling his head back to look into my eyes, "You seem...down."
"I'm just exhausted. I think it's all hitting me at once, you know?"
He nodded sagely, because of course he somehow understood. The kindest, most empathetic man I had ever met was gazing at me wide-eyed. There was a part of me, deep down, that was terrified of Dixon, of the power he already had over me. He was so sweet and kind and unbroken and I feared that I would be the one to break this poor man. It was what I did.
As if sensing the torment in my mind, his brow furrowed and his hand reached out to cup my cheek, stroking it gently with the pad of his thumb. I pecked his thumb as it reached the corner of my mouth and his brow smoothened out, his beam returning as he leaned in and kissed me softly. I closed my eyes and let the waves of peace wash over me as he kissed me; it was simply that - a kiss. There was no rush or expectations from it, simply the feeling of his lips on mine. His lips were firm and dry and warm and my head spun from all of my senses being completely enthralled with him.
I pulled back, gasping, "I...I'm tired. Is that okay?"
He frowned, "Why wouldn't that be okay?"
"Because we won't...you know..."
"Have sex?" He asked bluntly, his frown deepening.
He propped himself up on his elbow, staring down at me intently as if studying me. I squirmed under his intense scrutiny, unsure of what exactly he was searching for. I nodded stiffly, afraid of whatever he was going to say next.
"El..." His tone was almost hurt, his eyes wide as if I had just kicked a puppy, "You know this isn't just about sex...right?"
There it was. The air whooshed out of my chest as if he had suckerpunched me in the gut and I could do little more than gape at him like a fish out of water, my mouth opening and shutting as I struggled to voice the internal mania I had going on.
"Oh El...I am so sorry if I gave you that impression. Unless..that's not what you want, is it?"
"No!" I blurted out, my hands reaching out until one made purchase with his forearm, pleading with my eyes for him to believe me, "Not at all."
"Phew!" He said, pretending to wipe his brow with his free hand, "You had me scared for a minute. I'm not a floozy, you know?"
"Floozy's don't tend to use that term." I smiled, shaking my head.
"No, I believe whore was the word that was mentioned."
I pursed my lips as he stared at me with amusement, "I'm guessing the girls may have mentioned my...sordid past."
"Briefly. You know I don't care about that, right? I just care about us, here and now."
"Good." I smiled, "Me too."
"Good."
We smiled at each other like idiots for another few moments until Dixon flopped back down onto the bed, curling back into my chest and nuzzling until he was practically under my skin, wrapping his arms around my waist.
"Goodnight, El."
And so we simply slept, with no other preamble, wrapped in each other's arms.