Evermore - Chapter 21: Chapter 21

-Natalie's POV-
Diana holds her towel over her chest as I hold the back of her thigh with my hand and press the cloth to the wound with the other.
She wanted to go to sleep when we came home from the funeral, I told her I had to clean her wounds and she ended up wanting to have a shower in the end.
She did end up staying a little while longer at the church after the funeral, she sat up the front for awhile by the coffin, I watched her because my eyes forced me to but I stayed near the back.
"That hurts." She says before pushing my hand away, I give her a second then press the cloth against her skin again.
"Stop, that fucking hurts!" She shoves me by my shoulder, I throw the cloth into the sink as I step away from her, the anger boiling in my own stomach suddenly.
"You're being rough." She says quietly and I laugh. I put the back of my hand to my mouth as the other goes to my hip.
"You're being a baby, would you rather let it get infected and you will be in more pain?" I question looking at her, she glares back at me. I scoff in response to it.
"Stop giving me that fucking look, I get you are grieving but the look you are giving me is not what I deserve and you know it!" I raise my voice at her, the anger taking control. I don't mean for it to but the way she has been acting towards me is more than I can take while trying to be calm.
I am just trying to help.
"Don't hurt me then."
"Have you lost a few brain cells, Diana? Seriously? I am fucking cleaning a wound you cannot expect it to feel good!" I raise my voice again and she rolls her eyes. I Shake my head stepping away.
"You're being rude." She mumbles.
"You have shoved me twice today and told me to fuck off, you have not told me you loved me—only once in a whisper that was fucking forced!" I slam my hand down on the counter, it may be dramatic of me but I am exhausted, neither of us have slept. She can't sleep for obvious reasons and I can't sleep knowing that she's awake.
"This what you're angry about? Me not saying I love you?" She questions and I drop my head before rubbing my temple.
"I am angry because you are treating me like you don't. You are acting like I am your enemy, I get that you are going through so much, I do...but don't turn against me." I tell her looking up at her, she holds eye contact with me and I see her eyes becoming watery before she looks away.
"Well...I would leave if I had somewhere to go." She says, not in her usual voice, it's much more cruel like she wants her words to hurt me.
"Kick me out if you want." She shrugs, she dips her finger into the Vaseline before putting it on her thigh acting like she has not said anything. She is capable of cleaning it herself.
"Just because you are acting like a brat won't change the fact that I care. I would never throw you out, I am just beginning to question if it was your name on this house if you would do the same." I say, she ignores me and I hum.
"I'll sleep in the guest bedroom, you're closer to the bathroom here, I don't want you limping across the hall and falling because I certainly won't be helping you up.." I say before walking out of the bathroom. I take a breath before walking to the closet, I step inside grabbing my pyjamas before shutting the door.
I walk across the room before walking out, I go to shut the door before dropping my head against it as my hand rests at the door handle.
Fuck sake.
"I love you, goodnight." I say loud enough for her to hear before I shut the door. I stay still for a second, waiting for a response but not wanting her to know I am expecting one.
I nod my head to myself as the house stays silent, I turn around walking down the hall. I push open the guest bedroom door, I sigh flipping on the light brightening up the dark room.
The walls are a light grey in here, it's a medium sized room I would say, the window is right across from the door with white curtains.
The double bed is to the left, it's a darker grey double bed, there's a white night stand beside it along with a little light attached to the wall really for if someone was reading.
I shut the door before slipping out of my clothes before into my dark blue cotton pyjamas, the shirt is long sleeves and half of it buttons up, the shorts are a bit..short but it doesn't bother me.
I look around before grabbing my pants off the floor and getting my phone out. I see a missed call from Carson so I send a message asking what's up.
I turn around opening the door again before going to leave the bedroom, I stop quickly jumping back as I almost step on a certain kitten who meows as she looks up at me.
"You are going to get crushed one of these days, Dorothea." I bend down, picking her up before I walk over to the staircase making my way downstairs.
I jump at the door bell ringing, I walk over to the door, I unlock it before opening it slightly.
"I can't do it, Natalie!" Maria pushes the door open stepping inside as she begins crying, I look outside to Tatum running up the driveway.
"Wha—"
"You're being dramatic, Maria!" Tatum steps inside buttoning up her shirt, I scoff shutting the door as she steps past me following Maria into the kitchen.
"No I'm not!" Maria shouts, I follow them both, crossing my arms. I thought Maria was crying about Charlie...but clearly it's something else.
"Yes you are! You always start shit over nothing." Tatum says and my hand goes to my temple at the raised voices.
"Indoor voices, please." I sigh dropping my hand as I walk over to the cupboard getting out a glass as they keep going back and forth ignoring what I said.
I grab the bottle of gin opening it as one of them slams their hand down the counter, I can't tell as I'm faced away. I glance over my shoulder seeing Maria's hands set down on the island as she yells about Tatum being a liar...
I shut the bottle before picking my glass up and turning around.
"I swear—"
"Shut up, the both of you. What has happened?" I cut Tatum off, they both go to speak and I take a sip of the drink in my hand before setting it down.
"Maria first." I speak calmly, trying to quiet the voices down a little.
"She told me she wanted to get serious—she told me—"
"I meant it—"
"Shut your mouth a second, it's not your turn." I glance to Tatum and she shuts up after a scoff. I look back to Maria nodding for her to go on.
"She said she only cared about me, that there's nobody else. She told me she stopped seeing people—there was hickeys last week and I knew they weren't from me and she lied about it! She convinced me that I had done them! Then the constant phone checking, not answering me some nights or coming over already looking a mess or drunk—there's pictures on her phone from a girl called Liv. She is constantly lying to me!" Maria shouts and Tatum rolls her eyes. I nod glancing to Tatum again.
"Speak, Maria keep quiet and then you can talk again when she's finished." I sigh.
"The hickeys were from her so I don't know what she's talking about." Tatum shrugs, her hands going to her pockets. I keep looking at her and she glances to me.
"What?" She asks and Maria scoffs now.
"That's all? What about Liv, who's she?" I question. It better not be who I think it is.
"Just a woman." I see her glancing to me before away quickly. God dammit, Tatum.
"Just a woman? You sent her messages about how much you wanted her—"
"Alright, I don't need all those details....I don't get why you two came here, what am I supposed to do now?" I look at them both picking up my glass.
"You're supposed to help us?" Tatum questions.
"You're a whore, Tatum." Maria says and Tatum walks around the counter to her, I watch Maria backing away quickly.
I furrow my eyebrows putting my glass back down slowly.
"What did—"
"You're a fucking whore, is what I said." Maria says.
Tatum slaps her. She slaps her across the fucking face. I walk over in a hurry as Maria falls back, I shove Tatum back looking at her as she falls back a few steps.
"Have you lost your fucking mind?" I question and she glares at me.
"Don't give me that fucking look. Do not fucking hit her, Tatum!" I push her again and she slaps my arm away.
I look at her for a long second, she glances to me before her eyes leave mine again. I step closer to her.
"Do not come into my house, dumping your problems on me and then have the audacity to lay a hand on me! Sort this fucking shit yourselves, you are a whore, she told you the fucking truth!" I yell shoving her back again and she scoffs.
"And what the fuck are you?" She glances to me.
"What am I? What? You think I'm a whore? I don't go around fucking married women, I don't cheat and I certainly don't abuse my girlfriend. You're not just a whore, Tatum, you are a terrible person." I laugh causing her to roll her eyes.
"You're just weak, Natalie, following Diana around like a lost puppy. She could do better, I mean look—"
I cut her off with a slap, I don't necessarily mean to but my body takes control and I slap her hard across the face like she did to Maria.
"Do you want to keep going with what you were saying, you piece of shit?" I ask, searching her eyes as the anger continues to build in my stomach.
"...I'm going up to Diana." Maria scoffs before leaving the kitchen. Tatum's hand goes to her face, she looks at me before looking away but I keep looking at her while she keeps avoiding my eye.
"I defend your name, I have since we were kids, I solve all of your problems since you clearly fucking can't. I stay by you every time you treat me like shit because I keep thinking you can change. But you can't, you're a lost case, Tatum. You fuck women but run away because you're really just insecure—"
"Go fuck yourself." She says, she goes to walk but I shake my head pushing her back.
"I'm not weak either. I know damn well what you are like, I pity you, I really do. You're only confidence comes from women chasing you but they all stop eventually. Nobody stays, no fucking wonder." I laugh and she glares at the floor, her lips twitching. I've hit a weak spot.
"Who's weak now? Are you crying?..Maria deserves better than you, you never deserved her and she shouldn't waste a tear on someone like you." I scoff and she scrunches her nose as she wipes it, looking up. She's trying to hold it together. I know her too well. She deserves to be treated like shit because it's how she treats everyone.
"Fuck you, Natalie."
"Who's Liv? The one who sent you pictures, hm? How about we talk about that?" I ask, she looks away and I try catch her eye but again...she won't make eye contact no matter how hard I try.
"I'm going—"
"Tell me now before I let you leave, if you do leave now I won't ever speak to you again and you know I won't so don't even think I'm lying."
"You who it is, Christ." She says leaning off the wall still looking away still.
"You're supposed to be my best friend, I gave you so many chances, more than I have given anyone..." I say, my voice not sounding so strong and confident anymore and a tear finally escapes from her eyes.
"How long, Tatum?" I ask stepping back.
"I didn't mean to."
"You don't mean to do shit, Tatum. How long during my marriage were you fucking Olivia?" I ask her, my head pounding from irritation and the anger in my stomach that I desperately need to get out.
"Natalie..." She finally looks to me and I hold eye contact with her.
"Was it before the wedding?" I ask and she flinches looking away. I shut my hands stepping back from her at the realisation...My whole marriage was a lie, not only because Olivia was fucking my brother, but also my best friend. I knew Tatum was shitty but I didn't understand how shitty until now.
"It was only once—"
"Get out of my house, Tatum. I mean it."
"Natalie—"
"Get out before I end up killing you." I say and she sighs.
"Call me tomorrow—"
"No, I won't. I don't want to speak to you again. You are just horrible, so fucking horrible. You have lost me as a friend and when the realisation hits you that you have nobody else by your side, don't come to me with your problems. Sort them out your fucking self because I will not be there for you anymore. I knew you had something for her and I know you have something for Diana, I won't let you ruin my life because you don't have one of your own." I say and she looks at me for a second before finally walking away.
I glance back over my shoulder watching her leave, I'm tempted to call after her and tell her call me when she fixes herself, when she's become a better person but...I have a feeling that won't be anytime soon.
I hear the front door shutting, I walk over to the counter picking up my glass, I lift it to my lips taking a sip before groaning and turning around throwing the glass at the wall out of anger.
It smashed of course and the glass shatters all over the floor along with the liquid that was inside. I rub my head not sure if I want to laugh or cry.
I've created more of a mess that I have to clean up.
I walk across the kitchen grabbing the dustpan and brush, I sweep up the glass trying not to think about it all, Diana, Tatum...Olivia.
I don't love Olivia. That's a lie—but what I mean is that I'm not in love with her anymore, but part of me will always have love for her, I mean we were married, we lived together and all of it.
I always loved Olivia more than she loved me, I begged for her love throughout our marriage, she gave it to me...Just not as much as I gave her.
Our relationship wasn't perfect, but I still stayed for as long as I could, I knew something had happened...the way she was protective over her phone but always checked mine searching for her own secrets in it. I had so much respect for Olivia, I barely talked to other women which may seem extreme but she loved it, I gave her all of my attention and in the end it flipped.
She begged for me back, although I slept with her the night before, I am incredibly thankful to myself for not taking her back...Only because I would have shut down whatever was there with Diana at the time. That would have been the worst mistake I could possibly make.
"I heard glass—I thought Tatum threw something—it wouldn't surprise me." I freeze glancing over to Maria as she stands in the doorway.
I bend down picking up the dustpan before walking to the trash, dumping the glass in.
"Are you mad at me?" Maria asks and I shake my head, I drop the dustpan down as I put my hands down on the counter.
"No, Maria. I am just exhausted...I am also mad, not at you, at Tatum and this...damn world for everything happening." I laugh a little looking to her and she nods, I look back at the counter again.
"You could have told me, I would have beaten her ass." I tell Maria and she lets out a sigh.
"She doesn't hit me like that, she's just rough..She's just..."
"Tatum. She's just Tatum. She's not worth the energy, Maria. I've only realised it now but find someone who treats you like an actual human being." I tell her and she walks over to the counter pulling out a stool as she sits down.
"She does...Most of the time."
"Does she?"
"Yeah...She can be nice."
"I know, I know that. But is she ever nice to you when she's not trying to get into your pants?" I ask and her nose scrunches. I nod to myself getting the answer.
"I just want to be loved, Natalie."
"That isn't love, when you find real love, you will realise that."
"Well what is real love with someone then? I don't even know." She asks looking at me, seeming slightly offended.
"Real...True Love is...a deep but genuine connection, you will know when you find it which may sound ridiculous but you will understand. You will want what's best for them, care for them unconditionally, support them even with stupid decisions. It goes beyond sex—physical attraction, it's so much more than that. It makes you feel warm, Maria. It makes you want to be the best version of yourself, your heart skips a beat every single time you see them. It's rare to find, but when you do, you will never want to be with anybody else. You want them to be yours for...evermore, you never second guess it." I tell her and she keeps looking at me. She sniffles looking away.
"Diana's the reason you became the best version of yourself? Why you became all nice?" She smiles wiping her eyes. I smile back nodding.
"Diana's my true love, I found her during a dark time in my life, I felt like I was...walking through a dark tunnel with a broken flashlight or something." I laugh and she keeps smiling, looking at her hands.
"Did she fix the flashlight?" She glances to me and I nod still smiling slightly.
"She lit the tunnel and led me out of it without realising and out into the stupid sunny weather or something...Someone will do that for you too, just don't let a person brighten the tunnel and lead you the wrong way before breaking your flashlight even more." I say and she laughs.
"Thank you, Natalie."
"It's the truth, you will find the person for you. I can't tell you what to do, but I would advise you to step away from Tatum if she's only hurting you. She's not worth it, you deserve so much better." I tell her and she gets up. She walks around the counter wrapping me into a hug.
"Thank you, really." She says, I smile rubbing her back.
"Just being a good friend, it's nothing."
"Did you just call me your friend?" She jumps back and I roll my eyes.
"Shut up and leave my house, I am exhausted." I say and she laughs walking towards the kitchen door.
"I better go anyway, bye." She says and I follow her out to the hall, I jump at the sight of Diana outside the kitchen, Jesus Christ.
"Bye, Diana. You're welcome." Maria winks at the both of us before leaving. I furrow my eyebrows glancing to Diana.
She looks back at me before looking at the floor.
"The room is cold, I need your body heat." She holds out her hand, I hold eye contact with her before taking her hand, threading my fingers through hers, feeling that warm feeling.