Evermore - Chapter 34: Chapter 34

-Diana's POV-
I lay facing the wall as I hear Natalie getting out of bed, opening and closing her bedside table. I stare at the dark wall letting my mind wander.
Natalie's lamp switches on and I don't move, I don't want her to know I'm awake. I've been crying most of the night but at least she still came to bed last night. We just slept facing away from one another, it feels so weird. I wanted to snuggle up to her and feel her kisses and hear her whispers like every other night.
She still said "I love you" though, I did too. I think that's a rule we have that isn't really spoken about...usually we don't go to bed mad but this is my fault.
Yesterday Cindy she convinced me to take most of Charlie's hoodies and some other bits, she told me that it was all too painful and she wasn't sure she could ever look at them again. She cried—we both did, sitting in his room knowing he'll never step inside there again.
But there was one thing that really upset me, there was a journal in his bedside table and Cindy asked me what was inside. It wasn't a diary necessarily because it had sketches of random things, probably from when he was bored—but there was also a page titled "Diana's wedding speech" he wrote his speech for my wedding. Cindy convinced me to take it after I began sobbing to the point I could barely breathe..I didn't read it, I couldn't because the tears wouldn't stop.
I pull the blanket over myself more as I curl into a ball, sniffling a little before the room goes silent, the shuffling of whatever Natalie's doing stops. I squeeze my wet eyes shut, still smelling the scent of Charlie's hoodie that I'm wearing. It's so comforting but also so painful.
I pull the blanket over my head and I hear the light switch from the closet, she has work, she's going to work...I have the house to myself all day, I have no distractions.
I just have myself.
I think I'll stay in bed for today, I'm not strong enough. Not today at least. I'm tired and I just need to cry and sleep.
I hear footsteps, getting closer to my side of the bed, I hold the top of the blanket before I hear something being set down on my bedside table.
She walks away, the footsteps going back over to the closet.
I push the blanket down a little, noticing a small piece of paper on my bedside table, I pick it up.
I'm late for work, didn't have time to make you coffee.
I love you.
I put the paper down, there's not a love heart like usual—or a little kiss mark from her lipstick or even a x.
I drop my head down against the pillow.
✺
-Natalie's POV-
"Miss, what are we doing?" Delaney, one of my students speak up. I sigh looking up from my laptop.
"How many times must I repeat myself before you all put your listening ears on?" I question, standing up causing the whispering to stop leaving the classroom silent.
I cross my arms looking around, watching them all turn away from their friends to face me instead.
"You are reading chapter thirteen, all of it and you are answering the questions in the booklet I have given you. If you do not finish the questions, they must be completed for homework. I will be checking tomorrow." I raise my voice and they all go their bags, I roll my eyes noticing one student looking beneath the table, Sophia.
Lord give me strength.
I walk around my desk and down to hers, the whispering starts again. Sophia quickly looks up at me straightening up.
I hold my hand out to her.
"Hand it up, you know the rules." I tell her, she looks up at me, shoulders dropping.
"Miss, please—"
"Sophia, hand it up." I say and she looks around the classroom as some students start giggling while others whisper to each other.
"No—it's mine, you can't take it from me."
"Maybe not, but I can sure as hell give you detention for it. Would you rather stay at school longer, not being able to go on that stupid phone or would you rather stop being a show off and hand it to me. Now." I raise my eyebrows at her and she looks at me.
"Me staying at school longer means you will have to as well. Are you really going to punish yourself because you want to punish me over a phone?" She asks and they all start gasping and giggling. I bite my lip looking over my shoulder to all of them, the room goes silent and I look back to her again.
I search her eyes and she shifts in her chair.
"Stop being a show off, Sophia, it won't earn you a seat at lunch. Now go outside the classroom, I'll speak to you in a second." I say and more giggles again. She stands up, stomping towards the door like a five year old who's been refused of having candy.
"If I hear so much of a whisper, god help me, I will give you all the rest of the booklet for homework. Do your work and zip it." I say, following Sophia out of the classroom.
I shut the door as she leans against the other wall, her arms crossed while she rolls her eyes.
"What was that?" I ask walking closer to her, she glances to me before looking away.
"Hm? Why so quiet now? You were so quick to talk back when everyone is listening, don't be afraid now." I tell her and she looks at the floor, I keep looking at her waiting for her to look up but her eyes stay on the ground.
"I'm sorry."
"Sorry is not going to cut it, you don't disrespect me or anybody in my classroom to show off, thinking you might get a seat with the 'cool' kids because they had a little laugh amongst themselves. You're not cool nor are you funny. I expect respect—"
"You think you respect anyone in class? You basically called me a loser in front of the whole class, you do anytime anyone speaks up to you. You shout at us for asking a simple question." She drops her hands to her sides and I scoff.
"Oh yes, I'm in the wrong for speaking back to you children when you attempt to act cool in front of your classmates. It may work with your other teachers, but I won't allow any of you to try mortify me in class because I will do it back. I answered the question annoyed because I gave you all instructions two times and nobody listened." I raise my voice at her and she looks down the hall.
"You're supposed to be the teacher. You're the adult but you speak back to us—you're more immature than anyone in this school." She comments and I hum.
"I'm giving you a weeks detention—"
"What?!"
"Yes, maybe from it, you will learn to close your mouth when you're supposed to." I hum looking at her and she goes to speak again, I raised my eyebrows and she shuts her mouth as her shoulders slump.
She stomps off back into the classroom and I drop my hands, taking a breath in. At least from this, I have to stay longer in school. I can stop by Carson's on my way home too, I just can't deal with Diana right now.
✺
"Hey, Lilahs upstairs." Carson messes up my hair and I slap his hand away from me. I fix my hair shutting the door behind me before rubbing my eyes.
"Anytime I come over she's in that room." I say and he laughs, walking towards his kitchen, I walk over to the stairs.
"Delilah, come down this stairs now!" I shout up and Carson laughs again.
"She hates being called that." He comments and I follow him into the kitchen, his kitchen is much bigger than mine. Much more space, a big island to sit at.
"I know. Where's Anna?" I ask walking over to the island sitting at a stool as I hear Lilah running down the stairs.
"Work, she's been caught staying later recently and Lilah hates it." Carson tells me while getting a soda from the fridge and handing it to me, I take it humming.
"That's shit. How does she feel about it?"
"Hates it too, we've had to get a babysitter for when we both have work." He sighs and I nod opening the soda before taking a sip. I glance over to the doorway as Lilah walks in.
"Hello, you. Why are you always held up in that cave of yours when I come over?" I ask as she giggles walking closer, I pull out the stool beside me for her and she walks closer getting onto it.
"I'm busy." She smiles putting her iPad down on the island, I act shocked looking at her.
"Doing what?"
"Reading probably. She won't stop asking for books, I've had to buy her a bookshelf and it's nearly full. She's getting the nerd thing from you." Carson says and I smile looking at Lilah.
"Ignore him. What do you like to read?" I ask, putting down the soda.
"Crime books, mystery ones—they're the best." She smiles, excited and I nod.
"Your birthdays coming up, I'll make sure to keep an eye out for anything. Do you read any romance?" I sit back and she shrugs.
"Only a little, sometimes they can get boring—especially love triangles, they're a complete waste of time and I think it's not true love no matter who the girl chooses because if it was, there wouldn't be another option." She talks, quickly so I try to keep up. I break a smile. I'm proud.
"I agree, love triangles are shit and yes, it's not true love if the protagonist is questioning her love for the two love interests I suppose." I tell her and she nods back quickly.
"Tell her about your drawings." Carson speaks up and I glance to him as I rest my elbow on the counter.
"Oh—I drew you—and Aunty Camila and Ellie. Uncle Zack was hard to draw." She picks up her iPad, swiping and tapping at it.
She holds the iPad up to me, I take it looking at the cartoon like drawing of me.
"Why are my eyes so bright?" I smile turning the iPad for her to look at the bright green eyes she's given me.
"Because they are bright, bright green sometimes." She says and I look back at the drawing again, it's really good actually. It's not realistic, it's just cartoon like, my hair a dark brunette that's dead straight, of course she drew me in all black.
"It's really good, I'm impressed, Picasso." I hand her the iPad back and she smiles.
"You think so?" She asks and I nod.
"I do, I'm very impressed and I'm proud of you for getting into reading, the world belongs to those who read, as they say." I smile at her and she looks back to her iPad.
"What about those who write?" She questions turning off the iPad before setting it down on the island.
"I guess they create their own world." I tell her and she looks at me again.
"Do you like to write?" She asks and I look away for a moment. I've already told Tatum, I might as well tell my niece.
"I do, I love it. I'll tell you about it when you're a little older because what I write isn't appropriate for you yet." I laugh a little glancing to Carson as he looks at me confused.
"No, no, tell me!" She says and I smile picking up my soda.
"Lilah, I would love to but you're too young for that type of reading yet, sweetheart." I glance to her as she furrows her eyebrows.
"Lilah, I'm gonna order some pizza in a few minutes, I need to talk to Aunty Nat so go up to your room for awhile, okay?" Carson looks to Lilah. She gets up from her stool.
"Give Aunty Nat a hug." He nods, Lilah glues to me and I cringe, trying to smile awkwardly as I pat her back.
Lilah pulls back grabbing her iPad before leaving to kitchen, I look to Carson and he smiles.
"Shut up." I say.
"She's your niece, you should be giving her hugs."
"Shut up, hugs makes me feel suffocated sometimes." I roll my shoulders a little and he laughs.
"Poor Diana." He says and I look at the counter.
"That doesn't go for her, she's alright." I tell him and he shakes his head smiling.
"What was that about writing? Do you write books and how come I haven't seen them?" He questions and I look around the kitchen.
"It's stupid, Carson."
"No it's not, I didn't know you liked writing."
"Because I haven't told anyone, only Diana." I look at him and he leans against the counter.
"Did something happen between the two of you? Is that why you're acting weird?" He questions and I look at him confused. I'm acting like I usually do.
"How am I acting weird?" I ask.
"You're just...different, not as energetic."
"When am I ever energetic?"
"You're not but there's just something different." He says and I roll my eyes.
"Nothings different."
"It is, somethings wrong between the two of you, isn't it?" He asks again, I stand up getting annoyed.
"Learn how to mind your own business, because what is 'going on' certainly isn't yours." I say before walking out, pissed off. I have gotten little sleep and I've had to raise my voice about ten times today...to add to that I've stayed late at work. I'm exhausted.