Evermore - Chapter 40: Chapter 40

-Diana's POV-
"No, I don't think that's going to work." Arabella says to the tailor, he drops his shoulders looking to another woman who is a...fashion designer I'm going to guess.
"Miss, you said you wanted browns, anything brown I have shown you has been shut down." The designer says, oh she's British. I like her accent.
"It's not what we're going for, it's too much. Nobody will wear this, nobody will even be interested—"
"It's hideous, Myla. A homeless person wouldn't want to wear it." I hear Victoria as she picks up the designers sketchbook. She begins flipping through it, I notice the designers face going red from embarrassment.
I think her designs are nice but maybe I don't have the eye for fashion.
"I don't know why you're mixing pink and brown together, it looks ridiculous. Neutral colours, brown and crèmes together instead." Victoria rips a page out of the sketchbook, I feel like gasping. Why is she so basic? Creme and brown are a nice combo but why not go the extra length of trying something new?
"But don't you want to stand out?" I ask and Arabella looks to me quickly before Victoria does.
I freeze for a second at all the eyes going to me, my heart quickens. I take a breath before looking to Victoria. She's not going to like attack me for an opinion, is she?
"What?" She speaks and I take another breath so I don't choke while speaking.
"Yeah fall is more neutral colours but that doesn't mean you should limit it only to that, I mean—can I see the sketch?" I hold out my hand, Victoria hands it to me—more slaps it into my hand but..
"I think Myla has a good idea but you're shutting it down right away when you saw pink...A lighter shade of pink would work really well, just maybe also with a lighter brown—and a darker brown maybe." I say setting the paper down on the table.
"Pink and brown don't work."
"Because you're not letting them, I really think—"
"You're an assistant, Diana. What you think about these designs does not mean shit to me." Victoria picks up the paper scrunching it, I look down at the floor feeling my own face heating up now.
"I think pink and brown look great together too." I hear Lili, I look up to see her walking closer. She hands a coffee to Victoria.
"Lili—"
"I agree with everything Diana just said, don't knock it till you try it. Myla could totally draw a new sketch with both me and Diana's opinions, take a look and you might like it. But I guess I'm just an assistant too so...." Lili speaks, looking at Victoria for a long moment.
"Myla."
"On it, Miss Lennon." Myla picks up a pencil and Victoria drops her sketchbook down before watching her begin to sketch.
✺
"And she liked it! She said maybe I was right all along, I mean none of the stuff is really my style and it all looks crazy to me but she liked my idea after all." I say looking to Natalie as we both walk down the street, the cold breeze blowing my hair.
"There's gonna be like a fashion show with the collection—so if my idea does actually become something—someone is gonna model it at a show! An actual fashion show with people, like the one I went to." I speak, smiling and raising my voice because of my excitement.
"All because I spoke up—even though I was nervous and my hands got really sweaty and—" I cut myself off when I realise I'm blabbing and not letting Natalie get a word in.
She looks to me, furrowing her eyebrows.
"Go on, I'm listening." She pulls me closer by my waist as we both keep walking, I don't look where I'm going, I look to her.
"Sometimes I forget you're my fiancée and I just think to myself 'god I want to kiss this woman'." I smile before leaning up kissing her, she laughs against my lips holding onto my waist tighter.
"Good thing you can do it whenever you want now go on." She mumbles and I pull back walking closely beside her.
"That's it. My minds gone blank." I speak and Natalie laughs.
"Here we are." She says as we approach two opened glass doors with a bright sign above, displaying the name of the restaurant.
She takes her hand away from my waist, taking my hand instead as we step inside.
The lights are dim in here, slow instrumental music playing. There's a counter just as we step in, a woman behind it and the wall behind her holding a beautiful painting of some people walking through a city with umbrellas. I like it.
I squeeze Natalies hand a little as she speaks to the woman, I look around, it seems to be busy tonight. Most of the tables are occupied.
"Follow me." Another woman approaches us and Natalie glances to me, probably to make sure I'm paying attention and not in my own little world.
We both follow the woman, I let go of Natalie's hand—unsure if she wants to hold my hand especially when so many people are around...Just incase.
The woman stops at a round table, two red leather chairs at either side of the table. Natalie thanks her and I smile before she walks away.
Natalie pulls out a chair—for me but I walk around the table quickly pulling the other out.
"Sit." I say and she looks at me before laughing.
"I mean it, let me be a gentlewoman for once." I smile and she walks around the table winking at me before she sits down. I squeeze her shoulder before walking around to my seat, pulling it closer to the table before sitting down.
I look at the small candle in the middle of the table, kind of worried it might get knocked over. I then glance down to the menu in front of me trying to ignore the candle.
I pick it up looking over it, trying to decide on what I would like. I'm not really sure what I'm even in the mood for.
I glance up looking around, it's really full in here, I didn't expect so many people to be on dates tonight—some people probably aren't even on dates so that was just an assumption. I don't really want to order—I just feel weird, it's been awhile since I've came to a restaurant with Natalie on a date, especially to a place like this.
"Nat." I say quietly and she looks to me.
"Yes?"
"Can you order for me?"
"What?" She smiles and I look around.
"I don't know, I just feel like I'm gonna start stuttering and get nervous and I'm tired." I look back to her and she nods.
"Alright, I will, what do you want?" She asks.
"Chips and salsa then the carbonara...maybe some water too." I say and she nods.
"Alright." She speaks and I hand her my menu, she sets them down while waiting for a waiter. I sit back looking around again, I spot a man and a woman locked in a gaze with each other, I spot a man and an older woman who looks to be his mother, both of them talking.
Natalie begins talking and I look back to see her speaking with a waitress who writes at her little notepad. I'm stepping too much outside of my comfort zone today...I'm sinking back into it by not being able to order like I usually can do.
"And I will have a Caesar salad then a carbonara for my main too." Natalie says and I furrow my eyebrows, a salad?
"What drinks would you like with that, Ma'am?"
"We will just have two waters, please." Natalie responds causing the waitress to nod her head.
"Your food will be with you shortly, I'll be right back with your drinks." She smiles before walking away as Natalie thanks her.
"So, how are you?" Natalie questions and I look to her, I smile shrugging.
"That's a weird question."
"It's a date, I'm supposed to ask questions and I am allowed to check in." She rolls her eyes sitting up before taking off her maroon leather jacket, she pulls at the long sleeves of the black shirt she's wearing, fixing the V neckline that is kind of low..Not a problem—no complaints from me at all.
"I'm good. How are you?" I ask her, fixing my grey skirt, I wore tights beneath it of course. It's spring now but it's not quite warm yet.
"Great, tired because of work but I'm alright." She says and I nod, flattening the skirt out.
"Maybe because you keep giving detentions and you suffer the consequences of staying there longer too." I smile to myself, glancing up at her, noticing she's already watching me.
"Shut up, you used to get yourself detention more times than I could count."
"Oh and who was the one giving me them?" I ask and she bites her tongue looking away.
"Maybe you should have behaved yourself."
"Maybe you should have just admitted you wanted to get in my pants, Miss unprofessional." I say and she looks back to me.
"This is not date talk."
"Yeah it is, we're practically married." I say and she hums, she sits back, her smile dimming a little. I keep looking at her, waiting for her to speak since I know she has something to say.
"May I ask something?"
"You may." I say and she smiles again rolling her eyes.
"When do you want to get married? If you don't have a response—"
"Natalie, I would marry you right now. I was waiting for you to say something about it. I know you haven't really because of Charlie and I need to be happy on my wedding day but I also feel like no matter when we decide to have the wedding...somethings always going to be missing so really...I would just like to have it, small and cosy. I honestly just want to call you my wife already." I say and she smiles looking down.
"We can save a seat up the top at the ceremony for him, I think it's only right that we keep a seat for him either way." She tells me and I smile, my heart aching but I take a breath nodding.
"I wish he was able to be there, beside me and whispering curses like 'what the fuck', 'holy shit she looks hot' or something completely inappropriate." I laugh and she does too.
I look to the table before the waitress returns, setting a glass of water down with a few ice cubes inside. I thank her before Natalie does.
When I agreed to this date it was obviously because I wanted to—but also because one question has been bugging me to ask her. I've been thinking about it since my interview with Arabella, when she asked where do I see myself in five years. I've thought about it more before that...but that question really stuck with me.
I mentioned kids. On me and Natalie's first date we both said no to kids...but it's kind of changed—I want to be a mother it's just my experience with my own really affected my opinion on having them.
"Did I tell you how beautiful you looked tonight?" Natalie speaks and I look up to her before smiling and rolling my eyes.
"Yeah you did, you flirt. You told me three times before we even left the house." I tell her and she shrugs.
"Just thought I would let you know again—"
"Look at yourself, you look absolutely gorgeous. I would kiss you right now but this tables in the way." I huff and she laughs.
"Also, I cannot believe you got a salad—I feel a tad bit betrayed, baby." I say and she furrows her eyebrows looking to me again, her eyes glowing.
"What's wrong with a salad?"
"Nothing—but it's a restaurant and I ordered chips with salsa and I was definitely planning on getting some delicious hot cake with ice cream for dessert."
"Well, it's on me so feel free to."
"Are you getting a dessert?" I ask and she shrugs looking at the menu.
"If I feel like it, I'm not too—"
"Natalie. You are going to drive me insane."
"What did I do?" She smiles at me and I put my hands on the table letting my shoulders drop.
"I did not spend these last few days daydreaming at work about the delicious dessert here just for me to be the only one getting it." I huff and she laughs crossing her arms at her chest.
"Well, I assumed we would have dessert at home, I apologise." She says and my eyes widen, a different waiter steps up to our table setting my chips with salsa down before setting Natalie's salad down. She glances away from me and up at the waiter thanking him.
My cheeks heat as I also thank the waiter before he walks away to another table.
"She's flustered, good to know I still have an affect." Natalie speaks picking up here fork and I shake my head looking away.
"This is supposed to be a cute romantic date, not you bringing up dessert at home."
"What? We have cake and ice cream at home." A grin curves it's way onto her lips as she looks down at that stupid salad. Seriously—I shouldn't judge but it's a date, she got a salad—and she's also lying about the cake and ice cream at home. We both know what she meant.
"That is not what you meant and you know it." I pick up a chip dipping it in the salsa before eating it, Natalie's eyes meet mine again as she takes a bite of her salad—it probably tastes like grass, if I wanted to kiss her right now that's what I would taste. That is disgusting.
"What did I mean then, Diana?" She questions and I shake my head, I should let myself choke honestly. I hate that she can STILL do that thing that makes me nervous to my core. She said my name differently—let alone saying my name is different but she lowered her voice almost—it was sexier. I said it because it's the truth. It's making me need to shift in my chair.
"You know—"
"Tell me what I meant." She cuts me off and I suck in a breath, I stare at my chips before eating another to preoccupy my mouth so I don't have to answer that.
"I'm not responding to that." I say, my mouth still a bit full so I block it.
"Why not? You're not innocent, you say the most despicable things when we're in bed." She says and I look at her, looking around quickly.
"We just got here, don't make me get up and go to bathroom right now." I tell her and she keeps grinning.
"You're no fun."
"I'm no fun? We're on a date, a cute date that we're supposed to be getting to know each other at—a check in date because things change throughout a two year relationship. Not sex talk, so stop making me all..." I trail off and she goes to speak and I hold up my hand.
"Don't even say it." I warn her and she laughs.
"You are ridiculous." I give out, eating another chip—these are really good. Natalie eats her salad not saying anymore.
"Okay, date talk. what is your favourite movie?" I ask and she snorts.
"Have you forgotten we've done this already?"
"Oh my—Natalie, it's been two years. Answer the question." I huff, getting stressed because of her.
"Alright...I don't know, probably scream still. I know yours."
"What is it then, smarty pants?" I question and she puts down her fork.
"That movie we watched during the summer, about that paralysed man and the girl that left you crying for hours." She leans forward smiling and I huff rolling my eyes.
"It's called me before you." I mumble and she hums.
"I still know it."
"Whatever. Singer?"
"Lana del Rey, it hasn't changed, not much has. Yours is still for that godforsaken woman, Taylor Swift." She says and I smile widely.
"You know me too well."
"I know I do, your favourite food at the moment is ramen but it's going to change tomorrow." She says and I eat another chip.
"Yours is...pasta." I say and she shrugs.
"It's good."
"Yeah, I guess so. Ask me a question." I say and she looks away thinking. I pick at my chips waiting before she meets my eye.
"I know everything about you, there's nothing to ask."
"What's my favourite colour?"
"Sage green." She says and I drop my shoulders.
"Okay, that was easy."
"Everything is easy because I pay attention." She tells me, she eats more of her salad and I huff.
"What's my favourite song then?" I question and she shakes her head smiling.
"Something by Taylor Swift, that one you were singing this morning."
"Which one?"
"I don't know the name of it, probably one about her ex boyfriend—"
"Hey—Too far. Not all of her songs are about boyfriends." I give out and she rolls her eyes.
"What about Lana, huh? She sings about boyfriends." I say and she looks at the table shaking her head.
"Yeah, you've gone quiet because you know I'm right. Do not insult my favourite singer, I would definitely leave you for her." I say, jokingly but Natalie looks to me.
"That is what we call too far, I would leave you for Lana then." She says and I gasp a little. She started it—no I did but she started by insulting Taylor.
"Go marry Lana then." I huff and Natalie snorts.
I'm not joking.
"I will."
"Hm."
"Mhm." She hums and I keep my eyes on the plate. I don't look at her—I am very offended, she said she would leave me for Lana del Rey. I mean I said I would leave her for Taylor Swift but that is so different. Taylor—She's more known, there is no chance of me and her. Lana—Look at Natalie for Christ sake I would anyone for Natalie.
"You're mad." Natalie says and I glance to her.
"Who's mad?" I ask looking around and acting clueless, she laughs.
"I hope you realise we're talking about two straight women, none of us are leaving one another. Neither of them would take us." Natalie laughs and I shrug.
"Lana would take you, you're really hot."
"Well, I wouldn't take her."
"You just said you would, it's fine, I get it." I roll my eyes eating some more of my chips.
She nudges my foot beneath the table, I pull away and she laughs more.
"Diana, I will bring you to the bathroom and prove to you I don't want another woman. We're on a date, stop being all moody." She says and I huff.
"You better not leave me for a celebrity." I look at her.
"I am not going to leave you, period." She smiles and I shrug.
"What if Lana came up to this table right now and asked you to leave me?"
"Do you want to go to the bathroom and sort this out?" She puts down her fork and I smile.
"That sounds like you're going to beat me up." I laugh and she sits back.
"I might leave a few marks but I won't be harming you."
"Shut up, we're eating. This is a date." I shift in my chair and she hums.
"You are the one almost crying because you think I'm going to leave you for a celebrity." She says and I push the plate of chips away from me.
"You could! There's always a chance." I say and she smiles looking at me.
"Well, I wouldn't."
"Why not?"
"I don't know, maybe I'm in love with you or something. Not too sure though." She shrugs looking around and I smile.
The waitress walks up to our table again.
"Are you ladies finished?" She asks and I nod lifting my plate so she can take it, Natalie lifts hers as well.
"Excellent, your main will be with you very shortly." She smiles walking away.
"Well, if you're so in love with me...Would you still be in love me if I was a worm?" I ask and Natalie's eyebrows knot as she looks at me weirdly.
"What?"
"Would you?"
"No, I would not."
"What? Why not?" I gasp looking at her as I plant my hands on the table.
"I don't know, maybe because I'm not attracted to wiggly creatures." She says and I frown.
"I'm offended."
"You're not a worm."
"What if I was?"
"Then we would not be on this date."
"I can't believe this." I sit back crossing my arms and she smiles looking at me still, moving some of her hair back as her green eyes glow. I look around as that slow instrumental music still plays quietly.
"Would you prefer me to be in love with a worm?" She questions and I shrug.
"You cannot shrug to that question, I cannot be in love with a worm. They're disgusting."
"You just called me disgusting."
"You are not a worm." She says and I sit forward looking to her.
"You wouldn't love me if I was." I smile.
"Jesus Christ." She says and I shrug.
✺
I thank the waitress as she sets down my dessert, I didn't want to get dessert alone but Natalie ordered it for me anyway.
"You're so annoying." I mumble picking up my fork and she smiles.
"Enjoy, darling." She tells me as she sits back, our main was delicious. It was a pasta carbonara which was very tasty. It took us awhile to eat because I couldn't stop talking.
I still haven't asked her the kids question and she's in a very good mood right now so now is the best time.
"Natalie." I say looking down at the hot chocolate cake and the melting vanilla ice cream, sauce and icing sugar sprinkled over it.
"Mhm?" She hums and I look to her and she looks back at me.
"Remember out first date?"
"I do, very well." She responds picking up her glass of water drinking some of it. I take a bite of the hot cake and some ice cream before putting down the spoon and humming at the chocolaty sweet taste—hot from the cake and cold the ice cream, it melts on my tongue.
"Good?" She questions and I nod my head.
"Amazing." I mumble blocking my mouth, okay—question time.
"Remember the children conversation." I say after I swallow, she nods slowly.
"Yes, what about it?"
"Do you still not want kids?" I ask and she searches my eyes.
"I don't know."
"What do you mean?"
"My Mom has told me numerous times I would be a good mother, Carson has said it and some other people..But I can't imagine myself having a baby, I can somewhat see us adopting or fostering but I haven't been sure of what you wanted since we had this talk." She says and I jump a little.
"You want to adopt too?"
"Have you thought about it?" She questions and I nod quickly.
"Yeah—I saw a few things about kids in care, there's even a website which is kind of weird but it showed kids and their stories. Is it what you want?" I ask and Natalie searches my eyes.
"Honestly, yes. I think after we got married if we waited two or more years while we learn more about it and make sure it's something we definitely want. Kids and especially kids in care aren't something we just decide we want—we need to put time into learning about fostering or adopting first."
"Really?" I raise my voice a little, excited and she smiles.
"It's not going to be easy, at all. We would have to talk about this and do so much research and talk to people before moving forward with it." Natalie says and I nod quickly.
"Of course. But, are we gonna move house?" I ask.
"I also want that. Do you?" She questions and I nod smiling.
"I want to live in a smaller house, more cozy and maybe on a farm. Imagine in the summer we could go picking flowers, picking apples." I smile and Natalie does too.
"What else?" She asks.
"A porch, with a rocking chair where I could sit on your lap and read. We could watch the sunset out there while we talk about our days. I want a horse—or two, it may be an effort to clean them and the stables but if you help we could manage." I say and she keeps smiling.
"A farm life for us?"
"Yeah, it's much quieter than the city, just us and maybe our child. Our own little family in a quiet spot where we can relax and enjoy life."
"I have to work."
"We won't be that far from the city, our child will have to go to school too." I tell her eating some more of my ice cream and cake.
"Sadie could come live with us too, there she will have so much space to run." I say and Natalie picks up her purse.
"We could apply for a loan and start looking. I've been saving for a new house anyway before my divorce with Olivia." Natalie says and I look at her.
"Really?" I ask and she nods.
"I love it, I love all of it. I want this life with you."
"Can we get married?" I ask and she looks at me smiling.
"Soon."
"No—I'm serious, can we start planning—this year, we could do it and start this life." I say and she keeps looking at me.
"We need dresses and everything, venue all of that." She says and I nod.
"Yeah, so let's get at it. A winter wedding, it will be freezing but who's going to stop us?"
"This is a very dumb decision, I hope you know." She smiles widely.
"I know, we've made too many dumb decisions to stop now." I tell her, holding eye contact with her.
"I suppose we've made one too many dumb decisions."
"Can we go home?" I ask her and she laughs.
"You haven't finished your dessert." She nods to my plate and I shake my head.
"You said earlier we have dessert at home." I say and she nods her head, smiling at me taking some money out of her purse.