Exotic - Chapter 46: Chapter 46

"Stay on the line," I told Lauren. If I was about to be violently dismembered, I wanted there to be a witness. Hopefully, her guilt over the mistake which had landed me in my current situation would outweigh her family loyalties, and her testimony would at least see justice served.
The closed door had given me some relief by muffling the alarm. It meant I could fully process what Jake had just said and formulate a coherent reply despite my peaking distress.
"Was that... did you just make a Vampire Diaries reference?"
Jake looked immediately self-conscious, which lessened him somewhat as an intimidating presence. "Yeah? And? It's not exactly a commonplace thing, sibling sliding. I didn't have a lot of options."
"Then why make the reference at all?" I backed up against the door, sliding my hand around for the handle, before remembering it was an emergency door and didn't have one. I dropped my arm, with the sinking realisation that I was trapped.
Jake threw up his hands, and the gesture made me flinch back. But he looked more exasperated than anything. "I don't know. You might have guessed I'm a little thrown on what exactly has been going on between you and my sister. And my brother."
He waved his phone at me accusingly. I wished I could retract into myself, and leave only a thick shell of impenetrable, featureless armour behind. Exposed, I could only stand as still as I possibly could, and hope that, like a crocodile, Jake's attacks were based on sudden movement.
"What's going on?" my phone called from my hand. "Miles, are you okay? Please talk to me."
Jake's attention shifted. He looked down at the phone in my hand, face contorting in confusion. "Laur?"
"Jake? What are you do..." Lauren began, trailing off before long. After a revelatory pause, she growled, "Put me on speaker."
I obliged, just happy to put someone between myself and Jake. Even if it was just over the phone. The way Jake slouched like a lectured tween when her voice rang out, loud and severe, told me that it didn't make much of a difference when it came to Lauren. She could be just as menacing in audio format.
"Jacob Linus Proust, you better quit your macho posturing and leave him the fuck alone," she seethed. "I don't know what you heard, or what you're thinking but you're wrong and you better well believe that if you make one accusation against my friend Miles without proof, one catty remark that makes him feel worse than he already does, I will tell every senior at Tranquillity that you are taking time off dating to rediscover your faith."
Lauren was breathing hard over the line, daring a retort. I remained fixed in place, with the phone between us acting as a barrier. Jake looked queasy, toeing the unkempt grass with the toes of his sneakers.
"Jesus, Laur, I just want to know what's going on," he finally stammered. "I think that's fair. Caleb comes out and a few hours later I'm getting messages for your ex-boyfriend, intended for him, implying..."
"Implication is not admissible in a court of law," Lauren cut him off harshly. "Try again."
"God, I don't know, Lauren," Jake retorted. "Maybe if Miles actually explained what was going on, I wouldn't have to come to conclusions on my own."
"Maybe if you let him talk, he will," Lauren fired back.
"Uhm," I said weakly, nervous to get between their bout of sibling warfare. "Sorry, but... did you say Caleb came out?"
"Yeah. This morning," Jake replied, as nonchalantly as if he'd been talking about Caleb making toast. If anything, he looked irritated about the derailment of the conversation. "Are you going to tell me or..."
"Why didn't you tell me this?" I ignored him, instead turning my attention down the phone line. I felt betrayed. In all our messaging, she had never thought to tell me that vital piece of information?
"Well... and no offence, Miles," she said gently but firmly, a tone I'd grown used to, "But it's not really any of your business."
I swallowed hard and conceded that it wasn't. "Is he... okay?"
"Are you implying that he wouldn't be, for any reason?" Jake sounded defensive. "He told us, everyone hugged, Mum made pancakes, and we were all late to school. Who the hell do you think we are?"
"Jake," Lauren warned, and he fell silent. "It came out in the family meeting. He told Mum Steph wasn't real so she should stop projecting her anger onto her and that it was outdated and sexist for her to blame women, imaginary or not, for the fuck-ups of her sons. And yes, it was as dramatic as you can imagine. Then he told us, and Mum cried, and everyone hugged and yes, pancakes were made and eaten despite the fact it was 2:45 in the goddamn morning."
My knees felt weak. The phone almost slipped out of my hand. Caleb had told his family. There was something in knowing that anything McCaffrey said wouldn't touch that beautiful part of his life that made me want to weep with relief. Of course, it didn't atone for any of my sins, but I was so elated at this news that I allowed myself a moment of gratitude to the universe for Caleb's happiness. The idea that his exhaustion had stemmed from three AM pancakes and not a full-blown crisis put me at ease. The concept that his relationship with his family had only grown stronger out of this, and he was no longer withholding a part of himself from them made me lightheaded.
At least he'd have them if everything went to shit.
"What's that look for?" Jake sounded baffled, and I realised that I was smiling like an idiot. I shook my expression back to neutral.
"Nothing, I just..." I sighed. "I'm really glad he told you."
Jake peered at me, none of the animosity our conversation had started with left on his face. "Were you guys..."
"No," I pre-empted his question, heart sinking back down to reality. "Never. And never with Lauren either. So, you don't have to worry about me... sliding between your siblings. I mean, I would be so lucky."
"Hey," Lauren warned from the confines of my phone. "You were a perfectly adequate pretend boyfriend. Pity party denied."
"I am so lost," Jake admitted.
A different set of sirens came screaming down the road, signalling that the emergency services had arrived all of five minutes after the alarm had initially been tripped. It was good to know that, in the event of an actual emergency, they were prompt. From our vantage point at the tip of the slopping hill, I saw the fire-truck was pursued by a smaller white van, bearing decorative green lettering up the side. MUM & POP'S REPTILE REMOVAL. I made a quick mental note to look up the company and make a donation to make up for time wasted.
"It's not rocket science Jake," Lauren teased lightly. "Miles has a knack for landing himself in hot water, and I have a knack for pulling him out. And now he's going to make good with Caleb and we can all laugh about this comedy of errors over Christmas dinner one day, many years in the future."
I lowered my gaze, shame bowing his head. "I don't think that's going to happen, Lauren."
"Since when am I responsible for supplying optimism?" she demanded. "Honestly Miles, you ask too much of me."
"No, it's..." I hesitated to tell either of them exactly what had happened while matters were unresolved. While Lauren was level-headed, she'd never forgive me for compromising the happiness of her brother. I knew her rage came in the form of ice-y, prolonged silence. Jake was a wild card. I was still conscious of the six inches he had on me, despite how much he'd deflated thanks to Lauren's verbal dressing down. "I need to set things right. But I don't think we're going to have much to do with each other afterward."
Jake puckered his mouth around the first consonant of why, but we were interrupted by the clatter of the emergency door being shoved open. Jake and I fumbled to look innocent as Miss Riley narrowed her eyes at the both of us. She was wearing a red fire warden's hat and offensively fluorescent vest.
"Mr. Stewart," she said warily, and then with further scepticism, "Mr. Proust. The school has been evacuated." As if we'd been suddenly struck deaf and couldn't hear the shrill alarm undercutting her words, forcing her to shout.
"Yep," I nodded furiously when Jake failed to cut in with an excuse. "Here we are. Evacuated." I made a show of gesturing to the sign fixed to the door, right beside her head, reading EMERGENCY DOOR: DO NOT OPEN. I wasn't trying to be sycophantic, but Miss Riley raised an eyebrow at me nonetheless. Then sighed somewhat dramatically.
"The evacuation point," she seemed to age thirty years to get the sentence out, "Is on the soccer oval. The last fire drill was three weeks ago boys, come on."
I gave her an apologetic smile and she seemed to accept it as an excuse, despite Jake not saying a word and gaping guiltily in a way that was really throwing off my teenage naivety story. She eyed us both, gestured down the hill, and shut the door in our faces. And for all our differences and her pension for sticking her nose in my business, I was very glad there was no real fire or bomb threat or reptile stalking the school because I'd decided a while ago that I liked Miss Riley and was only really coming to terms with it at that moment.
Yeah. She would get a bottle of wine for sure. If I ever graduated.
"All clear?" the phone in my hand chirped, and I was so surprised by Lauren's voice that I nearly dropped her in the dirt.
"Don't you have class?" Jake demanded.
"That depends," Lauren countered. "Are you two capable of carrying on without me?"
Jake and I looked one another up and down. He held up his hands in submission. I nodded gravel, before remembering Lauren could not see this.
"We'll be right," I told her. "Thanks, Lauren."
She was gone in two soft beeps. Jake and I stood awkwardly across from one another, lost without Lauren's guiding presence. Like two distant cousins shoved together at a wedding, told they both liked video games and therefore should get along famously.
"You were looking for me. Before those messages." I felt neutral about breaching the topic, since Jake had lost all his initial swagger – as paper-thin as it had been – but I was conscious that bringing it up could set him off again. Although I was beginning to realise that Jake Proust didn't seem to be all that I'd built him up to be in my head, from that first big-brother chat in the hall. I remembered him helping me split up the fight between Max and his teammate and lying to cover Max's ass without hesitation.
I'd met that Jake first, and at that moment I'd respected him a whole lot more than Caleb. The whole Lauren thing had triggered the, as she'd put it, 'macho posturing' and ruined whatever camaraderie we'd built up, replacing it with primal dread that another person was waiting to kick me in the ribs when I tripped up. That another person was watching me with eagle eyes, primed to discover my secrets and punishing me for them.
"Ah. Yeah," Jake scratched his head, suddenly awkward. "I realised that might have been a mistake when a couple of the guys asked where the fight would be. Look, I wasn't looking to kick your teeth in man. I just wanted some answers."
I narrowed my eyes at him. "What kind of answers?"
"I don't know. I didn't even know what I planned on asking you," he was a little flushed now, bowing his head and it reminded me that he was younger than me despite his stature, deeper in teenage hormones and chaos than either Caleb or I. "Probably something along the lines of, 'You're not planning on going after my mum next, right?'"
His tone was light, jovial, but the implication remained. I buried my face in my cupped hands and swapped out my frustrated scream for a groan at the very last second. "How long have you known?"
Jake looked for a second like he might try playing dumb but did me the solid of not wasting either of our time. "Caleb and I went to Max's party together and... I saw you go into a room together."
I cringed. If Jake had seen us, how many others had seen and interpreted the same thing?
"I wasn't 'following' you at this point I promise. I was just worried about Caleb, he was really far gone," he protested when I looked crestfallen, mistaking the reason for it. "But yeah. I saw you. And then Caleb told me to find my own way home because he was waiting on someone else. And then you didn't come back, and he was... Miles, he was miserable in a way that really wasn't subtle and so I left him in a room and I started asking people if they'd seen you because... I don't know. I was just trying to help my brother."
I swallowed dry, my throat tugging painfully. "What happened after that?"
"I took his phone and his keys so he wouldn't do anything he regretted, and I drove him home," he recalled. "He woke up the next morning, yelled at me for driving his car without permission, and didn't seem to remember anything so I wrote it off as something I'd keep to myself unless he bought it up. Like everything Caleb says to me when he's drunk."
He sounded bitter, but the muted sort, like he was trying to swallow it down. I'd pegged Lauren as the master of observation for working out that her brother wasn't straight, but I hadn't assumed the rest of his family had any idea of it. I hadn't assumed Jake, who played the hardened jock that Caleb wore as a mask so authentically, would have the capacity to work something like that out.
"Then I saw you at school and I tried to get your attention, but you booked it away from me," he continued. "I just wanted to chat."
I put my hands on my hips and raised both eyebrows. It was an expression I usually saved for Sephora. It was far too poised for Miles.
"Okay! So, I wanted some answers. You broke up with my sister on Wednesday and the party was Saturday," he confessed. "It was all starting to feel like an episode of Jerry Springer. Although that version makes a lot more logical sense than whatever actually seems to have gone down."
"Yeah, I have a slot on there, next week. 'Seventeen-Year-Old Virgin Appears To Be Dating Everyone. Is Actually Dating No One. At All," I sighed. It was the kind of joke I usually would have made to Aaron. Or, before our fight, Caleb.
The broken tension put Jake at ease. "So, you and Caleb... definitely not..."
"Saturday was a one-off," I half-lied. It was easier than trying to explain the whole damned history between Caleb and me, which would have to include the invention of Steph, and the revelation of where Caleb had actually been all those nights. As well as our fight. As well as why I was desperate to find him now. "Not, like, an experimental one-off. I am gay. I'd appreciate it if you kept that to yourself."
It was surprising, how easy the words slipped out. After I'd all but choked them out in front of Aaron. They were just words. Facts. As easy as stating my name and phone number, when I put aside the loaded history of the statement, the risk factor there was in saying it to even the people you thought you knew. I wished there was a future where it would be as simple as that. Miles Stewart. 17. 5"5. Gay. Outside dating sites, of course. Or maybe that was the future I was searching for so desperately.
Jake shrugged easily. "Of course, dude. And hey, I'm sorry for freaking you out. Living with Lauren I sometimes forget that I can be. Y'know."
"Imposing?"
"Yeah," he scratched that back of his neck. "You sure as hell wouldn't have been running if Seth came after you."
"I don't know about that," even as young as he was, I was certain Seth Proust could take me off my feet. "Listen, can you do me a favour?"
He looked eager to grasp this olive branch. "What do you need? It's McCaffrey, right? Giving you shit? Consider it done."
"No," I said slowly, after a long pause. Consider what done? "I need to talk to Caleb. Preferably before class goes back. Can you get me in contact?"
Jake looked surprised but willing. He pulled out his phone and began typing. Inside the school, someone had shut off the alarm, and in the distance, I could see teachers finally getting a firm handle on their classes and frogmarching them towards the oval. I jumped nervously, my heels rising and falling on the grass.
"Has he replied?" I asked impatiently when it felt like adequate time had passed.
Raising an inky brow at me, Jake hit send with a soft whoosh.
"Sorry."
Almost instantly, Jake had a reply. I felt a rush of annoyance that Caleb hadn't responded to my messages with that kind of speed, before remembering that all those messages had gone to Jake's phone. Delayed embarrassment roasted my cheeks.
"Well, that's not going to go down well at the next family meeting," Jake murmured to himself.
"What?" I asked, jumping to his side to read over his shoulder. Or, I would have, if I didn't stand half a head below his shoulder; inside I just bounced on my toes at his side, like a little sibling trying to watch the mobile game their brother was playing.
Caleb, or Taxi as he was dubbed in Jake's phone, had responded with a short and sweet;
I'm not at school.
I watched the grey dots bounce as he typed up his follow up.
It's important.
Ever the wordsmith.
Jake shrugged helplessly at me. "I'm sorry. I thought he was past stuff like this. Look, he drops Seth and me off in the same place every morning. Maybe you can intersect him there tomorrow?"
"Maybe," I said distantly. But my mind was spinning.
Caleb had no real reason to ditch school. I'd never know him to do so. His coping mechanism had been sleeping in parks, away from the crowded complex of his family home, not running away from his peers like I had the year before. His friends were his safety blanket, totally naive and convinced that he was who he pretended to be every day.
Unless...
Unless, while I had been standing around making good with his brother, Aidan had gotten to him.
Unless his illusion of hetero conformity was shattered because I hadn't gotten to him in time. Before Aidan made good on his silent promise, in the doorway of Alba's office. I felt ill.
"We should probably get down there," Jake was saying, completely at ease with all his questions answers. He was gesturing... somewhere. I seemed to have lost all sense of direction.
Where was I? Right. Truman Senior High School. An institution representing the conservative majority of our country, who had voted a known homophobe to be their Prime Minister, who had dragged their feet on gay marriage until 2016, who shoved me on the street and spat slurs like greetings and called kids who didn't know how to fix cars fairies and made it such a life-altering decision to tell anyone who you were that people actively chose not to, when given the choice.
An institution that would never have a queer soccer captain, or prom king, or valedictorian, or any of those other things Caleb could be if I had kept my mouth shut.
Fuck.
What in god's name did 'important' mean?