F-ing Perfect - Chapter 50: Chapter 50

"Oh, God, what am I doing?"
Grace said this to herself after parking on the curb a little down the way from what she assumed to be Dana's house based on the address given to her. There was a decent row of cars along the sidewalk, leading Grace to believe that she was one of the last ones there.
Which wasn't really surprising considering she was held back by her father to receive a safety lecture before borrowing his car to the get-together. Guiltily, she opted to lie to him and say that she was going over to Dana's to work on the group project. He was initially skeptical, but when she told him she'd made up with Cal, who would be present there, he warmed up to the idea. He seemed comfortable with her meeting someone he knew.
Little did he know she was going to what would probably end up being a party.
Well, it wouldn't be a big, open party like the one she went to at the end of last year. The one she spotted Will at.
Grace's mouth started going dry at the memory, but she shook off the bad feeling. Dana insisted over text that it was an intimate get-together with people she knew. Will wouldn't be able to blend in like he did before.
Plus, it had been months since he contacted her at this point. Fear still rested in the back of Grace's mind, but she'd almost accepted the fact that maybe he'd just moved on.
She could only hope.
Grace got out of the car, straightening her clothes. Although she'd spent longer than she'd like to admit on her outfit, she just went with a thin sweater, a plaid skirt, and boots. It was nothing fancy, but she shouldn't wear something fancy to this kind of a thing. She had to refrain from getting too out of hand for the sake of catching the attention of...someone at the party.
No, no...she wasn't try to get any attention. She was just going to have fun and meet that boy that Dana told her about. Maybe get some normalcy in her life. And Cal wasn't going to prevent her from doing that. After all, she would apparently have someone to occupy her already.
The thought left a heavy feeling in Grace's stomach, but she ignored it as she headed up to the front door of the house.
She only waited for a brief moment after knocking before the door opened to reveal Dana.
"Grace! I'm so glad you decided to come!" Dana exclaimed.
She seemed to know better than to try to hug Grace, and instead backed up into the house to make room for the honor student. Grace hung up her coat in the rack beside the door at Dana's prompting, and stepped further inside.
Her eyes scanned the interior of the house and she noticed that most of the other guests were in the living room. It was mostly guys, but no one she really recognized. However, she did catch the eye of a boy sitting on a two-seated couch – he was a dark-haired boy with thick glasses. Obviously less confidant and boisterous than the other guys, but he was handsome. He'd probably fall into Grace's type...if she really had one.
As Dana introduced her to the group, she looked to her right and had her attention immediately pulled away to focus on the guest she knew was already there.
Cal was looking sort of wide-eyed at her, as if stunned. She thought she caught the tall blonde's eyes flicker down Grace's body, but Grace felt she must've imagined it. After all, Cal had a cute little redhead situated to her left side, leaning close to her.
Immediately, a pit of irritation bubbled inside of her. She did her best to quell it – Cal was free to do whatever she wanted with whoever she wanted. Plus, Grace guessed the girl was Dana's aforementioned cousin, so the two must've only just met.
Although Cal and Grace exchanged glances, they didn't greet each other, and Dana didn't seem to be pushing it. Instead, the cheerleader brought her over to the nerdy guy who was looking at Grace earlier.
"Grace, this is Owen, my boyfriend's childhood friend," Dana introduced. "Owen, this is Grace, my close friend from school."
Grace shot her an annoyed look at the inaccurate introduction, but then flashed Owen a fake smile. The brown-haired boy seemed a bit entranced by Grace, and his reactions were slow.
"Oh, uh, hi, nice to meet you," he said, sticking out his hand.
The guys next to him snickered at the weirdly formal gesture, but Grace ignored them and took his hand.
"Nice to meet you too."
Dana seemed to be watching Grace closely, and once she'd let go of Owen's hand, the blonde leaned to whisper in the honor student's ear. She pointed to the redhead sitting next to Cal.
"That's my cousin, Sydney," she whispered. "Her and Cal seemed to be getting along pretty well, huh?"
Grace's blood quickly started to boil at the comment and Dana's obvious attempt to rile her up, but she calmed herself down. Getting a reaction was what Dana wanted after all. And Grace wouldn't give her that.
"Yeah, she's very pretty. She seems nice too," Grace replied coolly.
But that didn't seem to do anything to ease Dana's fiendish smirk. "She is. But, anyway, I'm gonna go check on my boyfriend. Maybe yourself at home, Grace."
And with that, the blonde headed over to the young man in question, quickly sticking to his arm.
Grace awkwardly turned back to the four-eyed boy who seemed flustered about being left alone with Grace.
"Oh, um, let me scoot over," he stammered. "There's plenty of room to sit."
Although it was a little closer than Grace's strict bubble normally allowed, she took his offer and sat down. Something in her spurred her to continue interacting with this boy who she'd normally just blow off. And that feeling became worse every time she glanced over at Cal and Sydney.
Grace was pulled from her angry staring by the voice of the boy beside her.
"So, um...you're friends with Dana?" he asked, trying desperately to come up with a conversation topic.
"I guess you could say that," she replied. "We kind of run in different circles."
"Ah, yeah, that's kind of how I am with Isaac. We grew up on the same block, but he was always sportsy and popular and I was always more of a bookworm, I guess."
Grace perked up a little at their shared situations. She was only expecting to meet annoying jocks and cheerleaders at this get-together. But this boy seemed to be more her speed.
"You like books?" she asked, just kind of casually throwing a bone to see if they could get a more comfortable conversation going. "What kind?"
"Oh, just like the classics," he replied. "It's kinda boring, but I ended up loving the stuff we'd have to read in class. Like Fahrenheit 451, 1984, Of Mice and Men..."
"I don't think it's boring," Grace said, a bit intrigued. "My classmates used to make fun of me for liking assigned reading. But my mom was a teacher, so she got me into that stuff."
"That's awesome! I feel like no one really likes to read anymore."
They fell into a lengthy conversation about books and how unpopular they were to high schoolers. Grace actually found herself...enjoying it. It had been a while since she'd connected quickly with a stranger, much less a boy. And Owen was very similar to her in many ways – he was just nicer and easier to approach.
As they chatted happily, Grace kept feeling eyes bore into the side of her face. She would sometimes glance back over to the other side of the room where Cal was sitting with Sydney. It seemed like every time she looked, Sydney would be inching closer to Cal, placing a hand on her arm or talking right next to her ear. So she drowned her pain in her conversation with Owen.
Eventually, the talk was interrupted by Dana who walked into the living room wielding a massive bowl of popcorn.
"Alright, movie time!" she announced.
Apparently the boy who the get-together was for, the one who was leaving the school, loved horror movies, so Dana put on a recently released one.
Instead of making people sit in uncomfortable folding chairs, Dana set out some floor cushions and blankets. Cal and Sydney, who were originally in the chairs, moved to the floor, and Grace found it difficult to take her eyes off them.
Grace and Owen remained on the couch, and as the lights were dimmed and the movie was started, Owen seemed to get visibly nervous. Although Grace was rather impartial to the boy, she felt unable to share his anxiety, and was rather unaffected by their proximity. In a way, it frustrated Grace. It seemed like instead of getting fluttery feelings for Owen, she always had half of her attention focused on Cal.
The movie didn't make things much better. Whenever there was even the slightest jump scare, Sydney would yelp and cling onto Cal. Every time it happened Grace could feel her blood boil. She tried her best to focus on the movie or on Owen, but it was increasingly difficult. They were always in her field of view as she watched the television screen.
However, one of her bouts of anger was interrupted by a warm sensation creeping near her shoulders. Owen had leaned back and put his arm over the back of the couch behind Grace. The honor student froze, unsure of what to do. But as she saw Sydney cling to Cal one more time and not let go, she allowed the boy to settle his arm directly over his shoulders.
At almost the exact time, Cal happened to look back, and she immediately noticed the action. Her mouth was formed in a straight line, with a look in her eyes that Grace couldn't quite recognize. She quickly returned her attention to the TV, leaving the brunette to wonder what she was really thinking.
I have to stop focusing on her, Grace told herself. It's time to move on and let go. Finally.
---
The movie wasn't particularly long, but it was still around midnight when it ended. Grace contemplated going home, but in a way she was content just sitting on the couch with Owen.
That is, until Dana appeared from the kitchen with a large bottle of clear liquid and a 12-pack of beer.
"Alright, Dana!" one guy cheered, and several boys flocked over to the table Dana set the drinks on.
Grace immediately stiffened. Sure, it wasn't a huge party, but Dana was still planning to pull the alcohol out? Grace hated underage drinking!
"I'll be right back," Grace told Owen, and he lifted his arm off her, looking a bit confused.
She stalked over to Dana, pulling her away from the commotion at the table.
"Dana, what the fuck is this?" she loudly whispered.
Dana put her hands up as if innocent. "Hey, it's a bunch of jocks! You don't have to drink if you don't want to."
"Of course I don't want to!" Grace exclaimed. "And I do not want to be around some drunken losers who get busted by the cops from a noise complaint! Where are your parents!?"
"They're out on a ski-trip." Dana smiled. "But you're free to go home whenever you like, Grace."
"Of course I'm going ho-" Grace was cut off when she saw Cal out of the corner of her eye, so she turned to watch the tall girl, accompanied by Sydney, pour a shot glass full of the clear liquor, and drink it.
What is she doing? What an idiot! I never thought she'd be like this!
Dana followed Grace's angry gaze. "Hey, don't try to kill her with your eyes, Grace. She's just having a little fun."
"Fun? What is fun about a goddamn crime?!"
Dana's smile seemed to falter, and Grace could sense what almost seemed like a bit of frustration with the honor student. This unusual display of honesty kind of shocked Grace. "Look, Grace, we're just relaxing and letting loose a little. I know you don't normally do that, but like I said – you're free to go home whenever."
And with that, Dana stalked off to join the crowd at the table once again.
She acts like I don't know how to have fun, Grace thought bitterly. I know all about fun! You don't need controlled substances to have fun! It's stupid! It's what dumb jocks and cheerleaders do!
But seeing Cal take that swig of liquor planted a seed of uncertainty in Grace. Maybe she was too uptight. She'd go through her entire teen years not really breaking a rule, not being even the slightest bit rebellious. She only valued her school work, really.
Maybe that's why she couldn't be with Cal.
The thought instantly made Grace upset, and she found her body automatically walking towards the table.
I can have fun, Grace thought. But I'll prove that this isn't necessary.
She opted to just take a beer, figuring that alone couldn't hurt her. At some point, Owen was pressured by his friends to take several shots, and the boy obviously wasn't handling it well.
Alone on the couch sipping her beer, Grace's head became fuzzy far quicker than she expected. Maybe it was because she'd never drank before? But, honestly, this drink was disgusting. How did anyone like beer at all?
She thought that, but kept taking sips nonetheless, feeling fuzzier and fuzzier.
The other party-goers started playing drinking games, and since Grace was now alone in the living room, she headed over to the table where most everyone was. However, on the way, she bumped into another body, spilling the small remainder of her beer on her shirt.
"Huh? What the hell, watch where you're-" Grace's voice caught in her throat when she looked up to see Cal's figure towering over her.
She was obviously inebriated, standing a bit off balanced with eyes occassionally going out of focus.
Enraged that the drink got on her shirt and that she was bumped into, Grace shoved Cal away before she could get her faculties together.
"Hey, watch the fuck out!" she warned.
Cal's face instantly turned sour. "Huh? You ran into me!"
"As if!" Grace snapped back. "You're always in my way! No matter where I'm walking, you always seem to be there, running into me like an idiot!"
Cal gritted her teeth, ready to fire back, before someone cleared their throat nearby.
Standing next to them was Dana's boyfriend, giving them a stern look.
"Everything alright here, ladies?" he asked. He didn't seem to be the slightest bit tipsy, and Grace recounted how Dana said he hated parties. Maybe he just hated boisterous drunks.
"Y-yeah, everything's fine," Cal replied. Then she put an arm over Grace's shoulders, pulling her close. Grace flushed furiously at the action, and she couldn't help but compare it to the sensation of Owen putting his arm around her. If they could even be compared. "She's just not used to drinking, so I was helping her to the bathroom."
Isaac looked between the two of them suspiciously for a second. "Alright. The bathroom's down the hall to the right."
"Thank you," Cal said, turning around to haul Grace in the direction he indicated.
Grace protested the whole time, but Cal persisted until she shoved her into the bathroom, following suit and closing the door behind them.
"What's your problem? Are you trying to make a scene or –"
Cal was interrupted when Grace crashed into her, shoving her back against the door. "Don't make it seem like I'm the only one drunk. You obviously are too!"
Cal seemed to flush a little at their closeness, but lightly shoved Grace away. "So what? I'm not the one acting like an idiot."
"Okay, well you're embarrassing yourself, hanging all over that red-headed chick!" Grace argued. "Making everyone uncomfortable about it!"
"You were doing the same with that nerd guy! And I think your behavior right now is the only thing making everyone uncomfortable!"
"Oh, get off your high horse! Just because you've partied so much more than me doesn't mean you handle yourself better when there's a bunch of alcohol!"
"Who says I've partied a lot?" Cal fired back. "And who says I had a bunch of alcohol! You're just mad that I'm getting along with Dana's cousin!"
Grace reeled, markedly upset at how spot-on Cal was. But she wasn't about to admit the fact. "Oh, don't act like you weren't staring at me when I was with Owen! Why can't you just butt out and get over me!"
Cal seethed, her fists balled and her face red. Grace was worried that she was about to get legitimately angry, and she regretted being so harsh. However, Grace was astonished when she saw tears escaping from the taller girl's eyes.
"Yeah," she replied, quick to wipe at the little bits of moisture coating her upper cheek. "Yeah, so what? I can't get over it! Every time I see you, I wish I could just talk to you and touch you like I used to. I get upset that things can't be how they used to be, even months after we broke up. I'm fucking pathetic!"
Grace was completely frozen in shock, just taking in the uncharacteristically vulnerable state of the blonde. She opened her mouth, but it took a second for a coherent word to come out. "C-Cal, I-"
Before she could finish, Cal interrupted. "I even tried to get along with Dana's cousin and just, you know, give it a try, but it's just...it's not the same. All that goes through my head when she talks or touches me is how much better it'd be if it was you..."
The admission sent a complete chill throughout Grace's body. It was difficult to process with a brain fuzzy from alcohol, but the reality of Cal's words still caused a visceral reaction. Different responses flashed quickly through her brain and she found herself being torn between all of them.
So, eventually, she just let her body make the decision, slamming herself into Cal and crashing their lips together.
The moment their skin touched, Grace's whole body was set ablaze. Cal took a split second in stunned stillness, but soon quickly reciprocated the kiss, their lips moving together like a dance they had long since practiced, but still had memorized.
Cal immediately leaned down and wrapped her arms around Grace's waist – the small motion, in Grace's hazy state, elicited a small moan. The sound seemed to spur the taller girl on, and she tightened her grip, shoving her tongue into Grace's mouth.
All of this sudden action was leaving Grace nearly gasping for breath, but she kept their lips connected, overcome by desire. The experience was exciting, arousing, shocking...but most of all, it was familiar. And Grace could never have realized just how desperately she'd missed Cal's touch.
In the back of her mind, she knew this was a terrible idea, and horribly out of character. Grace Jordan never lost her cool, never lost to any animalistic desires. But here she was, and honestly, she couldn't care less about how Grace Jordan was supposed to be acting. It was just about her and Cal in that very moment.
Cal leaned off of the door and started walking Grace backwards until the shorter girl's lower back hit the edge of the bathroom sink. The blonde separated their mouths, eliciting a pang of disappointment in Grace before she felt lips on her throat. The brunette bit her bottom lip, trying her best not to let out any embarrassing noises like before.
Cal kissed up her jawline, nibbling her earlobe a little. Grace felt her knees go weak at the sensation, and she was grateful that she had the support of both the edge of the sink and Cal's body to keep her standing. Cal moved back to the front of her face, staring into her eyes for a second, before giving her a slow, close-mouthed kiss on the lips.
She pulled away, and there was a look that Grace had never seen before on her face – a mix of pain, uncertainty, longing, relief...but also something soft and ethereal that Grace couldn't quite recognize.
"God, I missed you so much, Grace," she whispered, and Grace felt tingly down to her fingertips.
"I...me too," Grace echoed, but she couldn't continue looking Cal in the eyes, blushing at her admission and the whole situation.
"Are you feeling okay?" Cal asked, her voice suddenly morphing into a tone of concern. "Did you drink too much?"
Grace chuckled a bit awkwardly. "Hah...I only had, like, one beer."
"I was really surprised that you drank," Cal commented quietly. "What made you decide to?"
Grace slowly looked up, reveling in the taller girl's beautiful green eyes once more. "I just...felt like a loser. I never try to just...let loose and have fun, I guess. Maybe I thought that's why..."
Grace lowered her head once more, suddenly feeling close to crying.
Cal leaned closer, her voice even softer and gentler. "Why, what?" She lightly touched Grace's cheek with her hand.
"Maybe that's why...we broke up," Grace whispered. "Because I'm just afraid to let myself go and start...enjoying life again. And I was worried you'd start hating me for it...when I thought about how much not-fun I must be, I just grabbed a beer. Stupid...I know."
"Grace," Cal breathed, putting her finger under Grace's chin to gently lift it. She laughed, a bit breathless, but the quiet sound warmed Grace's heart. "How could that be? The most fun I've ever had has been with you."
Grace just stared at her, unable to speak, her eyes growing damp. Her heart throbbed with reassurance after hopelessly believing that Cal had moved on and left her behind.
Leaning in, their heated kiss continued, teeth sometimes clashing in the renewed desperation. Grace threw her arms around Cal's shoulders, Cal gripping Grace's waist tighter, pressing their bodies as close as physically possible.
Grace flinched and gasped when she felt Cal move a knee between her thighs, one of her hands trailing to the smaller girl's lower back and then farther down.
Things were moving unexpectedly fast, but Grace couldn't seem to help herself getting caught up in the flow. A fire burned inside of her, one that had started as only a spark long ago and erupted into a full blown inferno at that moment. The only thing she wanted, the only thing on her mind, was Cal.
One of the blonde's hands started sneaking up Grace's sweater, and the latter almost yelped at the touch of her palm on bare skin. They were almost certainly getting too out of control now, but the two of them were still under the alcohol's spell, caught up in their newly renewed emotions.
Cal continued to travel her hand upwards, Grace holding her breath, but once her bra touched the blonde's fingertips, Cal paused. She parted their lips and stared Grace in the eyes, her own green orbs becoming focused with a new sense of clarity. She retracted, as if having just touched a hot stove.
"W-what are we doing?" she breathed, almost trembling.
Grace held the sides of the sink behind her to prevent herself from falling to the floor. Both of them had a disheveled appearance, and the sudden physical distance was causing Grace to sober up a little as well.
"Being stupid," Grace breathed out, still coming off of her high from all of the touching and closeness.
"Fuck, Grace...we're drunk, we can't be doing this," Cal said, seeming to suddenly become agitated. Her hands tangled in her hair as a million thoughts seemed to be going through her mind. Grace thought it must've been overwhelming her.
"What are you saying?" Grace asked, a little dazed.
"Shit," Cal said. Before Grace could reach out and grab her, the tall girl flew out of the bathroom and was gone.
Suddenly overcome with emotion, Grace slowly slid down the side of the sink until she was sitting on the floor. Tears pricked from her eyes.
"Fuck..."