F-ing Perfect - Chapter 54: Chapter 54

Night was still relatively cold in March, and Grace was getting a full taste of the chilly air as she stood next to her car by the park.
Ah, hurry up! She thought, her teeth chattering.
Perhaps this was all just a very bad idea. It was completely on a whim, and to the well-planned, meticulous Grace, anything done on a whim was a bad idea.
And yet, here she was, freezing her ass off as she waited to meet her ex-girlfriend to come reopen old wounds.
There were better things to do on a Friday night.
But when she finally caught sight of the tall blonde, jogging through across the street to the park's interior, her heart went wild. Grace couldn't bring herself to confront Cal during school hours – it was a blessing their sociology class had been canceled. But there was no more dodging around the subject, and Grace knew this talk had to take happen now.
As Cal ran up to her, the memory of the last time they met in this location flashed before Grace's eyes. She blushed, remembering their little night rendezvous only days after getting together and kissing for the first time.
"Hey, sorry it took so long," Cal gasped, out of breath.
"You didn't have to literally run here," Grace muttered, blushing at their now close proximity.
"I was just – hah – surprised," the taller girl breathed. "I thought you didn't want to talk to me at all after yesterday."
"Oh, give me some credit," Grace snapped, trying to mask her embarrassment. "I was just waiting for the right time...or place. And school obviously wasn't going to cut it."
"Yeah, I can understand that," Cal said, brushing stray hairs from her face.
Grace took a moment to take in the other girl's appearance. She was definitely disheveled, wearing a haphazardly thrown-on hoodie and sweatpants. Her hair was tied up as usual, but it was messy with strands sticking up left and right. It definitely reminded Grace of the way she looked the last time they had an unplanned meeting in the park.
"I know I look like shit," Cal remarked, noticing Grace's wandering gaze.
"N-no, that's not what I-" Grace coughed awkwardly. "Look, let's just get down to business. We've been avoiding this topic long enough."
"I agree."
"Right...so..."
Fuck, where did Grace even start? This was so horribly awkward and impulsive. Who should talk about their feelings first? The brunette was afraid to do so in the event that Cal didn't feel the same way she did. If that happened, it would be difficult to recover from.
Cal appeared to be searching for the right words herself. But neither of them were making the first move and it was getting colder by the second.
"Ah, come on Grace, you're shivering like crazy," Cal said. Grace hardly had time to react before the tall blonde lifted her arms to take her hoodie off. She held it the neck hole open to slide over Grace's head, stepping forward to do so.
But Grace stepped back, putting her arms up defensively.
"N-no, I don't need it!" she warned. Cal was only wearing a t-shirt underneath and was certain to get cold without the hoodie. And yet she removed it without a second thought, like it was automatic.
Cal paused, blinking, obviously caught off guard by the outburst.
"See, this is why I hate you!" Grace yelled, suddenly riled up. Her entire body was on fire, shaken by the kind gesture shown amidst several months of animosity.
It was oh so familiar, so typical of Cal. Just like that time at the school bonfire when she offered up her hoodie. Just like when she comforted Grace at the party when she was a mess after spotting Will there. It was so frustrating how the girl continued to show her kindness, continued to crush her defenses as she behaved like the mean girl Cal once told her she hated.
"Why are you being nice to me?" Grace continued, her voice anguished. "We're fighting right now. Even those stupid kisses don't reverse all the time we spent arguing and avoiding each other! Why are you acting like there's still something between us?"
Cal tensed as if she was prepared to fire back, but she breathed in and her shoulders relaxed. "Because...there is something, isn't there?"
"How so?" Grace challenged.
Cal stepped forward again, so Grace stepped back.
"We wouldn't have kissed that night at Dana's party if there wasn't," Cal replied calmly. She continued to hold the hoodie in her hands as if she was still worried about Grace's body temperature. And knowing her, she certainly was.
"Then why did you avoid me after that?" Grace argued, not giving in. "You think a k-kiss in the study room would make up for it?"
"I was just scared of fighting again," Cal explained. Her voice was calm, but her eyes were shimmering with a sense of fear. The same kind that was reflected in Grace's.
"Why? That's what we always do anyway. What's there to be scared of?"
"Because..." Cal paused, looking down as she found the right words the say. "When it comes to you, I'm always scared..."
"...why?"
Cal cracked a sideways smile, the expression not reaching her eyes as she locked them once more with Grace's. "You keep asking all the questions. I think it's my turn."
Grace held her breath, unable to speak. As goosebumps riddled her arms, Cal finally managed to slip the hoodie over her head. She pushed her arms through, her senses filled with the smell of Cal on the fabric. It overwhelmed her, rendering her further speechless.
Now Cal was standing directly in front of her, looking down. Her cheeks were red, and she appeared nervous but unwilling to run away.
There would be no more running.
"During all this time, did you ever...miss me?" Cal breathed, hardly above a whisper.
In that moment, she was more vulnerable than Grace had ever seen her. She was pulling her heart out of her chest and setting it before Grace, giving her the power to do whatever she wanted with it.
Grace opened her mouth, but words didn't come out immediately. She shook her head and finally choked out what she wanted to say. "How...how can you ask me that?"
"How could I not?" Cal returned. "The point of this is to talk after all. I need to hear things in your own words."
Grace blushed, wanting so badly to step back and return to her comfort zone where she couldn't be hurt. But if she did, this would be over for good...
She shook her head again, tears threatening to escape from her eyes. "Every day. I...I missed you every day."
"Missed?"
"Missed, miss, will miss, all of the above!" Grace affirmed, her voice now wavering.
A wave of relief seemed to wash over Cal's eyes and she quickly reached forward and pulled Grace into a hug.
At first, the action took Grace's breath away, but her surprise soon morphed into pure comfort. The feeling of Cal's body heat seemed to have that effect on her. She was certainly tearing up now, happy to bury her face into Cal's arm so the taller girl couldn't see.
"I miss you, too," Cal breathed, sounding tired and a bit desperate. "For a while I thought for sure I was the only one."
"Nope," Grace replied, her voice still cracking. "I just can't get your stupid face out of my head."
Cal laughed, then tightened her arms around the smaller brunette.
They stayed like that for what felt like several minutes, just silent. It felt like time was standing still in that moment, and Grace found the prospect of letting go harder and harder. Their relationship had been so tumultuous that it seemed like doing so could risk never getting to do it again.
But they weren't done yet.
Cal pulled away, her eyes a bit watery as well.
"So...what should we do now?" she asked, reaching down to hold Grace's hands in her's.
"Honestly...I'm tired of the fighting and avoiding each other and all that," Grace replied.
Cal hesitated, looking more shy than Grace had ever really seen her. "Then should we...try to make it work again?"
Grace smiled, small, but more genuine than she'd done in a very long time with Cal. "Yes..."
Grace's heart positively melted when the blonde's mouth broke into a huge smile. She pulled the honor student into yet another hug, this one bone-crushing. She swung them around, Grace holding onto her sides for dear life.
"Ah, shit, I never thought this would happen!" Cal exclaimed excitedly.
"C-Cal, you're crushing me!"
She just laughed, radiating with a happiness that Grace couldn't help but share. She finally got her fill and released Grace ever so slightly so their faces were in front of each other.
Then, slowly, they inched closer until their lips were touching.
Like the one they shared the day before, this kiss was initially slow and un-rushed. Cal's mouth tasted like mint, as if she'd just brushed her teeth for the night before getting called out to meet.
Grace reached up and wrapped her arms around Cal's neck, standing on her tiptoes. Cal relieved some her of the effort by leaning down more. It reminded Grace of that joke they shared about breaking their backs and toes from the last time they kissed in this park.
Although Grace's body was heated, she took her time to just savor the moment – that was, until she felt something touch her lower lip.
Flinching, she instinctively opened her mouth, Cal's tongue quickly invading. The second their tongues touched, the mood shifted so dramatically that Grace got light-headed. Suddenly they were clinging to each other's clothes, breathing erratic and hearts racing.
Still, in the mist of the haze and lust, the logical side of Grace's brain struggled to the forefront. She pulled their lips apart with all of her willpower, still holding onto Cal, not trusting her shaky legs to keep her steady.
"Ah, Cal, we're in a public place," she breathed when Cal started kissing the side of her jaw.
Cal froze and pulled her head back. She quickly looked around, sighing in relief when she saw no one nearby. "Shit, you're right. Sorry...I just got a little carried away."
"No...I did, too..."
Cal's face was still flushed and her breathing was still heavy. The look on her eyes was familiar, but also more intense than Grace had seen before. Grace wondered if she was giving off a similar gaze...she was certainly feeling like she was.
"I just...since we just got back t-together, I suddenly really want...shit, nevermind." Cal caught herself, looking as embarrassing as she was aroused.
In spite of the fact that they'd been on bad terms for months and had only dated for a fraction of that, they'd still been around each other for basically the entire time. Weeks of tension and frustration were suddenly toppling down on them all at once, and the fact that they now knew each other's feelings made it all even worse. Especially since there was the prospect of now finally being able to get some sort of relief for those bottled up feelings...
But they were in a public park. With nowhere to go. And they'd literally just agreed to start dating again.
"Look..." Grace began, trying her best to keep her wits about her. "We don't need to rush into anything...we have plenty of time."
A look of guilt crossed Cal's face and she seemed to calm down a little. "You're right. I'm sorry."
Grace cracked a little smile, pecking Cal on the lips. "You don't have to be. I feel the same way, after all."
"Really?"
"Of course, stupid."
"You're making it harder to 'not rush into anything'."
"Then let's go home. It's getting late, anyway."
Cal instantly pouted, and Grace couldn't help but laugh at her.
"What are you, twelve?" she teased.
"At heart." Cal flashed her signature lop-sided smile. Then a look of excitement suddenly crossed her face. "Wait a minute, tomorrow's spring break! We could totally hang out!"
Grace shared her excitement for a split second before immediately becoming disappointed. "Ah, shit, actually my family's going skiing this weekend."
As predicted, Cal's face dropped. "Oh."
"But we can hang out after that...my brothers are going to my grandparent's house for most of spring break."
"You're not?"
"Well...I could find a way to get out of it."
Grace was just craving time for them to be alone together. She need to erase all the months of bad memories between them.
Cal looked equally as eager to do so. "What day, then?"
"Hm...how about Tuesday? That's the day they're leaving."
Cal beamed, and Grace thought about how much she missed that expression being directed at her. The taller girl moved in to kiss her again, cupping her cheek. But before their lips touched, she whispered:
"Tuesday sounds perfect."