Fake Dating My Ex's Favourite Hockey Player - Chapter 59: Chapter 59

EMILIA
What the hell do I even say to that?
I just... stare at him. Like an idiot. My mouth opens, but no words come out.
Liam gives me this small, sad smile — dimples and all — and somehow that’s worse. It knocks the air right out of my lungs.
“You don’t have to say anything,” he murmurs. His thumb brushes lightly against my hand, like he’s trying to memorize the feel of me. “I didn’t say it because I expected you to.”
A million responses spin through my brain — yes, no, maybe, kiss me — but none of them make it out.
So instead, I blurt out, “I still don’t forgive you.”
His lips twitch. “Deserved.”
“And you’re going to have to work for it,” I add, trying — and failing — to sound stern.
Liam leans in just a little, like he can’t help himself. His voice drops low, almost like a secret. “Well,” he says, that crooked smile stealing the air from my lungs, “I’d look better begging on my knees anyway.”
My heart absolutely short-circuits. And judging by the wicked glint in his eyes, he knows it, too. “I can start now, if that’s what you’d prefer,” he murmurs, his voice all low and teasing.
My cheeks burn so hot I’m pretty sure I’m going to catch fire.
I open my mouth to say something — anything — but all that comes out is a squeaky, “Y-you can let go now!”
I start wriggling in his arms, desperate to escape before I die of embarrassment. It only makes him laugh — a deep, warm sound that sends shivers down my spine — and his arms tighten around me instead.
“Let me go!” I squeal, pushing against him.
He doesn’t even pretend to listen. No, he plays dirty — so dirty — tickling my sides until I actually shriek.
“Please! Please! I surrender! I’m sorry!” I gasp between giggles, thrashing in his hold.
He finally relents, but not before pressing his forehead gently against mine, still laughing. “Do you like watching the rain?”
“Huh?”
Later, we’re standing side-by-side on the balcony, tucked beneath the shelter but close enough that the wind sometimes blows tiny raindrops onto my skin.
The air smells fresh and sweet.
Every now and then, Liam’s arm brushes against mine.
And every time it happens, my heart jumps like it’s trying to escape my chest.
I wonder what it’ll be like when I don’t have his scent clinging to me anymore — the warmth of his sweater, the quiet safety of standing close to him — like some stubborn part of me already knows I’ll miss it before it’s even gone.
Because it will be gone. Like most things, soon enough.
The water below is the deepest blue I’ve ever seen, blending into the sky until it’s hard to tell where one ends and the other begins.
From time to time, I catch Liam sneaking glances at me, like he’s trying to memorize me without getting caught.
Honestly, it’s a little terrifying. Who the hell lays their heart out so casually like that?
Unless it’s all just pretend.
My lips curl bitterly. “Don’t you think this would be the perfect time for a smoke?”
Liam gives me a look, curious and a little amused. “Do you smoke?”
“Not at all, but it kind of matches the aesthetic, right?” He just shakes his head silently, a smile on his lips. I tug at the neckline of his hoodie playfully. “It’s really warm. Thank you.”
The look he gives me is intense “It looks perfect on you,” he says quietly. His voice is rough around the edges, so full of meaning it makes my heart stutter. “I should be the one thanking you.”
My mind’s a mess, a conflict of what I think and what I feel. It’s all too sudden, it makes no sense. I want to ask so many things, but I find I’m comfortable staying in the dark. “I can’t run a mile without passing out.”
I don’t look at him. “I have the stamina of a pregnant sloth on a meat-only diet. Tessa signed us both for a gym membership a few months ago, but I gave up after I nearly died on a treadmill a week later. And I find myself thinking, if maybe I hadn’t given up, was just a little stronger, Stone wouldn’t be walking right now.”
I hear Liam suck in a sharp breath. “No, maybe not. I think I would have fought then ran away. I would have frozen up halfway through and broke down somewhere only kinda safe. So I guess the problem is me.
“I think I’m past the point of being afraid now. Now I’m just mad. Mad that things like this always happen to me and that each time I’m either too weak or too much of a coward to actually do something about it.”
My chest tightens. I hug myself, swallowing the lump in my throat. “I keep thinking… if it was Tessa, what would she have done?” I shake my head. “She definitely wouldn’t have fought to get away. She would have fought to hurt him as much as he was trying to hurt her. Sometimes — no, most times — I’m so fucking jealous of her.”
I finally look at him, the expression on his face is pained. “I should have killed him.”
I laugh bitterly. “No, I should have. That’s the real problem, Liam.”
The air feels heavy between us. Raindrops tap softly against the balcony railing.
“And you know what?” I say, my voice raw. “Every horrible thing that's ever happened to me…”
I look him straight in the eye, even though it hurts.
“It’s either something I brought upon myself… or it somehow ties back to hockey.”
My chest feels like it’s splitting open.
“Hockey’s given me nothing but pain. Hurt. And more heartbreak than I know what to do with.”
Liam steps closer, so close I can feel the heat of him even though the night air is freezing.
His hand brushes against mine — slow, gentle — like he’s asking for permission.
I squeeze my eyes shut and pull away.
It hurts.
God, it hurts.
I keep my gaze on the ground, too scared to meet his eyes. “I know you said I didn’t have to give you an answer," I say, voice barely above a whisper. "But... this is it, Liam. I’m walking away. I’m putting hockey behind me.”
There’s a long pause.
Then his voice, soft but rough around the edges: “And what does that mean for me?”
I open my eyes, heart hammering so loud it’s all I can hear.
“I’m putting this behind too,” I say, forcing the words out before I can change my mind. “Whatever you think you feel for me — whether it’s real or not — it doesn’t matter.”
Liam’s jaw tightens. His hands curl into fists at his sides. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“It means we stick to the contract. Nothing more.” For a second, he just stares at me like I’ve ripped something out of him.
And I see it — the pain in his eyes — so raw, so real.
And it kills me because I don’t understand why.
Why he’d pretend to care so much about someone like me.
“But, Emilia,” he says, stepping even closer, “have you ever thought... maybe it’s not your fault? Maybe the people who hurt you are the ones to blame? Maybe you’re just a victim of their cruelty—”
“Yet still a victim!” I scream, cutting him off.
The word feels ugly in my mouth.
Heavy. Shameful.
Liam’s eyes blaze. “And there’s nothing wrong with that!” he fires back. “There’s no shame in surviving, Emilia!”
I huff, my chest rising. “You don’t understand anything.”
The air between us crackles, full of anger and something else — something deeper.
He takes a shaking breath, fighting for control. “I’ll respect your decision. I swear I will.”
His voice drops to a raw whisper. “But if you think for a second that your guilt... your fear... your walls... are going to stop me from caring about you, then you don’t know me at all.”
My heart pounds so hard it hurts.
“I’ll chase you, Emilia Janice Carter,” he says, like a promise. “I’ll chase you — patiently, endlessly — until every scar you have remembers what it’s like to feel safe again. Until every broken memory you carry... is rewritten with nothing but me.”
He disappears for a moment, leaving me cold and aching.
Then he’s back, draping a soft throw blanket around my shoulders like it’s the easiest thing in the world.
His hands linger for a second longer than they should, warm against the fabric. “You shouldn’t have to be cold,” he says quietly, “I’ll draw you a bath.” He looks at me for a moment, then pinches my cheek. His lips pull into a breathtaking smile. “Here, your phone’s been going off nonstop. Thought you might want to check that.”
He slips my phone into my hand, then leaves, closing the sliding doors quietly behind him.