Falling For My Exchange Brother | B... - Chapter 57: Chapter 57

"How is he doing?" I croak, the doctor walking into the hospital room as Arthur still was on the hospital bed. His heart monitor normal to say the least, yet he shouldn't be here...
"It looks like his records are spectacular. He should have waked up days - if not a week ago. This is very unusual. So we are planning on taking him to get a check up if there's anything that's not how it should be."
I nod, staring down at him as this felt longer than two years. The disconnection that tugged at my heart strings from everything else was scary.
Couldn't even take care of myself and all I can manage is the twins. I go home and help them with anything and we eat. I still have Bella sleeping over so that I can come back to the hospital to sleep beside Arthur.
Yet all I can do is have tears streaming down my cheeks. Looking at him, and not feeling his arms hug me tightly to him. His lips would kiss me and whenever I woke up to use the restroom I'd come back and Arthur would be awake...waiting for me.
I shouldn't be here... If I never stayed in bed I could be with Arthur. He told me to stay in bed and that he would go to deliver the clothes himself - that he didn't want to wake me. Though in the end I should've objected, and I didn't.
This makes me hate myself even more than I already do. It doesn't help that I'm pregnant.
....
Why is it always him that suffers at my expense?
____a week ago____
"Why did I get so lucky with you?"
I stare at Arthur as he smiled at me. I was very clingy to him now. Ever since he made it very clear that he doesn't mind hearing every single one of my thoughts... I've told him everything.
Now I can sit before him with a peace of mind. The nightmares are less frequent and I'm happy to say that I feel better. I can thank Arthur for helping me feel this good.
"I could say the same about you. We should really thank your parents more often." He says to me as he was reorganizing drawers for any old clothes we don't need.
"My parents would be cocky if we did that." I snort, and I open one of the drawers. "Let me help!"
I yank out some clothes as I throw them on the bed. Arthur watching me with a big smile as I go and close the drawer now. Smirking at him, he clapped his hands at my small actions.
"Impressive. That's what I like to call 'cute without trying'." He teases me, and I felt my face become a little warm. "Really though. Want to help me sort clothes?"
"You're doing this by choice? Just giving away some of our clothes to where exactly?"
"Goodwill." He reminds me, and I nod. "It's for a good cause. We don't wear half of the clothes we have. Let's be selfless."
I sigh as I pick up a gray long-sleeved shirt.
"Some of these shirts have memories attached to them. You want to just...give that up for poor people?" I question him, and Arthur clicks his tongue.
"'Poor people' is the wrong choice of words, mon amour." He states, a teasing frown on his face.
"I mean...the people who are less fortunate than you and me." I correct myself, and he gives me a thumbs-up. "I meant what I said before I said those 'wrong choice of words'."
"I know; but we are about to have a child. We'll create new memories with him. Not that the old memories need to be erased with new ones, but these clothes can go off and make new memories with others." He explains to me, and I toss aside the grey shirt.
"I see... If we are going to do it like that - then here." I toss aside all the shirts onto the floor. Arthur watched as I just took out all the shirts and threw them on the floor.
I grin at him, and I saw that he was folding them into a bag. Automatically making me feel bad as he stared down at the large pile longingly.
"Oh...we're not just shoving them in bags?" I ask, and he shook his head no. "Why didn't you stop me?"
I start to pick them back up some of them and fold them with him.
"Because it was cute. You looked like you were having a good time making a mess. Seems like you don't get the chance often enough." Arthur states, and looks at the clock. "I have to take these in tomorrow morning. Would you be down to do that with me?"
I nod quickly, and start folding faster.
"You don't really wake up in the morning. I'm leaving at seven - is that too early?" He asks of me, and I shook my head.
"Of course not! I'm going! I'm sticking to you like a baby koala sticks to its mother." I exclaim, and he smiles.
"I won't object. That means the twins will have to come. They're helping too - this will be fun!" Arthur claps his hands with excitement. He was actually excited about all of this.
I liked seeing him happy. He's helped me when I needed it most and now I just want to see him always smiling. I am honestly beyond thankful for him. I love him too much...
"Arthur I love you." I say to him, and he chuckles.
"I love you too."
"Yeah, but I love you a lot. Like... Tyrannosaurus - a lot." I murmur all shyly, and found myself blushing. Almost swaying slightly - that's how shy I was.
Arthur looked shy too as he seemed to mimic my movements too.
"That's a lot of love William." He croaks, and I see him take a deep breath. "But I love you a lot too. Like...Blue Whale - a lot. Like the size of my love...amounts to the size of a Blue Whale."
He shook his head wildly, nodding as if that was an insane amount. I smiled because that was a lot.
"Arthur you make my love amount to nothing." I whine playfully, immediately seeing him apologize as if he didn't mean to do that. "I'm just kidding."
He points at me, shaking his finger in the process with a pout. We both laugh as we go back to folding clothes and talking.
This was nice...no - this is more than nice. He reminds me all the time - without realizing it - how much I...love him. I need to say it more often.
I just stared at him while folding these clothes. He watched me intently too, and it made me shy... When he looks at me like this I always get shy.
That's when I hand him a shirt I folded and he looks, and he snorts.
"William this isn't how you fold clothes, mon amour." He started laughing, and I became embarrassed because I was just folding them once. He was doing it all like how they look in clothing stores.
Completely unnecessary in my opinion.
"It's how I fold clothes." I murmur to him, and he smiles. "I want you to make me feel like I'm the only man in the world."
"Oh? Coining Rihanna's 'Only Girl' lyrics I see?" He raises his eyebrow, and I was serious. Her song didn't even come to mind.
When he sees that I was serious I saw the grin he gave me a lot in high school. The grin that made you feel like you were the most important person in the world. Had me believing for a little bit that I was as important as he thought I was in his heart.
He ends up walking towards me, and I grinned when he cradled my face. I enjoyed when he kissed me - completely making me relax when I was never tense.
"How can I do that when you are already the only man in my world?" He asks me against my lips.
"You really know how to say the sweetest things." I murmur back. "You're the only man in my world too. If I lost you I'd lose my mind."
Arthur pulls away from me, and I see him with a very serious expression.
"If anything is to ever happen to me...don't ever neglect yourself or your health. Don't forget about the twins either - they need you as much as they need me." He assures me, and I snort. "I mean that."
I look in his eyes, and he raises his eyebrow.
"Okay, I won't."
"Promets-moi." ( Promise me. ) He says very seriously, and I found myself gulping.
I nod slowly, seeing him practically wait for me to say the words.
"I promise Arthur."
____next day____
I flinch, and I see Arthur with a grin on his lips. Looking at me, I saw that he was dressed. When I look at the clock I saw it was seven.
"Arthur I'm sorry-."
"It's fine - you need your sleep. Don't wake up because of me - I'll come back and bring you breakfast - the twins too." He nods, smiling as I sigh.
Found myself grinning at him while he leaned towards me. He pressed a kiss to my temple and pulled away. My eyes closing without even hesitating.
"I love you William."
"Love you too."
What pisses me off most about all of this is that I didn't know Arthur would get in a car crash. Instead of me being lazy and staying in bed I should've insisted that he stay a little longer.
I truly wonder if I could've done anything different... Because now I blame myself most definitely.
____present____
Once I would get back in bed we'd cuddle back with one another and he'd kiss my cheek. The both of us mumbling cute things until we fell asleep. Now...
I wake up and hear the damn heart monitor. His eyes closed and breathing steady. Not able to communicate and freaking me the fuck out.
"Arthur..." I whimpered, grabbing his hand as it felt cool. Wasn't warm but wasn't cold either. Right between and it was unusual. "You are really...something else. Messing with me like this. You know how I am...I don't like jokes like this...
"No, this isn't a joke. All these gifts around me are a good way to bring me back to reality and tell me this is true. But Arthur, you're fucking killing me! You should've let me drive with you that morning. We both could heal together...yet you have me stay home and said you'd get me breakfast - the twins too. Why couldn't you let me go with you? Why did you let me sleep for way longer than I needed to? We have a baby on the way as well mon amour..." I cry, grabbing his arm and squeezing tightly.
But it seemed like he lost weight being here. His arms were almost - if not exactly - close to mine. He was still bigger, but he was about to get smaller. Yet that doesn't fucking matter, I just want my husband.
"I just want you back Arthur. This is torture..." I cry some more, finding myself getting beside him in the bed and resting my head on his chest. "Je veux tes baisers. Je veux tes câlins, sourires, amour, gentillesse, amour pour les jumeaux et moi ... Je veux juste que tu reviennes Arthur!" ( I want your kisses back. I want your hugs, smiles, love, cuteness, love for the twins and me... I just want you to come back Arthur! )
My hands brushed his jaw, biting my lip at the way of its sharpness. His eyes closed, yet they almost looked dead. The way there was purple circles around his eyes and his lips would be cracked and dry if I didn't come in here everyday and take care of him.
I find myself leaning close and kissing his cheek, pulling away as I got up. Walking to the window, I stared out at the city. Examining everything, I suddenly begin to have these thoughts fill my head.
Resting against the window as I glanced at Arthur, looking away as I closed my eyes and let myself becoming enamored by my imagination.
"William you never cease to amaze me every single time I see you." He whispers into my ear, gripping my hips as I bit my lip. Feeling him send soft kisses down my spine.
"I want you back Arthur."
"I'm right here mon amour." He murmured, smiling as I shook my head.
"It's not the same... This is my imagination..."
"Oh... Well...I don't know what to say to that now." Arthur said, having me look over my shoulder at him. His eyes narrowed and looking confused, but it was me that was confused...really confused.
This was all just a dream and I couldn't even imagine correctly.
"Since this is a figment of your imagination, just know that the real Arthur loves you both in reality and imaginary. Either way, doesn't it feel the same no matter how you put it?" He asked, cocking his head at me. Seeing the way he just pulled away and sat with his legs crossed like we're in kindergarten again.
That's how I know this is my imagination.
"No. I want the real Arthur..." I whimper, Arthur chuckling as he laid back onto the bed. His arms outstretched and waving around in the air.
"It's imaginary Arthur now, take it or leave it." He hissed, knowing that was me in the mix of words. He wouldn't talk like that...
"Leave it." I growl, Arthur sitting up and fading away. My heart tightening as he was no longer in front of me.
Opening my eyes, I wipe them as I couldn't even imagine correctly. The real Arthur was all I needed...
Seeing him from here, he continued to have his eyes closed - obviously. Knowing I couldn't keep staring at him or I'd get even more depressed, I grabbed my keys and left. Leaving the hospital as I needed something positive. Because every time I looked at him I felt like crying.
I wanted to collapse. Just looking at him everyday like this was paining me. Even though I promised him I'd take care of myself...I've been failing.
Even though I'm sharing my body with someone else. Because of that I still eat, but I'm not really hungry... I've lost the desire to eat.
I couldn't stay here any longer... I decided I'd come back later as I left the hospital.
Getting in my car, I drive home. Wondering if I should act a certain way...because the twins are still pretty shook from their father being in a car crash. This whole week we've had to force ourselves to eat just for Arthur's sake. Because I know that's what he'd want.
But sometimes it hurts to think it has to be like this. If he never told me to not go with him...I'd be in his situation...
"Dad..."
Walking into the place, I see Isabella standing in the corner. Her curls straightened and braided in plaits, probably by Talia.
"Yes?"
"How's dad?"
"He's...the same." I groan, sitting next to her on the floor, her laying beside me as she rested her head on my shoulder. "Today they're doing a checkup on him to see why he isn't up yet. Hopefully...it isn't bad but I'm not going to kid myself. It's..."
I stop myself, forgetting I was talking to a nine year old about this. Anything bad may make her cry and I can't have that.
"'It's' what?" She asked, making me sigh.
"Unknown..." I mumble, and she nods.
"It's not fair. Why him? Dad literally was going to deliver clothes to Goodwill. I thought we all were going together?" She asks, and I freeze since it was...my fault we didn't go together.
"He...he wanted to get us breakfast... Surprise us." I croak, and she looks at me. I continue to stare forward because now I felt sick to my stomach again.
"Are you hungry?" I ask her, and she shakes her head no. "Already eat? Didn't even wait for me?"
"We haven't eaten... I just keep losing my appetite. It's weird without dad here and all of us laughing and smiling and things like that." She explained, having me nod in agreement.
"It's an odd adjustment."
"It's a sucky adjustment." She hissed, making me smile.
"I agree Isabella..." I begin to imagine him smiling at us, and of us running to him and giving him a large hug. Hearing his sweet 'mon amour'...in my ear. His sweet embrace and him never seeming to want to let go...me too.
I wouldn't let go either.
"Can you go find Talia for me? I'll get us something to eat." I say, and Isabella nods. When she walks away that's when the tears poured out.
I couldn't stop crying from there. The tears this time were burning and made me feel worse. Now I feel like this really is my fault.
Arthur was crashed into - not the other way around. Basically T-Boned so I learned. The person that hit him was in the hospital too, but was alive and doing just fucking fine somehow.
I'm furious.
With the person that crashed into Arthur.
At Arthur for not letting me go with him.
At myself...for not even objecting. I'm too spoiled. I'm still a little damn brat.
What is even good about me?
I'm pissed off! I was tired of Arthur getting hurt because of me...
What was the point?
I wrapped my arms around my stomach, trying to conceal my cries. I wasn't the only one here - there was a life being created too. Yet the person that should be with us is hurt.
And I blame myself.
I should've made him stay and wait for me.
Because if I had - this possibly would've never happened. And because of that...I hate myself much more.