Falling For The Biker - Chapter 68: Chapter 68

Sierra’s POV
I raised my head as I felt the coat drop on my shoulders. Arthur helped me up, but soon picked me up from the ground. I could not argue nor fight as I let him take me back into the house.
He increased the heat and walked over to the kitchen. He seemed very much used to the house, but I would not question that. After all, he was already seen as family. When he stepped out once again, he held a mug, handing it over to me.
“Tea,” he said.
“Thank you,” I muttered, taking the cup.
The warm feel of the cup on my hands already made me feel better. I took a sip and the taste burst in my mouth. “This is good,” I complimented, raising the cup with a nod.
“Thank you.” Arthur took a seat beside me. “Mum taught me well,” he winked.
I drank my tea quietly, feeling warmed up in no time. However, I kept feeling Arthur’s gaze on me. I glanced at him and he did not try to hide it. “You stayed. Why?” I said.
“I had a feeling you would need someone to talk to,” he said, leaning back on the couch.
I scoffed. “What if I never stepped out?”
“I know the way to your room,”
“Then you’ll just interrupt my sleep,”
“But that wasn’t the case,” he said. “Do you want to talk about it?”
I stared down at my remaining tea, heaving a sigh. “I don’t know.” I shook my head.
“I’m a bad mother,” I chuckled, dry and certainly not humorous.
A tear dropped from my eyes and I swiped it off before turning to Arthur. “You’re not a bad mother,” he said.
“I wish I could believe that. I stayed, you know? Sometimes I say it was because of Elvis. I wanted him to grow in a stable home. His parents are together and even though he does not know I’m hurting, at least he was fine.” I paused, squeezing the glass in my hand.
“The illusion did not last, neither did he care to keep it. Elvis found out, and he soon had to bear it all with me, yet I still did not leave.” I took a deep breath even though my tears were now falling, with no stop.
“I was too selfish. I could not let go, no matter how bad it hurt. Elvis watched me break, and I tried to smile, told him I was fine, but I didn’t think he would understand and it would be marked in his mind forever,”
I finally wiped the tears on my face, sitting upright. “It’s been over a year since the divorce,” I smiled, getting off the couch.
I moved around, biting my lips, unsure if I should tell him. “I don’t know why I want to tell you this,” I smiled at him, then dropped my gaze to the mug in my hand.
I guess I’ve held it all in a little too long. “I signed the divorced papers a year ago and in just a month of moving out, I… I wanted to return,” I bit my lips, embarrassed by myself.
“It was hard. I had no money, and I had a child to care for. I worked so many shifts and every now and then I had the urge to go back to tell him he was right, that I could not live without him, but Elvis broke down before my eyes. It wasn’t the first, but it sure made me get rid of thought,” I said, then paused again, sniffling.
“But I was still filled with regret. My child breaking down was what counted to get me to stop, to snap. When he was sane, fine and far from losing his mind and finding it hard not to worry about me at such a young age, I didn’t leave,” I chuckled. “And you say I’m a good mother.”
“I won’t take back what I said,” Arthur said.
We locked eyes, and he rose, walking over to where I stood. “I don’t know what you went through, Sierra, but I know it must not have been an easy decision to leave. In the end, you wished to protect your son, and you left. Yes, you might have had some other restraints, reasons that kept you grounded in a place that hurts but that only shows you are human,” he told me.
His fingers caressed my cheeks. “You are trying now, Sierra. It might not seem much but it is enough. Do not push yourself too hard. I’m sure Elvis doesn’t hold it against you,” he said.
It took me a moment for his words to sink in. I nodded, feeling lighter. However, there was still something left to be done. “I don’t want him to keep doing that. Is there a way I could stop it?” I asked.
This had gone on for a while and I need to help my son get better. “I have an idea, but we can only consider it after the holidays. Right now, we can only focus on making him happy,” he stepped closer. “And that includes you,”
“I am happy,” I smiled, but I knew it didn’t reach my eyes.
“You’re standing in front of me, Sierra. It’s easy not to miss certain details,” he said, then sighed. “Open us a bit, Sierra. I can help,”
I looked away, but he held my chin, guarding me back to look at me. “Tell me. What’s stopping you?” he said.
I pulled away from his reach, then stopped a good distance from him with my back to him.
“I don’t…” I paused, then sighed. “I won’t use you to feel better. That would hurt,”
Arthur stayed silent. I dropped the mug on the coffee table with a sigh as I spun around. Arthur was still right there, and he moved with two long strides towards me, eyes hovering over my face before he leaned. His voice came out low and precise.
“I want to be used by you, Sierra.”