Far From Home - Chapter 3: Chapter 3

Late August
"What the fuck is tetrazzini?"
Andre was hunched over his laptop on top of his bed, squinting at a screen that lit up his face at full brightness in the shadows of their darkened dorm room.
"What?" Jake set his phone down on top of his desk.
He had been previously leaning back in his desk chair, scrolling through Instagram to pass the time. Reading the comments under a post of Hunter's brand new—and now totaled—truck was proving to be more infuriating than it was worth. Hunter Anderson's disregard for treating anything in his life with fragility was something Jake always tried to cover for him. He cleaned up Hunter's messes just like he cleaned up Aaron's, but now it was weird to see it unfolding in front of him on a screen instead of standing right there beside him.
Not my problem anymore.
"I'm trying to figure out what that dining hall around the corner is having for dinner."
Jake nodded like it gave Andre any answer to his original question, but to be frank, he didn't have a clue either. "I don't know, man."
"Me neither." His roommate frowned at the screen, his expression looking more confused than it did angry. "I swear they just put the most boujee shit they can think of on here and expect us to know what it is."
"I'm sure most kids here know what that is."
"Well between the hood and BFE, we're a little out of our comfort zone I guess."
Jake leaned back in his university-sanctioned desk chair. "You're from the hood?"
It came out a bit more critical than he had expected it to be. In reality, he just had no idea what 'the hood' was.
"Born and raised." Andre grumbled, clicking tabs on his laptop rather intently. "Nothin' like where you're from, that's for sure."
Jake didn't want to tell him that there was nobody like Andre where he was from either. Any family with a skin tone darker than a summer tan didn't stay a full year before they wanted to leave. Racism ran as deep—if not deeper—than the homophobia in that town. Jake wasn't entirely sure that a couple of his neighbors weren't white supremacists. It was honestly terrifying to ponder on the off-chance that maybe regional neo-Nazi's weren't as far from his doorstep as he would've liked. He tried not to think about it. He tried not to think about what kind of vile things any one of the people that called him 'honey' in the grocery store would have to say to someone as dark as Andre. He tried not to think about it because it wouldn't matter much now... now that they were here, in the city, at least a hundred miles away.
"Yeah well, even Columbus is quite different from where I'm from."
"Columbus is nice though."
"I guess so."
Jake couldn't help but agree. There was something about this city that drew him in the very second he and Connor stepped foot in it over the summer. It wasn't home, he knew that for sure, but it didn't cast him out either. It was a resting place of sorts. He felt like a welcomed guest instead of a guilty intruder. There was comfort in the size of it all, it allowed him to sink into the shadows—a welcome change of pace from the life he had previously lived. Which is probably why Connor loves it so much.
Shut the fuck up.
"It's pasta." Andre mumbled.
Jake had almost forgotten what they were talking about.
"Ah."
"Yeah, not worth it."
"What about um... DoorDash?" Jake held up a food pamphlet from his desk—one of the many bits and pieces of information he was handed in the lobby during their first few days here.
Andre glanced up at him with a ridiculous smile on his lips that led Jake to understand he had just asked a stupid question. He had never felt stupid before in his life, but there were so many things here he didn't know—so many people he'd never seen, so many words he'd never heard, so many foods he'd never tried. It was overwhelming, but he was sure it wouldn't feel as daunting the more he sat with it.
"I went so broke on that shit at home."
"What is it?" He squinted to make out what it said under his desk light.
"Like delivery, but from anywhere." Andre closed his laptop down in his lap. "It gets expensive. Found that out the hard way."
"Sounds like something I don't need to tempt me."
Jake folded the paper carefully down into a square and tossed it down into the wastebasket under his desk.
"I'm gonna go see if my girlfriend can swipe me into the dining hall next to her place." His roommate grumbled off of his bed, leaving his laptop behind on its gray comforter. "You wanna come?"
"You got a girlfriend?" Jake bypassed the most important aspects of that proposition.
"Yeah, man. I'll have to tell you about her later. She's a baddie."
What the fuck is a baddie?
Jake just nodded his head.
He was halfway through deciding if he wanted to subject himself to socializing when his phone started buzzing on the table—the ringer permanently turned off for the remainder of the semester. Saved by the bell, Jake ironically thought to himself as 'Keller' stood out in white text on his screen. Andre was occupied with something at his desk when Jake lifted the phone up to his face.
"What'd you do now, dumbass?" He smiled a 'hello' to the boy on the other side of the screen that couldn't see him.
"Why you always think I'm in trouble?" Aaron sighed.
"When are you not?"
There was a pause as Aaron took a minute to think. "Shut the fuck up."
"Did you see Hunter's truck?" Jake grumbled out as he tilted his chair back on its legs just far enough to where it wouldn't tip and send him flying into his closet.
"That shit broke my heart. Kath said he came in to work with some nasty bruises though, so maybe he took the hint from God to be a little more careful next time."
"You think Hunter's taking hints from anybody?"
"Nah, you right." Aaron shuffled around on the other side. "He's already got a-fuckin-nother one."
Jake leaned forward onto his feet again, stabilizing the chair. "Are you shitting me?"
"His daddy demoted him to cars now. Signed over a Malibu to 'im this morning."
"What the fuck?"
It wasn't jealousy. Jake had to remind himself that he was not jealous of Hunter Anderson. It was annoyance, it was rage, it was some ill-willed wish for Hunter to learn a fucking lesson one of these days. It was anything but jealousy. Why would he be jealous? Hunter trashed a vehicle, he got a new one. That's what daddy's money had done his whole life. Cars, phones, football gear, medical bills, relationships threatened by the words that came out of his loud mouth... Hunter broke something, and his father paid to fix it. Jake wasn't jealous that Hunter got handed a new set of keys when he fucked up, whereas Jake had handed his over to a man that liked to dangle them in front of his face. No, he wasn't jealous... he was pissed.
Fucking Hunter.
"Hoping maybe the Anderson's might just start giving Kath a car or two..." Aaron joked around while Jake's eyes glared at his desk lamp trying to file those feelings about Hunter away somewhere they wouldn't bother him. "She does get a discount though, I might trade in the truck once I get another job."
Jake forced himself to look away. "You're getting another job?"
"Well, once mowing season's over. You think Beau will take me?"
"Good luck with that." He scoffed.
Just like Hunter, Aaron was better at breaking cars than fixing them. It was a miracle the first truck he ever bought was still intact from that summer they spent trying to get it to run. Jake was actually impressed by his own talents with that one. Rebuilding a truck from scratch was harder than he had imagined. Keeping it in one piece with his best friend behind the wheel had been even harder to picture.
"I'm heading out, you want me to bring you back something?" Andre waved his hand over to Jake as he stood next to their door.
"Uh, yeah. Yeah, thanks. I'll eat anything."
"Not tetrazzini."
Jake smiled and nodded. "Not tetrazzini."
"I'll be back." Andre mumbled, his keys jangling in his hand as he stepped out into the hallway.
"Thanks man."
"Who you talkin' to?" Aaron said on the other line.
"Andre," Jake grumbled. "Who the fuck do you think?"
"You got a piss-ass attitude today."
Jake picked up a pen from off his desk and clicked it, just slow enough that he could feel the exact moment the inner-workings shifted over—the fine balance between being a writing utensil and a useless plastic casing that sat unused on his desk.
"Thanks for noticing, princess."
"Fuck you." Aaron said, his voice void of any agitated tone. "You comin' home next weekend?"
"Why would I?"
"For your birthday..."
It hadn't crossed Jake's mind. His birthday was just another thing on the calendar for next week—another thing to cross off when he came to it. On any usual year, his birthday would have meant going out of town for dinner, tormenting Aaron to buy him food while Hunter flirted with the waitress and Jake smacked him on the back of the head at every failed attempt at complimenting her makeup. A part of him longed to have one of those nights back again, but he wouldn't dare admit that he missed it any more than he would admit he missed the boys randomly showing up at his door to drag him along.
"Nah." He concluded. "Staying here."
"Bullshit man, I'm comin' down."
Jake didn't even feel like putting up a fight when his best friend suggested it. He actually wanted to see Aaron, regardless of if that meant putting up with his snoring for the weekend or slapping a hand over his mouth to avoid saying stupid things to the wrong people.
"Next weekend." He suggested.
"Really?" Aaron's tone beamed like Jake was sure his face did as well. "Fuck yeah."
"Don't be stupid."
"Me?" His friend scoffed. "Never."
"Uh-huh, okay."
"You got a TV? Katherine made me watch this movie the other day, it'll totally make you cry. I'm bringin' it."
Jake smiled and shook his head. "No, you're not."
"I swear to God man, it hit me."
"Chick-flick?"
"No, no, it was uh..." Aaron fumbled for an excuse. "Soldiers and shit."
"Mm-hm, I'm sure it was."
"She cheated on him while he was deployed, and then the new dude killed him!"
"What?" Jake grinned in ridicule. "There's no point in fucking watchin' it now you just told me what happened!"
"Shit man. I'll have her find me another one."
"We don't have a TV, Aaron."
Jake sighed and scanned the room for where he would even put a TV if either of them could afford the set up. Between the two beds they refused to bunk, the two desks, and the built-in closets they couldn't move, the room was somewhat scarce in extra space. The three feet that separated their beds from each other was the most floor space the room had. They couldn't even mount the damn thing on the cinder block walls if they wanted to.
"I'll get you a TV for your birthday."
Jake raised an eyebrow in speculation. "What are you my sugar daddy now?"
"If you drop that attitude and whisper sweet nothings into my ear I'll see what I can do."
Jake hadn't laughed since he'd been here, but the first one that came from his mouth was short and sweet—over much too quickly to enjoy the joy it left behind.
"Yes, daddy." He mocked Aaron in the most annoying voice he could muster.
"Ooh, Holmes. Stop it, you makin' me all tingly."
"Shut the fuck up."
He would've smacked Aaron across the back of the head if he were here—his hand nearly itched to find him. He deserved a smack for that one. Instead his lips curled up in a smile, a terrible, terrible comfort that left him missing his best friend and the look on his face if they would've had this conversation in person.
Aaron cleared his throat, nothing awkward between them. "Nah seriously, whatchu want though?"
"I don't know man." Jake ran a hand over his tired eyes. "I don't really care."
"Damn, it's only week one and your will to live is that far gone?"
"Mmm, been a tough one."
In all honesty, it hadn't been a tough one. Jake reasoned it was actually far more manageable than he thought it to be. His classes weren't exactly difficult, he got to sleep-in most days until ten, his roommate wasn't some unbearable prick, or at least he hadn't been so far, and he had somehow made a friend—acquaintance—on the first day of class. His stress wasn't through the roof and his will to live was surprisingly still intact. The anxiety, however, was unparalleled, and Jake didn't know what to do about it. Most days he was having trouble eating, if he could even be bothered to find something to eat at all. That coupled with the incessant nightmares of falling into a void left his stomach unsettled and his nerves tingling through his fingertips like electricity.
"You can do it. I believe in you."
It was sarcastic, but Jake took it to heart. He knew if he really needed to hear those words, they would mean the most coming out of anyone's mouth but Aaron's. Aaron had an unfaltering confidence in his best friend's ability to handle whatever the world threw at him, and Jake realized that it was likely because he had done so well handling Aaron's world for eighteen years. Even though Aaron was technically born thirty-nine days before him, Jake had been his older brother since the day they met, swaddled on the Keller's living room floor in pastel blankets. He remembered the stories of how Aaron stopped screaming the moment their eyes met like he was there watching it happen himself. 'Such a miraculous thing to finally have some quiet,' Mrs. Keller used to tease him. Attached at the hip from day one.
Jake hoped one day he'd be able to watch their kids do the same thing.
I don't need to be thinking about this right now.
He sighed. "I'm gonna go take a shower."
"You even taken a shower since the last time I saw you?"
"Yes, I have, dumbfuck. I shower every day, thank you very much."
"Impressive." Aaron settled back from his joke. "The rate has gone up since the summer."
"Ahah, go fuck yourself." Jake nodded to no one but himself. "And tell Kath I said hi, okay?"
"Yes ma'am."
"Bye, dipshit."
"I'll see you next week, birthday boy."
Jake wanted to retort something about how much he hated that phrase, but instead he hung up the phone with a smirk, sliding it back onto his desk with a sigh as he dreamed of how he desperately wanted the hottest shower he could manage to burn the anxiety right from his skin.