Far From Home - Chapter 39: Chapter 39

Early December
It was an unusual occasion for Connor and Jake to text instead of having a face to face conversation, but given the hour of the night it was and the fact that Jake couldn't be bothered to put on clothes to walk across the hall—not that Connor would have minded either way—they wound up staring at their screens instead of each other. Jake watched the clock in the corner of his screen finally turn over to midnight, and almost considered making a joke about how eerily reminiscent of New Year's it felt, but he kept it to himself as Connor derailed their conversation on what show they were going to binge-watch over break.
kaylee finally texted me back.
Yeah, what'd she say?
Connor had been bugging her all week long about when she was going to be driving back from New Haven, but the majority of her days had been spent packing, driving, and all around stressing about how to get home, and not nearly enough responding to Connor's texts of boredom to go out with him as soon as she got back.
she just got home this morning.
well yesterday morning i guess...
anyways we're going out to lunch tomorrow, so sorry i won't be able to accompany you to the dining hall for another variation of tomato pasta and wheat bread.
Damn. Life's tough.
Jake smiled to himself as his boyfriend typed away on the other end.
Boyfriend.
It had been three days and he was still hung up on how surreal it seemed that there was finally a label for whatever they were. Essentially nothing had changed between them, but it still felt different. He could put a finger on it now. He could say with certainty that he was committed to Connor, not just the very idea of what that entailed. He had a name for what Connor meant to him, and was officially done describing their situation as 'it's complicated.'
Where are you going?
she's coming down to campus to get tacos.
Like our date?
yep, exactly.
we're actually going on a date, sorry to break it to you like this...
"Damn." Jake said to no one but himself. "Can't even break up with me first?"
Hope she likes waking up to cold feet.
not my fault you wear socks to bed like a damn psychopath.
Why the hell are your feet so cold?!
Laughter echoed through the room as he rolled over on his bed to stare at the screen.
you're supposed to be cold when you sleep, it's like a scientific fact.
I'm gonna need to see the proof.
google it you lazy bitch.
Feisty tonight, aren't you?
you wanna find out?
Yes. Jake bit down on his bottom lip absentmindedly, but decided to play it cool.
Tempting, but no.
He hoped Connor would get the reference.
fuck you.
Bet you'd like to.
Jake didn't know where he found that confidence, but it sent him blushing to hide his phone away from his face while he waited for Connor's response. He unknowingly bit down on his index finger as he stole glances at the agonizing gray bubbles in the corner, waiting for the moment they'd be replaced with a message. It took too long for the message that came across to have been the first one that Connor texted out.
you're insufferable.
He smiled.
At least the only lie you tell is a consistent one.
stfu.
Make me.
you're going to wish you hadn't said that.
Coming over?
bet you'd like me to ;)
Touché, you little shit.
in all seriousness i'm actually going to bed though...
Fair enough. You have to wake up early tomorrow... like 10?! How are you ever going to manage?
do i have to block you tonight?
If it makes you feel better about getting up "early."
i am capable of being a human, thank you very much.
Not convinced.
didn't ask.
Jake's giddy smile faded as he typed out the last of the messages he was going to send.
Okay, in all seriousness... I hope you guys have a good time. I won't annoy you anymore, I promise. Get some sleep.
if i don't see you tomorrow, expect that me and kaylee are laughing in a ditch somewhere.
I'll make sure to watch out for the ditches when I head out then.
thanks so much, means a lot.
feel free to just leave us there.
Noted.
Goodnight, Connor. Call if you need me.
night jake.
Jake almost swiped away from his screen before he saw the typing bubbles pop back up on the page. It only took a moment before another message had followed Connor's goodnight.
i always need you.
He let Connor have the last word, glancing over the screen with a smile before he locked the phone and set it out on the window ledge beside his bed.
There were nights like these when Jake stayed awake watching the tree branches outside cast shadows on the blinds where all he could do was watch them and think about the ones he used to watch in Connor's room when his head was too full to sleep. In another week, he might be back in that same room, visiting Connor without hesitation, and maybe then he could actually sleep a full night through. Connor would curl up in his arms, asleep in the glow of moonlight that Jake spent so long trying to drown out, only for them to wake up a couple hours later to the brightest sunrise imaginable, struggling to pull the sheets over their faces for another five minutes of sleep. They would curse the morning as it came—Connor more than Jake—but then they would start another day like there was nothing to fear when they stepped foot outside the door.
Jake wouldn't pretend that he wasn't scared to go back, but he wasn't going to cower from it this time. He made a promise to Connor that nothing was going to change, and he intended to keep that promise until the day they came back to the dorm hall for another semester away. It would be a struggle to feel comfortable, but maybe just a little bit of discomfort was fine. Jake would keep his heart strong, his head high, and his hands ready to put up a fight. He would be able to see the edge without standing directly on top of it. Every day didn't have to feel so life and death—Jake was bound to convince himself of that until he believed it.
He watched the tree branches shake in the wind, hearing the low whistle through the crack under the window where it didn't quite latch all the way. With his head clear and his heart free, he closed his eyes to the faint howl of the winter settling in, hoping it would lull him to sleep.
And it almost did, until his phone started buzzing in place.
Come on, Connor. Already?
But he wouldn't dare to ignore him if he really needed him.
Jake opened his eyes to stare at his phone, but it wasn't Connor's name—nor the embarrassing shot of him choking on coffee that Jake had set to his profile—that lit up the screen. It wasn't Connor, it wasn't Aaron, it wasn't even McKenna or Katherine. The name 'Anderson' was plastered in white font over a picture of the two of them at the senior football banquet, and Jake did a double take.
Am I dreaming already?
He squinted at the screen, thinking maybe if he tried hard enough it would be replaced by 'Keller,' but seconds passed and the image remained the same.
Why the fuck is Hunter Anderson calling me in the middle of the night?
It might have warranted him to pick up if they were still friends, but this had to have been an accident. Hunter never called him to begin with, let alone this late at night. Jake considered it long and hard—he really did—but he figured it would be embarrassing to answer Hunter's drunk butt-dialing and decided against it. He didn't owe it to Hunter to pick up, and it certainly wasn't his fault if he wasn't sober enough to keep track of his phone or the people it called.
It rang and rang—Jake watched the seconds pass wondering what it would even feel like to hear Hunter's voice again after so long. Would it feel like a relief to know Hunter was still out there somewhere, or would it feel like just the opposite for that exact same reason? If he hadn't been so tired, he might have been inclined to pick up just for the hell of it, even if it wouldn't have gotten either of them anywhere.
But instead he watched the call end, popping up on his screen with a missed call notification and a timestamp from 12:33 AM. Realizing he no longer gave a shit, Jake rolled over and went back to bed.