Find My Heart - Chapter 8: Chapter 8

Cole
A 'Sold' sign had appeared outside Highfield Hall less than a week after I had nearly been caught trespassing, and then just a couple of weeks later it became alive with a swarm of activity.
There were diggers and bulldozers, cranes and cement mixers, and lots of other machinery that I didn't even know the name of.
It broke my heart a little to see my peaceful haven being so disrupted.
I peered daily over the wall, to see what they were doing, but I never ventured inside.
As time passed, the warning my dad gave me seemed to diminish in significance, as many threats from parents do, but I knew I would have to have a death wish to go into the grounds while there was so much work going on.
Two months later, and most of the external work on the Hall had been completed, and they were now working on the inside.
The heavy machinery had gone, and in its place was a renovated building that had been brought back to life, back to its former glory.
As much as I resented the intrusion, I could see that they had done an amazing job.
I was itching to go and explore the grounds. From what I could tell, it looked like they had only done work to the Hall itself, and some improvements to the immediate garden and driveway. The woodlands, much to my relief, remained untouched.
College had broken up for the summer, and I was bored. And the pull of my favourite place was calling.
I stole a glance through the iron gate as I walked slowly passed.
It was midday, but there wasn't any movement around the Hall. There were a couple of cars parked outside, but they were there all the time.
I carried on walking until I reached the broken wall. I knew it was only a matter of time until they fixed it, so soon I would need to look for another way in.
I quickly glanced around, to make sure no one was nearby, and on seeing it was clear, quickly hopped over and into the grounds.
Keeping low, I scurried over to some bushes, which thankfully were now in full leaf, so provided better cover than when I was last here.
With one last glance at the Hall, I quickly ran into the woodlands. I ran for a good couple of minutes, to make sure I was far enough away, before collapsing to the ground to rest my aching legs and take in big lungfuls of oxygen. God, I was so unfit!
Summer was in full show, and I walked to each of my favourite spots to see which flowers had done well this year, and which had yet to make an appearance.
I was so lost in my own world that I failed to notice a slight rustling nearby until it was too late.
I froze like a deer in headlights as a little girl appeared not 5 meters in front of me.
"Shit!" I said, clutching my hand to my chest in fright.
That made the little girl giggle uncontrollably.
"What are you doing here?" I asked, anxiously looking round for an adult supervising her.
"I was watching you," she said, with her head tipped to one side.
If she didn't look so adorable, with her blonde hair tied in little bunchies with pink ribbons, I would be quite freaked out.
"Okaaaay," I said warily. "And where are your parents?"
She couldn't have been older than 6 or 7.
"Inside," she said gesturing behind her.
"You mean in Highfield Hall?" I asked.
"Yes, we're moving here," she said.
"Oh right."
Her eyes suddenly narrowed in suspicion. "So what are you doing here?" she asked.
"I'm err, well, err, I guess I'm studying the ecology of the woodland for college."
"The ecology? What does ecology mean?" she asked.
"The plants and wildlife, and the habitats where they live. What makes them thrive and what makes them fail. How they work together to form a perfect balance..."
I quickly stopped realising my audience.
The girl looked at me with genuine interest. I couldn't help but feel the interest was more with me than what I had to say. I had never been looked at in such a way before. It made me feel as though I was some fascinating creature on display in a zoo.
"Oh, ok then," she said, clearly accepting my reason for being there. "I've found something you might like then," she said, turning her back on me and walking away.
I found myself following her, even though I had a strange feeling she might be leading me into some sort of trap.
After a minute of trailing her through the woods, she eventually came to a stop and pointed behind a tree.
I walked over and peered round the large trunk. There, on the ground, all around the base of the tree were clusters of toadstools.
"Woah!" I said, amazed by the site. "We've had a really rainy summer so far, which is why the ground here is saturated enough to make these toadstools grow," I said excitedly.
"Do you think the fairies live in them?" she asked.
I smiled at the thought. "I can't say I've ever seen any, but I guess that might be because they're shy."
"Shall I have a look?" she said, reaching out to grab one.
"No!" I said harshly, pulling her hand away.
She whipped her head round to face me, and I was shocked to see that she was baring her teeth at me in what could only be described as a snarl.
I quickly jumped back with my hands in the air, afraid that she was going to launch herself at me at any moment.
"I'm sorry if I scared you," I said quickly, "but toadstools are extremely poisonous."
As quickly as it had appeared, the expression on her face fell away and the sweet little smiley girl was back again.
"Oh, well thank you then," she said, and stepped back away from the toadstools.
"No, thank you for showing them to me," I said, my heart still hammering a little.
"Can you show me some more ecology things?" she asked.
I spent the next half hour showing her some of my favourite plants and animals. I found out that her name was Annabell and that her whole family were moving into the Hall. She seemed really sweet, and showed a real interest in everything I showed her.
Without realising it, we had strayed closer to the Hall, and suddenly the sound of human voices made me freeze mid conversation.
"Are you ok?" she asked, looking at me with concern.
"Shhhh," I said, ducking down behind some bushes.
She looked at me like I was having some sort of breakdown, and then a look of realisation flashed across her face.
"Oh," she said, turning towards where the voices had come from. She looked back at me. "Maybe you should hide."
"Where?" I said rather frantically.
She seemed to think for a few seconds. "Can you climb trees?"
I nodded, and immediately began looking round for a good tree to climb. I may not have been very strong, but my small body size meant that I was light, making climbing quite easy for me.
I quickly located a tree and began to climb. When I felt as though I was high enough, I turned round to see Annabell just behind me.
"Holy Moly! How did you get up here?" I said in hushed tones.
She just shrugged, then pointed towards the manor.
I looked through the leaves to where she was pointing and could just make out the shapes of two or three people, walking out away from the Hall.
They walked out into the open, giving me a better look at them.
"Fuck, it's him," I said under my breath.
"Who?" Annabell asked.
I snapped my head round towards her, amazed that she heard me. I made a mental note to make sure not to even swear under my breath while she was around.
"The one with the streak in his hair," I said, "I keep bumping into him."
"Nathan? You don't want to let him catch you here. He even scares me sometimes."
"I know!" I agreed. "Where are they going?" I whispered.
"I don't know but they're coming closer so you better be quiet," she said.
They were coming our way, but they were still too far away for them to hear our whispering. I tried to move to another branch to get a better view, but lost my footing, slipping off the branch I was on. I caught myself on a branch below, but it wasn't strong enough to take my weight, and immediately began to dip. I jumped for another branch before it could snap, but I couldn't get a grip and ended up sliding off and crashing onto the ground below.
I bit my lip to stop me from moaning in pain, although I knew there was a good chance, they had already heard me crashing through the tree. I cursed my damn eyesight.
"Is someone there?" I heard a voice yell.
Suddenly I heard a noise above me and watched as Annabell climbed down from the tree.
"Don't move," she mouthed at me, before walking over towards where the voice came from.
"Oh Annabell, it's you," the voice said, "what on earth were you doing?"
"I just fell out of a tree," she said, almost as if it was an everyday occurance.
"You shouldn't be wandering off like that. Does Emily even know you're out here?"
Annabell replied, but I couldn't hear what she said, as the voices began to fade away.
I finally let myself take in a deep gulp of air, and winced at the pain that was shooting through my side.
It never seemed to occur to Annabell that I might be lying here badly hurt, but then again, even after telling that man that she'd fallen out of a tree, he didn't even ask her if she was ok.
I was relieved that I never heard Nathan's voice. Maybe he had gone back indoors.
I lay still for about 10 minutes, before I gingerly got up and hobbled back to the broken wall and made my way home.
I started visiting Highfield Hall more frequently again. I knew I shouldn't, but something about the place just called me in.
I didn't see Annabel again until about 2 weeks later.
"What are you doing?"
"SHIT!" I said, dropping the bottle of rainwater that I had collected. "Aaaww!" I moaned, realising I had lost my data for the day.
I put my hands on my hips and gave Annabel my best glare.
"Until you crept up and scared the bejeezus out of me, I was collecting rainwater to make a note of how much rainfall we've had in the area."
"Why would you need to know that?" Annabel asked, squatting down next to me and peering at my note book, my glare clearly having no effect on her.
"I try and record the conditions so I can see if there is any correlation between things like the amount of rainfall, and the type or amount of different species there are."
Annabel scrunched up her nose. "I thought a correlation was something a king or queen had."
I chuckled lightly, "No that's a coronation. A correlation is when......do you know what, it doesn't matter. But look what I found earlier."
I took out a little container and opened it gently to reveal a leaf with a brown cocoon hanging off it on a delicate piece of thread.
"Wow!" Annabel said with wide eyes, "what's that?"
I smiled at how she could find utter amazement in something, even when she had no idea what it is.
"It's a cocoon," I said.
"Ahhh!" Annabel said excitedly, "you mean like the hungry caterpillar? Does that mean that a butterfly is going to come out?"
"That's right," I said, finding her enthusiasm contagious. "I was going to keep it warm until it opens so I can see what sort of butterfly it is. But if you want, you can take it home and keep an eye on it for me."
"Really?!" she said, her eyes wide like saucers.
"Of course," I said laughing. "But only if you can do a very important job for me."
Annabel nodded at me, putting on her very best serious face.
"You need to make sure you keep an eye on it every day, and as soon as it hatches, you need to bring it back here and let it fly away. But before you do that, I need you to make a note of what type of butterfly it is."
I dug around in my backpack and pulled out a small field guide to British butterflies.
"Here," I said handing it to her, "you'll be able to find it in here."
She took the book off me, looking through it like it was the most precious gift in the world.
"I'm going to go and put it in my room," she said, picking up the container gently.
"Wait, does that mean you've moved in?"
"Yes, some of us moved in yesterday. Others are coming next week."
I followed Annabell as we chatted. She told me that there were 10 family apartments and 6 individual bedrooms within the manor, as well as a huge dining hall, massive kitchen and several group lounges.
I slowed to a standstill as we reached the edge of the woodland.
"I better not go any further," I said.
"Ok," she replied. "Will I see you again tomorrow?"
"Sure," I replied, "I'll be over right after lunch."
"Great, see you then," she said, then started skipping towards the manor, before suddenly remembering what she was carrying.
She grinned back at me sheepishly, making me chuckle. I waved goodbye, showing her that it was fine.
I watched for a few seconds as she made her way to the Hall, and I was about to turn and walk away, when I saw her suddenly stop. She stood frozen to the spot looking straight ahead.
I craned my neck to try to see what she was looking at, but I couldn't see anything.
She slowly turned back round to face me, and even though I was a fair distance away, I could see the fear in her eyes.
I quickly glanced again to where she had been staring, and suddenly I saw it. I saw what looked like four big dogs, jumping around, biting and nipping at each other, like they were play fighting.
I looked back at Annabell, and I could see she was saying something to me, but I couldn't hear her. She still had a frantic look on her face.
I looked back to the dogs. They must have been able to see Annabel, but they didn't seem bothered by her. Maybe she was just scared of dogs?
Suddenly I saw one of the dogs stop dead still and sniff the air. The others immediately noticed and copied.
Surely they wouldn't be able to smell me. I must have been at least 500 meters away from them.
I watched as Annabel took another glance at them. This time, when she saw them, she took off running towards the manor, but not before turning back to me and screaming "RUN!!!"
I felt my heart jolt from the sound of her scream, then I turned to look at the dogs that were now hurtling towards me at a tremendous speed.
I turned on my heel and ran. I could feel the adrenaline pumping through my body as I jumped over broken branches and scrambled over mossy mounds, pushing myself to run faster that I had ever done before.
Within what felt like seconds, I could hear the pounding of paws on the ground, and I could hear the heavy breathing of the dogs gaining on me.
I made the mistake of glancing behind. They were not just big dogs. They were fucking massive! Each one probably came up to my chest. They were going to eat me alive!
I knew I wouldn't be able to outrun them, so I ran to the nearest large tree and quickly started to climb. Sure, I was bound to get caught trespassing now, but that seemed insignificant compared to being torn limb from limb by the beasts below me.
The dogs got to the base of the tree and one leapt up and managed to grab hold of my trainer. It was like a scene from some sort of horror movie.
I shook my leg violently until my foot wriggled free from the trainer and the dog fell back to the ground with the shoe still in its mouth.
I frantically scrambled higher in the tree, but the branches were much thinner, and I was struggling to hang on.
I looked down below and saw the dog that had my trainer, basically ripping it up into shreds. I felt a shiver run down my back, thinking that could be me.
The other three dogs were just pacing round the base of the tree, occasionally looking up at me and baring their huge teeth at me.
Looking at them this close, I would swear that they were more like wolves than dogs.
I heard the branch I was clinging onto let out a worrying 'crack', as it started dipping under my weight.
"Please God, don't let me die!" I prayed, while squeezing my eyes shut and clinging on with every last drop of strength I could muster.
The branch was dipping further and further down, making it harder for me to keep clinging on.
The dogs/wolves below me were barking with excitement at my impending doom.
I felt tears start to roll down my cheeks as I imagined my dad being told what had happened to me.
I should have stayed away. Why didn't I listen to him and stay away?
"OOYY!" A loud booming voice suddenly burst through the trees. "GET AWAY NOW!!" it commanded.
I would have laughed if I wasn't half scared to death. Did he really expect me to just jump down and leave with those monsters down there? Did he think I was that stupid?
"I SAID GO!!" the voice shouted again, closer this time. And then I heard a thump followed by a yelp from one of the dogs.
I finally found the courage to glance down and saw that guy again, Nathan, holding a large log behind his head, ready to swing at another one of the dogs. So he wasn't talking to me then....
The largest of the bunch growled at Nathan, it's hackles raised, but it kept a weary distance away.
"This is your last warning," Nathan said, a lot quieter, but the threat was clearly there in his tone.
The large dog, snapped his teeth once at Nathan in disgust, then turned and ran back towards the manor, the others following closely behind.
I felt my body relax and lowered myself onto a larger branch, immediately wrapping my arms and legs around it.
"Thank you, thank you, thank you," I said quietly to the tree for saving my life.
I heard a snort from down below. "I hope you're going to thank me like that, seen as I beat them off for you."
My eyebrows shot up and I glanced over the side to see Nathan smiling up at me.
Huh! I'd never seen him smile before. I'd never seen someone's features change so much with just a smile. He looked.......well, he looked beautiful. Yes, that was the only word I could think to describe him.
"You...umm...you want me to, er, hug you?" I asked, still clinging to the tree.
Nathan's smile disappeared instantly, and his eyes widened briefly, before being replaced by the scowl that I was more familiar with.
I couldn't help but think that it was like when a black cloud covered the sun. I even felt colder.
"No, of course not, now are you going to climb down or not?"
Now the sun had gone, I lost my incentive to look at him, so I closed my eyes again and just grasped the tree tighter.
"I think I'll stay here for a bit, if you don't mind," I mumbled.
"Of course I bloody mind! They may come back you know."
"That's all the more reason to stay up here then," I shot back.
I heard him sigh, then he said in a softer tone, "It's Cole isn't it?"
I turned to look at him again. He wasn't smiling, but at least the scowl had gone.
"Yeah," I replied.
"You can come down you know, you won't be in any trouble."
"Yeah. But well, no I can't," I told him.
He sighed again. He was clearly not a very patient man.
"Why not? I'm not going to hurt you, and the wol....dogs have gone."
I cocked an eyebrow at his little slip up. I knew they couldn't just be dogs. They must be a cross or something. Wasn't that illegal?
"You don't understand," I said, "It's not that I don't want to get down, it's that I can't get down."
He frowned at my response. "Why not?"
"I just nearly died!" I said, in exasperation, "my whole body feels like a bowl of jelly right now. I'm pretty sure that if I tried to climb down, I'll just end up in a heap on the ground."
"I'm sure you'll be fine," he said, showing no recognition of the trauma I'd just gone through, "I'll catch you if you fall."
"Or I can just stay here for a bit," I said, not budging.
"Fine, I'll come up and then carry you down," he said, reaching up to start climbing.
"WAIT! No, hang on," I said sitting up slowly. There was no way I was going to be humiliated any further. And who knows where he would grab while trying to lift me down. A slight shiver ran down my back at the thought, but I determinedly dismissed it as disgust rather than longing.
"Great," he said stepping back from the tree. "Just take your time and I'm sure you'll be fine."
I knew I wouldn't be fine. Hell, I managed to fall out of a tree when I was perfectly fine. I didn't stand a chance with my legs shaking under me.
I shuffled slowly onto a lower branch, doing my best to cling on to keep my balance.
"There you go, now jump," Nathan said below me.
I must admit, I'd done better than I imagined, and even though I knew there was no possible chance that my legs would hold me up, I let myself drop the last few meters.
As predicted, my legs immediately crumbled underneath me and I landed face down in the dirt.
"Shit, are you ok?" Nathan asked, while lifting me back onto my feet by gripping both my arms.
Man, he was strong.
"I'm fine," I said, but the moment he let go, I felt my legs start to give way again. It felt like they were made out of spaghetti.
Nathan immediately grabbed onto me again.
"God, you're shaking!" he said, this time wrapping his arms fully around me to keep me steady.
I suddenly felt exhausted as the adrenalin left my body, and I allowed myself to sink into his chest.
His arms tightened around me and I felt.....what did I feel?
I felt safe.
I could feel the tears falling down my cheeks, but thankfully he couldn't see my face. I focussed on keeping my breathing even, waiting for the moment to pass.
Maybe he knew anyway, as his hand gently rubbed my back in a soothing motion.
I didn't want to let go. I never wanted to let go. I resisted the urge to nuzzle into his chest. It was weird enough that he was having to comfort me, I didn't want him to think I was a total freak.
Once I was sure the tears had stopped and my legs felt a bit more solid, I finally dragged myself back from the comfort of his arms.
"Thanks," I mumbled, not daring to look at him in case he looked at me like I was some sort of freak.
"It's fine," he said. "No more sneaking around ok?"
"Ok," I replied, dejectedly, "but can you tell Annabell I won't be able to meet her tomorrow then?"
"You were meeting Annabel?" he said in surprise.
I finally looked up at him, and he had a frown back on his face.
"Yeah, is that a problem?" I asked, I'd like to say defiantly, but I think it came out more as shakily.
"No, it's just weird. She is only 7 you know,"
I let out a puff of air in annoyance. "I'm not some sort of creep. I come here to study the ecology of the woodland, and she enjoys learning about what I'm doing."
"Oh," he said, looking taken aback.
"Anyway pass on the message for me would you," I said, turning to walk away.
"Wait!" he said, and I turned back to face him. He looked like he was having an internal battle with himself, so I just waited patiently.
"Fine, you can come. I'll make sure the dogs are kept inside."
My face broke out into a grin on it's own accord. This was my first official invite to Highfield Hall. Finally I wouldn't be trespassing!
"Thanks Nathan," I said, "I'll see you tomorrow then."
"NO!"
I saw a look of panic flash across his face.
"I mean, you won't see me, you'll see Annabell. I suppose I might be here. No I will be here, to keep the dogs away, but I mean I might not see you, but I suppose we might, you know, it's just that I..."
"Goodbye Nathan!" I interrupted, chuckling and waving as I turned and walked away.
"Bye Cole," he said.
I didn't look back. It was funny though how I wanted to. He may be huge and intimidating at times, but other times he was just adorable. Wait! Did I just call him adorable? Not adorable, more like a giant pussy cat. Wait, I find cats adorable.
"Aaarrgghh," I muttered to myself as I climbed over the wall.
I was not, and I repeat NOT, going to get a crush on Nathan.