Fire & Ice - Chapter 14: Chapter 14

Cassie and I didn't really speak for the rest of the night. After our kiss I pulled Cassie's body into mine and we finished watching that episode of American Horror Story before we went our separate ways to bed, not without a kiss though. The next morning when I woke up, Cassie left already for her classes and I made my way through my own day.
All I wanted to do was come home and talk to Cassie though. Slowly I made it through all my classes and as I got back to the dorm, Becca tried to stop me at her door. She said she wanted to go over something for the class we have together but I wasn't having it right now so I told her to just text me what she needed and we could talk about it after practice tomorrow. With Becca sated, I finally was able to push open my dorm room door and found Cassie inside sitting at the kitchen table with a few textbooks open in front of her. When she heard the door shut she looked up and gave me a smile before looking down at her books again.
I took a few moments for myself in my room to decompress from my classes before joining her at the table. When I got to the table, three out of the four books were closed and stacked up and it looked like she was finishing up with what she was doing in this last book.
"Just give me a few minutes to finish this and I'll meet you on the couch okay?" Cassie asked.
"No problem, take all the time you need." I said not wanting to interrupt her work.
"I just need five minutes and I'll be good." Cassie said and gave me a smile before returning to writing a few notes in her notebook.
I left her alone at the table and made myself comfortable on the couch. I quickly pulled up Netflix and started up a new episode of American Horror Story and hit pause so that when Cassie was done we could watch it together. Since that only took me a few seconds I ended up pulling my phone from my pocket and scrolled through my emails to double check my work schedule for this week. I did pick up a shift tonight at the rink that I needed to get to in about an hour but it would give me some time to talk to Cassie.
After double checking the schedule I saw the text from Becca asking about the homework for our microeconomics class. I got up off the couch and got the information she needed and when I returned I saw Cassie sitting on the couch under another blanket waiting for me. She gave me a smile and I sat down next to her.
"Last night was a lot, I never wanted to force anything on you and I just wanted to say if you don't feel the same way in the day light I'm not going to hold you to anything." I started wanting to make it clear that if Cassie doesn't want this, doesn't want me, there is an out.
"You are right, last night was a lot, you laid a lot on me and I laid a bit on you. I did kind of wish you kissed me the other night at the game but I don't think either of us were ready for that in front of everyone else. I'm happy it was here on our couch in our dorm. I did want to show you something though if that's okay?" Cassie asked and looked really nervous.
I just nodded and clenched my jaw. With no clue what Cassie wanted to show me I just took a deep breath and tried to let go of my rising anxiety. Cassie backed away from me and I looked at her confused. Before I could get a word in Cassie pulled the blanket off her legs. I watched as she folded up the blanket and once it was gone I saw that Cassie was actually wearing shorts. Something I've never seen her wear before, but that's when I noticed it.
Her left leg is scarred. From her foot to her thigh and it disappears under the leg of her shorts. The lower portion of her leg is definitely more severely scarred then the top of her leg but it's still enough to know that whatever happened was horrific.
"What happened?" I asked with a sour taste in my mouth and looked back up at her.
"I was so sick with the flu, like it completely knocked me on my ass, I took some  medicine one night and left my heated blanket plugged in. It was wrapped around my left leg and went up my thigh and torso. During the night it didn't turn off like it was supposed to. Because it was on for so long the plug caught fire and it spread up the cord and eventually to the blanket." Cassie said looking down at her leg.
"Our dog actually woke Chad up and dragged him to my room. My parents weren't far behind and they called the fire department. I don't really know what happened after they found me; they didn't tell me. Because I was so drugged up I was out during the whole thing. The only thing I really remember from the night is waking up in the hospital because I was having trouble breathing. The smoke with my already bad flu wasn't a good combination. The doctors came in right away and gave me some oxygen and it helped.
"I was on so many drugs that I was in and out for the first week I was there. When the flu finally started to go away I came to realize that the doctors were really concerned with how bad my lower leg was burned and they thought they might need to amputate below my knee. They gave it a few more days and then they did a skin graft and it helped the worst part of my leg that was burned.
"The scarring goes all the way up my leg to my hip and a bit of the left side of my stomach. I'm just happy that I managed to kick it off most of my body during the night." Cassie said and gave me a watery smile.
That's when I moved closer to Cassie. I didn't know if she wanted to be held or not so I just put my arm around the back of the couch to give her some space if she wanted it. My open left hand that was resting on my thigh was suddenly warm and I knew Cassie grabbed onto it. After a few quiet moments it looked like Cassie was still struggling with the words she wanted to say.
"You don't have to tell me anything you don't want too Cass. We can just cap it here for now if you want and we can watch a little AHS before I have to go to work." I offered.
"No, I want to tell you, it's important for you to know. They took a skin graft from my right thigh and planted it on my left leg and it worked to help heal the worst part of the burned skin. I was in the burn center at the hospital for a bit over 3 months I think. In reality it was probably more towards 4 but in the beginning I was on so many pain medications and antibiotics everyday started to blur together. As things got better, the days got clearer and towards the end I was just ready to go home.
"When I came home since I couldn't use my leg and my room was still burnt to a crisp, I stayed in a guest room downstairs. Chad and my parents salvaged what they could from my room but it wasn't much. My parents also filed a law suit against the company that made the blanket. During the trial it came out that the company ignored reports from their engineers that the timer had a design flaw that need to be fixed before the blanket was brought to market. It wasn't fixed and I had to sit there during the rest of the trial knowing that if they fixed this one problem" Cassie's voice cut out and a few tears started to fall.
That's when I pulled her into me. I gently lifted Cassie onto my lap and held her tight against me as she fell apart. After a few minutes Cassie started to calm down and I could feel her breathing start to even out. When I looked down at her Cassie was gently playing with my fingers. It made me smile and I pressed a kiss to her hair.
"I stopped going to school while this was going on. When I was well enough I started up again with home schooling and continued that for senior year. After I finished all my necessary high schooling, I took a year off to focus on strengthen my leg. Once the physical burns healed enough, I was in PT almost every day. When it happened we weren't sure if there would be long term damage to the nerves and muscles in my leg, it was an 'only time will tell' kind of thing.
"I basically had to relearn how to walk and use my leg. It was a long process with the trial going on around everything, countless doctor's appointments, and then we actually moved too because I was tired of trying to make a guest room my own.
"Things are better now but my doctors have come to the conclusion this is the most movement I'll get back from my ankle. If the same damage was done to my knee as was to my ankle then I'm sure I probably would have woken up without a leg." Cassie said.
"But you did wake up with your leg and you have a lot of good motion out of it. You know just because I told you what was going on with me last night you didn't need to tell me about your leg if you weren't ready." I said wanting to make it clear there was no pressure on her.
"I know but I wanted you to know what happened with my leg McKenna. I want to try and have an us and my leg will probably get in the way a lot of the time. I didn't want to have to make excuses for it. You said you have some stuff to work on yourself and I'll be forever working with my leg but if you're willing to give us a try I want to make this work." Cassie said and gave my hand a tight squeeze.
"I'm all in then Cass." I said and gave my hand a squeeze.
Cassie gave me a smile and leaned into me and gave me a kiss. I smiled into it and couldn't help this warm, happy feeling that washed over me. Maybe for once I can finally give a real relationship a try. Our kiss didn't last long just a few more seconds and we settled into an episode of American Horror Story. For the first time in a long time paranoia and anxiety I have when it came to relationships is starting to fade.
We managed to get half way through the episode before I needed to go to the rink for my shift. Even though I much rather spend the rest of the night with Cassie on my lap, I had to go to the rink. When I got there I happened to walk in just behind Elliot and we managed to get to do rink guard tonight which made me happy since I feel like I haven't skated in a week. Once the front of the rink was good to go I hit the locker room and grabbed my skates and went right to the rink. I managed to skate around a good ten minutes before Elliot came out to join me and opened the rink up for the public.
Tonight seemed to drag on and I wanted it to just end so I could go back home. Finally when the night came to an end Elliot said he would wrap up with cutting the ice and for me to get out of here. I didn't need to be told twice. I ditched my skates still wet in my locker and almost ran back to my dorm. When I got there I found Cassie sitting in the same spot I left her in.
After changing out of my work clothes I dropped down on the couch next to Cassie and found her still to be watching American Horror Story. The two of us sat together for a few minutes before I mentioned going out to get something for dinner. Cassie needed to change quick but it didn't take long for Cassie to reappear in front of me. We left the dorm together and once we got outside our building, Cassie looped her arm through mine as we walked down the block to the market. We didn't end up seeing anybody we knew in the market as it was kind of late for dinner. I grabbed a salad for us to share along with some chicken pasta dish while Cassie went for burger and fries. I paid for dinner tonight and held the bag as we walked back to our dorm.
Over dinner we talked about how public we want to be right now with our relationship. While Cassie is out to her family and friends, she hasn't been in a serious relationship with another woman before. I am all for moving at her pace though and for now we are going to keep it to ourselves. In the back of my mind I have a feeling that it's going to get out sooner rather than later but with everything still being so new we wanted a little bit of time to ourselves. After dinner we settled back into the couch and finished another episode of American Horror Story before heading off to bed.
The rest of September came and went before either of us knew it. With school in full swing, hockey, work and Cassie, my time has definitely been occupied. One thing that has helped me find a balance is my schedule. I have been very strict with my time management and I haven't really deviated from it. Monday and Wednesdays are for school and homework, then every once and a while I would pick up an extra shift at the rink but mostly I would use those days to hang out with Cassie. Tuesdays and Thursday is practice, training my kids and then working at the rink. Friday is for my appointments with doctor Ellis, hitting the gym to lift, making sure all my homework is done if I don't have an away game I need to leave early for. Then the weekends are for games.
What I've come to realize is that most of the beginning of the season are away games. Towards the end we are at home and I'm perfectly okay with that. We have been so locked in together as a team lately. After I came back from not playing the weekend after what happened with my father, I haven't missed a practice or game. As a team it's going to be hard to beat us. We still haven't lost a game yet and my line has been promoted to the top line for our offensive power that we have been putting out. During all of our games we put at least one point on the board.
Just like I thought, things with Cassie didn't stay hidden for that long. We had two blissful weeks of keeping our relationship to ourselves before it got blown to shit. Cassie and I went to another one of Travis' shows together and this show had a lot bigger of a crowd then the last show. I guess word got out that his band was actually pretty good so basically all of the girls and guys hockey teams were there on top of the rest of the crowd.
The show going well and Cassie and I were having a good time dancing around to the music but it was clear that we both wanted to be doing something else. So finally when Travis announced another cover song I pulled Cassie into a dark corner of the bar away from most of the crowd and I barely got a breath in before Cassie laid a hard kiss on me. We have been on a few handful of official dates but we went to places that weren't near campus so we wouldn't run into people we knew. But in a bar with all of my teammates, it was only a matter of time before someone found us in the corner.
I felt a hand on my shoulder and I broke away from Cassie and turned to find a very excited looking Becca and an extremely pissed off looking Chad. Before either of us could get a word in Chad grabbed me by the collar of my jacket and pushed me against the wall, hard. There was a lot of yelling and Cassie tried to get in between us but I put my hand on her chest to keep her out of the middle of myself and her brother. My eyes never left Chad's and my left hand was constantly on Cassie's chest to force her away from us, unsure of what Chad would do to me.
When I made sure Cassie was far enough away from Chad, I grabbed him by shoulders and switched us around and slammed his back into the wall. I don't think he was expecting it and he finally let me go but I didn't let go of him.
"Lay your hands on me again and you won't like the outcome." I said looking him in the eyes not backing down.
Chad didn't say anything but he did look sorry for his actions and I finally let go of his shirt. My hands were shaking and I could feel the eyes of everyone in the bar around us on me. I didn't look back as I quickly found the exit and walked down the block a bit as the adrenaline started to wear off the panic settled in and I couldn't shake it. I pressed my forehead up against the façade of another building and tried to get rid of the nightmares that still plague me of my father but it didn't work. My panic attack was starting to settle in and there wasn't much I could do to stop it.
"Mac, Mac, look at me." I could hear Cassie's voice in front of me and I felt her hands on my cheeks to force my face up to meet her eyes.
"Baby follow my breathing, come on." Cassie said and took my hand in hers and pressed it to her chest. I could feel the steady constant rhythm of her heartbeat and it took me a few seconds to get a few good breaths in before the panic started to dissipate.
"That's good baby, keep going." Cassie said and sat in front of me.
"I'm sorry" I said and tried to not let tears fall from my eyes.
"Hey McKenna no, this was all his fault, he shouldn't have put his hands on you. Did I say you can stop your breathing, no, keep going, in and out, good." Cassie said and gave me a smile.
It took a few more minutes before the panic really died down and I felt okay again. When I felt okay I brought my hand that was resting on her chest to her cheek and pulled her for a kiss. After we pulled away from each other I heard someone calling my name and I turned to find Toni, Becca and Stacey walking towards us.
"Is this real? Are you guys really together?" Becca asked barely containing her excitement.
"Yea we are." I answered.
"Finally!" Becca said and jumped up and down for a few seconds.
"It's about damn time McKenna!" Toni said while Stacey laughed.
"You missed Cassie give Chad a slap though, it was a good one, I think someone even got it on video along with you slamming Chad into the wall." Becca said and started to send me videos from her phone.
"You hit your bother?" I asked returning my attention to Cassie.
"He shouldn't have laid his hands on you; I know it brought up stuff about your dad. I'm going to talk to my parents about him tomorrow." Cassie said and kissed my head before getting up off the concrete.
I followed her lead and with my three best friends, we made our way back to the dorms. As we got close to campus Stacey and Toni both walked us to our dorm first to make sure we got there okay before walking the rest of the way back to the hockey house. Becca kept showing us the video someone got of me throwing Chad up against the wall. From the video you don't get to hear what I said to him though because of the music in the background. After a few seconds of me holding Chad against the wall you see him relax a bit and I turn around with a deer in headlights look on my face and made a be-line for the door. The camera focused in on the siblings and all of a sudden you hear the echo of Cassie's slap against Chads cheek before she stormed off after me.
I was happy someone got the slap on video because it was a really good slap. Cassie and I made sure Becca got into her dorm room safely before we retired to ours for the night. All the fight from the bar and the walk home drained me of the last of my energy and I couldn't wait to crawl into bed. After getting ready for bed I sat down on the edge of my bed and took a look at my hands and held them out. They are still a bit shaky after everything that happened before and so I clenched them into fists and closed my eyes to take a few deep breaths.
As I opened them again Cassie stood in my door frame in a pair of shorts and an old faded Green Bay Packers t-shirt, her blonde hair in a messy bun on top of her head. She didn't say anything but walked into my bedroom and I stood from my bed. When she got to me she flipped over my comforter and climbed into my bed to lay down against the wall. I didn't say anything but turned off my bedroom light and climbed into bed next to her. Once I settled in bed next to her, Cassie pulled me into her and I sighed in the comfort it brought me. I felt her press a kiss to my forehead as I carefully placed a hand under her shirt on her torso. For the first time since I got here, it only took me a few minutes to fall asleep.