Fire & Ice - Chapter 28: Chapter 28

The start of the spring semester is finally here. After spending a week with Cassie at her home, it was nice to be back on campus in our dorm room. I couldn't wait to get back to our dorm room and our own space. I know that Cassie's parents have been super great with having me stay with them for the past week but it felt like I was intruding on them. I've missed my friends and I needed to start hitting the rink again to get back into midseason form. While we were still her house I was able to take Cassie to the rink and really got to show her the ropes of sled hockey. The more we went together, the more she picked up and it was really great to see her be able to come into her own. As our time ended at her house, we packed up both of our sleds and brought them back to campus with us, with a promise to get onto the ice together more.
When we got back to campus Becca and Stacey met us outside the dorm hall and almost jumped on me. I feel like I haven't seen them in months as I hugged them tightly to me once I got out of the car. Cassie broke us all apart when she needed help bringing everything up to the dorm. With some help from my friends it only took us one trip to make it up to the dorm. Once everything was inside I started to put everything away with a hand from Becca as she filled me in on everything that's been happening over the last couple of days since she's been back. Stacey stayed with Cassie and helped her get the heating pad on her leg. Even though I drove us back to campus, Cassie had PT yesterday and it really wiped her out.
As I finished up with Becca, we went back into the living room and found Cassie and Stacey laughing about something together. It made me smile as I took a seat on the arm chair next to the couch.
"So we are going to head over to the hockey house to catch up with the team as mostly everyone is back if you want to join us." Becca said and promptly sat right on the coffee table as there were no other empty chairs around.
"Are you going to be okay if I head out?" I asked Cassie wanting to go with them to see the team.
"Yes, I'll be fine. I got everything I need right here and I'll probably just end up taking a nap. Can you just get me the red pill bottle from the cabinet in the bathroom and some water?" Cassie asked.
I just nodded and found the bottle she wanted along with some water and brought it over to her. Cassie took the pills and took one from the bottle before swallowing it down with a lot of water.
"Thank you." Cassie said and handed me back the pills.
"Anything else I can get for you?" I asked as I pulled the blanket that was over the top of the couch over Cassie.
"Nope, I'm good here." Cassie said and gave me a smile. I gave her one back and kissed her forehead before turning to my friends and gave them a nod. We got up and I grabbed a few things before we left the dorm room.
"You guys are honestly adorable." Becca said after we started to walk down the hall.
"Is she okay? She looked like she was in some pain." Stacey asked as we made our way down the stairs.
"Cassie had PT yesterday and is still sore from it today, being in the car for the drive down here didn't help either. She took a muscle relaxer and with a nap she should be feeling better by the time I go back to the dorm later." I said as we pushed our way out the door and outside.
Once we were outside again we were hit by the cold and I shrunk into my jacket. This was something I definitely didn't miss while I was at home. We walked quickly towards the hockey house and didn't take us to long to get there. Stacey unlocked the door for us and we all walked in. Most of the team was already sitting in the living room and when they saw us walk in they all got excited. I was super happy to be back with my girls and couldn't wait to start to tackle the back half of our season together.
What started as us just going to say hi, turned out to staying all night and having dinner with the team and just catching up. Since all of the girl were at the house, Toni and Megan went over the second half of our season. The big home games we have coming up and some big ones away and our push for the playoffs. We also went over our practice schedule and when the playoffs are going to be and where now that we are getting closer. This year the Frozen Four is going to be in Erie Pennsylvania, which is good for me so hopefully mom can come. As it started to get later into the night, Becca and I headed out to go back to our dorm. I was kinda of surprised Stacey didn't go back with us. But Becca told me on the walk that Stacey just go back the night before and just dumped her bags in her room before they met up.
When I got back to the dorm I found Cassie was no longer on the couch and I quickly made my way through the dorm to find her already asleep in my bed. It didn't take me long to get changed and then I slid into bed next to her. Cassie didn't stir and I knew that was most likely because of the medicine.
The next morning I woke up and Cassie was still pressed very tightly into my side. Gently, I kissed her forehead and made a move to get out of bed, but I couldn't get very far as I realized Cassies hand is clenched tightly around my shirt. I tried to open her fingers to release me but that only made her clench down harder. Just as I sighed and relented to staying in bed for another few minutes when all of a sudden Cassie gasped and her eyes shot open. She shot right up in bed and started pushing the blankets off of her body, her breathing heavy, her eyes wild.
"Cassie, hey look at me." I said and sat up in bed as Cassie started to push herself into the wall.
"It's burning, everything is burning." Cassie said and with wild eyes as she scrambled to get off of the bed and then got tangled in the blankets and ended up falling to the floor in her hast.
"Cassie!" I yelled and got off of bed to try and help her. Cassie just started crying and mumbling and was still trying to push the blankets off of her legs. I tried to get her attention but nothing I did worked. Finally I just grabbed Cassie by the shoulders and shook her a little to get her to look at me.
"Cassandra!" I almost yelled pleading with her to look at me and not through me. It seemed to work a bit as I saw Cassie start to focus on me and not on the blankets.
"That's it Cass, focus on me and my breathing okay, I'm going to pick your hand up and put it on my chest. Use that to follow my breathing." I said and pull her hand away from the blanket and placed it on my chest. It took her a few moments before the nightmare faded away and Cassie really focused in on me. When the last of the nightmare was gone, Cassie just shook her head and pulled her hand away from my chest and wiped away her tears.
"There's my girl, you want to talk about it?" I asked and moved closer to her.
"I was trapped in my room again the night of the fire." Cassie said quietly and wiped her face again before her eyes found mine. "The blankets were on fire, I could feel them burning my legs again and I had, I had too" Cassie couldn't finish the rest of her sentence. She didn't need to. I just moved closer to her and wrapped my arms around my girl.
I don't know how long we stayed on the floor for. But finally I pulled away from Cassie and found that she wouldn't look at me. Carefully I put my hand under her chin and tilted her head up and her watery eyes found mine. I didn't say anything but leaned in and gave her a kiss. It seemed to do the trick and Cassie relaxed in my arms. After I pulled away I kissed Cassie's forehead and found her eyes are a bit clearer than before.
"How about we skip class today, spend it together. We need to get some food for the dorm anyway and when we are done we can plan our trip to Boston." I said and pushed a few strains of hair behind Cassie's ear.
"I like that plan." Cassie said quietly and together we slowly got up from the floor. Cassie was a bit shaky from sitting on the floor for so long I just walked with her to the bathroom to make sure she was stable on her feet before going to get ready myself. When Cassie was done we switched places and it didn't take us long to get out of the door.
I drove us to the store and when we got there I parked and grabbed a cart for Cassie to push. We took our time in the store, going up and down almost all of the aisles and got a lot of stuff. To be far, we haven't been food shopping like this since the first week we moved in together, so this has been long overdue. The bill was large and Cassie and I split it down the middle. When we got back to the dorm, I grabbed a cart to put all of the bags into so we wouldn't have to make multiple trips to the car.
After everything was loaded up we brought it all inside and started putting it all away. It took us a little while to get it all away but once it was done Cassie and I sat with my laptop on the couch and started looking through flights. It didn't take us long to find some flights spring break and we ended up booking them now so they prices wouldn't go up. After getting all of that done Cassie stayed on the couch and started watching a movie on Netflix while I got to work going through my new schedule and planning out my week.
My new schedule isn't much different from my old one, I just now have three classes on Monday and Wednesday and three classes on Tuesday and Thursday. I added another class because I thought I handled this semesters class work well and didn't feel overwhelmed, so I took another class towards my major. Once I got school mapped out, I called up the girls I've been coaching gave them their schedule for the new year. I'm still coaching them but it's been a bit hard with everything that came up after my injury and I had to take some time off from coaching them. But now I'm back to full strength and committed to helping them grow as players.
Now that all of my planning was done I got everything I needed ready for my full day of classes tomorrow and my first practice with the team since we've been back. After that was all done I left my room and joined Cassie on the couch and finished watching the rest of the movie with her. Towards the end of the movie Travis texted me all of the details for his bands first show back for the semester. It's going to be this Thursday night at one of the smaller concert halls that's just off campus.
With the band's recent success, they have been able to book bigger venues. Most of school wants to be at their shows so they have to have a VIP list now to make sure we get in. This is the first show off campus in the bigger venue so I'm excited to see how they are going to do. I relayed the information to Cassie who nodded along when I told her.
When the movie Cassie was watching was over we made ourselves some an early dinner since we skipped lunch while we were food shopping. We just made simple pasta with some sauce and called it a night. Cassie has been kind of quiet all day since the nightmare happened I wasn't sure if there was something I could do to help bring her out of it. I let it go for the rest of the night and we settled in her bed together. It didn't take long for her to knock out but I stayed awake a little bit longer to watch over her and make sure she's okay. When I was sure Cassie wasn't going to wake up, I finally closed my eyes and got some sleep.
The rest of our first week back at school went okay. Both of us got used to our new schedules pretty quick. I think it helped Cassie to be back in school, as the days past I could see Cassie slowly come back to herself. I did have a conversation with Chad about it though, wanting to know if there was anything I could do to help Cassie when these nightmares happen. Chad did say that it was good to get her to focus on something when she comes out of them but it just takes her time to get back to herself after they happen. She just needs some time to realize what happened was a nightmare and her leg is okay and not burning anymore. It was a heartbreaking realization to find out that the nightmares used to happen a lot to Cassie right after the fire. It made me want to watch over her more but I knew I couldn't. Cassie needs time to herself and me overstepping would make things worse. I've seen it happen with her and Chad and I didn't want to be on the wrong side of my girlfriend.
Before we knew it, it was Thursday and we were getting ready to go out to see Travis' show. We are taking Becca and Stacey with us and are going to meet up with the rest of our friends at the venue. Both Becca and Stacey were happy to be getting a ride with us there instead of taking an uber. The venue was only about 20 minutes away from our dorm and Cassie gave me directions while I drove us. I was super happy to find out that they have their own parking lot that was plowed really well. When we got out of the Jeep we found that there was a lot of people waiting to get inside still. I just gave the bouncer our names and he let us four inside while we heard the mumbles from all the other people waiting.
Becca and Stacey went over to the bar and dragged Cassie with them while I went backstage and found Travis. We chatted for a few minutes before he really need to start getting ready for the show. He did say he was going to stick around after the show for a while if I wanted to get a drink. I agreed, gave him a hug before leaving him to get ready. On my way back to the main part of the venue I found Chad talking to some of his teammates and he left them pretty quickly to talk to me. We talked about Cassie for a few minutes before I found that they were looking for me. So I left Chad with his friends and found mine with my girl and took the drink they held out for me. It was the one drink I'm allowed to have tonight as DD. Cassie found some of her friends from her classes and went off to talk to them for a few minutes. When Travis' band came on to start the show Cassie came back over to me and we got a table towards the side of the room.
Dad Without a Child came out tonight excited to be playing another gig. They launched into one of their well-known songs at this point and I couldn't help but start jumping with the crowd and singing along. The first couple of songs really got the crowd going and Travis looked like he was having the time of his life. I managed to get some pictures and videos of a few of the first songs before putting my phone away to be in the moment. Towards the middle of the set Travis' traded his electric guitar and for an acoustic one and the crowd quieted down a bit. Travis looked over at Elliot and gave him a nod.
"We just wanted to thank everyone for coming out tonight and for making this our first sold out show ever." Elliot said and the crowd yelled in response. "I know you guys are really liking rocking out to this new music but we wanted to slow things down a little bit. Travis and I wrote this song together while we were on break and we wanted to share it with you for the first time, so without farther delay, this is Unsaid Emily." Elliot said and gave Travis a nod.
When I turned to find Cassie she was already standing next to me and gave me a smile. As Travis started to play I could tell this was going to be a slow song so I took Cassies hand in mine and lean in towards her.
"May I have this dance?" I asked. Cassie nodded and took me other hand in hers. My left hand left hers and found its way to her back with Cassie's right hand came up to the back of my neck.
"I haven't had a nightmare like that in a while, but this is my life. It's messy. My leg gets in the way a lot, my mind plays tricks on me and I can't tell what is real sometimes. Other days I need so many drugs they leave me in a hazy for a week because I can't cope. But this is me, my life will always look like this and there is no changing it." Cassie said with her eyes watering. "I've been wanting to tell you this since the nightmare but I've had a hard time finding the words until now. But I'm giving you an out McKenna. Right here and now. You can walk away from this relationship. But I need to know now because I can't keep letting my feelings for you get deeper. If they do and we break up I, it will leave a hole in my chest so large that I wouldn't even know how to repair."
Cassie clenched her jaw as she lost the battle with her tears. They feel from her eyes and I couldn't help my own eyes starting to water seeing her in this much pain. It took me a few second to find my world so my throat wouldn't catch.
"I am all in this with you Cassie. Nightmares, leg pain and all. I'm not going anywhere. It doesn't matter how messy your life is, I can guarantee at some point my life was just as bad if not worse. I'm so in love with you, I couldn't imagine being with anybody else Cass." I said staring right into her bright blue eyes.
"Are you sure?" Cassie asked trying hard to hold it together.
"Yes baby, I'm all in with you." I answered as the song filter back in in the background as I took a deep breath.
"Okay" Cassie said and nodded. As the song reached its apex I spun Cassie out and pulled her back into me to break up some of the tension in this conversation. When she was back in my arms I kissed Cassie, hard, to try and push some more of my love into her to show her I wasn't going anywhere.
As the song came to an end Cassie and I broke apart and looked around. The crowd is still cheering loudly for the guys on the stage and it took me an extra second to get myself together. The band went right into a cover of a Blink 182 song and I picked up my beer and chugged the rest of it. I would love another but I knew I couldn't. So instead I took Cassie's hand in mine and pulled her more into the crowd and found some of her friends. We started to jump around to the song with them and I tried to push that conversation from my mind. Cassie and I are okay and are going to move forward from tonight with a better understanding of our love for one another.