For Keeps - Chapter 24: Chapter 24

{Kurt}
"Hurry hurry," Bea whispered, tugging on Kurt's elbow. "It's present time and Jon is going to be so surprised!"
Kurt trotted after her into the White family living room. "Why didn't we have presents with cake?" he hissed back. This was the weirdest party he'd ever attended and next year he was going to be all up in Jon's birthday business.
Jon was standing in the kitchen doorway, drying his hands on a dishtowel, his eyes a little wide as he glanced at his family gathered in the room looking at him. Perched on the couch, Mel looked about to burst, her eyes dancing with laughter.
"Jon dear, I know you always say you don't want a big deal for your birthday, and no gifts. But I'm rebelling this year." She dragged an enormous gift bag out from beside the couch arm, topped with tufts of sparkly white tissue paper. "I shopped for days and spent a silly amount of money on this gift for you and I'm not sorry. Now you have to open it."
Kurt bounced on his toes, clapping his hands and grinning.
Jon took a breath like he was about to say something, his cheeks pink, then caught Kurt's eye. His mouth quirked and he bent his head and joined his mother on the couch. "Thanks Mom," he said softly. "And Dad."
Pete held up his hands. "Oh no, this was all your mother's doing. I tried to persuade her to keep it...well, you'll see."
Jon pulled tufts of tissue out of the bag and emerged with a pair of pillar candles.
"This is a Jonathan Nathanial White self-care bundle," Mel said. "You've been on my heart all month and whenever I was worried about you I went out and found something else that was nice for your birthday."
Jon set the candles on the coffee table and continued to dig on the bag: a pastel-coloured baseball wrapped in cellophane and a package of hand-crafted chocolates.
"Oo a bath bomb," Cary said, leaning forward. "What flavor?"
Jon snatched it away, giving him a glare. "No stealing my bath bomb." He peered at the package. He was still blushing to the roots of his hair, but his eyes were shining. "It's lemon lavender."
"Sounds delish," Kurt said from where he leaned in the doorway, his lips curling in a smile. "I'm climbing in with you."
Bea tipped her head back to shoot him a pretend glare, pointing her finger in his face. "Behave."
Kurt pouted innocently. "What? I'm just gonna scrub his back for him. I'll all in on Jonathan Nathanial White care."
"Are these bear claws?" Jon was tearing into the chocolates, and proceeded to cram one into his mouth, making an inarticulate noise of happiness.
Mel nodded, clasping her hands under her chin. "From that chocolate place you like." She waved her hand at the bag. "Keep going."
Two more bath bombs emerged: 'Vanilla coffee bean' and 'Redwood Forest,' as well as a tube of silky lotion. Tabitha looked pleased as Jon rubbed a little on his hands and admired the smell.
Tabitha said, "Body Shop has a new men's line. It's all gorgeous; I thought you might both like it." She glanced at Kurt. "You look like you value skin care."
Kurt couldn't help winking at her. "I do value skin care," he drawled. "Thank you darlin'."
She rolled her eyes and looked away.
Finally Jon reached the bottom of the bag and drew out a length of silky dark gold fabric. Kurt's eyebrows flicked up as a wide-sleeved men's kimono emerged, cranes with long pink legs spreading their white wings over the shoulders.
"Oh wow," Jon breathed.
"Now this was not easy to find." Mel laid her hand on his knee. "I knew what I wanted when I saw Kurt's robe and Tabitha and I shopped all sorts of little luxe boutiques that I have never in my life stepped inside. But when I saw this one--I knew it was perfect."
Pete laughed quietly. "And she only bought one. I tried to persuade her to let me have it and get you a cozy blanket or something but--your mother is a very stubborn woman when it comes to her children."
"Um." Jon bit his lip, hugging the kimono against his chest. "Thank you." He met Kurt's eyes, his laughing, blushing face saying what do I now? Kurt pursed his lips suggestively. That robe was sexy as hell, but for once he kept that thought private to share with Jon, later.
Jon's parents were tearful and beaming as they embraced each of them and made their farewells. Unwinding his scarf from his neck, Kurt draped it over Mel's shoulders, kissing her soft, damp cheek. "There darlin'. That looks just right on you," he said.
Her eyes were wide as she fingered the beads; all the lines of weariness and grief lifted from her face and for a moment she looked barely older than her son. "Kurt, this is too nice."
He waved a hand. "We'll just call it an early Christmas present." The soft violet greys perfectly suited her faded brown hair and deep blue eyes. "I love a good scarf--feels like wearing a hug."
The winter night was sharp, the sky dimmed by city lights. Jon's warm, bare hand found his, his fingers worming under his mitten to tuck against his palm.
"That went well," Cary said gruffly, unlocking the truck.
"Thank you, Kurt," Jon said. His eyes were pools of shadow, glancing up at his face.
"Wasn't anything," Kurt said, shrugging. It was mostly true; he'd have a 'feelings hangover' tomorrow, but Jon's parents were just shockingly easy to love.
Jon clambered into the middle seat of the truck and sagged into the worn upholstery with a low groan. "I'm starving," he said plaintively. "All I've had since breakfast is a tea misto and a bear claw."
"Did you tell Mom you're cutting gluten out for your migraines?" Cary asked.
Jon exhaled, knuckling his eyes. "I told her last time we had family meal. She just doesn't hold things in her head very well in December. I didn't want to ruin her night by saying...actually I can't have any of this special food you and Dad made for me."
Kurt glanced at his partner, his mouth pulling down. He didn't love watching Jon bury his own needs to accommodate everyone else in his family--but he was hardly one to talk.
"Is there food at home?" Jon asked. "I'm honestly gonna pass out if I don't eat something quick."
Kurt brightened. "Oh yeah there is. I checked out that gluten free bakery today and bought all the things: cinnamon buns and rye bread and--"
"Oh wow, stop," Jon said. He laughed softly. "Talk about something not food."
The truck fell silent for a moment, 'I'll be home for Christmas' murmuring from the radio. "Your mom told me all her Judah stories," Kurt said slowly. "Do you have a favourite memory, Jon?"
Jon's mouth curved down in the uneven light of the passing streetlamps. "I don't really have memories of Judah left. Just the stories my parents tell. I was four when he was diagnosed with leukemia." He glanced up, crossing his arms against himself. "I used to remember...missing him? When I didn't have Cary." He leaned his shoulder briefly against Cary's arm and the big man glanced down at him, his face creased with worry. "But I don't, now."
Jon rubbed his face, saying low, "I feel like an asshole for forgetting my own brother."
Kurt exchanged a look with Cary over Jon's bowed head, then stroked the back of his partner's neck, exposed above the collar of his jacket. "Maybe your parents knew that would happen and that's why they tell their stories every year. So you would have something to remember."
Jon turned his face, meeting Kurt's eyes. Kurt smiled, seeing the child from Mel's photos in his partner's vulnerable face. "I don't remember anything from when I was that small," Kurt added.
"I only remember the scary shit," Cary said quietly.
Jon shoved his shoulders into the seat, bracing a boot on the dash. "Same," he said low. "I remember that fucking hospital room like I was just there." He shivered, tucking in his chin and clearing his throat.
"I remember Dad," Jon said abruptly, blinking at the night street. "Holding me in his lap. I guess I was small--all of me fit in his arms."
"Yeah you were," Cary said, ruffling up Jon's hair.
Jon batted his hand away. "Hey, just because I'm still small compared to you doesn't mean I won't kick your ass for messin' up my do." Laughter broke the spell of grief, and Kurt tucked his arm around Jon's shoulders to hold him close as his partner goofed around with the brother he had now all the way home.
Back in their own kitchen, Jon hovered over Kurt's shoulder as he sliced the dark spongy loaf, snatching up the first piece and wrapping it around meat and cheese. Jon rolled his eyes, dropping against the counter as he chewed.
"This is gluten free?" he asked through his mouthful.
Kurt grinned at him. "So they say--like it?"
Speechless, Jon nodded, tearing off another bite.
They quickly pulled together a snack feast just for Jon--a mountain of sliced meat and cheese and veggies. Cary ate a few olives out of sympathy.
Kurt put on layered electro-pop music and lit the candles around the room, while Jon dug into his birthday bag and pulled out the kimono. The silky folds looked amber in the soft light, and Kurt wolf-whistled softly. "Did your mom buy you lingerie for your birthday, White?" he teased.
Jon looked blankly at him as he pulled the robe over his shoulders. "What's long-jeray?"
Kurt shouted with laughter.
"Sexy clothes to take off in the bedroom," Cary rumbled, giving Jon a darkly amused look.
Jon made a strangled noise, putting his hands over his ears. "La-la-la-not listening, my mom got me pyjamas," and Kurt's stomach ached from laughing so hard.
Cary was sorting through the boxes of ornaments to add a few more to his tree, and Kurt danced with himself in the kitchen while he waited for the coffee water to boil. Jon's eyes flicked from his cleaned plate to Kurt, bright with interest, his knee swinging in time with the music.
"Feeling better?" Kurt asked.
Lips curving, Jon joined Kurt in the middle of the kitchen floor, lifting his arms and snugging his body up close to move in time with Kurt and the music. "So much."
Kurt's laugh hummed against Jon's back and he put his hands on Jon's hips and stomach to move them together. "For a Baptist pastor's kid you're not a terrible dancer, White," he said.
Jon shushed him, snapping his fingers and squeezing his eyes closed. "I'm trying to dance like nobody's looking--don't look a me."
Kurt shouted a laugh and joined him in the finger-snapping until they were jumping and waving their arms in the kitchen, their bodies bumping together like three-year olds having a dance party.
Cary stuck his head in the doorway. "Uhhh water's boiling." He waved a hand in their direction. "Not to interrupt...whatever this is, but. Coffee."
Jon cracked up, falling back in a chair and laughing until tears were running down his face. Kurt waved his fingers in front of his own streaming eyes, managing to turn the heat off the stove. "White, I wish I could take you clubbing."
Jon caught his breath and clapped his hands. "Oh--let's. Last day of exam week--isn't that what the people do?"
Kurt laughed, then checked his partner's grinning face. "Wait, you're serious? You want to go dancin' with me?"
Jon nodded, eyes alight. "I need something to look forward to, to make it to the end of this week. Dancing with you sounds amazing."
Kurt's mouth fell open. "Well I'm in. Obviously."
Jon got to his feet to lean into Kurt's back while he assembled their coffees, tucking an arm around Kurt's body. "Is a club going to be a slippery place for you?" Jon asked.
Kurt checked himself, thinking about that. "With you there? I think I'm good, White. I don't need a drink to dance."
{Jon}
It felt to Jon like he'd made it nearly to the top of a long, arduous climb--there was only the summit left and then he would be over the mountain of Judah's passing and heading down the other side, light. He already felt lighter--for the first time in years he had no secrets from the person he was with.
Kurt's heart thudded steadily along under his palm while he poured the water over the coffee grounds, swaying a little to the music in Jon's arms. Jon glanced at his partner's relaxed, happy face, sensing Kurt was genuinely undaunted by the shit he had told him the night before. He felt that happiness in his own body, amplified by the relief of knowing he was safe from the voice that whispered in his ear when he was alone on these December days.
He wasn't facing down the dark on his own anymore; Kurt was going to help him not mess himself up this year.
Gruffly saying good night, Cary took his coffee up to his drawing studio. Kurt reclined on the carpet in front of the Christmas tree, propping his head on his elbow and patting the space in front of him, with a curl of his smile for Jon. Sighing, Jon folded his legs in a loose lotus position, leaning against his partner's stomach to face the glowing tree.
"What're we doing for Christmas day, love?" Kurt's fingers traced the shape of the cranes over Jon's shoulders, making Jon shiver and snuggle in closer. "Does your family do gifts?"
"Oh yeah we do." Jon played with Kurt's hair with one hand while he sipped his coffee with the other. "We'll go over to mom and dad's for cinnamon buns and coffee and open gifts. I never know what to buy anyone so I just do gift cards."
Kurt chuckled. "Hm, classy. Pretty sure we can do better than that this year, White."
Jon laughed softly with him. "I don't know. I'm terrible at shopping."
"Mm-hmm." Kurt's eyebrows lifted over his amused eyes. "So what about Cary then. You get your brother a gift card? He dislikes shopping as much as you do. Unless it's for Christmas doo dads."
Jon exhaled. "Yeah, no. I'm always stumped for Cary. He just doesn't...need stuff. That he doesn't already have. Well, you've seen his room."
As he thought, Kurt snugged his knees a little closer around Jon's hips, running a thumb over his own lips in a way that Jon found very distracting. "What if we...." His eyes started to sparkle so Jon couldn't help smiling back at him.
"What?"
"What if we get Cary that dog he's been talking about? A puppy under the Christmas tree. With a bow around her neck. How cute would that be?"
Jon was speechless a second. "You want to get a dog."
"Not me, Cary. He said he wants a dog to cuddle and I think we should make that happen."
Jon glanced around the room, wondering how they would go about 'dog-proofing' their house. "What kind of dog are we talking about? A big dog? We don't have a ton of yard."
"I don't know, White, I just dream up the ideas--you're the one with the management skills to make them happen." Kurt paused, watching for his reaction. "But yeah, obviously it has to be a somewhat big dog or the man will crush it when he rolls over in the night."
Jon laughed, rubbing his fists into his eyes. "Oh wow. Imagine his face, Kurt. He'll be like a small child on Christmas morning."
Kurt smirked. "So that's a yes then. Excellent. I'll go on the animal shelter website in the morning."
At this moment, Misty sauntered into the room, giving them an imperious glance before pretending to ignore them and batting at the lower Christmas ornaments. "Ooh cat," Jon said, giggling. "Better step up your dog-whupping work-out routine. You have no idea what's coming for you."
Kurt snorted, laughing until Jon leaned over, pressing their chests together and kissing that laugh into his own mouth.
Kurt was nearly asleep in their tent, Jon cuddled into his body, when a small, muzzy voice came out of the dark. "Can you come with me, Kurt? On Monday?"
Kurt stroked the back of Jon's head. He'd thought the sleeping pills had knocked his partner out already. "Come with you where, love?" Kurt asked, low.
He felt Jon take a slow breath in his arms.
"It's his death day? An' I'm goin' to th'mountains," Jon said. He sounded drunk with tiredness. "An' I needa cry. Can you come?"
"Course I can come," Kurt said. "I'll ask Care for the day off in the morning."
"He says yes already," Jon's voice was blurring. "Says you'll stowaway in my trunk anyways. If I don' bring you."
Kurt chuckled quietly, hugging Jon a little tighter for a second. "He's got a pretty good read on me, then. You getting a hotel? Jasper's nice and quiet."
Jon nuzzled his face into Kurt's shoulder. "Yeah we can. Whatever you wanna do." He flopped onto his back, his arms over his head in his favourite sleeping position. "Luva you," he said and as his breathing deepened Kurt guessed this time he was really asleep.
Now wide awake, Kurt slipped out of their bed and went downstairs to look up hotels with spa packages.