For Keeps - Chapter 47: Chapter 47

{Jon}
After the clamour of the crowded White family dinner table, it was a relief to come back to their own home and retreat into their own quiet pursuits: Cary up to his drawing studio, Jon and Kurt to Jon's big bed for reading and gaming. Jon had barely completed a single level of Zelda when Kurt chucked his book across the room to smack against the wall.
"Nope," he said firmly. "No more unfortunate events for me."
Jon blinked at what appeared to be a children's' book now face down on the floor beside his door. "Is that a library book?" he asked.
Kurt swung him a wry look through his glasses, then unfolded from the bed to stalk across the room, swipe the book up off the floor and smack it onto the pile on Jon's dresser. "There you go, White. You can take it back immediately. Some fancy book blogger said I would like Lemony Snicket because I liked Harry Potter and I do not. Kurt has had enough ansgty stories for today."
He spread out next to Jon, his head propped on his hand, blue eyes bright with curiosity. "What are you doin'?"
Jon glanced up from his pixelated screen and couldn't help smiling. "Saving the world." He turned the gaming system to Kurt, who chuckled.
"Shoulda known you're a Zelda guy." He flopped on his back, shoving his glasses onto his forehead to rub his eyes.
Jon stabbed the 'save and quit' option and put the gaming system away, folding his legs criss-crossed and facing Kurt. He ran the back of his hand over the sleeve of Kurt's blouse, looking for a place to start. "You had a lot of feelings today," he said tentatively. "Can you...tell me what was going on for you?"
Kurt's stomach rose and fell in a sigh, and he folded his glasses and set them aside. "Old shit. New depth. Pete wrecked me lookin' at that picture of you in drag and saying how incredible you looked."
Jon's forehead wrinkled. "Why did that wreck you?"
Kurt shoved up to sit up next to him, linking his arms loosely around his long folded legs and glancing at Jon through his hair. "I did not so much come out to Pa Klassen voluntarily...as get caught by him comin' home from a night out with Nicky." Bending his head, he tucked his hair behind his ears. "In drag. With my fabulous--dress and heels and queen face on."
Jon sucked in his breath. "Oh Kurt." This was a story he hadn't heard yet. His stomach was already tight with dread and he took a slow breath into his belly to stay open.
Kurt waved his hand dismissively. "Predictably shitty things were said and done--and that was the end of me and the folks. He took my phone and my keys and threw me out. Uh literally. Pa Klassen has some heavy hands when he's mad." He rubbed a shoulder up to his ear, looking aside.
"He hit you?" Jon asked.
Kurt pushed his tongue behind his lower lip, checking. "Do I still have a scar?" Kurt flipped his lower lip inside out. It just looked like the soft inside of his mouth to Jon, and Jon shook his head, turning his hands palm up in his lap to keep them from fisting on his legs.
"Bled like a fuckin' horror show," Kurt remarked. "Ruined my dress."
"Where did you go?"
Kurt stretched his chest open with a sigh. "Nicky came back for me. He'd been trying to get me to move in for months so. Winner winner chicken dinner. Took me to the ER. Then back to his place."
Jon bit the corner of his mouth, trying not to do the math on how old Kurt was, how old he had been, what car he'd been driving then, if he'd moved out with Cary already and had a spare room. "To the ER for you lip?" he asked.
"Well," Kurt drawled, his mouth twisting. "In a series of truly unfortunate events my brother was comin' home at the same time as Pa Klassen was makin' a scene for the neighborhood. I was too drunk to outrun him. Todd kept that bat in his car after Douglas scared the shit outta him in high school. And that is how I broke my arm. Almost broke my pretty face and who would've loved me then?"
Jon touched the back of his hand to Kurt's cheek a moment. "I would've."
Kurt flashed him a small smile. "Kinda wish I'd thought of that," he said. He stroked a finger up the sole of Jon's bare foot, making him twitch and giggle, tucking his feet protectively into the fold of his legs.
"I'm glad you have Pete for a dad, love," Kurt finished.
Jon took a big breath. "Me too."
"That was a really good hug." Kurt's face creased with emotion and his voice wobbled. "And he said sorry. I thought that was very kind of him. Not his fault the Klassen family are narrow-minded, abusive assholes."
Jon was quiet a moment, trying to think of what he remembered of the Klassen family clan at church. Kurt's father was stocky and dark-haired. Did that mean Kurt looked like his mother? "Where was your mom?" he asked. "While all this was happening?"
Kurt shrugged his shoulders, his face hidden. "I assume she was in the back of the house gettin' her beauty sleep."
"Did she try to...contact you after?" Jon asked.
"Nope she did not."
The finality of Kurt's words made Jon feel like Kurt shut the door on him for the first time.
Jon rubbed his face, exhaling. "Ugh. Love, that's so shitty."
Kurt gave himself a small shake, touching the tiny shell buttons down the front of his blouse like he was reassuring himself that they were still there. "Yup. Now you know my shitty story." His eyes narrowed in a smile for Jon. "We get up and go on."
Jon smiled back, proud beyond words that Kurt could say that. "Thank you for telling me," he said. "I don't like to think about you carrying your shitty stories alone." He brushed his hand over Kurt's calf, clasping his ankle. "Do you just want to sleep tonight?"
A warm spark of mischief came into Kurt's face. "I'm not sure I do want that, Jon." He slung a leg over Jon's hips, making himself comfortable on Jon's lap with a very enticing wiggle. "I think we're on a roll and maybe we should just keep rolling."
Jon laughed softly, already pulling off his shirt. "Was last night good for you? You cried so much I got worried."
Kurt's hands settled lightly on Jon's chest, his eyebrows lifting. "Oh. My god, Jon. Last night was good for me, yes." He laughed under his breath. "I did not think sex as a married person would be any different. And I was wrong." He held up his hands like it was a stick-up, his eyes laughing into Jon's face. "I'll be the first to admit it. Or maybe...it's just sex with you that's different."
Jon was picking apart the row of tiny buttons down the front of Kurt's blouse, the skin on his chest tingling from Kurt's fingertips, tracing the bumps of his upper ribs. "I'm so sure," he said drily.
Kurt lifted his hands like he'd finished a bar of music, and he slipped his fingers around the back of Jon's neck. "I am so sure," he said, lips brushing Jon's shoulder. "You're all in on me. And I feel that through your skin, even. I have never..." Kurt's thumb touched Jon's pulse point under the corner of his jaw and Jon turned his face to kiss his palm quickly. "...had someone treat me like you do."
The last button was finally undone and Jon opened the garment with a pleased sigh, his body warming at the sight of all of Kurt's bare skin. He clasped the small of Kurt's back, trailing his mouth down Kurt's stomach, tasting the soft salt of him.
Kurt caught himself with a hand on their headboard, making a small noise and for a moment Jon didn't know if it was pleasure or dismay. He took a breath, leaning his forehead against Kurt's chest to gather himself. It was some effort right now not to think about the times someone had hurt Kurt when they were together. They were in no way sexy stories and Jon wanted to keep them from intruding on this beautiful moment. He guessed that was even more of a challenge for Kurt, and that was part of the turn-off for Jon, second-guessing if his partner liked what they were doing and still felt safe.
Eyes pricking, Jon swallowed and said, low, "I feel sad sometimes? When we're together." It felt incredibly naked to say, but this was the last place he wanted to be alone.
Kurt made a soft, questioning noise, fingers pausing on the button of Jon's pants.
Jon ran his hands up Kurt's bare back under the silky fabric of his blouse, his face hidden against him. "I wish I could lift that shit out of your skin, Kurt. I wish I had...healing hands." He pressed his palm over Kurt's heart through his back. This one time, his hands had healed his own cuts, heating up like they were conducting enormous amounts of divine energy. Jon wished that was his superpower for real.
Kurt shifted on top of him, shrugging out of his blouse and laying it aside. "You do that, love," he said quietly.
Jon glanced up, finding Kurt's mouth curled in a smile, his blue eyes soft.
"Every time we're together," Kurt said. "You've been doin' it for months." He kissed one side of Jon's cheek, then the other, the beeswax and floral smell of freshly-showered Kurt undoing the knot in Jon's stomach.
"I love your hands," Kurt said, his voice husky with feeling. "Don't you worry about me, love--I'll just tell you if I'm gettin' triggered. I'm all in on you, Jonathan Nathaniel White." He put his mouth on Jon's and pulled their bodies closer.