Forgotten Conscience - Chapter 44: Chapter 44
You are reading Forgotten Conscience , Chapter 44: Chapter 44. Read more chapters of Forgotten Conscience .
Faith's POV
Wow she eats like a pig. We've been sitting here in this little ice cream shop in town for a few minutes now, most of which she's spent shoveling ice cream into her mouth. I hope she doesn't always eat like that. I've barely made a dent in mine and it looks like she's almost ready for her second cup.
She looks up from her ice cream cup in what I could swear is her first breath in minutes, she gurgles ice cream as she speaks.
"What?"
That's so cute.
She swallows the ice cream in her mouth and wipes the dribble off her chin.
"What? What's wrong?"
"Nothing it's just, well... I don't see how you can eat like that."
"Like what?"
"Well it's like you're inhaling it."
"I'm hungry."
"Okay yeah but how?"
"Well see, your body needs nutrients in order to continue functioning and a lot of the time you get those nutrients from food."
"No I mean, we had breakfast before we went over to the college gym. How can you be hungry?"
She starts scraping the bottom of her ice cream cup.
"I like ice cream..."
Yeah no kidding...
"And plus, you know, there's the whole hungry and horny slayer thing."
Maybe I shouldn't be asking.
"Um... hungry and horny?"
"Well yeah... you... you used to have a s-saying. You used to have a saying. You said slaying used to make you hungry and horny at the same time. Why? Aren't you hungry?"
"Yeah but I'm not the one inhaling her ice cream like it was evaporating."
She shovels one last spoonful into her mouth as she gets up from our table.
"Tell ya what? You can go on making a milkshake, I'm gonna go get another cup of chocolate ice cream, even though it's going straight to my thighs."
She turns and walks over to the counter.
And what a pair of thighs they are... did I just think that? You know, I think I did. Well Buffy did say that slaying makes you hungry and horny. Maybe that's all it is, maybe that's all I've been feeling. Maybe all I'm feeling is this hungry and horny thing Buffy mentioned. She is kinda cute though. I'm just not sure how either of us feels.
I see her walking back over to our table.
There's only one way to know for sure.
She sits down across from me again. She gets into her new cup of ice cream.
"Buffy can I ask you something?"
"You just did."
"Oh, well... I need to ask you another question."
She smiles at me and something about the way she looks at me makes me all flushed inside.
"It's okay Faith, go ahead."
Okay here goes.
"Buffy... are we in love?"
She freezes up, her spoon hanging from her mouth. After a few moments she takes the spoon out of her mouth and sticks it in her ice cream.
"In... you and... in l... we, I... why... why would... um... y..."
Maybe I shouldn't have asked the question.
"What's wrong?"
"Well... that's a weird question to ask."
"Is it weird because we aren't or weird because we are?"
"I... well, you... what makes you think we're in love?"
Okay, be honest, at least I can stop thinking about it if it's not true.
"Well, m-maybe in love is-s the wrong word. It's just... I'm not really sure what else to call it. But... b-back there in the gym, when we were on the f-floor... I, I almost kissed you and... well you almost let me."
"Um... I... was in the heat of the moment you know? It's... it's like I w-was saying before, slaying makes you hungry and horny at the same time."
Well I guess that sorta makes sense but...
"I... I only ask cause this isn't the first time I've wanted to kiss you and... and I don't think it's the first time you've wanted me to..."
I reach out across the table and our hands touch.
"Am I wrong?"
She looks down at my hand touching hers and then back at me. She's suddenly very calm.
"Faith I..."
She takes my hand in hers and I feel this electricity between us.
"I just... I don't know. I don't know how I really feel about... I just don't know. You're, you're right... I did want you to kiss me back there on that gym floor and... and I... I do feel something for you..."
She pulls her hand away from mine.
"But it... it wouldn't be right."
I don't move.
"Why?"
"It just, it just wouldn't be right."
"Why?"
"Because, it just wouldn't, OKAY?"
Her raised voice disturbs a couple people and after a few minutes Buffy tries to go back to her ice cream.
"Buffy?"
"Look, can we just not talk about this? It wouldn't be right and let's leave it at that."
She does have feelings for me, I knew it.
"I can't just leave it at that... I can't because I think I know what you're feeling... I think I know because I think I feel it too."
She looks up at me for a second, a glimmer of hope in her eyes which quickly fades.
"But I can't know for sure. Not without knowing that you feel the same way."
"Look Faith, if I do feel something it still wouldn't be right. Sooner or later, you'll get your memory back and there's no telling what would happen then."
"But..."
"You can't tell me for sure that whatever you might be feeling won't change when you get your memory back, and... the truth is... I, I couldn't live with myself if... if I let something happen between us and, and then..."
"You don't know what might happen, no one does."
"I-I know but..."
She looks me in the eyes.
"I can't t-take that chance."
We stare at each other across the table for what seems like an eternity.
We're pretty good at this uncomfortable silence thing.
"Buffy..."
"It wouldn't be right, it just... wouldn't. And you know it."
She looks down at her ice cream and starts eating it again, even though it's slightly on the congealed side.
She's right, I don't know it. I thought about it... but that was before I knew she felt the same way, but...
"You're right. We can't get involved in a situation like this."
"It just wouldn't be right..."
She keeps saying that, almost like she's trying to convince herself.
"Especially with the end of the world coming and all..."
"Right..."
I sit back in my chair and start poking at my ice cream.
"So we'll just... just try and keep those, little moments from happening."
"Good idea."
We sit there, poking at our ice creams.
"Hey, I got a good idea. It's gonna get dark soon, how about I take you on your first official patrol since your amnesia? See if we can kill us some vampires."
"Sounds like fun."
"Okay cool, we'll leave as soon as we finish our ice cream."
"Sure."
I take a bite of my ice cream.
Well at least now I can stop thinking about it... yeah, right. I don't think I can let this go. I'll have to find a way to figure this out.
Wow she eats like a pig. We've been sitting here in this little ice cream shop in town for a few minutes now, most of which she's spent shoveling ice cream into her mouth. I hope she doesn't always eat like that. I've barely made a dent in mine and it looks like she's almost ready for her second cup.
She looks up from her ice cream cup in what I could swear is her first breath in minutes, she gurgles ice cream as she speaks.
"What?"
That's so cute.
She swallows the ice cream in her mouth and wipes the dribble off her chin.
"What? What's wrong?"
"Nothing it's just, well... I don't see how you can eat like that."
"Like what?"
"Well it's like you're inhaling it."
"I'm hungry."
"Okay yeah but how?"
"Well see, your body needs nutrients in order to continue functioning and a lot of the time you get those nutrients from food."
"No I mean, we had breakfast before we went over to the college gym. How can you be hungry?"
She starts scraping the bottom of her ice cream cup.
"I like ice cream..."
Yeah no kidding...
"And plus, you know, there's the whole hungry and horny slayer thing."
Maybe I shouldn't be asking.
"Um... hungry and horny?"
"Well yeah... you... you used to have a s-saying. You used to have a saying. You said slaying used to make you hungry and horny at the same time. Why? Aren't you hungry?"
"Yeah but I'm not the one inhaling her ice cream like it was evaporating."
She shovels one last spoonful into her mouth as she gets up from our table.
"Tell ya what? You can go on making a milkshake, I'm gonna go get another cup of chocolate ice cream, even though it's going straight to my thighs."
She turns and walks over to the counter.
And what a pair of thighs they are... did I just think that? You know, I think I did. Well Buffy did say that slaying makes you hungry and horny. Maybe that's all it is, maybe that's all I've been feeling. Maybe all I'm feeling is this hungry and horny thing Buffy mentioned. She is kinda cute though. I'm just not sure how either of us feels.
I see her walking back over to our table.
There's only one way to know for sure.
She sits down across from me again. She gets into her new cup of ice cream.
"Buffy can I ask you something?"
"You just did."
"Oh, well... I need to ask you another question."
She smiles at me and something about the way she looks at me makes me all flushed inside.
"It's okay Faith, go ahead."
Okay here goes.
"Buffy... are we in love?"
She freezes up, her spoon hanging from her mouth. After a few moments she takes the spoon out of her mouth and sticks it in her ice cream.
"In... you and... in l... we, I... why... why would... um... y..."
Maybe I shouldn't have asked the question.
"What's wrong?"
"Well... that's a weird question to ask."
"Is it weird because we aren't or weird because we are?"
"I... well, you... what makes you think we're in love?"
Okay, be honest, at least I can stop thinking about it if it's not true.
"Well, m-maybe in love is-s the wrong word. It's just... I'm not really sure what else to call it. But... b-back there in the gym, when we were on the f-floor... I, I almost kissed you and... well you almost let me."
"Um... I... was in the heat of the moment you know? It's... it's like I w-was saying before, slaying makes you hungry and horny at the same time."
Well I guess that sorta makes sense but...
"I... I only ask cause this isn't the first time I've wanted to kiss you and... and I don't think it's the first time you've wanted me to..."
I reach out across the table and our hands touch.
"Am I wrong?"
She looks down at my hand touching hers and then back at me. She's suddenly very calm.
"Faith I..."
She takes my hand in hers and I feel this electricity between us.
"I just... I don't know. I don't know how I really feel about... I just don't know. You're, you're right... I did want you to kiss me back there on that gym floor and... and I... I do feel something for you..."
She pulls her hand away from mine.
"But it... it wouldn't be right."
I don't move.
"Why?"
"It just, it just wouldn't be right."
"Why?"
"Because, it just wouldn't, OKAY?"
Her raised voice disturbs a couple people and after a few minutes Buffy tries to go back to her ice cream.
"Buffy?"
"Look, can we just not talk about this? It wouldn't be right and let's leave it at that."
She does have feelings for me, I knew it.
"I can't just leave it at that... I can't because I think I know what you're feeling... I think I know because I think I feel it too."
She looks up at me for a second, a glimmer of hope in her eyes which quickly fades.
"But I can't know for sure. Not without knowing that you feel the same way."
"Look Faith, if I do feel something it still wouldn't be right. Sooner or later, you'll get your memory back and there's no telling what would happen then."
"But..."
"You can't tell me for sure that whatever you might be feeling won't change when you get your memory back, and... the truth is... I, I couldn't live with myself if... if I let something happen between us and, and then..."
"You don't know what might happen, no one does."
"I-I know but..."
She looks me in the eyes.
"I can't t-take that chance."
We stare at each other across the table for what seems like an eternity.
We're pretty good at this uncomfortable silence thing.
"Buffy..."
"It wouldn't be right, it just... wouldn't. And you know it."
She looks down at her ice cream and starts eating it again, even though it's slightly on the congealed side.
She's right, I don't know it. I thought about it... but that was before I knew she felt the same way, but...
"You're right. We can't get involved in a situation like this."
"It just wouldn't be right..."
She keeps saying that, almost like she's trying to convince herself.
"Especially with the end of the world coming and all..."
"Right..."
I sit back in my chair and start poking at my ice cream.
"So we'll just... just try and keep those, little moments from happening."
"Good idea."
We sit there, poking at our ice creams.
"Hey, I got a good idea. It's gonna get dark soon, how about I take you on your first official patrol since your amnesia? See if we can kill us some vampires."
"Sounds like fun."
"Okay cool, we'll leave as soon as we finish our ice cream."
"Sure."
I take a bite of my ice cream.
Well at least now I can stop thinking about it... yeah, right. I don't think I can let this go. I'll have to find a way to figure this out.
End of Forgotten Conscience Chapter 44. Continue reading Chapter 45 or return to Forgotten Conscience book page.