Forgotten Conscience - Chapter 53: Chapter 53

Faith's POV
I open the package. There's a tape inside, I take it out and put it in the VCR. There's also a box inside, I set it down on the table next to me. The TV comes on and Mayor Wilkins appears.
"Hello Faith. If you're watching this tape, it can only mean one thing. I'm dead... and our noble campaign to bring order to the town of Sunnydale has failed..."
He's gone.
"... utterly and completely. But on the other hand. Heck, maybe we won. Heh, heh, heh, heh. And right now I'm on some jumbo monitor in the Richard Wilkins Museum surrounded by a bunch of kids sitting Indian style and looking up at my face filled with fear and wonder. Heh, heh, heh. Hi kids. Heh, heh, heh..."
I smile.
He always did have a twisted sense of humour. It's one of the things I liked so much about him.
"But the realist in me tends to doubt it. Now, Faith, as I record this message... you're, uh... sleeping... and the doctors tell me you might never wake up. I don't believe that. Sooner or later you will wake up, and when you do, you'll find that the world has gone and changed on you..."
He cared about me and he's gone. He's the only one who ever really cared about me, and he's gone. How could this happen?
"I wish I could make the world a better place for you to wake up in. But tough as it is to accept, we both have to understand that even my power to protect and watch over you has its limits. See, the hard pill to swallow here is that once I'm gone... your days are just plain numbered. Now I know you're a, you're a smart and capable young woman... in charge of her own life. But the problem, Faith is that... there won't be a place for you in the world anymore..."
She... he... she made him gone. How could she have done this?
"Right now, I bet you're feeling very much alone. But you're never alone. You'll always have me. And... you'll always have this. Heh, heh, heh, heh. Go ahead... open the box..."
I step forward and pick up the box and look at it.
"Don't worry it's not gonna bite. That's my job. Heh, heh, heh, heh. Go ahead, open it."
I open up the box.
"Surprise! See, you don't get these in any gumball machine. When you've been around as long as I have, you make friends. And some of them..."
I take a weird metal thing out of the box, with two rings attached to it.
"... Forge neat little gizmos like the one you're holding right now. And here's the good news... just because it's over for my Faith, doesn't mean she can't go out with a bang."
He made sure I'd have this so that I would be okay. He wouldn't have had to if it hadn't been for Buffy... it's all her fault.
I hear someone behind me. I turn around.
It's all her fault.
"Faith..."
"What did you do?"
"Faith wait, we have to talk about this."
I walk towards her.
"You killed him..."
It's all her fault.
"Faith I..."
The closer I get to her the more she backs off.
"He was the only person who ever really cared about me and you killed him."
"I had to, he was gonna destroy the town. He didn't give me any choice."
"H-He, he cared about me..."
"No Faith, he didn't."
I get close enough to take a swing at her and I do.
"LIAR!"
I miss completely.
"I'm not going to fight you Faith."
He never would've died if it weren't for her.
"Well that's too bad because I'm itching to kick your ass."
I take another swing at her and this time she actually has to block it.
What's wrong with me? I should be killing her by now.
"He didn't care about you."
Yes he did, he did care about me.
"He did."
I feel this hole in my stomach.
"No, he didn't. No one who ever really cared about you would ever ask you to kill for them. No matter what you might feel for him, he didn't feel the same way. He couldn't have."
What about the box?
I show it to her.
"H-He left me this. He wanted me to be safe."
"What does it do?"
Why does that even matter?
"He wanted to protect me."
"Do you know what it does?"
I...
"No, I don't."
"For all you know, it could kill you."
"N-no, he wouldn't do that to me."
I take another swing at her but there's no force behind any of my punches.
"I know he meant a lot to you Faith but... but you have to understand, he was evil. He did horrible, evil things to a lot of people..."
I stand still and my knees get weak.
"N-No..."
"No matter how good he was to you, he was still evil."
I drop to my knees, trying not to break down and cry.
"I... you're... he..."
I can't breath.
I fall on all fours trying to get air into my lungs.
"Faith..."
I feel her hands wrap around me. Something about the feel of her touch helps me breath.
"I'm sorry, I know it's hard, but you will get through this."
She sits next to me and I lean against her, my head against her shoulder.
"I-I-I don't think I can..."
It's too hard.
She lifts my head to look her in the eyes.
"I'll help you. I'll do whatever it takes to help you."
Something about the way she says those words just makes me feel better.
And then... like I'm moving on automatic, I lean in and kiss her. She kisses me back and I lean against her a little more.
What am I doing?
I break the kiss to prop myself up on my knees. She opens her mouth to say something but nothing comes out. I don't want her to ruin it so I put my hand on her chest just below her collarbone and push her on her back, climbing on top of her as I do. I kiss her again and I feel her hand press against my back.
Oh screw it, if this is what she wants then this is what she gets.
I grind my hips against hers as I reach down to undo my pants. I struggle with the top button and Buffy tries to say something between lip locks.
"Faith mmm..."
I can't get my pants open.
"We mmm..."
Why is this so hard? Taking my pants off with one hand is something I do all the time.
"I... we mmm..."
Screw this.
I stop working on my own pants and try and undo Buffy's.
"Faith..."
Her button comes undone in a snap and all of the sudden she pushes me away.
"Wait..."