Forgotten Conscience - Chapter 86: Chapter 86

Faith's POV
God she makes me so mad. I feel like I just wanna... SMASH something. This whole situation with B makes me wanna smash something.
I go back to pacing around my crusty old motel room.
I can't sleep. I'm not sure I'd want to even if I could. No doubt the damn PTB have cooked up another dream for them to beam into my skull to make me change my mind about breaking up with B. I'm not gonna let them. They don't get a say in my love life. Hell they don't get a say in my life at all.
I do what I want, when I want and I really could care less what they think I should do. And as if it wasn't bad enough having the PTB on my back I gotta worry about the spell too. I gotta worry that the spell is gonna make me hurt Buffy because of my feelings for her. This is all her fault. It's all...
There's a knock at the door.
What the hell is going on? Why do people keep coming to me? It can't be the manager, I'm paid up for the week. The nest egg the mayor set up for me will keep me paid up for... well, as long as I want.
There's another knock at the door.
I guess I can't just let whoever it is stand out there, fun as it might sound. It better not be who I think it is.
I walk over to the door and open it.
Damn it.
"What do you want B?"
It's exactly who I didn't want it to be.
"Faith I..."
She looks at me with a mix of pain and desire. I roll my eyes at her and walk back into my motel room in a huff.
"Did you want something B? Other than the obvious."
There's a moment of silence.
"Faith can... can I come in?"
My back to the door, I look at her from the corner of my eye. She looks like she could cry if I don't invite her in.
"Please?"
Not that she needs an invite.
I take a deep breath.
"I guess."
She tries to hide her smile as she steps inside hesitantly.
"So... how are you?"
Oh good, small talk.
I turn around and face her.
"Angry."
She lowers her eyes.
"Right, and who could blame you?'
I look at her with a raised eyebrow and a half frown.
"You did."
She breathes in sharply.
"And again I say right, without the blame question cause, well... god knows that could get repetitive. Faith, I know I'm not your most favorite person in the world right now."
"You're not wrong about that."
"And I don't blame you for being angry with me, after what I've done. And I wouldn't blame you if you decided to hate me for the rest of your life. I don't deserve your forgiveness, after what I've done to you, and I would never ask you..."
"Were you gonna get to a point some time soon? Because I was kinda busy with the not caring."
She takes a few steps forward but my steely glare makes her stop. She looks at me with tentative hope.
"I need your help."
I just gotta chuckle.
"Is that so? Well too bad for you because I'm not in the helping mood."
"Okay, I... I totally get that I have no right to ask for your help but there's no one else I can turn to, no one else I can trust. Even if you can't forgive me, you helping me would at least make us... even."
"Even?"
She runs a hand through her hair and looks at me. I shift my weight to my back foot and cross my arms over my chest.
"When you needed um, help... I was there for you. At the very least if you help me we'll be... even."
She is right. She was there when I needed her, no matter how things ended up between us, she was there. And I can't have something like that hanging between us.
"This doesn't change anything, between us I mean."
"I know."
She lowers her eyes again.
"I'm still mad at you."
"I get it."
We fall into silence again for a few seconds.
"So... what kinda arsenal you putting together for this little shindig?"
"We ARE the arsenal."
"What?"
"Well um, whatever's going down with Adam, it's going down tonight and...? I didn't really have time to gather the troops."
"So the Scoobies aren't coming?"
It takes her a second to answer.
Is something up with B and her Scoobies? Bah, what do I care?
"Okay so, no Scoobies."
"Yeah, they could get hurt."
"So, it's just you and me handing out a good old fashion slayer ass kicking. What about weapons?"
"Well I... I have a couple of stakes on me cause I was gonna go patrolling later but I guess that's out."
"Yeah I guess you've got bigger things to deal with."
"You could say that."
She takes a deep breath.
"Um, I do have something else that might help us."
"What's that?"
She reaches into her jacket pocket and pulls out a... a knife... my knife.
I... that could help her I guess.
"That could be a real help to you. Cut the big guy open and stuff."
She closes the gap between us.
"Not me..."
I look her in the eyes as she puts her hands out to hand it to me, her steady, confident eyes staring back at me.
"You."
Me? Is she serious?
I look down at my knife in her hands, the blade gleaming at me from the bad lighting overhead. I look her in the eyes again, the same look staring back.
"Are... are you sure?"
She holds it up a little higher.
"I'm sure."
I see the look in her eyes.
She means it, she really does.
I take the knife from her and hold it tightly.
"You're not worried I might..."
I twitch at her with a stabbing motion and she doesn't flinch in the slightest.
"... use it on you instead?"
She takes my hand with the knife in hers and guides it between us, blade upward. She puts it against her chest.
"I trust you."
She... she really means it. When did this happen? What could've happened that... forget it, we have more important things to worry about.
I take a step back and she lets go of my hand, giving me the knife.
"I think I have an axe somewhere here. You can use it if you want."
"Thanks."
I turn and go to the closet for the axe.
"We could use all the help we can get."
Don't I know it?
I pick up the long handled axe and turn back to her. She's pulling her hair back into a ponytail with elastic, revealing her beautiful neck.
Okay, back to the world in danger.
"Here."
I toss her the axe and she catches it no problem.
"Thanks."
She looks it over.
"Pretty wicked axe."
"Yeah I know. You ready?"
"Yup."
"Let's go."
We head out the door and lock it behind us.