Forgotten Conscience - Chapter 95: Chapter 95
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Buffy's POV
I walk down the second floor hallway to my dorm room.
The pain from the fight with Adam isn't so bad anymore. I think I can bear it for a few more minutes. I'll get some rest, maybe cry myself to sleep, and in a couple hours I'll be okay. Well... as okay as I can be without Faith to come home to. But that will never happen. She'll never love me the way I love her, not after what I've done to her.
Damn it! I should've trusted her. I should've believed her. If I had, then maybe we'd be together now. Maybe she'd be here with me now, helping me home. Maybe she'd bring me home, put me to bed, kiss me and make everything all better. Maybe she'd love me.
I stop just outside my door, leaning against the wall with my left hand as the pain gets too much for a moment.
God Faith, what I wouldn't give to hold you in my arms right now.
I look up at my door which is barely hanging off its hinges, the door's been kicked in and the lock broken. A pink note on the door catches my eye.
What's this?
I take the note off the door and go in. I start to read the note.
'Dear Ms. Summers,
We regret to inform you that due to a number of recent tragedies on campus which through various sources have been linked either directly or indirectly to you, we are terminating your tenure here at Sunnydale University. We have also learned that a Sunnydale citizen who has been linked to a number of murders last year has been staying with you for a number of days.'
What the hell? Why is that a problem?
'As you well know, it is against University policy for any person who is not a registered student to stay on campus over night without a guest pass for any reason. You are also clearly in violation of campus policy as we do not condone the actions of any student who has committed or is connected to any criminal activity on or off campus. We ask that you vacate the campus completely by next week or we will be forced to remove you.
Thank you.
Dean of Students'
They... they can't do this.
My knees buckle and I fall to the ground.
They're kicking me out?
The tears in my eyes start to pour out of me.
What am I gonna do? I'm getting kicked out. There's no way I can fight this. They're right, they have every reason to kick me out and I haven't got a thing to fight back with. I have nothing. I have less than nothing. I lost my love, I lost Faith, my friends don't trust me, and now I don't even have classes to take my mind off it. What am I gonna do?
I crawl along the floor to the foot of my bed.
Oh god, I wish I was dead.
I run my fingers through my hair, grabbing it trying to tear it out of my head.
I need you Faith. I need you here with me to help me through this. I don't think I can live like this, knowing I have to go on without her.
I just lie there and cry my head against the end of the bed.
What am I gonna do?
Spike's POV
Bugger... why did I have so much to drink? I should know by now, with all the drinking I've done over the years, the more you drink the worse the soddin hangover in the morning.
The door to my crypt flies open, the dawning sunlight making my skin sizzle as I jump off the crypt top to the safety of the darkness.
"Hey watch it."
"SPIKE!"
Not this wanker again.
"What are you doing here John?"
He takes the blanket off and throws it on the floor.
"Hey pick that up would ya? I just tidied up the place."
"Why are you here Spike? Shouldn't you be out slaughtering the innocent soldiers of the Initiative?"
"That scene didn't really agree with me."
"What?"
"Yeah I got bored... decided it was more fun to do nothing."
"We had a deal."
"Actually we didn't. Adam told me if I help him he'd take my chip out, so I helped him. It had nothing to do with you, and besides which, our deal was kinda contingent on one very important factor."
"What's that?"
"That Adam be around to remove the chip later, which he's not."
"Adam's dead?"
"Yeah, ain't it a tragedy? In a happy kinda way."
"How?"
"Well, just to take a wild guess here but... I'd say it was the SLAYERS."
I pick up my lighter and my smokes.
"I know that Spike, I was asking how they did it."
I take a smoke out of the pack and light it.
"Don't know, don't care."
"Well you've gotta find out."
Find out?
"Bugger that."
"Why not?"
I take a drag of my ciggy.
Am I really gonna have to go through this again?
"I told you, the only reason I help you Omega wanna-bees is cause Adam promised to remove the soddin chip in my head after the big battle. But with Adam six feet under, or I guess it would be more like 30 feet under, I've got no reason to help you. Plus I don't much like you either."
"What about the slayers?"
Buffy and Faith?
"What about them?"
"You want them dead just as much as we do."
"So?"
"So you help us and that can happen."
"Maybe so, but I wouldn't be the one doing the killing, would I?"
"What?"
I take another drag.
"I take one swing at either of them and this bloody chip goes off."
"You still get to see them die."
"You're not getting it, mate. It's no fun unless you do it yourself. I've killed two slayers in my day, both of them with my own two hands. That's something you'll never be able to understand, killing a slayer with your bare hands is a powerful experience. Sinking your teeth into their nubile young flesh is unlike anything you've ever experienced."
"I know what it's like to drink blood Spike."
"Not slayers blood mate. Slayers blood is different than normal blood, it's sweeter, and it has a better after taste. It's not something you can drink from a glass, in order to get true satisfaction out of it, you have to get it from the source, from the sweet supple neck of a slayer... god I miss being able to drink the fresh blood of a nice ripe little girl."
I look at John as I take another drag of my ciggy and he's not impressed.
"Are you gonna help us or not?"
I roll my eyes at him.
"Not unless you let me kill the slayers myself, or you can get this chip out of my head."
"Not as such."
"Then shove off before I shove you off."
"Spike you..."
I pick up his blanket and throw it in his face, blinding him as I lead him to the door and throw him out.
"Now sod off."
He starts to sizzle and he covers himself with the blanket as he runs off for shelter.
Stupid ponce.
I close the door to my crypt and go back inside. I lie back down on the slab of concrete I call a bed and go back to dealing with my hangover.
I hope the slayers beat the crap out of him before they stake him. I think really wanna be there to see it too.
I walk down the second floor hallway to my dorm room.
The pain from the fight with Adam isn't so bad anymore. I think I can bear it for a few more minutes. I'll get some rest, maybe cry myself to sleep, and in a couple hours I'll be okay. Well... as okay as I can be without Faith to come home to. But that will never happen. She'll never love me the way I love her, not after what I've done to her.
Damn it! I should've trusted her. I should've believed her. If I had, then maybe we'd be together now. Maybe she'd be here with me now, helping me home. Maybe she'd bring me home, put me to bed, kiss me and make everything all better. Maybe she'd love me.
I stop just outside my door, leaning against the wall with my left hand as the pain gets too much for a moment.
God Faith, what I wouldn't give to hold you in my arms right now.
I look up at my door which is barely hanging off its hinges, the door's been kicked in and the lock broken. A pink note on the door catches my eye.
What's this?
I take the note off the door and go in. I start to read the note.
'Dear Ms. Summers,
We regret to inform you that due to a number of recent tragedies on campus which through various sources have been linked either directly or indirectly to you, we are terminating your tenure here at Sunnydale University. We have also learned that a Sunnydale citizen who has been linked to a number of murders last year has been staying with you for a number of days.'
What the hell? Why is that a problem?
'As you well know, it is against University policy for any person who is not a registered student to stay on campus over night without a guest pass for any reason. You are also clearly in violation of campus policy as we do not condone the actions of any student who has committed or is connected to any criminal activity on or off campus. We ask that you vacate the campus completely by next week or we will be forced to remove you.
Thank you.
Dean of Students'
They... they can't do this.
My knees buckle and I fall to the ground.
They're kicking me out?
The tears in my eyes start to pour out of me.
What am I gonna do? I'm getting kicked out. There's no way I can fight this. They're right, they have every reason to kick me out and I haven't got a thing to fight back with. I have nothing. I have less than nothing. I lost my love, I lost Faith, my friends don't trust me, and now I don't even have classes to take my mind off it. What am I gonna do?
I crawl along the floor to the foot of my bed.
Oh god, I wish I was dead.
I run my fingers through my hair, grabbing it trying to tear it out of my head.
I need you Faith. I need you here with me to help me through this. I don't think I can live like this, knowing I have to go on without her.
I just lie there and cry my head against the end of the bed.
What am I gonna do?
Spike's POV
Bugger... why did I have so much to drink? I should know by now, with all the drinking I've done over the years, the more you drink the worse the soddin hangover in the morning.
The door to my crypt flies open, the dawning sunlight making my skin sizzle as I jump off the crypt top to the safety of the darkness.
"Hey watch it."
"SPIKE!"
Not this wanker again.
"What are you doing here John?"
He takes the blanket off and throws it on the floor.
"Hey pick that up would ya? I just tidied up the place."
"Why are you here Spike? Shouldn't you be out slaughtering the innocent soldiers of the Initiative?"
"That scene didn't really agree with me."
"What?"
"Yeah I got bored... decided it was more fun to do nothing."
"We had a deal."
"Actually we didn't. Adam told me if I help him he'd take my chip out, so I helped him. It had nothing to do with you, and besides which, our deal was kinda contingent on one very important factor."
"What's that?"
"That Adam be around to remove the chip later, which he's not."
"Adam's dead?"
"Yeah, ain't it a tragedy? In a happy kinda way."
"How?"
"Well, just to take a wild guess here but... I'd say it was the SLAYERS."
I pick up my lighter and my smokes.
"I know that Spike, I was asking how they did it."
I take a smoke out of the pack and light it.
"Don't know, don't care."
"Well you've gotta find out."
Find out?
"Bugger that."
"Why not?"
I take a drag of my ciggy.
Am I really gonna have to go through this again?
"I told you, the only reason I help you Omega wanna-bees is cause Adam promised to remove the soddin chip in my head after the big battle. But with Adam six feet under, or I guess it would be more like 30 feet under, I've got no reason to help you. Plus I don't much like you either."
"What about the slayers?"
Buffy and Faith?
"What about them?"
"You want them dead just as much as we do."
"So?"
"So you help us and that can happen."
"Maybe so, but I wouldn't be the one doing the killing, would I?"
"What?"
I take another drag.
"I take one swing at either of them and this bloody chip goes off."
"You still get to see them die."
"You're not getting it, mate. It's no fun unless you do it yourself. I've killed two slayers in my day, both of them with my own two hands. That's something you'll never be able to understand, killing a slayer with your bare hands is a powerful experience. Sinking your teeth into their nubile young flesh is unlike anything you've ever experienced."
"I know what it's like to drink blood Spike."
"Not slayers blood mate. Slayers blood is different than normal blood, it's sweeter, and it has a better after taste. It's not something you can drink from a glass, in order to get true satisfaction out of it, you have to get it from the source, from the sweet supple neck of a slayer... god I miss being able to drink the fresh blood of a nice ripe little girl."
I look at John as I take another drag of my ciggy and he's not impressed.
"Are you gonna help us or not?"
I roll my eyes at him.
"Not unless you let me kill the slayers myself, or you can get this chip out of my head."
"Not as such."
"Then shove off before I shove you off."
"Spike you..."
I pick up his blanket and throw it in his face, blinding him as I lead him to the door and throw him out.
"Now sod off."
He starts to sizzle and he covers himself with the blanket as he runs off for shelter.
Stupid ponce.
I close the door to my crypt and go back inside. I lie back down on the slab of concrete I call a bed and go back to dealing with my hangover.
I hope the slayers beat the crap out of him before they stake him. I think really wanna be there to see it too.
End of Forgotten Conscience Chapter 95. Continue reading Chapter 96 or return to Forgotten Conscience book page.