From Ashes ✗ Stiles Stilinski - Chapter 58: Chapter 58

One Year Ago
No one tells you what to do when you lose the person closest to you. There is no guide, no teacher or course in life to help you understand. People allow you to grieve but rarely in your own time. Either you take too long to process it and you're a headcase or you don't take long enough and you're a monster. There is no right way, and there is no easy way.
No one told Madeline that.
She laid in her bed the morning of Marie's funeral in her last clean pajamas. She would wash her clothes today, at some point, if only for the fact that the place would be its emptiest. It was a Sunday and so many girls were attending the service and the ones that weren't were hung over or out on missions. Maddie would give anything to be out on a mission. To be anywhere but here.
She picked at the gnarled stitches on her stomach until it hurt.
There was a knock on the door and Maddie gave a muffled 'yeah', hearing the door creaking open.
"Hey, you ready yet-" Terra's voice cut off. Maddie didn't face the other side of her bed. Marie's bed would be there, empty, unmade and waiting to judge her. There was a pause before Terra's voice lowered. "What is this?"
"Me, sleeping in," Maddie said like it was bothersome to speak at all.
An hour ago, or maybe two or three hours ago, Em and Terra told her to be ready for the funeral and Maddie answered with a grunt on her way to grab a breakfast burrito from the kitchen - a gift from Xander for all the girls. Xander wasn't there by the time she got to the kitchen and Maddie was grateful to eat in silence before heading back to bed.
"We told you to be ready," Terra said, trying to contain her annoyance on this of all days. "We can't wait any longer. Please, just...throw on whatever. I don't care. Just get ready."
"You don't have to wait." Maddie clung tighter to her comforter. "I'm not going."
Maddie could hear Terra swallow her anger.
"Why not?"
"A fyarl demon broke your arm and nearly killed you, like, half a year ago. Did you hold a memorial service for it?"
"That's not fair."
"So?"
"Marie was sick. She needed-"
"Help?" Maddie gripped the blanket and threw it off. When she got out of bed, she grabbed one of the two water cups on her nightstand before looking at Terra. "Then why didn't you help her?"
"We didn't know."
"But you did. You knew what she was doing. You said so. You made it into a joke."
"I didn't think it was..." Terra stopped and Maddie couldn't help but hope it was because of the guilt. "I thought it was being handled."
"By who? Anyone else but you?" Maddie's eyes narrowed on Terra, anger eating her away. "We both know you didn't care enough. Hell, Em didn't even care. Some family, right?"
Maddie tried to walk past but Terra stopped her with an arm, her face seething. Bringing up Emery was always the last straw.
"Family? Are you kidding?" Terra asked and the sound was bitter. "Do you think that's what this is? A fucking family? Did you think that when Marie did what she did?"
Maddie said nothing as the hurt sank in. It was amazing how she could feel so empty and hurt so much.
"We're here because where the fuck else can we go? We weren't given a choice, we were the ones chosen. We live and we fight and we die. That's it." Terra wasn't shouting but it felt like she was, like there was such force behind her words that it made them louder. "We're not your family. Not me. Not Em or Marie or even Xander - and sure as hell not Buffy. Grow up."
She slammed the door in Maddie's face so hard, she jumped. She took a step back, pacing suddenly as the tension in her chest made it hard to breathe. Shaking, unable to turn away from anything Terra said. Squeezing the glass in her hand so tight, it cracked, breaking into shards, and cutting through the skin on her palm before she could drop it.
There were no tears in her since the alley, when Buffy took Marie's body and Xander helped her back to the car, soaked through and hyperventilating. A bloody mess of a girl, just like now. Just like always.
Frantically, she knelt down on her scabbed knees to pick up the shards but hesitated. The pieces had her blood on them already and her hand was dripping onto the floor. She needed to wrap it without anyone noticing; she couldn't let anyone see this, she couldn't let them think she fell apart like Marie. She was nothing like Marie.
Her eyes fell on the bed closest to the door. Marie's bed, still there, still a crumpled mess.
Tension moved from Maddie's chest to her throat, forcing her forward. She grabbed the pillow, tearing a piece of fabric off the case and tying it around her hand. Her stare went back to the mess, the bloody glass, and the small splatter of red on the pillow.
Nothing good came of this.
Nothing good came from having all these things here when their owner would never be back. She didn't want to look at any of it, she didn't want to sleep next to Marie's belongings. They looked so lived in but felt so stagnant. They sucked all the energy out of the room.
Maybe Maddie would feel a little better if it was all gone.
Once the idea formed, there was no stopping it.
She waited until Em, Terra, and Charlie were gone. She waited until Xander stopped calling for her. She waited at least an hour to get dressed in whatever she had that was still clean and began stripping the bed, balling up the top sheet, pillow, and comforter inside the fitted sheet.
Next came the rest of Marie's things. Her clothes, her shoes, her favorite mug, her stupid neon bracelets, and her makeup - all of it needed to go. Maddie gathered all of it, scouring headquarters for anything uniquely Marie, a madwoman running around the building with a trash bag made out of a fitted sheet.
She looked everywhere for anything she could get rid of and finally made it to the training room, digging through wooden armoires and metal cages. She wouldn't be able to bear it if she found them any other way. Preparing for patrol or picked out by another girl. If she came across those daggers, she would lose it. She even thought to check other bedrooms, to tear through them like until she found what she was looking for.
If she was sure she wouldn't get in trouble, she would do just that - and if her Watcher really knew anything about her, he would make sure she never found them.
She tied up the sheet and shoved her feet into her boots, grabbing her thin black sweatshirt on her way to the elevator and out the side entrance.
Maddie sat the makeshift bag next to her on the bus, her hood up to block her face, and no one asked any questions. No one sat near her either, which she didn't particularly mind. She took the bus as far as it would go, until she was the only one left and had no choice but to walk the rest of the way.
It was days. Days since she was here. Not even a week.
Police tape surrounded the pool house and the fence. The bodies were long gone, in their own coffins with other people mourning.
She threw the bag over the fence and it landed on the graffiti strewn concrete with a thud as she began climbing, the metal and rust pressing against her healed hands. The way down didn't seem as long as when she hopped the fence at night and she was grateful for the ease of it. She landed in a crouch, eyes glued to the massive, old pool. It wasn't nearly as full as the other night but there was still plenty of water there under the thick layer of algae and trash.
Maddie picked the sheet up again and looked down at the scrawled concrete, scanning along the rim of the pool until she found the 3 FT marker. She kept walking the length of the pool - 5FT, 6 FT, 7 FT... - trying not to breathe in the sour stench of old sewage coming from the water.
She made it to the deep end at 14 FT and kept going for a little bit to give herself distance, readjusting the bag in her hand to get a better grip and swinging it a little back and forth for momentum.
There was a point, as it swung, that she thought to put it down.
Maybe she would put everything back and pretend this didn't happen. Maybe one day, someone else would clean it out and wonder aloud whether it was worth donating the clothes.
Someone else would sift through Marie's things, someone who wouldn't know how she would practically live in pullover sweatshirts when fall came or categorized her heels based on how much she cared about wherever she was going.
They wouldn't know that her favorite color changed so often, Maddie bought her a rainbow mug last Christmas and Marie did her stupid hyena laugh when Willow cracked a joke about stealing it for herself.
They wouldn't know.
And they didn't need to know.
On the upswing, Maddie let it go flying towards the pool and even then, she wished she could pluck it from the air. It arced, taken away in the torrential downpour just like its owner.
Taken. Never coming back.
She watched, blank faced, as it sailed and landed in the water with a splash as trash rippled on the surface. She stood there and waited for the water to stop moving, torn between relief that it was all gone and horror that...it was all gone.
She stayed there, staring and waiting to see if it would float. It didn't.
Nothing changed. None of it made it better or easier. It didn't bring back whatever inside was lost.
The sky turned a warm pink after a while and everyone would be back soon. When she started moving, she walked the way she came from, watching the water until the absence of Marie's things made her panic. She walked faster, her head turned away as she reached the shallow end again and passed the decayed husk that was the pool house.
Neon caught her gaze just barely and something about it made her shudder and stop. Maddie turned back and walked over to the empty threshold, with yellow tape criss-crossed from one end of the frame to the other. She focused on it, afraid to gaze inside the decrepit building after the last thing she saw there.
The yellow tape wasn't the neon thing she saw in her periphery, though. What she saw was blue and struck a chord in her chest, as cavernous as it was. Something about it stuck, something small that shouldn't bother her like it did.
She closed her eyes and took a breath before she opened them again, sure that there were more dead bodies behind her eyes than in there now. Still, she couldn't get rid of the paranoia itching somewhere in the corner of her brain telling her they would be there again, waiting for her.
She gripped the tape and gently tore it away, taking a hesitant step inside.
Cracks ran along the brownish white walls like veins and the familiar shuffle of trash at her feet was gone. Cleared out, probably. She smelled it still, the sickly sweet scent of rot mixed with something metallic. The floor was actually tiled and the grime between the laminate made it look pocked.
She glanced around and up to the ceiling, the massive gaping hole with tile and insulation frozen halfway down their cascade. Warm light flooded the room because of it, like it was some sort of spotlight. The thunder cracked somewhere in her memory along with the still frame of the light flooding from right here just before she saw a shadow on the other side of the room that night.
Her eyes followed the same trail as last time, and, for a moment, a chill went through her. A fear and a need for Marie to still be there, reading something indiscernible.
"Do you think we'll ever get it?"
Maddie found the neon blue words on the walls - no, not words. One word. She read it over and over again.
As if her limbs were attached to strings, she crossed the room as the last bit of sunlight illuminated the bubble letters, squeezed together too tight. Maybe written by a homeless person, or a runaway, or maybe someone who just had enough this place.
Freedom.
Maddie processed the word as she got closer, but every time she took it in, it evaporated. It didn't give her anything. It didn't fill the hollowed out parts of her. She was close enough to touch the second 'e'. She ran her undamaged hand over the old paint as she kept revisiting the distant echo of Marie's voice, asking such a stupid question.
She wondered again how Elliott was mourned. Was his family there? Did he have people in his life who cared for him?
Did a mother wail over the redheaded girl's casket as it lowered into the ground?
And how was Marie's service? Did it matter? Did it even matter to the people who showed up?
Will they ever get it?
The question was the static whine in her ears under everything and under the expanse of nothing that took up so much space in her now.
Maddie still touched the wall but instead of fingertips, it was the flat end of her fist softly connecting, feeling the smooth, cold tile firmly on the other side.
She reared her fist back and hit the wall, hard but not as hard as she possibly could. The collision was a jolt to her senses, reverberating through her bones and echoing against all that nothing.
She hit it again.
And again.
Harder and harder as her pace quickened and the letter began to crack.
Blood stained and smeared there as the piece of wall she worked at went from ceramic to concrete and her hand blurred with the repeated motion. The noise and the pain filled the space in her head and in her chest, but the static was still there under it, still waiting for her to give in and stop.
With a bloody fist, Madeline found the only peace she could fathom. Hit after hit, bone breaking.
Maybe, after this, she could sleep.
☽ † ☾
It was like a blink.
In the same moment she rested her head against Stiles, she woke up, wincing at a too white room, the smell of lemon floor cleaner, and stagnant air. The buzz of fluorescent light rung in her head. She squeezed her eyes shut and turned her head away before she opened them again and noticed all of the machines next to her.
Panic rose in her chest.
She sat right up and the quick motion made her want to throw up as her focus went in and out, beyond her control. Something tugged at the crook of her elbow, not in a way that hurt, but in a way which told her it would if she kept pulling. She looked down at it - first mistake - and after a few seconds of staring at it, noticed the thin tube coming from under her skin and taped to her arm. It was around that time that she realized she wasn't in her clothes from before, which gave her a new source of anxiety.
The nausea ebbed after she remained still for a few minutes, taking deep breaths to try and calm herself down. Still, she wanted to rip the tube from her arm and get out. She had to find everyone. They still needed to reinforce the barrier before-
The door opened. When someone stepped in, Maddie went to grab from something sharp and came up empty as she looked around.
When the door clicked shut, Maddie looked up again and Scott's mom turned to her and jumped, crashing into the metal cart behind her with a hand on her chest. "Oh my god!"
She breathed, staring at Maddie like she couldn't believe what she was seeing. Still in the process of calming herself down, Melissa approached Maddie's bedside and Maddie realized the woman was wearing her scrubs, confirming her fears.
All the questions stuck in her throat when she remembered how freaked Scott said his mom was since finding out he was a wolf. She had no idea if the woman could fathom Slayers at this point.
To be fair, Maddie couldn't fathom how she even got here, so they were even in that regard.
Her hand flew to her neck but wasn't met with skin. Instead, gauze cushioned the whole area. It didn't sting or ache and she felt her ribs next, then her jaw. When she examined her hands, not a scratch marred her knuckles.
"I know, right?" Melissa said, redirecting Maddie's attention. Her tone was astonished but still comforting. She was still trying to understand but cared enough not to freak out in front of Maddie. "That's one hell of a healing power you got there."
"Uh..." Maddie cringed at the hoarseness of her voice and tried clearing her throat. "Yeah, I guess."
"How are you feeling?"
Maddie thought to say the usual. To smile tightly and say, "I'm fine."
She wasn't though; she was wired and terrified. She wasn't so much nauseous anymore but there was an ache in her body, specifically in her stomach as she focused on it. She swallowed, her throat still dry. "I'm hungry."
It was only a few minutes before Melissa came back with a plastic tray of hospital food - a bowl of chicken noodle soup and a cup of lime jello - along with a bottle of water. She went about her business while Maddie ate like a ravenous animal, not stopping when the soup burned her tongue. Even after everything was gone, she was hungry but decided not to say anything.
When Melissa walked back over, she was only mildly shocked.
"Surprisingly enough, extreme hunger is the least supernatural thing I've seen lately," she said with a tense laugh. She took the tray and set it aside. "Hold out your arm."
Maddie did as she was told and Scott's mom got to work detaching the IV from her.
"So, vampires," Melissa said, and Maddie's eyes shot up to her. "We have vampires?"
Maddie blinked, taking a moment to process the question. Not expecting it. How much did Scott tell her? She took a while to say anything at all, unaware of where the lines were anymore and if she could still cross one. "Yeah. Sort of. Not...here, though."
"Not here? You're sure?"
Maddie nodded and Melissa took a breath.
"Well, I've heard worse news," she said, as she took out the needle and bandaged the tiny hole in Maddie's arm, giving her a kind glance. "You should probably get going."
"What?"
"Oh! Not like that. It's just..." She walked to the door and looked through the window then back at Maddie. "We've been doing our best to keep the staff away from this room pretty much at all costs. I think all your injuries magically healing over the course of a day and a half might be a little too much for them."
"Right. Um. Yeah, that makes sense."
A day and a half. Maddie inched herself to the edge of the bed, an uneasy tingling in her limbs the more she moved, like her body was still waking up. She allowed her legs to drop and examined the room more, spotting a chair off to the side, a stack of clothes and her barely used sneakers set precariously on the seat.
When her feet met the cold tile, it was a shock but standing felt good, despite the ache in her back. She walked slowly to the chair, like she was testing herself more than anything. Grabbing the clothes and shoes, she looked around again and spotted a bathroom in the corner.
"When you're good to go, they're all ready for you."
Maddie stopped. "They?"
Melissa smiled and left the room.
When Maddie saw herself in the mirror, it was as much a shock as it was days ago after the beating she took. Her face was bare and her bruises were gone, but the flesh where the were was still a little off-color.
The big bandage on her neck was an eyesore and she winced just a little bit as she slowly pulled it off. Moving her hair, she got a better look at the place when the Father bit her.
It was still there. Not open but two scabbed over dots and a thin, broken and arched line of pale pink connecting them. It was so much more noticeable than she expected. Shouldn't it be healed already with the rest of her wounds?
Maddie thought about the scar on her stomach and jokingly wondered if she was creating a yearly trend as she got dressed. Stuffing her feet in her sneakers and already missing her boots, she balled up the hospital dressing gown and headed out, placing it on the bed when she didn't know where else to set it down.
She stretched and rolled her neck but hesitated at the door. They.
In the hall, there was no one immediately around, not that it was a waiting area. It was just a hall. She looked for anyone passing by the nearest corridor and when no one did, she listened closely and followed the sound of voices in the distance.
Just as she made it to the end, a clanging behind her had her whirling around, eyes darting from side to side. The hall was empty but the longer she looked down it, the more her paranoia ate through her.
Maddie decided it was nothing, turning the corner and finding a small waiting room with Scott's mom at the desk across from it.
At the closest chair was Lydia scrolling through her phone. Next to her was Stiles, then Scott, with Stiles turned away and saying something she couldn't catch.
On the wall facing Maddie, Terra was the first to stand up, then Max next to her. Lydia and Scott seem to catch on, turning to her and standing, and Stiles was the last stumbling his way to his feet.
Maddie folded her arms and didn't say anything.
Lydia was the first to hug her, tighter than expected, and Maddie awkwardly hugged her back. It was the same with Scott, only when he let her go, his face was a mask of confusion. "I couldn't take any of your pain."
"I mean, my back's a little stiff but I'm okay." Maddie shrugged. "Practically pain free."
Practically. The pain of what she endured and the images of what she saw during her near-death experience wallpapered the inside of her head. No matter what she was thinking, it led back to the fire at the only home she ever knew, planes spiraling out of the sky to a barren San Francisco, monsters hunting her, and the empty grave it all led her to again and again.
When she hugged Stiles, he said nothing, which might've been the strangest reaction. Still, he held her tightly and she was grateful for it. In fact, she only barely caught Max peeking around a further corner Maddie couldn't see and saying, "She's awake!"
Stiles backed up and when he looked at her, it wasn't all happy. It was like he was trying to understand something. She didn't have time to say anything to him when she saw Xander Harris speed around the corner and her mind went still for a fraction of a second.
Suddenly, she wasn't hugging Stiles anymore and Xander practically crashed into her with a big bear hug, lifting her off the ground like she was a child and Maddie actually smiled.
"You gave us the scare of a lifetime, kid."
She meant to say 'sorry' but she didn't think she could be this happy to see anyone in her life. Max did a good job, a great job even, but Maddie couldn't imagine anyone else in the world as her Watcher. She hugged him just as hard back until he started complaining about his windpipe and he set her down, still smiling and watching her like if he blinked, she might disappear.
Xander hesitated but shifted away and looked behind him, revealing someone else.
A few feet away, in jeans and a floral top, with an Earthy green jacket - trendy, as usual - was Buffy Summers. Her hair was flat and her makeup was faded. She watched Maddie like she couldn't decide on the right thing to feel, somewhere between shock and sadness and something else Maddie had a hard time placing.
Maddie didn't move. Neither did anyone else - anyone except for Buffy.
Buffy walked over slowly and stopped again in front of Maddie, scanning over her face and stopping below her chin. Her eyes went wide and the color left her face as she moved Maddie's hair away from the bite on her neck. It was as if, for a moment, Buffy was somewhere else, taken away by something in her head. Maybe her gaze went over to Scott, Stiles, and Lydia, but when her green eyes met Maddie's, they were glassy.
She folded Maddie into a hug and Maddie stayed absolutely still, arms at her sides. She was thinner and smaller than Maddie recalled, and the fact that she remembered something from so long ago was its own shock. Maybe if those memories were still there, so were her parents and her brother - but, for now, she would let this be enough.
After a while, the tension ebbed from Buffy and she squeezed tighter. "I'm so sorry."
It was a whisper. A choked sound. A lullaby for a child.
Maddie's throat swelled and her thoughts reeled back. Through thick forests full of every monster and bruise and betrayal. Through the darkness ahead of her, the horrors she saw and the anxiety of them coming to pass.
A year.
A whole year.
No, longer than that.
Longer than any sixteen year old should have to think about. A concrete beginning, during some stupid second grade math quiz, and an end that can only ever come in one form. The fight would never end and the blank gravestone would not be blank forever. What gave Buffy the right to make her into this?
Was that why she apologized the first day, or even why she was apologizing now?
Was it because no one ever said it to her?
She wondered if one day she would shut down in the same way - or if she already did.
"I don't want to be Buffy Summers. I don't want to be a coward."
Maddie slowly raised her arms to Buffy's back and her grip got tighter and tighter, clinging to her, remembering the image of the woman at sixteen with the exact same knowledge and knowing it was a fate they would always share.
Buffy said it again and the words shook. "I'm sorry."
Maddie wanted desperately to say it back, for all the times nobody else did, but her throat was closed. She couldn't will them up after all the will it took to even be here, to survive. She was a child again, cornered and shaking - a little girl missing her big brother, pleading to go home.
For a second, Maddie allowed herself to feel all of it - every second she was afraid just a day and a half ago and how it happened like a blink. Time she would never get back, and who knew how much she would ever have?
The aching loss of every person she would never see again, whose faces would fade from her one day and those which already did, consumed her. She mourned a future she would never be allowed to have.
Her best friend betrayed her. Her best friend was dead.
She thought she would die. She almost died.
And it felt like death.
There was no way to understand or get rid of the sensation of life draining from her body. There was no way to make anyone understand the panic and ache of being needed and carried away and gone. The disjointed horror and sickening relief of gone.
She almost died.
Maddie shoulders fell as the words played on a loop in her head and the weight of it all crushed her.
She cried, first softly and soon constricting her chest, admitting to herself for maybe the first time in her life that she was still so young. Angry and exhausted, with nothing ahead but a deep chasm of inevitability and violent death - but still a child, pleading to go home. Her heart broke a little more with every heaving sob.
"She was just a kid."
Maddie. Marie. Terra, Em, and Charlie. Little, lost Nora and countless more she'd never know.
"Is. She is just a kid."
Just kids.
Her friends, the people she accumulated over months or years, looked on helplessly as Maddie's awful, wailing cries echoed through the hospital wing.
☽ † ☾
Even as an adult, Buffy hated high school, and rightfully so.
Three years directly over a Hellmouth wasn't even a requirement of that - high school already sucked the months before Merrick showed up at Hemery and gave her the whole 'Slayer' speech. So, why exactly was she taking a forced death march down memory lane and walking through this high school?
Mostly because of Maddie.
"I need to go back," she said, sometime after their cry-a-palooza. Her eyes were still beet red and she sniffled. "I, um...I should go back to headquarters with you guys."
Of course they agreed. Buffy didn't have to wonder what changed; the bite on Maddie's neck and the nearly two day hospital stay was its own explanation. She couldn't help but wonder what happened but would give her time. Whatever it was, Maddie wasn't the only one who looked beat up when she and Xander got to town.
Given the message Buffy received that night and the battle scars, she could only imagine.
Her friends left a bit later, all but one - the pale kid with the buzzed head left a while before that, when they weren't looking and without saying a word. It was around the time Maddie noticed this that she said she wanted to get everything ready to go and suggested the school first, to handle the transfer.
When they pulled up, Maddie asked if Buffy could be the one to go in with her - not to Buffy, though. She asked Xander, who then looked at Buffy with a hopeful expression and she hesitantly obliged the request.
The high school was like any other: cramped, claustrophobic hallways with the smell of generic cafeteria food clashing with too much body spray. The office was the same as other school offices, too. Everything was in varying shades of brown and beige as the front office secretary filled out a form on a computer that had to be as old as the students.
Buffy was handed a paper form after awkwardly checking in and rambling into an unneeded explanation on why her "foster child" was transferring again already. The secretary didn't care for it in the least and simply told her to fill out a piece of paper and hand it in with an ID for verification.
Since then, Buffy started texting Xander for the information she needed, section by section.
『Do I say 'homeschool' or is there like a more specific adult answer?』
『What the program we use?』
『What did you list for me as my job?』
『What do you mean self defense instructor?』
Buffy scribbled in the answers one by one and once she finished, she handed it back to the secretary like she was handing in a quiz. She just hoped she wasn't being graded. As Maddie picked up her messenger bag, Buffy walked over to her, treading lightly. "Do you want me to go with you while you clean out your locker or-"
"Madeline." They were about to leave when Buffy heard a voice and it almost sounded familiar, but not quite - like an old record dipping and going off key. She paid no mind and knelt down to grab her purse, slipping her phone into the biggest pocket and already knowing it'd take her forever to find it later.
"It's good to see you again," a woman said, her voice gentle and composed, an old song hitting the wrong notes. "Is this you're foster mother?"
Buffy still paled at the title every time and caught the silent, forced nod from Maddie out of the corner of her eye.
"Hi, I'm-" Buffy raised her head, already plastering on her best 'yes, I'm the adult here' expression when her eyes met with a ghost. She stood there, wide eyed and partially gaping at a woman she swore she knew. Skin the color of clay, but with a new gloss to it. There was no edge to her, no outer shell, but it was her. She knew it was Kendra and it had to be. She dropped her purse. "I'm..."
"Buffy," Maddie finished for her, facing this woman in clothes so un-Kendra-like, it was worth noting. No army greens or over-sized leather jackets or functional boots. No dark makeup or pulled back hair. A Kendra from a completely different universe, older and softer.
Someone tapped Buffy on the shoulder and she turned, an attempt at paying attention as she was met with a strange look from Maddie. Not 'why are you staring?' weird but instead more of a 'I get why you're freaked but play it cool' weird, which was alarming to say the least. There was a sense Maddie knew something here and there was a specific reason she requested Buffy instead of Xander.
Maddie gestured to the woman in front of them. "This is the school therapist, Miss Morrell."
Buffy processed the words a few times over and took more than a second to snap herself out of it.
"Right." She turned back to Miss Morrell and tried at a smile, which probably looked forced and a little horrified. "Nice to meet you."
"I apologize for the intrusion, but did you say something about clearing out a locker?" Her tone was kind but her eyes were slightly narrowed on Buffy. She flashed a quick look to Maddie. "Are you transferring already?"
Buffy nodded a bit more adamantly than she planned. "Yeah...it's just, we're moving. Again."
"Because of her job," Maddie said.
Buffy shot her a look but Maddie didn't meet it. Buffy swallowed and turned back, but every time she looked at the woman across from her, it felt like vertigo. It felt like a trick.
It called for her attention, despite a little voice reminding her people can look almost exactly alike and not know each other. This wasn't an almost situation, though - she looked exactly like a girl who died a hundred miles south of here.
"Right. My self defense teaching job...that I'm changing soon." Buffy could see Maddie whip around but she didn't turn this time. She was sure she wouldn't be able to handle the shock of seeing Kendra again and it not being the right person. "Not that I'm not a fan of self defense."
Miss Morrell quirked an eyebrow. "To what, if you don't mind my asking."
"Counseling."
"Counseling?" Maddie asked, sounding just as perplexed as Buffy felt. It took another few seconds of Buffy not turning for Maddie to get the hint. She turned back to Miss Morrell. "Counseling."
Buffy sent Maddie a pointed look and nodding her head to the door. "I'll be out in a sec."
Maddie hesitated before sending Miss Morrell a tight smile and slipping out the door.
The wheels in Buffy's brain cranked but not the ones she typically used. Something old surged through her, a feeling she tried to replicate a million times through traveling to help other Slayers and going back to school, getting her degree. A feeling buried under the rubble of her hometown.
The heavily beat up kids. The tear in the universe. A doppelganger of a dead slayer.
Calm down, she chided herself. We're not doing this.
"So, counseling," Miss Morrell said. "What kind, may I ask?"
Buffy turned back to the woman, trying to look bright and casual and not like she was crying an hour ago. Still, something about this was important and focus made her 'fake-it-til-you-make-it' policy a little easier. The words were pouring from her mouth with a confidence that said only one thing: This, I can handle.
Buffy smiled politely, trying not to wig. "School counseling, actually."
"That's quite the leap. Of course, I understand it can be strenuous. I've known people in self defense."
"Really?" Buffy's tone was light but there was a hardness behind it. "Anyone I might know?"
"I doubt that." Miss Morrell's eyes narrowed almost imperceptibly.
"Actually I used to be a counselor so it's a little more natural for me, no offense to the admirable occupation of self defense."
"Well, if you are switching career paths, you could always apply here - as long as you don't mind a high turnover rate and far less admirable pay."
There it was. The door was swinging open and all she had to do was walk through it, barrel in as she was known to do in many a dire situation. Then she thought about San Francisco and headquarters. She thought about losing the ability to travel whenever and wherever. The world still offered so much and an open door could close if she stepped inside.
"...I don't think so." Buffy scrunched up her face and gestured around her, the wise 30-something overpowering the impulsive Slayer she used to be. "I've both been there and done that and I think I'm over the whole small town thing."
"That's a shame. I've heard from Madeline's teachers things have been going so well." Miss Morrell smiled and her eyes were clear and alive. "Besides, I think you'd be a great fit here."
Buffy sent her an incredulous but knowing stare. "Why is that? We just met."
Miss Morrell's smile didn't falter in the slightest as she gestured with one hand to Buffy and the door Maddie went through. "It's rare to see a foster parent so young for a teenager. You must really care."
It was getting uncomfortable again, as Buffy was only just informed about one of the Argents poisoning Maddie in the past 48 hours with, of all things, the Cruciamentum. She hoped all traces of those traditions went up in flames with the original council; she even took comfort in thinking no girl would ever have to go through it again. Meanwhile, Maddie was having it injected into her while she slept and Buffy was too busy cutting herself out of the picture to notice what was really happening.
She tried her best not to grimace.
"That's me. All about the next generation."
"Consider it. This isn't an offer per se, I'm just refocusing my efforts on teaching this coming fall and would hope someone qualified and preferably good with teenagers is chosen to take my place." Miss Morrell offered her hand and Buffy went cold, the word 'chosen' ping-ponging between her ears.
"I get that," she said and slowly took the offered hand, shaking it. Part of her expected her hand would go straight through and another part of her expected it to be icy. Buffy let go as soon as she deemed it appropriate without being suspicious. "I should probably catch up to Maddie."
"Of course. I've taken up plenty of your time."
Buffy left quietly and calmly until the door clicked shut behind her and the mask dropped. Maddie was stared at her phone by the lockers and Buffy caught up to her, processing what just happened.
Maddie looked up on cue and beat her to the punch. "What was that about?"
"Oh, no. No, no, no, no. We're doing this my way." Buffy's voice went tight and harsh as she proceeded to get more and more worked up about the conversation she just had and what it could mean. She walked faster than Maddie and cut her off. "What was with the look? Did you know I'd react like that?"
"No," Maddie said quickly, shoulders practically up to her chin. Buffy didn't falter for a second and Maddie's shoulders drooped. "Maybe."
"How?"
"I can't explain it right now."
"That's not how this works."
"I can't. I just can't, okay?" Maddie kept going, becoming flustered and Buffy wasn't sure why. She knew things weren't fix between them, far from it, but if Maddie was withholding info after everything she just went through, there was a bigger problem. "You can be mad, just...ask me any time after tonight."
"Why after tonight? What's going on tonight?"
"There's one more thing left for me to do."
☽ † ☾
They would all meet at the preserve. That was step one.
After a long, near-scalding shower, Maddie was watching the time on her phone as it charged for the first time in over two days. There was an obscene amount of panicked voicemails and texts, so many that she took a half hour to go through all of them. Most of them, as usual, were from Xander, then Buffy, and further down on the list was Stiles.
Stiles, who left the hospital first and hasn't answered any of her messages. She assumed he knew the plan tonight, as there was a detailed message about it that she at least knew Scott read.
She was sitting on a stiff bed at the motel where all of this started, with her own room because no one was willing to share a bed and no rooms had more than two. Buffy and Xander were down the hall and would probably wait until morning to bug her. They knew the drill tonight. This wasn't their mission; it was Maddie's and she was determined to complete it.
Scott ➔『Did you need a ride?』
Which always meant one thing.
『yeah.』
She waited outside, hugging her leather jacket to her despite the lack of cold. She looked around and thought about the first time she stayed in one of these rooms, alone and angry and trying to forget. She thought about the school that first night and her missing messenger bag and stupid shopping trips. She thought about the dance where she didn't dance and rooming at the Argent's home and falling at the ice rink. She remembered laughing in a car like...like her life was something normal. Like she was normal, even for a second.
Headlights blinded her and died away as an engine cut and a door slammed. She blinked and saw the blue jeep in front of her, empty on the inside with the shadow of a boy beside it.
"Stiles?" There was hesitation in her voice as she approached the Jeep.
"Yeah," Stiles said, a full stop in his voice. A caution sign.
"Where's Scott and everyone?"
"He said they'd meet us there."
"Oh."
The longer the quiet stretched, the more it lengthened the space between them.
Even when he looked at her, he didn't really look at her, like he was focused on whatever was directly over her left shoulder. "Are you ready to go?"
"I'm not sure. Is everything okay?" Maddie asked and the words sounded odd coming from her. Like she wasn't used to them. "You haven't really said anything all day."
"Yeah, I'm fine."
It hurt a little to be on the other side of that line, after everything. Maddie pushed it down and flattened her voice. "Really?"
There was a pause and Maddie finally noticed the tension in the air, all of it coming from him.
"Yeah, I'm okay." His tone made it obvious that he was, in fact, not okay. He still wouldn't look at her. "I mean, sure, I got my ass kicked by an evil senior citizen, feared for my life and the lives of my friends for ten hours straight, and - oh yeah! You lied to my face and kept your planned death a secret. Other than that? I'm great! I'm fan-freakin'-tastic."
He kicked the front tire, the sound an exclamation point on his rant.
Maddie wasn't watching him anymore, thinking about this time two days ago at the Preserve. He was right there, so close and she wanted to tell him all of it. When she cried, she wanted to tell him her plan and hoped he'd find a way to stop it. Something clever. Her better judgement - or maybe her pride - stopped her from doing any of that.
Maddie swallowed, her back stiff as she was reminded of the sensation of sinking. "I'm sorry. I'm just...I know there's nothing I can say to take it back. I had to make a decision."
It's like all she could say were the wrong things.
"You had to?" Stiles finally looked at her and there was so much anger and hurt there that she sank further. "You had to. That's weird because it sounds a lot like a typical Maddie plan."
Maddie's brows furrowed and a flare of annoyance lit up her insides. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"Oh, let's see! You hide crucial, life or death information, decide you're the only one who can handle whatever it is, and nearly get yourself killed! Again!" He was shouting and gesturing wildly. He met her eyes and took a step forward. "What? Was it funny to see the look on my face when you straight up lied?"
"No! I..." Maddie started but the rest of the sentence died on her tongue as she looked away, to the ground.
"You what?" Stiles asked. "Explain to me how any of this is okay."
The air was thick and her nerves were jagged. It was only the second time in a day someone was upset with her for her lack of communication and she was reminded of being in the car with Argent, half-dead and furious at his part in all of this. He was right though; she would've died without them. He was right and she could hate the Argents all she wanted, but the only reason she could was because they saved her life. His answer made more sense now than ever.
Maddie took a breath and found the strength to meet his eyes again.
"Your right. It's not okay, but I really need you to understand something." Maddie's eyes narrowed and a piece of the girl she was flowed back to her consciousness so naturally, it felt like it never left. "You need to get over it."
Stiles' eyes grew wide and the anger in them flared to life. "What?"
"This is what our lives are. Pain and blood and ugly death. How many times did you think you might die last night?"
Stiles' eyes darted away and he said nothing.
"We risk our lives daily and there's no way I'm gonna stop to ask permission or apologize every single time I make a decision without consulting the group," said Maddie, her words cold but without malice. She didn't want them to hurt anymore that she knew they would. She swallowed and the shadow of what she saw when she was near death stretched over her. "We don't have that kind of time."
"So, you're not sorry. Like, at all," Stiles said when his deadpan stare met hers again. When she didn't answer, he got all huffy and his voice was loud at least loud enough that it carried. "Y'know, you can at least pretend to apologize. It's what the rest of us do."
Maddie rolled her eyes and folded her arms over her chest. "Stiles, there's gonna be a day when you do something so monumentally stupid that you might think no one will ever forgive you."
A pause followed and Stiles was glaring at her - or maybe just squinting really hard, looking for the lie. Maybe he snapped out of it because he couldn't find it. "Wow, this conversation is really not going the way I thought. Thank you for this. Really. I'm so happy we had this heart to heart."
His voice was level again and seemed to give into exhaustion, like he was looking for a way out of this.
"You don't get it." Maddie was shaking her head. Trying to think of a better way to explain, a softer way, but she was Maddie and never thought of anything like that. This was all she had and it was at least enough to get his attention. She swallowed as the two warring sides of her fought - the part of her that needed him to stay and her pride. "I trust you enough to know you'll probably do even the dumbest decision for a good reason."
It was her turn to not look at him. To look at everything but him. When he didn't answer her, she began to get antsy, maybe a little nervous.
Her throat was dry when she swallow and she kept going. "Same with Scott. It doesn't matter if I disagree. I need to trust that you have some idea what you're doing. We don't have the luxury of stopping to apologize and forgive each other every ten minutes."
The night was quiet and there was still so much to do. Every silence made her panic. Every moment that dragged on felt like time lost.
"But wouldn't it be cool if we did?" he asked.
Maddie braved a glance over in Stiles' direction and he was watching her. She searched for a hint of a change and tried at a smile.
Stiles didn't budge. His eyebrows went up and the look he was giving her was not unlike the 'I'm the adult here' expression Buffy wore earlier. "Don't give me that look."
"Why?"
"Because I'm still pissed off!" he practically shouted but the edge in his voice was already lost. "So before you start thinking you can drop something like that and just do that thing with your face-"
Maddie gave him a scrutinizing look. "Smiling?"
"Yeah, well, it's not gonna be that easy, okay?" he said, sounding flustered more than angry. He pointed at her. "I'm onto you."
Maddie bit her lip to keep from laughing. She even missed this part - the stupid back and forth sniping that used to be the extent of their interactions. She took a breath to push down giddiness and nodded towards the road. "We should probably head to the preserve."
Stiles' arm dropped in defeat as he let out a loud exhale and walked towards the jeep. Maddie had already started toward the passenger side and climbed in.
Stiles closed his door and started the car as she put her seatbelt on, the anxiety of her dreams there but at arm's length. Just far enough that maybe she'd be okay.
Stiles barely got to the first turn before she spoke again.
"But can we stop somewhere for food first?"
"Maddie." It was like a warning but barely and there was something else about it that she noticed. Maddie. He hardly ever called her Maddie. She decided to keep trying, that there had to be something she could say to make it better - even if the logic in her head was telling her differently.
"I could really go for some deep fried carbs. Or maybe a caramel latte. I could use the caffeine. I feel like I've had enough sleep for a lifetime." Maddie allowed the silence to hang there for a second, feeling more and more like an idiot the more she talked. "Get it?"
Stiles side-eyed her for a fraction of a second and didn't say a word.
Maddie's face finally fell as she deflated and sat back. For a while she reverted to old habits and watched the houses pass by the window, then the trees. She would miss this. She'd miss the trees and the long stretches of nothing. She'd miss the hiccuping grumble of the engine. It wasn't even like she was leaving the state but San Francisco could've easily been a world away the way she saw it.
"God, you're bad at jokes."
The corner of her mouth curled upward as something in her chest warmed.
They rode the rest of the way to Beacon Hills Preserve in silence and it was okay. Stiles didn't stop anywhere, possibly out of spite but if that was a concession Maddie had to make, there were worse things. She allowed herself to be there and cling to the moment as it passed through her fingers like sand. The trees of the preserve should've reminded her of running through them in - well, wherever she was when she lost consciousness. Purgatory, maybe.
The Other Side is what that woman called it. It sounded so cheesy, like something you'd hear in church or read on the internet. The Other Side wasn't a real place, and if it was they needed to think up a better title.
It didn't matter because the trees reminded her of finding two wolves and punching one square in the jaw. She thought about Scott saving her that night and how much everything changed after that. Maybe she made her life harder; on the other hand, maybe she was saved from more than just a wolf attack. Who would she be if she stayed at HQ, drowning in her memories?
When they stopped, Maddie blinked and focused her eyes on the windshield. She expected to see the field and scorched earth but found herself gazing out at a ledge in the distance. Maddie turned to Stiles, who was already getting out of the car and she tried her best to keep up. Stiles headed to the front of the jeep and leaned against the grill, shoving his hands in his sweat jacket pockets. Maddie followed at a distance and stopped in front of his but a fair bit away.
He gave her a look and scooted over. Maddie glared and sidestepped over to the spot beside him. The grill wasn't wide by any means and her side smashed in close to his.
She looked down past the ledge and remembered this. The town at dusk, glowing dimly with orange light. The sky was more purple and deep blue than pink or orange, growing darker and darker and there would be a sunrise on the other side of this. There would be another day and she would be there for it.
"I'm still mad at you," Stiles said quietly.
Maddie was startled back to attention and the jab felt physical. "I get that."
"You almost died."
"Yeah."
"If you did..." He didn't finish the sentence.
It felt like something in her chest cracked. "I know."
"And!" he said louder and she jumped a little. Even when he wasn't gesturing like a maniac, he moved when he talked. "And you come back from near death and had this huge battle which probably looked badass and epic and none of were there to see it! And I won the game! I was on the field and I scored the winning freaking goal and you were somewhere dying!"
Maddie turned her head slightly, brows raised and her lips tugging upwards as she glanced up at him. He wasn't really tall but enough that she craned her neck when they stood this close.
"What?!"
"... You won?"
"Yes, I won." He was irate again and his voice was clipped and tense. "You wanna know what I won? A geriatric beating and having to witness Jackson's bare ass spotlighted by my car!"
Maddie couldn't help it; she burst out laughing and she wasn't sure if it was because of what he said or how angry he sounded saying it. Her voice was loud enough to carry and filled the empty space as her stomach cramped.
She didn't have to look at him to know he was gaping at her. "Are- are you seriously laughing at me right now?"
"I'm sorry!" she said through her laughter, looking over at his annoyed face. She forced herself to stop and take a breath, quieting the hiccuping laughs in between and trying for her typical serious expression. "I'm sorry."
There was a pause and she snorted another laugh and then Stiles was laughing, probably at her but she didn't care.
"Stop laughing!"
"But did you see how dramatically he stood up?!" She choked out. "I seriously thought he was going to burst into song right there in front of everyone!"
"Oh, ever better! Thank you!" He yelled but he was still grinning like an idiot. "I can add that to my nightmares!"
Her laughter was calming down and she realized she was staring. She turned back to the town below and nudged him with her shoulder. "Still made you smile."
"...You're so lucky I like you," he mumbled.
Her smile grew but she didn't have the confidence left to look at him. "I kinda am."
"Okay, but what about the other thing?"
"The other thing?"
"You know, the..." Again, he looked as if he was trying to draw the words out with his hands before crossing his arms. "We were, uh, supposed to meet up."
Suddenly, Maddie understood why they were there instead of where they needed to be and all laughter completely left her. She pushed herself off the car, her thoughts circling around her decision. I want to go back. That's what she told Buffy and she meant it. There was so much to do. Something was coming, she was sure of it. "I remember."
"So..."
Maddie watched the town below glow burnt orange from streetlights and grimaced at the memory of her childhood home ablaze. Her dream or whatever she would eventually decide to call it steadied her more than anything. If this would be her life, she would try and stop the oncoming storm. Trying was better than waiting. "I thought you were mad at me."
"I am! And I should be way more pissed than I am right now." Stiles actually did sound more annoyed than she expected, but not in the way she was used to. He sounded like someone who might've been at a loss of words, but this was Stiles and Maddie was sure that wasn't possible. It was a kind of defeated annoyed, the kind that meant 'let down'. "Why me? Why did you ask me to leave school and spend the day with you?"
Every swerve she made to avoid explanation failed her, but every real answer she thought of made her think of dying and what it felt like to anticipate it. She wasn't ready to feel that again.
Maddie turned all the way around and he was watching her through narrowed eyes and she was reminded of the first night in the school and the distance she felt from everything. "Because I knew you would."
"That's it? That's the only reason?"
She didn't move or look at him.
"I just wanna understand," he said.
If she answered, there was no turning back. There would be no way to take it back. Maddie swallowed. "They threatened the whole town if I didn't make the sacrifice. The cult. The Father. He threatened everyone. They tortured and killed a man when I said no and they made me watch. And I kept saying no until-"
Her eyes were back on the ground and she felt like an idiot as her voice got quieter and raspier.
"Until what?"
"When Sadie called you that night, it was a trap," Maddie said to the grass more than to Stiles. "She was working with them and she let them set that vampire loose inside the barrier. It was coming for you and then the rest would come after everyone else."
Her phone was sticking out of her back pocket and somewhere on it was a video from an ice rink. Maddie thought of the panic and rage towards the vampires and Sadie as she was held back. She used the words like she wish she used them before - to force herself forward. To find something in them that made sense and hold onto it.
Right now, what she was holding onto was how his expression changed when she braved a glance in his direction. His brow loosened and his eyes got wide and she wondered if it was because he was trying to connect the dots in his head or because she was inching slowly forward - towards him.
"I didn't care if it was stupid or selfish," she said. Every time she got embarrassed about studying his hands when he drove or thought about the way his eye color went from amber to deep earth depending on what he was saying or thinking felt like stepping in the wrong direction. She was right about one thing: there was so little time and she wasted so much of it. "If it came down to you or me-"
"Don't," Stiles said, shaking his head slowly as she stopped just within arm's reach. "You can't just do that. It's not fair."
"Stiles, my Slayer powers activated when I was eight. Fair never entered into the equation." Maddie was still watching him as she took one more step and silently marveled at how different a person could look up close. Her dream from months back didn't account for that as she fought to keep this, the memory of this. "I didn't get to choose the life I was given and I'm not going to get a whole lot more of it - but you know what?"
He was stammering, obviously aware of her proximity. "I, um...I mean- I-I'm not sure what..."
After feeling like she was the one with all the frayed nerves, it was endearing to hear him have trouble with a sentence while kept his eyes on her.
Maddie smiled slightly when she opened her mouth. "What I do with the rest of it is my choice."
She couldn't help but wonder if he could tell what she was thinking, because he was glancing from her eyes to her mouth in rapid succession. He licked his lips and breathed out through his nose. If Maddie didn't know any better, she could've sworn that they were a fraction closer than before. "Mads..."
When he said her name, it felt like more than that - it felt like something valuable. It was a hoarse whisper, the beginning of a sentence that might've been on the tip of his tongue for weeks.
His hand found hers, lightly at first as a fuzzy warmth opened up in her chest. It was so simple and they were barely touching but it was enough to send a hum of electricity over her skin, enough for a shiver to run up her spine. He threaded his fingers through hers and squeezed a little. She wondered vaguely if it was a surprise that she didn't stop him.
They were too close. Close enough that she could feel his warm breath on her lips. Close enough that there was no mistaking intentions. Her heart was hammering in her chest and she swore it was quiet enough that she could hear it.
When she leaned in and brushed her lips against his, warm and soft and open, it was just barely a kiss. It was more like reaching out and hoping she'd find someone else to hold onto, proof she wasn't alone. Proof that she made it out alive, actually alive. Something so small and so brief, it was a wonder that she had time to close her eyes. It was a wonder it happened at all. It was hardly anything but still had the ability to make her hope she didn't light up like a Christmas display.
Everything before was dulled, muted. The earth smelled like a rainstorm she wasn't sure actually happened and he still smelled like the clean laundry and the inside of his stupid jeep - like woods and exhaust and something she was still reaching for.
They were apart already even if it was only the space of a breath. She realized just then that he didn't actually react; did he have time to even close his eyes?
Then Stiles' hands were cupping her face, rough and warm and guiding her gently to him as he brought her mouth back to his with more urgency, maybe because there was so little time. Speaking of time, she didn't have nearly enough to recover her pride when she shivered.
There was an endearing sloppiness as his lips moved unsurely against hers, a fumbling sort of wonder that probably came with inexperience. She meant to say it's okay, that she was hardly any better, but she couldn't put the words together. She couldn't manage full sentences with the way he made her flustered and deliriously happy at the same time. Besides, before didn't seem to matter all that much at the moment.
And they were kissing and it wasn't just something to do because there was nothing to talk about or they didn't find each other actually interesting. Talking to him was one of her favorite things to do up until ten seconds ago. Twenty seconds. Maybe forty.
It wasn't some dream either and she knew it; she could feel every second of this. Her hands moved to the nape of his neck, her thumb just grazing his hairline. She inhaled sharply when his hand touched her waist. His touch was hesitant and light at first, moving constantly like he was worried he'd do the wrong thing, but as soon as she made a noise, his hands became steadier as he kept her firmly against his chest.
Maddie moved her mouth away from his, it was like he was trying to catch her again and pull her back to him. She felt like her skin was humming as she smiled in spite of her swollen lips and knew that when she opened her eyes, the moment would be gone.
His voice was quiet and rough when he spoke so close to her, she could almost feel the words against her lips. "Definitely not how I thought this conversation would go."
Their foreheads were touching and she knew he was smiling. She didn't reply but she made a soundless laugh.
When Maddie opened her eyes, Stiles was still there, his eyes drifting over her face and so close that it would be easy to kiss him again. She didn't and she knew she would regret it later when she said, "We should get to the town limits before it gets late."
His gaze met hers and it was the strangest thing, dark and wide-eyed. Astonished, like he couldn't believe what he was seeing or what just happened. Like she was something rare and remarkable that he couldn't fathom. He blinked rapidly and the moment passed as he tried to regain his levity and humor.
"Right! Yeah. We should go do that." He looked behind him and back to her. "Could you, uh..."
Maddie peered behind him and realized he was pinned between her and the jeep. Her already flushed face probably turned a deeper red as she took a step back and away from her grip. Instead of simply letting her go, his fingers dragged along her waist as the warmth of his body left her and she could not be more thankful for her leather jacket as it hid the goosebumps on her arms and along the trail his fingers made.
She cleared her throat and immediately headed for the passenger side door, getting in and shutting it behind her as quickly as possible.
It was a minute or so before Stiles climbed into the driver's side and started the car. The realization that this would be the last time she saw this view - the town below at dusk - felt like she was losing something important. She convinced herself that she would see it again, even if it was years, because it was at least something she would fight to see again. As they backed up and drove off, she looked at Stiles - not through a mirror or the reflection in the window, but freely and openly studying the boy next to her.
The silence, as she expected, didn't last long.
"Okay, but can I say something?" Stiles asked.
Maddie grinned. "I'd be shocked if you didn't."
"Buffy. Is that actually her real name?"
"Is Stiles your real name?"
"Real enough."
"Wait, what?"
"Buffy," he said the name like he was testing it. "Buffy Summers. Sounds kinda made up."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, c'mon, her full title would be what? Buffy the Vampire Slayer? You can't tell me that doesn't sound cheesy."
Maddie shrugged. "I don't know, I kinda like it. It's catchy."
She would fight to come back to this, to sit here again and talk about everything and nothing. She would fight to return to her friends and a boy she hoped was more than that.
Maddie had to believe she could stop the world from ending if not for anything else but to finally go home.