✔︎ GET YOU • jungwon - Chapter 8: Chapter 8

The air was thick because of the humid weather. Right beside the window of the classroom, sat Jungwon lazily in his chair. His face was facing sideways, cheeks flat on the wooden table while his hand fumbled randomly on his blue pen.
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All while his classmates chatter around during break time, he huffs and puffs, completely dejected over what happened yesterday.
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"I think tutoring is not for her, Jungwon. I'm afraid it's going to drain Hani's energy. It's really not about you, boy."
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"As if." Jungwon tched before pouting. "Maybe... I really did creep her out." He murmurs slowly.
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"As you may know, Hani is a different case. She needs special care and understanding."
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His palm lazily flies to his cheek, slapping himself heavily before rubbing his face in annoyance. He felt drowsy, but too energetic at the same time. He wants to do something, but he knows he can't.
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"I know I should understand her, but I'm just so annoyed." He whispers to himself, but it sounded almost like a hush. Even when it happened yesterday, his heart was still heavy.
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Yang Jungwon is not the type to carry grudges or negative feelings for long, but here he was, closing his eyes, opening them, fumbling with his hand, fisting it. He had absolutely no idea what to do with this frustration of his.
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"Who should you understand?" Just then, a face barricaded the window view from Jungwon. It's his friend, Sunoo.
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Jungwon furrowed his eyebrows, before confiding his face to his arms. He grunted, "None of your business."
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"Totally." Sunoo stood straight and crossed his arms.
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"I don't care who you should understand and why you're annoyed, but it's my business that you haven't been eating properly. So, let's go to the cafeteria and fill ourselves, I heard they have grilled squid on the menu." He said, before tugging Jungwon by his uniform vest.
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However, the latter didn't even budge. "I'm not hungry." Jungwon groaned as he sat firmly on his seat, face still buried in his arms.
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"Are you starving yourself over a girl?" Sunoo raised an eyebrow, while Jungwon lifted his head. How did he know about Hani? Jungwon panicked.
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By the looks of Jungwon's reaction, Sunoo confirmed that his friend is— indeed— experiencing a chick problem.
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"You were the one who told me not to skip any meals. If you want to get thinner, skipping meals isn't the way to go." Sunoo blabbered based on his presumption.
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"If you want to impress that girl—" However, talking and thinking about Hani is something that Jungwon would want right now.
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"Sunoo, just please— Can't you leave me alone for a second?" Jungwon harshly says with a glum frown, and Sunoo had misinterpreted that into thinking that he irritated Jungwon.
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"I..." Sunoo was speechless. Jungwon was always laidback, and he never burst out no matter how he teased, annoyed, or forced him. His friend is always straightforward when it comes to what he likes and dislike. That's why it was rare to get Jungwon to be despondent.
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"Right.. Ni-ki and I will be in the cafeteria. If ever, you changed your mind." Sunoo says with a low and guilty voice, before marching off of Jungwon's classroom.
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Jungwon knew that he made Sunoo feel embarrassed, and that fact only added to his already dispirited status. Disheveling his hair, he buried his face in his arms yet again. Because if he can't solve this heavy heart while awake, then maybe he can while he's asleep.
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—
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Meanwhile, Hani could only heave a sigh. Outside of a classroom, she held a box full of cupcakes that she helped her mother baked yesterday in order to ease her anxiety.
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She witnessed it: How disheartened Jungwon looked, how snarky he talked to his close friend, and how drained his eyes were from his usual clear and reflective orbs.
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And she knew she was the reason for it.
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Hani looked down to the box she held, the insides could be seen because of the plastic film right in the middle of the blue box decorated in silver ribbon. The longer she looked at the red and violet frosted cupcakes, the bigger the hate she felt for herself.
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Tears threaten to fall from her eyes, and as it blurs her vision, one tear escapes and falls on the box.
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All I need to do is to give this to him, but I can't even do that. She hated herself, she hated how she is, how her body reacts to the simplest and most normal things. Hani never wished to be like this.
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But for years of having this condition, she barely even made progress. She wasn't coping out of her own misery, and now that it was affecting someone too, Hani couldn't help but blame herself.
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In a shared frustration, she hastily wipes her tears away and runs to the end of the hallway, where the segregated bins are.
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Without any hesitation, she threw it there. But regret quickly resurfaced.
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"Hani, you know you can't keep living like this, right? Honey, I know it must be too much for you, and that you're trying hard. But please don't push away those people who's willing to help you."
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Her mother's kind words rang in her head, and she hated herself even more. Staring off at the trashed cupcakes, she bit her lips. Her hands were tightly fisted, and she was breathing heavily. Again, she was hyperventilating.
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"Why do I have to be like this?"