𝙂𝙧𝙞𝙩 & 𝙂𝙧𝙖𝙘𝙚| 𝘽𝙤𝙤𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙡𝙡 𝙭 𝙍𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙧 - Chapter 20: Chapter 20

The days after Y/N shared the news of her pregnancy with Boothill, March, and Himeko felt like a delicate balance of emotions—fear, hope, and the ever-present uncertainty about what the future would hold. Y/N couldn't shake the feeling that the world around her was slowly starting to shift. She was becoming more attuned to the subtle changes, the way things felt... different.
Every time she looked in the mirror, she saw herself as if for the first time. Her body had begun to change in ways she wasn't used to—subtle at first, but undeniable now. It was like the reality she had known was being rewritten, and she wasn't sure how to stop it. But Boothill's presence, his unwavering support, gave her the strength to face each new day, each new challenge that presented itself.
But the questions—those persistent questions—kept gnawing at her. Was she truly capable of becoming a mother when she wasn't even alive in the way other people were? And how would this pregnancy affect her existence, her reality, and the world around her? Was there even a way to stop the chain of events she had set into motion?
She found herself standing in her apartment late one night, staring out the window at the star-filled sky. Boothill had left for another bounty, but he had promised to return soon. His absence left a space in her that was hard to fill, and with him gone, her mind had a tendency to wander back to those terrifying thoughts.
What if this is all a mistake? What if it's going to end badly?
A sudden knock on the door startled her from her thoughts. She took a breath and moved toward it, unsure who would be visiting at this hour. When she opened it, she found March standing there, a warm smile on her face despite the late hour.
"Y/N! Thought I'd come by and check in on you. You've been looking a little... lost lately," March said, stepping inside. "You okay?"
Y/N smiled weakly, gesturing for March to sit. "I've been better. Just... a lot on my mind. You know how it is."
March raised an eyebrow, sitting down and crossing her arms. "I get it. You've got a lot of weight on your shoulders right now. And trust me, it's totally understandable. But you don't have to carry it all alone. That's what friends are for."
Y/N sighed, sitting beside her. "I'm not sure how to keep going, March. The more I think about this pregnancy, the more I'm starting to wonder if I'm making a huge mistake. I'm not supposed to be pregnant. I wasn't meant for this. It could alter everything—everything about me and the world around us."
March studied her carefully, her expression softening with empathy. "You're right, Y/N. It's a big deal. But you're not alone in this. You have us. And you have Boothill. He's not going anywhere, right?"
Y/N nodded, though the knot in her stomach remained tight. "I know. He's been incredible. But sometimes... sometimes I feel like I'm too broken for this. Like maybe I'm not even real enough to be carrying a child."
March tilted her head, her voice gentle but firm. "Y/N, listen to me. You are more real than anything in this universe. You feel, you think, you care. You've made your own choices, built your own life, and you've become someone who matters. Just because you weren't born the way other people were doesn't make you any less real. And no one—no one—can take that from you."
Y/N bit her lip, trying to hold back the tears that threatened to spill over. Her emotions had been a whirlwind, and sometimes it felt like she couldn't catch her breath. But hearing March's words, hearing her belief in her, made something inside her shift.
"I don't want to break the world, March," Y/N whispered. "I don't know what's happening to me, to us. What if my pregnancy is the thing that breaks everything? What if I can't control it?"
March's eyes softened, her voice quiet but steady. "What if it's what saves it instead?"
Y/N blinked, taken aback by her friend's words. "What do you mean?"
"What if this child, this pregnancy, is meant to change the world?" March asked, leaning forward. "We've all been through some crazy stuff, and we've seen how things can shift. What if your reality isn't breaking, Y/N? What if it's evolving? Maybe it's not something to be afraid of."
Y/N let those words sink in. Evolving. The idea lingered in her mind like a spark, something that hadn't occurred to her before. What if she wasn't fighting against something that was falling apart? What if this was the next step in her journey—a step she was meant to take?
She looked at March, a new sense of clarity slowly taking root. "You think... you think it could be a good thing?"
March smiled softly. "I don't know for sure, but I believe in you. And I believe that, no matter what happens, you're going to figure it out. You're not alone in this. And you're not a mistake."
Y/N felt the knot in her chest loosen just a little, the suffocating weight lifting off her shoulders. March's words had a way of making things seem just a little more bearable, like a light in the middle of her overwhelming uncertainty.
Before she could respond, the door creaked open, and Boothill stepped inside. His dark eyes met hers, and for a moment, everything else faded away. His presence filled the room like a calm storm, steady and certain.
"March," he greeted, his voice low and steady. "Everything alright?"
"Yeah," March said with a grin, standing up to leave. "Just giving Y/N a little pep talk. You're both going to need it, trust me."
Boothill raised an eyebrow but said nothing, instead watching as March left with a wink. When the door shut, he turned to Y/N, his gaze softening as he saw the look in her eyes.
"Hey," he said gently, walking over to her. "How are you really doing?"
Y/N met his eyes, feeling a mix of uncertainty and hope. "I'm... trying to figure it out. I don't know what this means for me, for us. I don't know if I'm ready for this."
Boothill knelt in front of her, taking her hands in his. His touch was grounding, familiar. "You don't have to have all the answers right now, Y/N. I'm here with you, every step of the way. We'll figure it out together. No matter what happens, I'm not going anywhere. We'll face whatever comes next."
Y/N closed her eyes, leaning into the comfort of his words. She wasn't alone in this—not anymore. With Boothill, with March and Himeko, with the people who cared about her, maybe she could find a way to make this work. Maybe she could be the kind of mother she never thought she'd be. Maybe, just maybe, this pregnancy wasn't the end of her world—it was the beginning of something new.
As the night stretched on and the stars twinkled outside the window, Y/N let herself believe that, for the first time, things might actually be okay.