Hate to Love You - Chapter 33: Chapter 33

Hannah
H: Thanks for the coffee. I don't think I would have survived without it.
T: I figured you were gonna be tired. I didn't exactly go easy on you.
H: If easy means letting me go to sleep before 4 in the morning, then no, you didn't go easy on me. I was so out of it, I walked into the wrong class and sat there for 10 minutes before realizing I wasn't supposed to be in Greek Literature 303. I thought I couldn't understand anything because I was just that tired.
I could still feel him, especially when I sat down or crossed my legs. And I was exhausted. Tristan had only allowed me short power naps before waking me up again. His stamina both impressed and terrified me. And yet I couldn't deny that last night was incredible — indescribable.
T: I would say I'm sorry, but then I'd be lying. My coach told me to stop smiling so much because I was freaking out the freshmen.
I giggled at his response, sitting on the edge of my bed before flopping back onto the mattress. Even though I was exhausted, a restless energy buzzed through me — and it felt suspiciously like I missed him. Which was ridiculous, considering I'd seen him less than two hours ago when he dropped off my coffee at the library. It had been a quick drop-and-go since he had another class, but I could still feel the lingering warmth of the sneaky kiss he left me with.
Unprompted, my mind drifted back to last night. It almost felt unreal. Just yesterday, we were friends, and now... friends with benefits, I guess. Exclusive friends with benefits. And I couldn't bring myself to regret any of it, not when my body responded to his hands like he was the one who'd sculpted it.
I didn't even know men were capable of that. Bailey always said most guys were either too focused on themselves or clueless about what a woman actually wanted, since every woman had different needs. I could definitely attest to that with Dylan — last night had really highlighted just how selfish and lazy he'd been. But not Tristan — I liked everything he did. Were we compatible, or was he more experienced than I'd realized?
I didn't know how to feel about the latter, but, honestly, I couldn't complain when that experience gave me the best sex of my life. Besides, I had no room to judge anyone for their past partners, considering my shining example of a past.
My thoughts were interrupted by the sound of my phone ringing. I grabbed it, half-expecting it to be Tristan. But when I saw my best friend's name flash across the screen, I smiled. Pleasantly surprised and not at all disappointed, I answered without hesitation.
"Hey, there, Bay leaf."
"Hey, there, Sugartits," she purred back.
I laughed, staring up at my ceiling. "Sugartits?"
"Some crackhead at the 7/11 called me that, and I laughed so hard I almost peed myself. You should've seen his face — he looked like he genuinely thought I belonged in a mental hospital," she cackled.
"You do belong in a mental hospital."
"They'd never be able to keep me there," she said, sounding way too smug about it. "Anyway, you told me to call you ASAP, and I checked your timetable — saw you're done with classes. So, talk dirty to me, darling."
Right. Where did I even begin? Might as well get straight to the point.
"I had sex with Tristan."
Her scream was so loud, it made me wince and pull the phone away from my ear. It went on long enough that I had to bite back a groan, trying not to laugh. I'd expected this reaction, but it still made me feel a little shy.
"Oh my god," she finally gasped, breathless with excitement. "I knew it would happen! Now spill — I need all the details."
Letting out a soft laugh, I began to fill her in. Though, I didn't tell her everything — just how things had led up to that moment and our arrangement. She let me speak with minimal interruption, only adding the occasional dramatic sound effect.
"...and then it happened." I nibbled on my bottom lip, giddy as I recalled exactly what happened. "We slept together."
"Oh, it doesn't sound like you guys did a whole lot of sleeping," she teased, her voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper. "Did he introduce you to the elusive Lady O?"
A coy smile played on my lips as I thought about how to answer. "We met. She's a lovely lady, especially when you get to know her as well as I did."
This earned me another ear-piercing scream, and I couldn't help but laugh.
"Where's my best friend and what have you done with her, you imposter!" She squealed, making me laugh even harder. "Now I need to know how he managed to get my Hannah to agree to be friends with benefits with a musclehead. The dick can't possibly be that good."
I responded with a noncommittal noise and a snicker. According to Bailey, we needed to share all of our personal secrets. She was the one person I told everything to, so usually, I'd be happy to tell her everything. It's just that with Tristan... I didn't know where to start. Things were intense and explosive, and I didn't know how to describe them to her. It would probably take a couple of drinks before I could even start to describe some of the things he'd done to me.
"Oh, I could strangle you. Just wait until I get there. I'm going to hold you down until you give me all of the dirty details. I've already cyber-stalked him, so I know he gives off Big Dick Energy. Have you seen the pictures of him in football tights?"
"I've seen him wearing the tights. I've also seen him out of them." An image of him moving above me flashed in my mind, abs rippling as he... I had to clear my throat as saliva flooded my mouth.
"And you're not going to tell me anything? Fine, hold onto your secrets for now. I'll get them out of you eventually." Despite her words, her tone was light and playful. That was until she sobered and asked, "But seriously, how are you really feeling about this whole situation?"
I knew what she was asking. She knew me better than anyone else, and she could sense that I felt out of my element. I didn't do things like this, especially when I was still grappling with the aftermath of everything with Dylan.
Letting out a weary sigh, I admitted, "It's only been a day, so it's hard to really say how I feel. I've got my doubts, but... I like him. He makes me laugh, and he's a genuinely good guy. I don't know. I guess we'll just have to see how it unfolds." I wasn't the type to 'wait and see,' but at this point, there really was no other option.
There was a brief silence before she announced, "I'm going to vet him. Don't even think about dating him until I give my blessing, okay?"
I frowned. "Neither of us wants a relationship, remember? Don't waste your time, Bay."
"Hannah," she said firmly, her tone leaving no room for argument. "I know you. You're loyal to a fault and you devote everything to those you love — it's why you're scared to put yourself out there. Now, I'm not going to discourage you when you do actually take a risk, because I don't want you to let fear and uncertainty stop you from living your life — so let me do some of the worrying on your behalf. I have more experience with these matters, so just trust me."
I swallowed hard, moved by the love and protectiveness in her voice. I nodded, even though she couldn't see it. "Of course I trust you," I replied softly. "I know better than not to. If it helps you feel better, go ahead and investigate, but I'm serious about this not turning into anything more. I told you his reasons — he's not going to change his mind."
She laughed knowingly. "What did I just say? I know you. And I know he won't be able to resist you. Mark my words — he's not going to stand a chance."
I refused to let myself feel hopeful at her words, so I quickly changed the subject. We stayed on the phone for the next two hours, multitasking as we spoke. I changed into some sweats and a long-sleeved shirt, opting for a French braid to keep my hair out of my face. I tried to divide my attention between some homework and listening to Bailey's entertaining ramblings, but it quickly became evident that I wasn't getting any work done. I giggled as she told me the story of how her professor accidentally sent her whole class his nudes by email. And Bailey being Bailey, criticized his choice of lighting, positioning, and angling.
I didn't want to say goodbye to her, but she had some things to get done, and I was tired. She made exaggerated kissing noises before hanging up, leaving me with a permanent smile on my face. Between my chat with Bailey and last night with Tristan, I was in a great mood. It felt like nothing could ruin it.
That was until I received a notification from Instagram. I frowned because I barely used the app. Curious, I tapped on the notification bubble, and it took me to several new messages from a blank account.
?: He doesn't belong to you, slutty bitch. He's going to leave you as soon as he realizes how worthless you are.
?: Go die, whore.
?: You should just kill yourself.
?: Maybe I'll do it myself, rid the world of another ugly bitch.
Both of my eyebrows shot up as I read the messages. After a quick investigation of the account, it was obvious it was a throwaway.
I figured this was about Tristan. One of his overzealous groupies, no doubt. They must have seen the pictures of us. I was tempted to respond, to say something that might shut them down, but what would that really do? Instead, I blocked and deleted the messages, sitting back in my chair with furrowed brows.
It bothered me, even though I tried to brush it off. Just some jealous person hiding behind the safety of anonymity, I told myself. No need to take it seriously.
Putting my phone on my bedside, I lay back down, intent on taking a long nap and forgetting about the weird messages.
°•°•°•°
As we ate dinner on Tristan's couch later that evening, I filled him in on some parts of my day, recounting Bailey's story about her professor. He had his own plate loaded with clean carbs and protein to keep his energy and muscle mass up, while I kept it simple with a creamy chicken pasta.
"She sounds like quite the character," he remarked with a smile, putting his empty plate on the table and stretching out on the couch, his legs crossed and his hands resting on his stomach. "Am I going to have to fight her for your favor?"
"Don't bother — she already has you beat," I said, leaning in to give him a quick kiss on the cheek before getting up to grab our plates and take them to the kitchen. He cooked, so it was only right that I cleaned.
His gaze followed me as I moved to the sink. "Is that a challenge? Because you know I can't resist a challenge."
I grinned, turning on the faucet to wash the dishes. "Nope, just stating the facts. Haven't you heard the saying, 'Hoes before bros'?"
He chuckled, then stood and made his way over to me. Wrapping his arms around my waist from behind, he pulled me against his chest, resting his chin on top of my head. "Is that how the saying goes? I must have heard it wrong in the past," he murmured, his voice warm with amusement.
We just stayed like that for a while, holding onto each other and just enjoying the feel of one another. Like this, I could feel his strong, steady heartbeat and every deep breath he took. I couldn't help but imagine that one day, a baby would find comfort sleeping on this very chest, lulled to sleep by the soothing, deep timbres of his beautiful voice and the steady beat of his heart.
But then, the quiet started to feed my thoughts. Silence had a way of doing that. I knew we were both thinking the same thing: this didn't feel like a simple friends with benefits arrangement. It had only been a day, but it already felt so easy, so natural to be with him like this. And that was dangerous. I worried that he was going to pull away, trying to establish some much-needed distance to protect us from getting too deeply involved.
But he didn't.
"Are you coming to our home game on Thursday?" His voice pulled me from my thoughts.
My eyebrows knitted together as I answered, "I wasn't planning on it. Why?"
"I could score you free tickets, and you could bring your brother," he suggested casually.
"Seriously?" I blinked, surprised at his generosity.
He nodded and I felt the movement against my head. "And as a bonus, I'll send over the good stadium food. The kind they save for the high-paying and celebrity guests."
The food was already amazing, and he'd promised to send me even more delicious food? Oh yeah, I was in.
"There's going to be celebrities watching you play?" That was a big deal, right?
"Sometimes." He shrugged. "Mostly pros in the sports industry. But yeah, we get a few famous faces now and then, especially during the televised matches. There'll also be scouts and coaches from all over the country making an appearance."
Definitely a big deal then. Drying my hands with a dish towel, I spun in his arms and wrapped my arms around his waist, looking up at him. "I guess I have no choice but to go now. It's only right that I support you as your current favorite friend."
Tristan laughed at my self-sacrificing sigh, squeezing me as he kissed my forehead. "Thank you. Your support is noted and very much appreciated."
"But I'm not going to hold up any signs or wear any of those ridiculous hats, okay."
"You're not going to hold up a sign asking me to let you suck my dick? Now I'm just disappointed." The playful smile told me otherwise.
"They really do that?" I scoffed. "I shouldn't be surprised. Your fans can be intense. I got my first hate message from one of them this morning."
Tristan's expression turned serious, his brow furrowing. "What? What hate message?"
Seeing the concern in his eyes, I hurried to reassure him, "Don't worry. It's just some jealous girl on the internet. A simple message isn't enough to freak me out, I promise."
"Let me see it," he demanded, his jaw tightening.
I raised an eyebrow, not liking his tone. "I've already deleted it. It's in the past now." I pulled away and started toward the living room, but he stopped me with a firm grip on my wrist.
"What did it say?" He tightened his hold, forcing me to face him.
I glared at him and the offending hand. "It's gone, Tristan. I can't remember what it said. Will you let go, please? You're overreacting."
"I'm not, Hannah. Have you forgotten how I've dealt with these kinds of things in the past?"
The pang of guilt cleared all of my anger, and I stopped resisting. I thought about the other things the messages had said and asked, "Do you think it could be the same person?"
His face hardened as he released my hand. "No, it's not the same person — but that doesn't mean there's no danger. I don't want you getting hurt because of me."
I softened, feeling only sympathy as I regarded the cold expression on his face. "You're right. I'm sorry I got angry, but will you please believe me when I say that it really was nothing? Just some things about how you'll get bored of me and leave."
"That's it? You're sure?" He pressed on, looking deep into my eyes.
I swallowed, nodding. "Yes, I'm sure."
"Okay." He relaxed, letting out a deep breath. "I'm sorry I reacted like that. I just want you to be safe."
I gave him a small smile and rose onto my tiptoes to kiss him. "It's okay. Thank you for caring about my well-being."
I hated lying to him, but I didn't want him worrying over me. It could distract him from what was actually important. Besides, I was confident the message was just a petty threat meant to scare me away from him. There was no way anyone would actually do something to hurt me. No one was that psychotic.