Hate to Love You - Chapter 68: Chapter 68

As per usual, I woke up alone.
It was the price I paid for choosing a morning person. And now, I found myself in the company of not one, but two early risers, both awake well before it should have even been considered legal.
Every morning, Cassie climbed into bed with us for some snuggles under the blankets — but inevitably, Tristan and her would start whispering to each other. Aware of my need for more sleep, he'd whisk her away to start their morning routine. While Cassie usually did her homework or drew, Tristan busied himself with some work, helping her whenever she needed it. I usually came down around eight and we would all have breakfast together.
Groaning, I reached for my phone on the bedside table, my hand blindly searching until I found it. Blinking away the remnants of sleep, I squinted at the harsh glow of the screen until the time came into focus — nearly half past eight. I was a little late this morning.
There was one message from Bailey so I opened it.
B: I'm ordering another girl. I have too much wisdom to impart, and it would be wasted on a boy.
With another groan, I returned my phone to its resting place and face-planted back into the huge, fluffy pillow.
I stayed up late last night, putting the finishing touches on the culmination of years of painstaking research my team and I had poured our hearts and souls into. Our exploration into the effects of various hydrogel compositions on cell viability, proliferation, and differentiation was no small feat. It had taken us years, and now, all our findings had finally been encapsulated within the pages of a single document — so it had to be perfect. I was confident things would go well at the BMES conference.
Dressed in loose pajama shorts and a small matching cami, I reluctantly relinquished the warmth of the bed and sat up with a yawn and stretch. Our bed was a behemoth of a thing because Tristan insisted on getting a custom-made bed to fit his size — but that also meant it was hard ever to want to leave it.
As I stood up, my feet sank into the plush expanse of the carpet surrounding the bed and I ambled toward the drawn curtains, shrouding the floor-to-ceiling glass windows. With a firm tug, I pulled the curtains open, and warm sunlight flooded the room. Blinking against the sudden brightness, I was immediately met with the beautiful view of the valley below, a panoramic sight that Tristan had painstakingly chosen when he first considered buying the land. Towering Douglas firs, spruces, and pines covered the valley floor, while our position at the peak gave us an unrivaled view of the landscape.
Despite the forests stretching out as far as the eye could see, we were only a twenty minute drive from Denver. Initially, Tristan and I spent a couple of years traveling between Colorado and Nevada while I completed my degree. And then, while I was getting my Ph.D, Tristan's contract with Nevada came to an end, so he signed with our home team and we moved to the city.
However, when we found out I was pregnant with Cassie, Tristan brought this land and built a house on top of it. He also took it upon himself to take care of the surroundings and stopped all further development and deforestation. Now, apart from the winding road up to our home, everything around us was pure, untouched nature.
Heading straight for the bathroom to freshen up, I went to my sink and quickly washed my face. Leaning against the quartz countertop, I brushed my teeth, staring blankly as my mind slowly woke up.
Eventually, my gaze drifted to the large framed windows that offered a serene view of the forest just a few feet away and I watched two Pine Grosbeaks flutter in playful circles around each other. In front of the window was a large black double-ended tub that fit both Tristan and I. When Cassie was a baby, she loved using it as a small pool, playing with all of her toys in the water. The memory made me smile.
Spitting out and rinsing, I dried my mouth with a towel and took a deep breath. I was now ready to be a normal, functioning human. And today was a day to be excited for.
Cassie would be spending the day with Tristan's parents, even staying the night — which gave Tristan and I plenty of alone time. And with the research report finally done, it was time to fulfill my promise.
Tristan's parents were amazing. Now that they were officially retired, and Cassie was the only grandchild they saw often, they liked taking her out for whole-day outings — like to the water or amusement park.
Once, Violet took her to the ballet and Cassie still hasn't stopped talking about it. But when we offered to sign her up for classes, she said she just liked looking at it — she didn't want to take time away from the animal shelter she visited several times a week. They currently had all kinds of baby animals, but her favorites were the bunnies, ferrets, and otters. She was enamored, to say the very least.
Leaving our room, I headed down the stairs and made my way to the kitchen. As I got closer, I could hear two voices, followed by the sweetest little laugh and a deeper one. The sound made my steps quicken, my slippered feet padding across the marbled floors until they came into sight.
Cassie was sitting on the kitchen island, clutching a bag of frozen grapes, while her dad prepared his morning smoothie next to her, wearing nothing but a pair of sweatpants. Every movement he made sent visible ripples through his chest and abs. Despite having been in the NFL for some time, and playing for two different teams, he was in the best shape of his life. No one took better care of his body than Tristan did and it showed.
Cassie, of course, was wearing her unicorn onesie — her version of a hoodie. If she could live in it, she would. Tristan liked to say she was my mini-me, but I disagreed. She looked like a Beckett through and through — with thick, dark hair and long, fanned lashes. She was also extremely outgoing and always the center of attention — just like him. The media loved the two of them during interviews and post-game conferences. They were a famous online duo at this point, and both of them reveled in it.
Laying like a lifeless lump of fluff on the floor, was our Leonberger — Cheese. His full name was actually Grilled Cheese because he stole Cassie's grilled cheese when he was a puppy, but it had now been shortened to Cheese. That's what you get when you let your kid and husband, who thought it was hilarious, name the dog.
Cassie scrunched her nose at the spinach Tristan added to the food processor. "I don't know why you'd choose leaves over grapes. Seems silly to me." She popped one in her mouth, crunching down on it for emphasis as she eyed the green leaves with disgust.
Okay, so maybe she was a little like me.
"Spinach is good for your bones, but you do make a good point — grapes taste better. Throw me another one."
Without another word, Cassie pulled her arm back and launched a grape straight into Tristan's mouth, waiting for him to chew and swallow before saying, "Are grapes also good for your bones? Will they make me grow as big as you?"
Tristan laughed, reaching up to gently tug at one of the curls that framed her face. "Sure, Cas. They also have Vitamin K, so they're very good for you and your bones."
Stepping into the kitchen, I caught Cheese's attention first. He lifted his massive head to greet me, tail thumping against the floor before he flopped his head back on the ground with a tired sigh and closed his eyes. I couldn't blame him — those two were high-energy and I had no doubt he was exhausted from trying to keep up with them all morning. No doubt Tristan and Cassie had already taken him out to throw his ball.
"Mommy! You're finally awake!" Cassie exclaimed, her face lighting up as soon as she noticed my arrival.
Unable to help myself, I went straight to her, pulling her small, warm body against mine and kissing the top of her head. "Did you sleep well?" I asked, smoothing a hand over her unbrushed, wild locks.
"I had a very nice dream," she said before holding up her grapes. "Want any grapes? Daddy says they're good for your bones."
I smiled at her sweetness and shook my head. "That's okay, baby. I know Teacher Helen said sharing is good, and that's true — but sometimes it's okay not to either. We got them for you and they're all yours to do whatever you want with."
"I don't have to share?" She looked confused at this. "But what if I get a baby sister or baby brother? Wouldn't I have to share with them?"
Both Tristan and I froze at this, meeting each other's gazes over her head. He grinned, maintaining eye contact over the rim of the cup of green liquid as he drank. His green eyes were filled with anticipated mischief.
My heart literally skipped a beat — so I looked back down at my daughter, swallowing. "We would never make you share anything you didn't want to. When you let people use your things, it has to be because you want them to. And maybe you don't want to share certain things because they're special to you, and that's also okay."
She contemplated my words for a little moment. "But I would have to share you and Daddy, right?"
Oh my god. We were really having this conversation right now — before I'd even had my morning coffee.
As it was, Cassie was already an oopsie-baby, one we discovered on the night of my dissertation while out at a celebratory dinner. Everyone had been there — our friends, some close teammates, Jace, Tristan's parents... everyone.
Which meant everyone got to witness me throw up into Bailey's handbag when the waiters brought over the huge platters with different kinds of foods. All the smells had overwhelmed my senses, spiking my nausea and I had no time to run to the bathroom. Luckily, Bailey had seen my face and reacted quickly, even if it meant I ruined her designer bag. Needless to say, no one was surprised when we announced I was pregnant soon after.
Of course, we were really happy about her, and by then, I was already Mrs. Beckett, but she did come at a pivotal moment in my life. Somehow, I managed to juggle it all, taking things one step at a time — my career, being a mother, and being a wife. Luckily, I had an amazing partner to help me through it all, and he turned out to be an even better dad than I could have ever imagined. From the moment we found out about her, she became his world — our world.
We'd agreed that another child wasn't a good idea, not when we wanted to give all our free time to Cassie and be there for her like she needed. We simply haven't had the time or energy for another baby. Until now, that is.
Cassie had plenty of friends already, including Jenny's little girl, Leonie — her best friend. And when Tate brought over the two little boys he'd had with a Brazilian supermodel named Ana — Cassie, Tony, and Lucas were quick to disappear into the back garden, either climbing trees or swimming in the pool.
Tate joined our home state team straight out of college and had played for them ever since, so when Tristan finally joined, the two of them were back to being a close, iconic duo.
I looked back up at Tristan as I answered our daughter. "In a way, yes, but that just means our family would grow by one. Would that be okay with you?"
She considered it some more. "Do you want to know what I dreamed about, Mommy?" She didn't wait for my reply. "I had a dream that I was riding Glow," Her favorite unicorn stuffed toy, "And she was taking me home after we played the whole day with all the other animals in the forest. I could hear you and Daddy calling me, but there was also someone else calling me. I couldn't see who it was because I woke up, but they called me sister."
Kids really were fascinating. She was either really insightful... or this was her dropping one big fat hint that she wanted a sibling.
"I like sharing, Mommy." She looked up at me with big blue, pleading eyes and I laughed. Definitely the latter.
Ducking down to smother her face in kisses, she giggled and wiggled in my arms, trying to escape. Pressing one final kiss to the top of her head, I pulled back to say, "Why don't you go get dressed before your grandparents get here? You can't leave in your onesie."
I helped her off the counter and she turned to the dog, "Let's go, Cheese! Race you to my room!" And then she was off, quick as lightning while Cheese heaved himself off the floor and ran to catch up with her.
Just as quickly, an arm snaked around my waist and pulled me against a firm, warm chest. Smiling, my arms wound themselves around his waist and I looked up at him. "Good morning, salad breath."
His hand left my waist to squeeze my ass. "Right back at you, Mrs Beckett. Is that drool I see?"
My hand shot up to wipe it away before I remembered I'd already washed my face. He laughed and ducked down to kiss me, smothering any retort I might have had. My slips smoothed into a grin against his, and I rose onto my toes to gently suck on his lower lip before stepping back down. His eyes opened to reveal his familiar green orbs and I had to smother a laugh.
Bailey had been right when she said that one day he'd ask for another baby, and I'd look into those beautiful eyes and be unable to say no. I didn't even want to say no, knowing he'd be an amazing dad regardless.
I definitely had my fears at first. One child was challenging enough, and I was terrified of repeating my mother's mistakes. In the beginning, I second-guessed my decisions constantly, worried that I'd end up pushing my daughter away. I didn't want her to resent me, so I tried not to smother her, but it was hard when all I wanted to do was protect her from the harsh world outside of our home. The thought of losing her or seeing her in pain felt like a hole being torn through my chest — it took a lot of therapy and time before that feeling wasn't so debilitating.
It was only when I became a mother that I truly understood my own mother — and also realized how much she had let me down. It helped me accept that she wasn't going to change, and that made it easier to let go. Cassie hadn't seen her since the incident where she tried to kidnap her and get her baptized without our knowledge or permission. Tristan had to hold me back from going feral on her that day, despite being just as equally angry with her.
Jace still spoke to her, but it wasn't often. I knew she messaged and called him a lot, but even he was tired of her shit. Right now, he was playing ball for Tennessee and he had other things to worry about... like the weird thing between Bailey and him. They didn't get along for years until the day, or should I say — night of my wedding. I asked Bailey not to go into detail, but from what I gathered... something happened.
And then it was on and off for a long time because he was younger than her and she didn't want a relationship or kids. Right now they were off because she was in Peru and Jace was getting drunk with all of his friends and teammates now that football season was over, both of them ignoring each other. Which wasn't great, because if something ever happened to Tristan and I — it was up to the two of them to look after her.
It only made sense, considering they were two of her favorite people on this earth. I made Cassie promise never to say this to Megan or Caleb, but Bailey was definitely her favorite aunt, and Jace was more fun — her words, not mine.
She often grabbed one of our phones to randomly call him, and he always picked up, so I knew he was okay, but as his big sister I was still worried about him. I knew he had his fair share of trauma from our childhood, just like I knew that if you didn't deal with those issues, they consumed you.
I pressed my cheeks against my husband's chest and sighed.
"What was that?" He raised his hand to stroke my back. "Are you having reservations about another baby?"
My eyes rounded and I pulled back to shake my head. "No, no. I promise I'm not." I paused and then let out a soft laugh. Reaching up, I cupped his cheek. "I'm so ready for this. There's a reason I stayed up so late to get everything finished. I didn't want anything to cut into... you know — us."
He chuckled. "I love it when you talk dirty to me. Makes me feel all tingly inside."
I rolled my eyes and pushed away from him, but I couldn't hide the small smile teasing the corner of my lips. "You're such a goof."
"Only for you, babe. If it's any consolation, I can't wait to do all kinds of dirty things to you as soon as it's just the two of us." His gaze promised nothing but the best kind of torture.
My stomach fluttered because I knew he'd have my clothes off as soon we were alone, and then it would just be a marathon of sex — just like I knew he was going to wring as many orgasms out of me as humanly possible. Maybe I should hope his parents come a little late, because I knew I was in for no rest.
Taking a deep breath to calm the excitement rushing through me, I cleared my throat and walked over to the fridge. "What should we have for breakfast? I was thinking pancakes — simple and sure to keep Cassie happy until your parents arrive. But I know we'll need to make a lot of them — you two are bottomless pits." I glanced over at him. "Or do you have any other suggestions?"
He grinned. "Creampie?"