Heart and Soul - Chapter 33: Chapter 33

Carter directed Johnny to a diner in the city, away from their school area. The kind of place with neon lights at the door and cushioned booths inside. Carter's mom used to take him there, when he was younger. Before she got the job she had at the moment, and way before trying to get a promotion at the company she worked for started taking so much of her time.
They sat in a corner booth, at the farther end of the diner, under a ceiling lamp that looked like it was about to give out any second.
"How's the family reunion going?" Johnny asked, as they looked over the menus.
"The Santoros are living for it," Carter said. "I'm trying to stay out of the crossfire."
Johnny hummed noncomittally. Carter had a feeling there was more he wanted to say.
Instead of saying it, Johnny smiled at him over the laminated menu. "What do you suggest?" He asked playfully.
"Their cheeseburgers are incredible. That's what my mom and I used to get, when she brought me here."
Johnny nodded, putting the menu down on the table. "Then I know what to get."
Carter laid his menu over Johnny's. For some reason, he felt a little nervous. Being with Johnny never made him feel nervous. Awkward and struggling to find words of suitable interest, but never nervous. Somehow, deciding they were on a date changed that. He now felt he had something to achieve, something to hold up to.
Whenever he took girls on dates, they expected him to woo them. Be the dreamy quarterback they'd made him up to be. Mel was probably the exception, which might have been what drew him to her.
A waitress came to pick up their orders and left them alone again. Carter couldn't find anything to say, so Johnny talked.
"Why don't you take the opportunity, now they're all home, to get to know your step-siblings a little more?"
Carter shrugged. "I don't know." He truly didn't. Or maybe he had an idea. "I guess... It's a little intimidating. There's so many of them. And they've literally known each other their whole lives. I'm not their brother. I'm just the guy who moved in."
"Except you're not," Johnny reasoned quietly. "Your mom married their dad. You're both part of the family, and they're part of yours. A stepbrother is a brother. And the Santoros are probably the most openly affectionate people ever. If you reach out, I'm sure they'll let you right in."
"I guess," Carter admitted reluctantly. "I think they've tried to reach out too, a number of times. Except Bella. But it feels weird."
"Does it?"
Carter pressed his lips together. In truth, it didn't feel that weird. The Santoros never made it weird. Even Bella—hostile, uninviting, malicious even, but never weird. They were a friendly family. And they were friendly towards Carter. But that didn't really made him a part of the family.
"You have a brother and a sister," Carter pointed out. "You should know that just being comfortable around someone doesn't make them family. There's seven Santoros, they don't need another brother."
Johnny snorted. "Do you think I need my siblings? They're a pain in the ass. Family isn't something ordered on necessity, it happens to you. You and the Santoros happened to each other."
Carter played with the handle of the condiment holder between them. He understood what Johnny meant, but at the same time he didn't think Johnny understood him completely. He had grown up with two loving parents, Kevin and Lydia. Carter had his mom, so far as he could remember.
And Seth, he added in his own head as an afterthought. Seth and Carter had always worked as a mutual safety net between themselves.
The waitress brought along their orders and Carter thanked her with a polite smile. He watched Johnny pick up his burger with both hands and take a bite.
"This is good," he hummed, mid-swallow.
Carter grinned. "Told you."
"Should you be eating this though?"
Carter's eyebrows drew in inquisitively. Johnny smiled teasingly.
"Not sure how well greasy burgers go with that 'jock physique' you're trying to keep."
Carter rolled his eyes. "I'm not trying to keep a 'jock physique'," he mumbled.
Johnny shrugged, swallowing before he said, "You should. Looks good on you."
Carter bit back a flustered smile, watching Johnny's eyes glimmer with the effect of his words. Carter cleared his throat.
"On other topics," he muttered. "Why Michigan?"
"Good Engineering school. Good Aerospace Engineering program," Johnny answered on the spot.
"There's lots of good Engineering schools," Carter argued. "You're not considering any alternatives?"
Johnny shrugged. "CalTech maybe. But I'm not a fan of the heat," he said. "Same argument applies to Stanford. MIT would be cool if I could get in right away."
"What about Georgia?"
Johnny promptly shook his head. "Too close to home."
That surprised Carter. "You wouldn't like to stay home?"
Johnny snorted. "I'd like to get as far away from home as possible." He assessed Carter's curious look, before elaborating, "Full college experience and all that. Fresh start."
Carter nodded his head in understanding, and he really did think he understood.
"Plus, my parents met in Michigan," Johnny added. "Thought it would be cool to go there too."
Carter frowned. "I thought Coach grew up in Florida."
"He did, but he left to play football for Michigan," Johnny said. "Then he had the knee injury. So he proposed, came back home, got a teaching degree."
"Where's your mom from?"
Johnny smiled. "Pensacola," he said. "My parents left to return."
"Is that your plan?" Carter asked, interested. "Michigan, MIT, then home again?"
"If I got an internship at NASA," Johnny mused. "It's too far off to plan that, though."
"Says the guy who's already got his whole future figured out."
"Not my whole future," Johnny countered. "Just until post-grad."
Carter laughed. "I still don't know if I even want to keep playing football," he said. "I'll probably have to, for a scholarship. But I don't even know if I want to make an alternative plan. For after. If I don't want to go to NFL. Or if I can't make it."
Johnny looked at him for a while, pensively.
"You say you don't know...but I think you do."
"What does that mean?"
"I want to go to Michigan," Johnny delivered naturally. "I want to study Aerospace Engineering. NASA is my ultimate goal. I know this. I think, if you wanted to play football, you'd know too," he told Carter. "If you're having doubts, maybe that means you don't want it."
Carter supposed that made sense. He'd thought about it himself before. That alone did not make anything clear in his head, though.
"Problem is I still don't know what I do want," he said.
Johnny shrugged again. "Do you want to go to college?"
"Yes."
Johnny threw is hands up like that settled it. "Then you do know," he said. "You need football to get in, but you can decide what to study after that. You still have time to think where you want to apply. And you don't even have to know what you want to study. Lots of people only decide after a year or two in college anyway."
"But where do I want to go?"
Johnny smiled. "I can't tell you that, can I?"
Carter sighed. "I don't even know if I want to stay home or go out of state. Staying in the state would be cheaper..." he thought aloud. "I always kinda thought I'd end up going where Seth went, but lately I'm not even sure if he wants to go anywhere. Mel's all full of plans like you. Even Jenna knows she'll probably go to Louisville and Joey's got his eye on UCF."
"Stop thinking about other people," Johnny said simply. Carter was a little taken aback, even though Johnny's tone was soft. "Your future is your choice. You can't make it thinking about others. Think about yourself."
"I think that's my problem," Carter murmured. "I can't, because I don't know what I want."
Johnny exhaled softly. The way he looked at Carter made him feel as though Johnny already knew that. Carter hated the gut-wrenching feeling he got from that look and all that it implied. This wasn't the sort of environment he had in mind. Without thinking about it, he reached over the table to touch his hand to Johnny's.
"There are some things I'm starting to realize though," he spoke gently.
Johnny looked at him. "Is that so?"
"Yeah." Carter gulped. "For example, I know I don't want to waste tonight talking about the future, instead of enjoying what's right in front of me."
Johnny's lips twitched a little, fighting a smile. "You don't say."
Carter smiled softly. "It's not fancy, like I said, but—"
"It's perfect," Johnny cut him off. He looked down at Carter's hand over his. His own skin was blazing beneath the contact. Biting down on a smile, he lifted his gaze to meet Carter's brilliant grey eyes. "Is this what you do on dates then?" He asked, injecting a sliver of humor into his voice to muffle the wave of warmth that assaulted his chest.
"What?"
Johnny shrugged. "Personally, I have never been on a date. But you, sir, have a bit of a reputation," he teased. He leaned forward over the table. "Is this how it works? You start by sweeping me off my feet and then we end the night groping each other over our clothes in the car?"
Carter laughed. "I don't know." He shrugged back. "Do you feel like you've been swept off your feet?"
Johnny bit back a grin. "Getting there."
And sure enough, less than an hour later, after they split the check, Johnny and Carter did find themselves in Johnny's car, chests heaving hotly and lips connecting with fervent urgency. Johnny's hands roamed down the ridges of Carter's shoulders to the the hills of his chest and past the taunt relief in his stomach beneath his t-shirt.
They were parked in the deserted parking lot behind the diner. There were no other cars in proximity and not a single soul wandered nearby.
Carter shifted in the passenger seat, leaning towards Johnny. He supported an arm around the headrest of the driver's seat while his other hand rested on Johnny's leg. Johnny gripped the front of his t-shirt.
"Can this come off?" He breathed.
Carter pulled away just an inch, biting down on a grin. "What happened to groping each other over our clothes?" He joked.
Johnny scrapped his teeth over his glistening bottom lip with an eager, hungry look in his eyes and Carter's stomach twisted around itself excitedly. He gripped the top of his t-shirt collar from the back and pulled it over his head, discarding it to parts unknown.
Johnny licked his lips, looking down at Carter's torso. In turn, Carter's eyes stayed on Johnny's face, watching desire play out unabashedly. It made his cheeks heat up under the scrutiny, but something in his chest skipped with exultation.
Johnny leaned forward and Carter met him half-way, putting both his hands on Johnny's face to kiss him, softly but intently. Johnny's hand flattened against Carter's chest, feeling the erratic pulse beneath. It made him wonder what other signs of excitement Carter's body could show him.
Taking control of the kiss, Johnny tugged on Carter's bottom lip with his teeth, eliciting a quiet moan from the other boy. His hand wandered south, past the edge of Carter's jeans and between his legs, over the thick denim. Carter gasped helplessly.
"Someone's excited," Johnny mused delightedly.
Carter breathed out a sigh, resting his forehead on Johnny's shoulder. Johnny's free hand laid on Carter's shoulder blade, feeling the hard muscles beneath hot skin.
One of Carter's hand found its way back onto Johnny's leg and Carter's mouth found his neck. Johnny let his eyes flutter close, enjoying the feeling of warm open lips on the sensitive skin above his collarbone. Carter trailed up to his ear and a shudder shook down Johnny's spine. A powerless moan escaped his lips when Carter's hand ventured down to his inner thigh and up, tentatively, toward his groin.
Carter pulled back, smiling contently. "So it's not just me," he husked.
And Jesus. That tone, with those eyes, and that fucking smile...all while his hand was down between Johnny's legs unapologetically and Johnny was still flustered from the effect of Carter's skillful lips... It was almost too much. But only just right too.
Carter was intoxicating and Johnny loved it.
Deciding he needed to get more of this, as much as Carter allowed him, Johnny connected their lips again before trailing down his jaw and past his neck. He mouthed at Carter's collarbone and then down to his chest, enjoying the little hitch in the other boy's breath.
It wasn't enough.
He curled one hand around Carter's hip, feeling the taunt muscle beneath. Slowly, he kissed his way down Carter's chest and sucked the flesh just bellow his right pectoral muscle between his teeth.
"Jesus," Carter whispered breathlessly.
Johnny lifted his head to level their eyes, just as his hand floated to the button of Carter's jeans.
"I want to try something new," Johnny told him quietly.
Carter gulped, with a receptive look in his eye. Johnny licked his lips suggestively and watched with anticipation as understanding sunk in.
"Yeah?" Carter whispered almost soundlessly.
Johnny nodded. "If you want."
"Do you?"
Johnny bit back a smile, leaning forward to lock their lips in a quick kiss. "I do," he spoke against Carter's lips. "But only if you're comfortable," he added, pulling back to give Carter some space. "What we've done so far is fine by me too."
Carter pursed his lips and Johnny assessed his expression carefully. He could swear he saw the lust in Carter's eye. The excitement, the want, the willingness. Johnny wanted Carter to give into that and allow Johnny to show him how good this could be if Carter just surrendered to the feelings Johnny so desperately wanted to believe the other boy also had.
He still needed verbal confirmation, though.
He didn't get it at first. Carter simply nodded and Johnny dropped a kiss on his shoulder. "I need you to tell me," he whispered in Carter's ear.
"Yes," Carter breathed almost immediately.
Johnny smiled, taking a moment to enjoy Carter's state. He was shirtless, jeans half opened, parted swollen lips, eyes hazy and looking downright irresistible. Yet Johnny still felt like he needed more.
"Yes what?"
The look Carter gave him was laced with despair. A kind of hopeless, bashful desperation of someone who needed something he didn't know how to ask for.
Johnny decided to give him a break and latched his mouth to his torso again, while his hand worked on his fly. Carter's chest heaved as Johnny reached into his underwear fluidly. He was warm and firm to the the touch. Johnny licked a trail from Carter's stomach to the middle of his chest.
The needy gasps escaping past Carter's lips were too hard to resist though, and it wasn't long before Johnny's mouth went where his hand had been.
Johnny wanted Carter to feel good, but that desperation he'd seen in the other boy's eyes had been too tempting not to explore. He would make Carter feel good, but first he needed to ride on that powerless want. He took his time, letting Carter's unfiltered vocal responses guide him through it.
When he looked up through his eyelashes to asses the visible effects of his efforts, Johnny saw Carter's hands gripping the headrest behind him, biceps flexed and lips parted. As much as he wanted to take his time, that vision alone was enough to make him want to see the end of this. See Carter Parrish come undone.
And, fuck, he didn't disappoint. Carter finished in waves that shook his whole body. Johnny got him through it with a helping hand, carving the sight before him into his memory for future dreams and rainy days.
The car fell silent afterwards and it took a few minutes before Johnny reached into the glove compartment for the tissues. Carter let him clean the mess on his stomach, body limp and spent. While Johnny discarded the used tissue, Carter found his t-shirt and slipped it on silently.
It all marked the end of the moment.
Without a word, Johnny exhaled a heavy breath and roared the ignition to life at first try.
When they reached the Santoro house, he stopped the car but kept his eyes on the road. He could feel Carter's eyes on him, but didn't look until he felt a warm hand on his knee. He jerked his head to meet Carter's gaze, taken by surprise.
Carter bit his lip, seeming nervous. "I had a really good time," he muttered.
Johnny smiled, despite himself. "Yeah. Me too."
Carter's grin melted Johnny's heart. "Text you later?"
Johnny nodded wordlessly, without even caring about the stupid whipped smile on his face. He watched Carter leave his car and walk up to the front door. Even after he was gone, Johnny stayed put. His head was a whirlwind of conflicting thoughts. Smart and longing, realistic and wishful.
He caught sight of the blinking light on his phone—he knew Lydia had been texting him all night—and picked it up.
He rolled his eyes through a smile, before typing a reply.
But barely.