Homecoming (Lesbian) - Chapter 3: Chapter 3

I met with her at Mexicana a little after one thirty. I was nervous long before arriving. My hands were sweating, my jaw was trembling. There was this part of me that regretted calling her. But seeing her there, standing by the entrance, with that pretty smile and her hands on her pockets. Strangely, it made me feel better, at ease with it, as if I had made the right choice all along.
I don't remember what I wore, but I do remember what she wore for reasons I'll explain later. She had a black t-shirt with a dreamcatcher, blue jeans and black leather heels. She also wore a black coat for the cold, although it was a sunny day. I shoved my hands in my jacket's pockets and came closer.
"Hey," she said with a welcoming smile and kissed my cheek.
"Hey. Can we go in? I'm starving."
Mexicana was a beautiful but small restaurant, cozy and friendly, filled with flavor. The kind of family business is handed down from generation to generation, and the owners already had their seventeen year old son in the kitchen, and their sixteen year old daughter working the tables. She handed us the menus.
"So..." Rosie began.
"So..."
She laid eyes on me like she was expecting me to start the conversation, and when I didn't, instead of saying something herself, she would just smile.
"Uhm, so you've come here before?" I finally asked.
"Yeah, a couple of times. Mostly with my family."
"Huh. Interesting" Interesting? God, if I could throw a shoe at myself I would.
"Riley... you really need to relax, okay? We're just having something to eat and talking. I'm not gonna bite you, I promise."
I sighed. Yes, it was silly. We talked at the party, why was I so nervous? "Sorry. You're right."
"You know what you wanna order?"
"I want some tacos. I love tacos."
"Me, too."
Rosie raised her hand to call the waitress. I ordered beef tacos, she ordered fish tacos, and to get things going, a plate of nachos with guacamole. At the beginning, the conversation felt forced, maybe because I was so nervous. But as we kept on chatting and as I shared with her I felt the same I had back at the party. I felt connected, like I could tell her many things I wouldn't, in a million years, tell someone I had only met twice.
"Nah, she wasn't that bad," she said referring to her ex.
She didn't start talking about her ex randomly. I asked her. I wanted to know. Before replying I dipped a nacho in guacamole and ate it "She stole your Facebook password and changed your profile pic for the picture of a pig."
"Well, yeah, okay, that was mean but... also kind of funny."
"You really don't get angry about anything, do you?"
"Nah. I don't like being angry. It's a waste of time and energy."
She grabbed a bunch of nachos and tried to eat them all at the same time, which of course she couldn't and ended in pieces of nacho falling all over the table. I wanted to say something funny, but I started laughing before I could. So did she.
The waitress came back with our tacos and as we ate, there was something I had to know.
"What about your parents?"
"What about them?"
"I mean... how did they take it, you know, that you were gay?"
She didn't put into words what she was thinking but I'm sure it was something like 'Why do you want to know?' And at the time, I didn't admit it. I wanted to know because I wanted to put myself in the hypothetical situation of my parents reacting to something like that. Eventually, I had to tell them, but that story comes later.
"My dad was fine with it, but my mom went nuts. She said she had to take me to a psychologist so they could... fix me. Of course, what the psychologist said was 'There is nothing wrong with your daughter.' But she didn't like that answer, so she took me to another one, who would tell her the same.
"That was routine for about four months I guess. I would change shrinks twice a month. We were running out of psychologists until one psychologist told her 'Ma'am, no psychologist or therapist with an inch of a brain inside them will tell you that they can 'fix' your girl because there is nothing to fix. She's gay. If I try to 'fix her' like you call it, I'll be doing much more harm than good. Everything there is left for you to do as a mother, is to love her.' She couldn't say anything back so she gave up. She doesn't support it, doesn't even accept it. But she ignores it which is as good as it can get with her."
"Wow, that's rough."
Rosie shrugged "It could've been worse. Have you told your parents?"
"Tell 'em what?" I knew what she was talking about, but because of my reaction, she decided against it and deviated the conversation to music.
I wasn't ready, I wasn't even sure. Had it not being for Rosie, maybe I would've never accepted my sexual orientation.
We ate, we laughed, we ordered caramel quesadilla with ice cream for dessert and I could have or could not have thrown some ice scream at her nose. I remain innocent until proven guilty, your honor. I hadn't had such an amazing time in a while, so I told her I wanted to see her again; watch a movie, go bowling, something like that. She grinned and promised she would come back next weekend. She dropped me at my house and I saw Faye sitting on the porch. I walked up to her slowly. She seemed to be repeating something under her breath.
"Faye?"
She looked up, those beautiful, big green eyes looking back at me, with that innocence, that glow. I still remember.
"Hey! Where have you been? Been waiting for you," she said.
I sat next to her "Out. Why didn't you wait inside?"
"No one's home and I couldn't wait to show you. I finished it."
"You finished... what?"
She pulled out a blue hand-sewn scarf from her Sex Pistols bag. "I know I promised you I would have it for your birthday and that was three months ago. But I didn't get the knots the way I wanted so I had to redo it again over and over until... here. Happy Birthday."
The scarf was simple, yet beautifully stitched. And it was my favorite color. She did say something about my birthday and something she was making for me but I just assumed it was to cover up the fact that she had forgotten.
"You made this for me?" I said, impressed with the scarf and about to cry because of the gesture.
She looked at me stunned as if it was so obvious the question itself was almost offensive "Of course I made it for you, I even had a speech about how much you mean to me but... it's kind of silly. Come on, try it on." She helped me put the scarf around my neck and then smile. "See? Beautiful. Now, back to business. Was that Rosie Carroll's car?"
"Faye..." I trailed off.
"Does that mean you have a girlfriend?" She asked as a joke tilting her head.
"You keep bothering me and I'll take the scarf off."
She laughed "Oh, come on. It took me six months to put that scarf together."
I punched her in the arm and she punched me back. We stood up and went inside to make ourselves some hot cocoa.
A week after that, Rosie couldn't come to town. She had something to do on Sunday, a project she was working on with some classmates and they agreed on meeting on Sunday. But she asked me if I could, by any chance, grab a bus and go to Portland on Saturday. She'd be waiting for me at the station, we could go see a movie, maybe go to the Washington Park or the zoo. And if I was lucky enough, I would get to see her apartment. Or at least the apartment she shared with three other people. I said yes.
On Thursday, at school, while we were on break and Scott told a stupid joke we all laughed at, Faye came to me and laid her head on my lap. I brushed her hair and smiled.
"Oh, kiss already!" Louise bantered.
Faye raised her and stuck her tongue out, then went back to her original position. Louise would always say something like that. It wasn't unusual. She kept on saying how Faye and I would end up together and have a bunch of annoying, hyperactive, little brats. No one ever took her seriously on that except herself. Every chance she got to say to me 'You guys are so getting together', she would, and I would ignore it.
Faye, with her head on my lap and her eyes on me asked: "Wanna go bowling this weekend?"
"Look! They even make dates without to spend some time alone That is so cute."
"Oh, shut up, Louise." I turned to Faye. I have to tell her "Actually, I already have plans this weekend."
Faye's face lost its innate glare, that beautiful perkiness she always has. It became dark, sad. But Louise jumped in to lighten things up "Oh, and the plot thickens."
"Louise!" Faye yelled. Then stared at me "What plans?"
"I'm going to Portland... with Rosie."
"Oh... alright." I saw her lips twist into this fake smile that made me feel guilty "Great. Hope you have a great time. So, guys. What are we doing then?"
"Oh, no, no, no." Mike said "You don't get to ask Riley to go bowling while completely ignoring us and then ask us what we're doing on Saturday 'cause Riley's busy. We are not consolation prices."
Faye stood up and went to hug Mike "Oh, come on, Mikey. Don't be so hard on me. I love you..."
Mike shook his head with disapproval, but about to laugh.
So that was it. I went to Portland on Saturday and the guys stayed to play Arcade games and drink Coke with Mentos. Yes, on purpose.
I grabbed the bus at nine AM, so I guessed I would be there by twelve and that's what I told Rosie when she started calling every five minutes to make sure I was okay. Somehow, she felt guilty for making me go to Portland. But me? I was excited, I had gone to Portland many times but with my family and they didn't really do anything funny. It was just my dad's business. He's contractor. Sometimes, Portland had the best projects for him. But this time, I was going with Rosie and we had big plans.
As I got down the bus and walked out of the station, I saw her, waiting for me, standing there with that warm smile and her hand in her pockets. I hugged her and we got on her car.
"Where to first?"
"Well, first, we're going to the Zoo, then, the Washington Park, then, we can grab a bite, and then... uh, wanna go see where I live?"
"Yeah, sounds great."
"Then let's go!"
She stepped on the accelerator and we were off to the Zoo. When we arrived, the Oregon Zoo was filled, we could barely walk amongst the people, which meant Rosie had to take my hand to stop me from getting lost, and I didn't protest. I fell in love with some baby tigers. They looked like puffed up, yellow cats. We took a picture close to the elephants, another one with the monkeys. Rosie wouldn't let go of my hand, and I wouldn't let go of hers.
At around three, we left the Zoo and went for a walk in Washington Park.
The green trees surrounding us, the wind, the smell of fresh grass. I was in love with the place. I could only imagine how it would look in Fall. At five, we decided to go get something to eat, but then, Rosie changed her mind. She said we could go to her place and order something. That sounded even better. I was curious about the kind of place Rosie spent her days in, so I agreed.
I was a three bedroom apartment on a third floor. It was gigantic, but the lived there with three other people so I guess it didn't feel that big. As we walked in, I caught a smell of cigarettes and popcorn. Two of Rosie's roommates were sitting on the couch in front of the TV. They turned around and said "Hey, Rose! Wanna watch The Conjuring?"
She guy was smoking but the girl next to him, who hugged him in that very specific way girlfriends hug their partners, wasn't. She was the one with the bowl of popcorns.
"No, thanks. Guys, this is Riley."
"How's it going Riley?" the guy said.
"Hello," said the girl.
"Hi," I replied, not too comfortable.
"This are Ian and Summer. Come, my bedroom it's over here."
I said bye to them and followed Rosie. Her bedroom was a mess. She picked up the clothes off the floor, threw out the garbage and then, a bit embarrassed by the mess, she said I could sit on the bed. While Rosie left to throw out the garbage I took a look around. She had her bed to the corner, her desk to the other side and a laptop on top. Apart from that, she had posters of movies hanging from the walls. A few family pictures next to her laptop and a board she used to write things she was supposed to remember to do later. She also had a couple of books on her nightstand, and a sketch pad. Nothing out of the ordinary. Common.
Rosie walked in biting her lip, almost like she was about to say something that would bother me.
"Listen, I'm a great cook, so... why don't I make something to eat and you just chill out."
My eyes narrowed "This was your plan since the beginning, wasn't it?"
"Yeah, kind of. Like I said, I'm a good cook."
I got ready to stand up and help but she stopped me with a gesture and said it would take her twenty minutes.
I played music on her laptop while I waited. She walked in twenty minutes later with two plates of Pasta Carbonara and two glasses with Coke. We sat on her bed and ate while listening to music. She wasn't bragging, she was an amazing cook. When we'd finished, she took the plates and the empty glasses to the kitchen.
We sat back on her bed, with our back to the wall and talked about the day we'd just had. The tiger I fell in love with, the pictures, the air, the traffic, everything. But it was getting late, and I should be going home.
I was about to stand up when she grabbed me by the wrist and said "Wait. I need to tell you something." Rosie sat on the edge of the bed with me before adding "I like you, Riley. I really like you." I mumbled senselessly for about thirty seconds and couldn't say anything. In the end, it was Rosie who had to continue "And I know you like me, too."
"I don't... I... I'm not sure."
Rosie placed her hand on mine and got closer, slowly. I think she was afraid I would get scared if she moved faster. I was scared either way, but I didn't move. Our lips met and I felt her, soft, sweet, she taste like grapes. Or maybe it was the smell of her perfume. But she kissed me, and I didn't push her away.