How About I Guide Myself Right Into Your Heart? || Joongdok - Chapter 2: Chapter 2
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Dokja startled awake to movement at his side, and he was vaguely aware that the place he was sleeping in was not the usual palette of his apartment.
The pounding in his head had only slightly diminished, but the true difficulty came when trying to turn his head and see who had entered the resting space. Grunting in effort, Dokja managed to squint and make out the shape of a medical staff and a manager he recognized from Esper Yoo's team. The indistinct chatter of discussion was hard to make out in his post-sleep state, but the two seemed to notice the other stir on the bed. The medical staff cleared their throat and finished writing up something on their board, before leaving the room with a polite smile.
"Guide Kim," the manager said, "we just finished noting your vitals, I hope you don't mind the intrusion."
Dokja offered a brief shake of the head after opening his mouth and failing to get any words out.
"Right." The manager pulled out a screen device and held it up so that the horizontal guide could see it without moving. "We want to share some data on the success of the guiding session the day prior."
So it's already been a day? Dokja thought.
"As you can see, Esper Yoo's AIM had been significantly reduced from just one session, and the prognosis of future guidings is looking promising thus far," The manager was rattling off data as if Dokja cared.
And what do you mean future guidings?! Look at me!
Dokja closed his eyes. Sleeping for a day had not nearly been enough to bring him back on track. The manager seemed to realize that they had brought the wrong approach.
"And of course–I can't forget to list the benefits included in becoming a guide for our top Esper." The manager looked suspiciously nervous, wringing the black tie around their neck before continuing their spiel. "This would include –but not be limited to!– paid breaks leading up to and prior to guiding sessions, your choice of added amenities, a new selection of guiding spaces closer to Esper Yoo's quarters for ease of access–" Dokja put a hand up at this, before managing to sit up.
"Excuse me, but that is hardly an added benefit." His voice was hoarse.
"Ah yes, you're right, my apologies." The manager looked like there was a gun to their head, ready to shoot if they didn't get Dokja to agree to their arrangement. "All of these are open to discussion and we will be more than accommodating to your needs, Guide Kim. All we hope is that you agree to guiding Esper Yoo."
Dokja sighed, bringing his knees up to rest his head a bit atop them.
"Let me ask one thing," He turned to look at the manager with narrowed eyes, "why exactly am I being chosen for such a. . ." Dokja paused, "respectable task as guiding the company's only S-rank Esper?"
Especially since I'm a B-rank guide, Dokja wanted to add. And not even a good one with how fastidious and quick to nausea I am.
"Well," The manager was fully hanging their head at this point, "Esper Yoo has been on the verge of a rampage for a while now and he isn't the easiest to convince. If there is something he doesn't want to do. . . " The staff got a troubled look in their eye, obviously recounting past scenarios of the prickly Esper.
"So, Esper Yoo was allowed to get to the brink of a rampage because he simply didn't want to receive a guiding? The very same Esper that is almost single-handedly keeping this company afloat?" Dokja couldn't help but be a little snappy about it. "And this doesn't even explain why exactly I was chosen in the first place."
The guide crossed his arms before leaning back into the bedrest behind him, allowing the staff opportunity to speak.
"Yes, well. . . you are actually the only guide here with a feasible match rate with Esper Yoo."
Dokja was incredulous at the words he was hearing. "I barely have a high match rate with any Espers, not even with those at the same rank as me– how in the world am I a good match with an S-rank?" It didn't make sense.
"Well, I never said it was a good match rate, pur se," Now Dokja was just confused. "It's still low, but it's higher than we've ever gotten with any other guide here. It seemed like our only shot with Esper Yoo on his last leg." The manager looked almost hesitant to say any more.
Dokja sighed, both tired and frustrated with the way this was playing out.
"Just tell me more about the benefits"
"Ah yes, if you insist–" The manager perked up instantly. "meaning you'll agree to the guiding, Mr. Kim?"
Dokja felt guilty looking into the hopeful mask adorning the other's face, "I haven't agreed yet, I'd like to hear more about those employee perks you were talking about."
He hoped he wasn't getting into anything too troublesome.
— — — — —
— — — — —
Had Dokja mentioned that all he wanted was a stable, boring office life?
As he sat here in his guiding room, arms crossed and sitting upright in the cushioned seat, he stared across at the sweating manager and the obvious lack of an Esper in the space beside.
Dokja tapped a slender finger on his upper arm, peering with a polite smile that didn't reach his eyes at the other for the nth time in the last hour. The manager checked their watch nervously.
"Esper Yoo will be here shortly."
"Hmm."
The manager pursed their lips, growing increasingly irritated and apologetic.
At least I'm getting paid for this. Dokja checked his own watch and saw the time change to indicate exactly an hour and one minute over the assigned start time.
When a knock was heard, the manager shot to stand and turned to face the door in time to see the one and only Esper Yoo enter behind another staff personnel.
Dokja could see the manager and the staff exchange colourful expressions between each other in silence, an unperturbed Joonghyuk Yoo confidently making his way to the guiding seat across from Dokja and sitting leaned back in front of him.
Offering a smile that wasn't returned, Dokja then turned to the manager who gave him a thumbs up as they came back to stand behind the couch Esper Yoo sat.
With a quiet sigh and a plastered smile, Dokja introduced himself.
"Hello, Esper Yoo!" Dokja extended a pale hand towards the other, "My name is Kim Dokja, and I've been assigned to handle your guiding sessions until you reach a stable zone. Nice to meet you officially."
His hand hung awkwardly in the air between them.
After a beat where it seemed the other was not going to reciprocate, the manager nudged the Esper from behind, trying to be discreet.
With a gruff exhale, Esper Yoo actually reached forward to meet Dokja's hand in a crushing handshake, causing him to yelp at the strong hold and pull back.
Holding his own hand in the palm of the other, Dokja looked up to see Esper Yoo looking back with a disinterested look on his face.
"Joonghyuk Yoo," The Esper gave him own name, "But don't call me so casually. It's Esper Yoo."
Dokja felt a vein pop in his forehead, looking up disbelievingly at the manager who avoided eye-contact.
"Right." Dokja couldn't wait for the sessions to be over. . . and it hadn't even started yet. "I'll be in your care then, Esper Yoo." Dokja might have said the other's name between gritted teeth, obvious annoyance coming through. The said Esper simply raised an eyebrow at the clear irritation.
With a breath, Dokja vowed to calm down and conjure up some sympathy.
Esper Yoo is just high-strung. Yeah. It happens after never receiving proper guidance. Have patience. . .
Dokja put on a sweet smile again, catching the other a bit off-guard, though the Esper was good at reining in his expression quickly.
With an extended hand, Dokja offered a guiding session. The other finally sat up properly in the seat and reached out to grab the hand, but this time with intent to relieve some of that built-up emanating energy.
When Dokja came in contact with the tanned hand of the other, the zap of heat was an expected, but still shocking disturbance to his own system. Though he could keep his face undisturbed, the volatile energy was pushing for a reaction.
Dokja couldn't help but feel his hand tremor a bit as his eyes lost focus every now and again as he did his best to ease some of the dark swirling excess within the Esper. He could see the dark haired Esper narrow his eyes at the changing state of the Guide, his glaring eyes focused intently on the man struggling to guide him.
Barely registering that the rough palm of the other was no longer in contact with his hand, Dokja blinked and tried to regain focus. His mind was already spinning, and he hadn't noticed that the Esper had yanked his hand free, turning away from Dokja to face his skittish manager.
"What kind of weak guide did you bring me", the voice was booming in the space of his office, and Dokja squeezed his eyes at the noise.
"Well, I was the only one short-sighted enough to guide you." Dokja spoke before he could register what came out of his mouth.
The Esper whipped his head back to glare at the Guide, but the guide looked around as well, incredulous.
"My gosh! Who said that!"
The manager was making sharp hand motions behind the Esper for Dokja to stop.
Sighing through his nose, Dokja reached out once again for the Esper to continue guiding.
"Let us resume, Esper Yoo." Dokja enunciated each word, trying his best to be understanding despite regretting agreeing to guide the other.
The other peered back hesitantly, and Dokja could appreciate the only good virtue of the other: his handsome face.
Of course, Dokja wanted to be kind and understanding to the other's situation as well, and if he needed to reason and convince himself that the other's face could make up for the poor personality, he would do what he had to do.
For the paycheck, Dokja reminded himself.
The other ended up not taking the outstretched hand this time, grimacing in disgust before getting up to leave with his manager trailing close behind. Dokja tried not to feel too offended.
With the room no longer suffocated with the others' awkward presence, Dokja leaned back into his couch, finally letting the headache catch up to him.
Guiding the other, even briefly, sure took a toll on him– both physically and mentally.
Dokja got up, heading towards the break room where a much-needed coffee was awaiting him.
— — — — —
— — — — —
It was a whirlwind of a week following his first encounter with the Great Esper Yoo, and it was getting increasingly hard to find good in his heart.
Maybe if he looks extra deep he could find some? Perhaps he should go take another look at that handsome mug of the other's to find some resolve in guiding him.
Dokja huffed, crossing his arms and leaning back in his seat. Esper Yoo's manager had all but pleaded Dokja to ignore the contempt thrown at Dokja days prior and scheduled them another guiding session for the next day. The Esper (dis)respectfully chose to never show up for that one.
Or, what about the session the manager assured Dokja the other would be attending the morning after? There wasn't even a measly whiff of the top Esper in the building that day.
And here he was again, waiting for Joonghyuk Yoo to show up for a session.
Oh right! The guiding session that was supposed to have started and ended by now! The session that was booked especially to aid Joonghyuk– Joonghyuk's session!
He also learned the bastard was the same age as him. If he expected him to be referring to the other as 'Esper Yoo' all the time, he better show some mutual respect.
But, Dokja couldn't say he wasn't worried about the other, either. Sure, it was quite bothersome to be cursed at when you're trying to help, but the other honestly looked more alarmed than angry when he woke up that first day.
Dokja was pulled out of his thoughts by the looming figure of Esper Yoo walking into his office, not having bothered to knock. He saw the manager poke his head through the door before giving Dokja a shaking thumbs up before closing the door and leaving Dokja alone in the room with the already agitated-looking Esper.
Dokja was acutely aware of the fact that his one exit out of the room was blocked by the darkly clad Esper sitting in between the door and Dokja's seat. Dokja liked to think he was a perfectly average height for a man in his country, but having Esper Yoo in the same space as him made him question if his genetics had let him down.
Note to self: rearrange guiding room.
He cleared his throat.
"Hello, Esper Yoo. How are you today. . ." The broad-shouldered man sat silent on the other seat, looking off at nothing with obvious disinterest.
Dokja just extended his hand out for the other.
The other didn't even look in his direction, and there was no manager to encourage participation this time.
Retracting his hand, Dokja stared unabashed at the Esper gracing his presence.
"Esper Yoo." No response. "Joonghyuk."
The other's head spun so fast that Dokja didn't even see it turn. One second the man was looking elsewhere, and in the next second he had his blazing eyes trained on Dokja.
"What–" The other seethed out his words, but Dokja smiled after getting his attention.
"Oh! I thought since we were the same age, we could be a little more friendly–what do you say, Joonghyuk?"
The other didn't even know what to say, rendered speechless by the gall.
"Come on, you can call me Dokja. We can be friends." The thought seemed to repulse the other. Dokja reached out again, encouraging the Esper to meet his hand.
When the other still didn't participate, Dokja changed his tactic.
"Joonghyuk," Dokja watched with joy as the other's eye twitched, "Look, I don't want to be here any more than you." Actually that was a lie, I'm getting paid a good amount, "the faster we get you to a safe point, away from rampage, the sooner we can go our separate ways."
This seemed to work and the other grunted, but grabbed Dokja's hand in a death grip.
With a wince at the hold, Dokja began guiding.
The session didn't last long however, and once nausea overtook his body, the Esper promptly left with a piercing glare.
Welp. Dokja could at least say he tried.
The pounding in his head had only slightly diminished, but the true difficulty came when trying to turn his head and see who had entered the resting space. Grunting in effort, Dokja managed to squint and make out the shape of a medical staff and a manager he recognized from Esper Yoo's team. The indistinct chatter of discussion was hard to make out in his post-sleep state, but the two seemed to notice the other stir on the bed. The medical staff cleared their throat and finished writing up something on their board, before leaving the room with a polite smile.
"Guide Kim," the manager said, "we just finished noting your vitals, I hope you don't mind the intrusion."
Dokja offered a brief shake of the head after opening his mouth and failing to get any words out.
"Right." The manager pulled out a screen device and held it up so that the horizontal guide could see it without moving. "We want to share some data on the success of the guiding session the day prior."
So it's already been a day? Dokja thought.
"As you can see, Esper Yoo's AIM had been significantly reduced from just one session, and the prognosis of future guidings is looking promising thus far," The manager was rattling off data as if Dokja cared.
And what do you mean future guidings?! Look at me!
Dokja closed his eyes. Sleeping for a day had not nearly been enough to bring him back on track. The manager seemed to realize that they had brought the wrong approach.
"And of course–I can't forget to list the benefits included in becoming a guide for our top Esper." The manager looked suspiciously nervous, wringing the black tie around their neck before continuing their spiel. "This would include –but not be limited to!– paid breaks leading up to and prior to guiding sessions, your choice of added amenities, a new selection of guiding spaces closer to Esper Yoo's quarters for ease of access–" Dokja put a hand up at this, before managing to sit up.
"Excuse me, but that is hardly an added benefit." His voice was hoarse.
"Ah yes, you're right, my apologies." The manager looked like there was a gun to their head, ready to shoot if they didn't get Dokja to agree to their arrangement. "All of these are open to discussion and we will be more than accommodating to your needs, Guide Kim. All we hope is that you agree to guiding Esper Yoo."
Dokja sighed, bringing his knees up to rest his head a bit atop them.
"Let me ask one thing," He turned to look at the manager with narrowed eyes, "why exactly am I being chosen for such a. . ." Dokja paused, "respectable task as guiding the company's only S-rank Esper?"
Especially since I'm a B-rank guide, Dokja wanted to add. And not even a good one with how fastidious and quick to nausea I am.
"Well," The manager was fully hanging their head at this point, "Esper Yoo has been on the verge of a rampage for a while now and he isn't the easiest to convince. If there is something he doesn't want to do. . . " The staff got a troubled look in their eye, obviously recounting past scenarios of the prickly Esper.
"So, Esper Yoo was allowed to get to the brink of a rampage because he simply didn't want to receive a guiding? The very same Esper that is almost single-handedly keeping this company afloat?" Dokja couldn't help but be a little snappy about it. "And this doesn't even explain why exactly I was chosen in the first place."
The guide crossed his arms before leaning back into the bedrest behind him, allowing the staff opportunity to speak.
"Yes, well. . . you are actually the only guide here with a feasible match rate with Esper Yoo."
Dokja was incredulous at the words he was hearing. "I barely have a high match rate with any Espers, not even with those at the same rank as me– how in the world am I a good match with an S-rank?" It didn't make sense.
"Well, I never said it was a good match rate, pur se," Now Dokja was just confused. "It's still low, but it's higher than we've ever gotten with any other guide here. It seemed like our only shot with Esper Yoo on his last leg." The manager looked almost hesitant to say any more.
Dokja sighed, both tired and frustrated with the way this was playing out.
"Just tell me more about the benefits"
"Ah yes, if you insist–" The manager perked up instantly. "meaning you'll agree to the guiding, Mr. Kim?"
Dokja felt guilty looking into the hopeful mask adorning the other's face, "I haven't agreed yet, I'd like to hear more about those employee perks you were talking about."
He hoped he wasn't getting into anything too troublesome.
— — — — —
— — — — —
Had Dokja mentioned that all he wanted was a stable, boring office life?
As he sat here in his guiding room, arms crossed and sitting upright in the cushioned seat, he stared across at the sweating manager and the obvious lack of an Esper in the space beside.
Dokja tapped a slender finger on his upper arm, peering with a polite smile that didn't reach his eyes at the other for the nth time in the last hour. The manager checked their watch nervously.
"Esper Yoo will be here shortly."
"Hmm."
The manager pursed their lips, growing increasingly irritated and apologetic.
At least I'm getting paid for this. Dokja checked his own watch and saw the time change to indicate exactly an hour and one minute over the assigned start time.
When a knock was heard, the manager shot to stand and turned to face the door in time to see the one and only Esper Yoo enter behind another staff personnel.
Dokja could see the manager and the staff exchange colourful expressions between each other in silence, an unperturbed Joonghyuk Yoo confidently making his way to the guiding seat across from Dokja and sitting leaned back in front of him.
Offering a smile that wasn't returned, Dokja then turned to the manager who gave him a thumbs up as they came back to stand behind the couch Esper Yoo sat.
With a quiet sigh and a plastered smile, Dokja introduced himself.
"Hello, Esper Yoo!" Dokja extended a pale hand towards the other, "My name is Kim Dokja, and I've been assigned to handle your guiding sessions until you reach a stable zone. Nice to meet you officially."
His hand hung awkwardly in the air between them.
After a beat where it seemed the other was not going to reciprocate, the manager nudged the Esper from behind, trying to be discreet.
With a gruff exhale, Esper Yoo actually reached forward to meet Dokja's hand in a crushing handshake, causing him to yelp at the strong hold and pull back.
Holding his own hand in the palm of the other, Dokja looked up to see Esper Yoo looking back with a disinterested look on his face.
"Joonghyuk Yoo," The Esper gave him own name, "But don't call me so casually. It's Esper Yoo."
Dokja felt a vein pop in his forehead, looking up disbelievingly at the manager who avoided eye-contact.
"Right." Dokja couldn't wait for the sessions to be over. . . and it hadn't even started yet. "I'll be in your care then, Esper Yoo." Dokja might have said the other's name between gritted teeth, obvious annoyance coming through. The said Esper simply raised an eyebrow at the clear irritation.
With a breath, Dokja vowed to calm down and conjure up some sympathy.
Esper Yoo is just high-strung. Yeah. It happens after never receiving proper guidance. Have patience. . .
Dokja put on a sweet smile again, catching the other a bit off-guard, though the Esper was good at reining in his expression quickly.
With an extended hand, Dokja offered a guiding session. The other finally sat up properly in the seat and reached out to grab the hand, but this time with intent to relieve some of that built-up emanating energy.
When Dokja came in contact with the tanned hand of the other, the zap of heat was an expected, but still shocking disturbance to his own system. Though he could keep his face undisturbed, the volatile energy was pushing for a reaction.
Dokja couldn't help but feel his hand tremor a bit as his eyes lost focus every now and again as he did his best to ease some of the dark swirling excess within the Esper. He could see the dark haired Esper narrow his eyes at the changing state of the Guide, his glaring eyes focused intently on the man struggling to guide him.
Barely registering that the rough palm of the other was no longer in contact with his hand, Dokja blinked and tried to regain focus. His mind was already spinning, and he hadn't noticed that the Esper had yanked his hand free, turning away from Dokja to face his skittish manager.
"What kind of weak guide did you bring me", the voice was booming in the space of his office, and Dokja squeezed his eyes at the noise.
"Well, I was the only one short-sighted enough to guide you." Dokja spoke before he could register what came out of his mouth.
The Esper whipped his head back to glare at the Guide, but the guide looked around as well, incredulous.
"My gosh! Who said that!"
The manager was making sharp hand motions behind the Esper for Dokja to stop.
Sighing through his nose, Dokja reached out once again for the Esper to continue guiding.
"Let us resume, Esper Yoo." Dokja enunciated each word, trying his best to be understanding despite regretting agreeing to guide the other.
The other peered back hesitantly, and Dokja could appreciate the only good virtue of the other: his handsome face.
Of course, Dokja wanted to be kind and understanding to the other's situation as well, and if he needed to reason and convince himself that the other's face could make up for the poor personality, he would do what he had to do.
For the paycheck, Dokja reminded himself.
The other ended up not taking the outstretched hand this time, grimacing in disgust before getting up to leave with his manager trailing close behind. Dokja tried not to feel too offended.
With the room no longer suffocated with the others' awkward presence, Dokja leaned back into his couch, finally letting the headache catch up to him.
Guiding the other, even briefly, sure took a toll on him– both physically and mentally.
Dokja got up, heading towards the break room where a much-needed coffee was awaiting him.
— — — — —
— — — — —
It was a whirlwind of a week following his first encounter with the Great Esper Yoo, and it was getting increasingly hard to find good in his heart.
Maybe if he looks extra deep he could find some? Perhaps he should go take another look at that handsome mug of the other's to find some resolve in guiding him.
Dokja huffed, crossing his arms and leaning back in his seat. Esper Yoo's manager had all but pleaded Dokja to ignore the contempt thrown at Dokja days prior and scheduled them another guiding session for the next day. The Esper (dis)respectfully chose to never show up for that one.
Or, what about the session the manager assured Dokja the other would be attending the morning after? There wasn't even a measly whiff of the top Esper in the building that day.
And here he was again, waiting for Joonghyuk Yoo to show up for a session.
Oh right! The guiding session that was supposed to have started and ended by now! The session that was booked especially to aid Joonghyuk– Joonghyuk's session!
He also learned the bastard was the same age as him. If he expected him to be referring to the other as 'Esper Yoo' all the time, he better show some mutual respect.
But, Dokja couldn't say he wasn't worried about the other, either. Sure, it was quite bothersome to be cursed at when you're trying to help, but the other honestly looked more alarmed than angry when he woke up that first day.
Dokja was pulled out of his thoughts by the looming figure of Esper Yoo walking into his office, not having bothered to knock. He saw the manager poke his head through the door before giving Dokja a shaking thumbs up before closing the door and leaving Dokja alone in the room with the already agitated-looking Esper.
Dokja was acutely aware of the fact that his one exit out of the room was blocked by the darkly clad Esper sitting in between the door and Dokja's seat. Dokja liked to think he was a perfectly average height for a man in his country, but having Esper Yoo in the same space as him made him question if his genetics had let him down.
Note to self: rearrange guiding room.
He cleared his throat.
"Hello, Esper Yoo. How are you today. . ." The broad-shouldered man sat silent on the other seat, looking off at nothing with obvious disinterest.
Dokja just extended his hand out for the other.
The other didn't even look in his direction, and there was no manager to encourage participation this time.
Retracting his hand, Dokja stared unabashed at the Esper gracing his presence.
"Esper Yoo." No response. "Joonghyuk."
The other's head spun so fast that Dokja didn't even see it turn. One second the man was looking elsewhere, and in the next second he had his blazing eyes trained on Dokja.
"What–" The other seethed out his words, but Dokja smiled after getting his attention.
"Oh! I thought since we were the same age, we could be a little more friendly–what do you say, Joonghyuk?"
The other didn't even know what to say, rendered speechless by the gall.
"Come on, you can call me Dokja. We can be friends." The thought seemed to repulse the other. Dokja reached out again, encouraging the Esper to meet his hand.
When the other still didn't participate, Dokja changed his tactic.
"Joonghyuk," Dokja watched with joy as the other's eye twitched, "Look, I don't want to be here any more than you." Actually that was a lie, I'm getting paid a good amount, "the faster we get you to a safe point, away from rampage, the sooner we can go our separate ways."
This seemed to work and the other grunted, but grabbed Dokja's hand in a death grip.
With a wince at the hold, Dokja began guiding.
The session didn't last long however, and once nausea overtook his body, the Esper promptly left with a piercing glare.
Welp. Dokja could at least say he tried.
End of How About I Guide Myself Right Into Your Heart? || Joongdok Chapter 2. Continue reading Chapter 3 or return to How About I Guide Myself Right Into Your Heart? || Joongdok book page.