How to Make a Sinner Sleep - Chapter 45: Chapter 45

Kaden begun to feel his back coated in slick sweat, a fever running in his veins and hallucinations creeping along the edges of the room, hiding within the shadows. He kept the light on, even curled on his bed.
He wasn't quite scared of the dark, but rather what was inside it. And while he saw whispers creeping in the shadows, it was better than the pitch black of night.
The Devil's Moon would occur in two nights, and he only needed to endure until then. It never happened before—this agony that came like a dull beating with every thump of his heart, and slowly aching up his limbs.
He saw blinking eyes under the bed, but when he peered down, there was nothing. The cabinet drawers creaked open, but when he blinked, all was normal.
He thought he saw a person, tall and slim and watching, standing in the corner of the room, but it was gone by the time he turned his head to look. It was all his imagination, all not real and nothing that could harm him.
But knowing that his imagination created false monsters didn't mean he wouldn't look, double-checking to make sure it was really just his mind playing tricks.
Thankfully, he'd kicked Noah out of the room, though the dragon seemed reluctant and on the verge of prying the door back open on its hinges, forcing his way inside to his own bed.
It couldn't be helped, really. Noah already knew of the nightmares that kept Kaden up at night, and it would be no good for the dragon to be there for more of his weakness.
His pathetic state. Or states, plural. Which was worse.
He heard voices speaking outside, but his senses were dull. A shadow plopped down in the space beneath his door, and Kaden frowned.
He heard Niklas and Noah speaking outside. The words didn't register with his mind as he was suddenly overtaken by a sudden burst of sleepiness, and the hallucinations became much more vivid.
He wanted to sleep; he couldn't sleep.
His eyes had to close; he had to open them to check.
Triple check the monsters, the creatures of the night that roamed along the edges of his mind, and his room.
He dragged himself up, blankets draped over his shoulders, tugging them closer to his body as he wandered to the door. Closing his eyes, he leaned, listening to the crinkle of paper, the turn of a page and steady breathing.
Noah.
He mouthed the name deliriously.
What a ridiculous person he was, sitting outside. Kaden would've told him to stay with Niklas, but he was too tired to speak.
His body swayed in the murmurs of sleep, to the movement of paper that flipped at a steady pace, relaxing his mind. The person who wasn't a hallucination, a body resting outside against the door.
His body slumped to the ground with a soft thud.
The sound of paper stopped.
And a voice, cautious and low from the weight of exhaustion that came with night, called, "Chauvet?"
"Present." said Kaden hoarsely, rubbing his aching back.
He leaned against the wall, feeling the vibrations through the wood of Noah's voice behind. He was more awake now, a little more alert.
"How do you feel?"
"Better than I've ever been before."
There was a brief of silence, and Kaden imagined Noah's penetrating stare that was both scolding and irritated at his sarcasm. The man chuckled against the door. One day, that dragon would make a good parent, or even a teacher.
Though it would be a teacher that disliked talking to his students... Kaden decided Noah shouldn't become a teacher after all.
In his daze, a myriad of colours dancing across his eyes and unblinking eyes staring at him from the crevices between the blankets or drawers, he wondered aloud, "Hey, Bellamy. What do you want to become?"
Another moment of silence before Noah returned the question. "What about you?"
"I think that's a question to ask after you answer mine."
"I'll consider answering after you."
Kaden laughed, a wry sort of sound, and felt no desire to argue. "I just want to have a normal, regular life."
"And what is normal?"
"Let's say I want to have the pretense of normality. A life that others can look at and not care about, a life that is unassuming and plain." Kaden paused and added, "Though I dislike wanting that."
Noah tilted his head against the door, eyes slitted and gazing at the patterns along the wall. "Why?"
"Because to want to be normal is to know that you're not."
Noah remained silent, seeming to contemplate and assess the words in his mind, rearranging it into the folder of his thoughts. Kaden didn't mind the silence, tuning into the dragon's calm breathing from the other side of the door.
"I want," said the dragon slowly, "To explore the lands. To fall in love, to have a family. To work in something I enjoy, to write a book, to live peacefully. That is what I want to become."
It was so mundane, and in a way, the same as Kaden. But Kaden wanted normality without knowing what it was, while Noah's specific wishes were the very definition of it.
Kaden tried to imagine it, Noah Bellamy, the proud and respected dragon's kin, laughing with a partner by his side. Watching quietly with an affectionate and observing gaze, in a house—would it be large or small?
He decided Noah would likely live in a smaller house, comfortable and warm. Would the house smell of delicious foods, baked or cooked by the dragon's skillful hands?
Would paper litter the ground, and books pile in the corners? There would probably be a dozen of bookshelves, a house made of stories. And he knew the feeling of Noah's cold embrace, a refreshing chill that balanced the warmth of the room.
There was a light tapping on the door. "What're you imagining?"
"The sort of life you'd live." smiled Kaden, all pretenses lost by the barrier of the door. "It looks like it'd be an enjoyable life."
"What specifically did you think of?"
"I imagine you cooking or baking all sorts of things, making the house smell of not only books, but fresh baked bread or pastries, the aroma of herbs and sizzling with the sound of fried vegetables or meats."
Noah closed his eyes, drawing his imagination by the image of Kaden's words.
"What else?"
"You'd have a desk for writing, stacked neatly with books and papers, piles of them. Filled with the scribbles of ideas, of thoughts and vivid stories."
"Continue."
"Do you like beds, Bellamy? I imagine you having a sprawl of blankets or pillows, a dedicated corner of softness designed to fall asleep while reading or daydreaming."
Noah's eyes cracked open slightly, drunk on the idea of his future, and a house so desirable he wished he lived there presently. Quietly, he wondered even while knowing what sort of answer he'd receive, "And where would you lie?"
Kaden blinked sleepily, suppressing a yawn as he drew his legs closer to his body, bundled in the blanket. "Nowhere. I don't exist in this house of yours."
The dream was shattered immediately, and Noah realized that he hadn't imagined a young man or woman wandering in his home, a figure living among his books and cooking, smiling or laughing.
He did imagine somebody, but it wasn't just anybody. It wasn't the blurry silhouette of a possible future lover.
It was Kaden.
It was Kaden that he'd seen fit in perfectly with the house of his dreams, lazing around in that pile of blankets and pillows, peering over his shoulder while he wrote.
It was Kaden he imagined watching him cook and tease, questioning while attempting to help out and failing miserably.
It was Kaden's mocking laughter, his random thoughts, his everything, that brought warmth to the illusion.
And Noah wasn't foolish enough to pretend he didn't know what it meant, when a person existed so naturally in his present and future.
"Bellamy?"
The realization had struck Noah by surprise, but as he came to understand his thoughts, a light smile curled on his lips and he changed the subject.
"Do you know how to fold paper? It's a popular craft in some of the eastern territories."
Kaden leaned back, breathing slowly. There was no ignoring the pain that splintered in his veins, or the ghosts that danced across his vision. It was a version of his own insomnia, only there was no reprieve.
He mustered an even tone, but he was certain that Noah wouldn't fall for his facades. "I've heard of it."
"Do you want to learn?"
Kaden almost laughed, instead releasing a breathy chuckle. Of course Noah was well educated in all things paper, whether it was partaking in books, or allowing words to flow onto paper. It made so much sense that in his delirium, he felt amusement soothe his anxiety.
"Sure. Teach me anything."
"An animal? Flower? Item?"
"An animal."
Noah was silent, probably deciding what best to teach him. Kaden waited patiently. Their time was boundless, and while he felt sorry that Noah had to endure the night, he also didn't want to be left alone in the creeping dark.
It was alright to be selfish, right? This once.
The evening, to the beginning of morning, was theirs alone.
A piece of paper, perfectly square, slipped under the door. Kaden heard the crinkle of Noah's own paper, before the man's quiet voice sounded.
"Fold it in half diagonally twice, to make a triangle."
Kaden followed, folding it across again at Noah's instruction. There was a gentle intimacy about the night, a conversation separated by a door.
"Unfold it, and following one half of the crease, push your finger through the middle and flatten it into a square."
Kaden was confused—instructions without demonstration were hard to follow when they required precise skill.
Hearing no response from Kaden except the folding and unfolding of paper that practically told of his confusion, Noah let out a low chuckle. "If you allow me inside, I'll show you."
"No." said Kaden sharply, before his voice softened. "No, this is different from my insomnia. My hallucinations can affect you."
"I do not fear what isn't real."
"It isn't about knowing that it isn't real. It's about the hesitation, the drop of doubt that forces you to check for monsters under the bed, to crack your eyes open in case somebody is peering over you."
"Chauvet—"
"I know it isn't real. But I've seen things, things that were more real than anything, and equally terrible. I can't help but wonder if the things my imagination spurs aren't just in my head. And that scares me."
Noah's head fell lightly on the wooden door.
Kaden grew slightly anxious at the idea of offending the dragon, and really, though he had initially planned to tide things over alone, the only thing that tethered him to reality was the other's presence.
But it couldn't be helped.
He couldn't risk exposing an unrelated party to his delusions, his ability gone mad by the upcoming Devil's Moon.
Then he remembered that it was still two nights before the moon would occur, and Noah occupied the space outside his door. The dragon, as he knew, was stubborn and proud.
Kaden reluctantly said, "That's enough, Bellamy. I'm tired, so you should head off too. I doubt Niklas would've fallen asleep yet. I'm sure his door is open."
"I'm sleeping out here, or in there. Choose one." came the irritated response.
"Because I love defying your expectations, I choose neither."
"You'll choose, or I'll decide myself."
Anything sounded more threatening when said by Noah Bellamy, due to the fact that the man never said anything he didn't mean. And Kaden had a feeling that Noah wouldn't settle for the former option.
He heard rustling outside, and the sound of heavy books being plopped down to the side. Kaden tilted his head back as the door handle wriggled above him, dangerously promising.
That if Kaden didn't answer, the dragon wouldn't hesitate to break down the door.
"Stay!" said Kaden hurriedly, spinning around to press his weight against the door. However, forgetting that his current state was crazed and dizzy, he slipped and slammed his forehead against the door.
Thunk—!
He gasped in pain, less physical and more mentally wounding, before the door lifted slightly and was thrust wide open.
Kaden fell back, and he thought he heard the sound of the lock breaking...
It couldn't be...
But when he lifted his chin, blinking away the blur of the sudden onslaught of light from the hallway, a lumbering, shadowed figure stood. The dragon's eyebrows were tightly knit, examining Kaden's rather pathetic position.
The taunting and well-feared man, fallen back onto his elbows as his legs tangled with blankets, and a pillow was wedged under his back, and another by his left arm. Pink hair mused, falling back to reveal a smooth forehead and green eyes wide in confusion.
Noah's eyes zeroed onto the bloom of red on the other's forehead, slowly spreading. "Does it hurt?"
"Ah?" Kaden rubbed his forehead gently, hissing slightly. He had a hard head, but he'd slammed into the door so suddenly, the pain was evident. "Yes, though I think my pride is more wounded."
"Never mind your pride." Noah strode over, crouching down with a frown. "Do you need ice? It shouldn't bruise."
"What do you mean, never mind my pride? It's one of the most important things to me."
"And it's something I care little for. I care more for your physical state."
"How romantic. I'm in love."
Noah shook his head with an exasperated sigh. Of course, that man, who'd displayed some semblance of weakness only moments earlier, would have the energy to taunt when met face-to-face.
If Kaden had enough energy to make ridiculous remarks, then the head injury was probably nothing terrible.
In fact, such a small bump would normally be nothing for Noah to concern himself over, but it was the mere fact that if it did develop into something serious, no matter how unlikely, Kaden wouldn't say anything about it.
If there were nine things to dislike about Kaden Chauvet, one would be his talents in faking wellness until he collapsed somewhere Noah couldn't see.
And if Kaden refused to say anything, then Noah was naturally obliged to keep a closer eye on that fool who liked wandering into danger and injury.
Kaden recalled the seriousness of his own state and shoved Noah away. "Get out, get out." The flash of blinking red eyes in the dark, the tall and skinny man whose head reached the ceiling in the corner. "Quick, before you see them too!"
Noah stumbled back, not expecting to be kicked out as soon as he entered.
And then, as Kaden's hand ghosted past his bare arms, sleeves rolled up earlier to get comfortable, Noah's gaze flickered to the side.
He saw the ghosts that haunted Kaden's mind, the obscure and strange illusions that peered at him as if they were really there. The image faded soon after, but Noah came to a dark knowing.
That these were the things that watched Kaden as he slept.
And that a glance made Noah feel haunted, calmed by the thought of knowing they weren't real, then what did they make Kaden feel? When they refused to disappear, to flicker out and turn into nightmares?
"Bellamy?" Kaden shuffled forward, tilting his head. "Hello? Earth to dragon? Don't tell me you've fallen asleep with your eyes open—I think no amount of love I have can find that not creepy—"
"I'm going to sleep. Here."
"I've already said—"
"You took too long to decide."
Noah ignored Kaden, and snatched his blankets outside, plopping them back onto his own bed. He reorganized his books, threw the covers open and laid down.
Of course, he wanted to drag that stupefied fool into the bed with him, but he'd already intruded on Kaden's wants by remaining inside, and didn't want to push too far. Kaden was like a stray cat, scampering away when you got too close.
Kaden paled as he saw Noah's eyes skim to the corner of the room, seeing something that shouldn't be there. He swallowed harshly. "You see it. My abilities, they're making you hallucinate, too."
Noah's eyes flickered open, black and fathomless. "Chauvet. Do you see me?"
"Of course, I'm not blind."
"And am I real?"
"Well, yes. What other answer do you want me to give?"
The dragon exhaled, leaning into his mattress as strays of his hair fell over his face, a tiredness in his solemn gaze. "Then that's all you need to know. I'm real, and I'm here, and as long as I'm in this room, I won't allow anything to harm you."
"That's not how it works—"
"Real or fake, you don't have to worry about anything attacking you while you sleep, Chauvet. Not as long as I'm here."
Kaden fell silent, sitting on his pile of blankets. Then, to Noah's delight—seeing he was very tired, and much wanted to sleep, but a certain, stubborn fox refused—Kaden climbed into the space beside Noah.
He tucked himself under the blankets, clutching a pillow barrier, and closed his eyes. It was the first time Kaden took initiative without any invitation.
"I'll hold you to your words, Bellamy." mumbled the sleepy fool, curling into himself and keeping a thin divide of space between himself and the other.
Noah's eyes softened. "I'll accept any punishment if I betray that."
"I'll make you streak across the hallways."
"...I can consider it."
Kaden laughed, the sound muffled by the layer of blankets, and Noah smiled.