How to Make a Sinner Sleep - Chapter 50: Chapter 50

It was safe to say, as any normal, sane human did, that Kaden avoided Noah promptly after the dragon's accusation. Not only because it was awkward, and that there was something miserable about Noah's tone that insisted upon an answer.
What answer? Kaden didn't know, and if he did, life would be much easier.
But there were many things that people didn't know, such as the perfect thing to say in particular situations, or what action to do.
If it were any other person, perhaps they would have a worthwhile answer.
But it wasn't.
And so, Kaden had forced a laugh that practically said, 'I don't know what you're talking about' and hurried away to unpack his bags and find the room he was supposed to stay in.
He felt a slight of dizziness on the way and stumbled on the stairs, knowing very well that a dark pair of eyes were judging him, and moved even faster.
He would choose ghosts over awkward social situations, any day.
There were three bedrooms upstairs, and Niklas had specifically chosen the room with a retractable staircase to the attic. Attics, as common sense told, were almost always haunted.
Kaden actually wondered where Niklas came upon the house, and considering the cleanliness of it, who owned it.
He had a feeling Niklas wouldn't tell him though, giving a paragraph of speech that answered absolutely nothing instead. He placed his bag down on the bed that hadn't been tossed with clothing in the short time of their arrival.
After, he turned to examine the room. There was a lot that could be said about a room, especially when inhabited by another.
But even ghosts left marks.
Kaden noticed a hitch in the wood that ran along the wooden frame of the door and walked closer. In small scribbles, unnoticeable if one didn't look down, there were several tallies running along the height of the wall.
A number was inscribed next to it, along with a date.
Were they height markers?
Judging by the height, whoever made them was measuring a child's growth over the years. It was consistent, one mark for every consecutive year after the first.
Only, it stopped at the sixth year. There was a burnt mark instead, a thumb print that sunk into the wood as if it'd been melted, somehow and in some way. Kaden fell into a daze and traced the blemish on the oak, the darkness that told of a haunted past.
If the house were really haunted, what tale did the ghosts have to tell?
The floorboards creaked in the corner of the room, and he turned his head. Unnerved, Kaden glanced upwards at the attic and left the room.
He wandered the top floor, determining that it was more terrifying to listen to Noah's quiet accusations than to dance with ghosts. A closed room stood, the door firmly placed and refusing movement. Curious, he attempted to move the handle.
Only after aggressively wriggling it did he manage to pry it open, swinging it wide with a heavy thud.
It was a study room, tidied but old with the feel of unused. The desk was piled with books and papers wedged in between, but parted to leave a neat space to write or work on. There was a thick layer of dust settled over, and while everything else in the house was maintained, the study room hadn't been.
Kaden stepped inside, freezing at the darkness of the room, and the thick scent of dirt. He continued inside, to the curtains that shuttered all light away.
Drawing it wide open, he winced at the sudden onslaught of light.
He was almost tempted to throw it back closed and save him from the deadly rays of sunlight that he refused to admit he needed, before noticing a small garden viewed from the window.
The plants were watered and tended to, flourishing. A small wooden table, rough at the edges as if it'd been made from unprofessional hands, sat beside.
Nicola crouched at the plants, plucking leaves or petals gently to not affect it from growing back, and Niklas wandered over to bend his head low over her shoulders. He sniffed a mixture that she lifted up to him, eyes lighting up with praise.
She tilted her head back with laughter, the ringings of her gentle voice reaching the window where Kaden watched.
Holly was sitting on the bench, kicking her legs up as she scribbled madly in her notebook—of what, he didn't know and didn't dare imagine. Holly's notebook was likely filled of secrets that others didn't even know they'd shared.
It was a good thing that the woman, eager for gossip as she was, didn't often partake in the spreading of it, or using rumours for malicious means.
She only participated in gossip with Nicola, solely because she knew the student president wouldn't agree with mindlessly spoken rumours.
The tall window gave the most ideal view to the garden, the tickling of laughter and conversation grazing Kaden's ear.
Slightly away from the group, leaning against the shade of a tall, flowering tree that hung with white flowers and limp branches, Noah had a book open, spread in his palm. He read slowly, savouring the words on the page.
He looked as if he were drunk on the ink made of thoughts printed on paper, lost in the twisting speech of a journey far away in imagination.
Gone to the world, living without inhibition.
At some point, Kaden's hand had pressed against the glass as if he wanted to teleport to the location, appear naturally in the group of his friends. But sometimes, it was knowing that you wouldn't fit in with the only people you cared about, that felt the most lonely.
Then, Noah's deep gaze swept up to the window, reaching Kaden's forlorn expression. His eyebrow furrowed, and Kaden blinked in surprise.
He was, and should remain, a fool in their memories.
Thinking that, the man lifted his hand and waved with a smile, curling his fingers to make a heart as he pumped it against his chest. Noah's scowl only deepened, and Kaden laughed lightly before turning away.
He scanned the books on the table, the papers in a neat pile. Wiping off the layer of dust, he read the titles. Most, books about different species and plants, the cures and poisons found in nature and blood.
He flipped through a few, skimming the contents. They weren't anything too enlightening—he spent an ample time reading up on facts about different species and plants due to his classes.
Although he knew that it didn't really matter if he did well or poorly, that the result of his life would always steer the same direction, he felt a need to do well in class.
To prove himself in the only way he could.
At least, even if he was miserable and lonely, he could pretend to be intelligent.
Kaden laughed self-deprecatingly. In the end, even if he scored well on tests or answered all the questions, there would still be rumours and whispers of his cruelty, of his horrid character. It took decades of effort to change one's image, but a single fault to ruin it.
It was an excessive amount of books, as if the owner had collected everything they could find. What were they researching so desperately?
Or was it simply a hobby, and nothing that dramatic?
A knock tapped on the door, and Kaden turned. "Yes?"
"Can I enter?" A voice called, patient and low. Always polite, even to people he disliked. Kaden placed the book in his hands down.
"Of course. This isn't my room."
The door hinges groaned, pushed open. "I'm asking whether you'd rather I stay away, or if you wouldn't mind my presence."
"How would I dare say no to your company, Bellamy?"
Noah said nothing in response, though the tick in his jaw gave away with irritation. He roamed over to the stacks of books, the floorboards creaking with his slow steps.
Kaden moved slightly, and Noah noticed that the other's footstep didn't make a sound. As if a learned habit to walk quietly, so quietly one would wonder if he were there.
"Plants and species. Every book on them you could name, I'm sure they're somewhere in this pile." Kaden gestured to the rows of bookshelves running along the sides of the wall. "Or somewhere in there."
"An hobby almost obsessive." said Noah, lightly flicking a book open.
"I thought the same, but who's to say. Was this a man with a purpose, or a man with none? Was it for a special reason, or his pure enjoyment?"
Noah moved to the next book, flipping it open.
Kaden watched with interest. "Did you finish already? You're quite fast—why don't you sign up for a reading competition? A man of your ability would be revered by all."
"I would rather be revered by none."
"Really? Most would say otherwise."
"Would you?"
Kaden paused, and looked up from the papers to see Noah staring at him across the stacks of leather books on the desk, waiting for a response. He fell silent, and felt the air—perhaps because of the dust—was stuffy.
He thought of how it felt to be feared, to have the crimes he did or didn't do stapled to his name. He then considered what it would be liked if it were the opposite, if it weren't crimes but heroic deeds.
"I think," said Kaden slowly, thoughtful. "I wouldn't. I wouldn't want somebody to judge me based off what they think I am."
Noah seemed annoyed by the answer, slamming the book shut as he turned his back, approaching the bookshelves.
Kaden felt a slight of panic. "What? Is that wrong? Bellamy?"
Noah shook his head, shoulders slumped slightly. "You're a damned hypocrite, Kaden Chauvet."
"I don't get it."
"Then I won't explain it."
"How should I understand if you won't?"
"If you can only understand with an explanation," said Noah firmly, sternly. "Then I don't need your understanding at all."
Kaden frowned, slightly insulted. He crouched to the ground, bobbing on the spot with a thoughtful expression as he attempted to decipher Noah's words. Everything the dragon said always seemed a little cryptic.
Or maybe, it was just him that couldn't understand.
He felt a shadow over him and looked up, chin resting in his hands. Noah, holding a book open, peered at him silently.
"Have you been sleeping?"
Kaden smiled and pretended his dark eye bags were a new makeup trend. "Of course. It's one of the greatest pleasures in life."
"Your hallucinations. Are they gone?"
"...as well as they've always been. I no longer see the illusions caused by my ability." It was a roundabout answer. Technically, the effects of the Devil's Moon had long faded. But the nightmares of reality—real, true corpses and blood—haunted him.
Noah's eyes flickered, irritated once again. "Where will you sleep tonight?"
"Is this an invite to your bedroom, dearest Bellamy? I wouldn't say no." smiled Kaden, raising his brows.
"Where?" said the dragon again.
"With Niklas." said the other.
Noah didn't say anything after that. Neither said anything, reading through the piles of books. Occasionally, when Noah read something interesting, he would walk closer and leave the book open to the page he read, near Kaden.
On the other hand, when Kaden read something interesting, he would exclaim and shuffle beside the dragon, saying, "Isn't this interesting?"
The more they scoured the piles of books, they found slips of messy, scribbled writing that could hardly be called legible. Kaden moved his fingers, glancing at the smudge of ash over his gloves.
Most of the notes were filthy, rare as they were. Noah tapped on a book wedged in a book, and on the page, Kane saw a filled page of the same, terrible handwriting.
"The things that has been written... the Blessed and the Watchers?" Kaden squinted, barely able to read it. "Cure for... method to lock... she will..."
Noah's finger pressed against Kaden's forehead, forcing him to back up. "Don't strain your eyes, fool."
"My eyes are in a natural state of being strained, it's fine."
"Keep squinting, and I'll scatter dust in your eyes."
Kaden jumped back, eying Noah warily. The dragon's gaze was unbothered, calmly casting a single look at him with a side of satisfaction, and then returning his attention to the book.
"You were lying, weren't you, Bellamy? You wouldn't hurt me. There's no way."
"If it takes injury and threats for you to consider treating yourself better, I think the problem lies within you, rather than I, who makes the threats."
Kaden couldn't exactly refute it, scowling, and continued to peek over Noah's shoulders to read the journal.
It was almost disappointing when Niklas barged in loudly to call them to eat. Holly followed behind, and they both gasped as if they'd seen something scandalous. Kaden shot them both a dark look.
Unfortunately, they were a pair that didn't fear him.
Night soon came, and Kaden rolled and twisted in the mattress. It was a little too hard, and the pillow a little too soft. Or it was the moonlight that slipped inside from underneath the curtains.
Or it was that he couldn't sleep while sharing the room with another, although he'd done fine until now.
It was all these reasons, and it was none of them at all.
Even if the mattress were perfect and soft, even if his pillow was leveled and comfortable, he still wouldn't sleep. Nausea turned in his stomach as he curled up, his head swaying from exhaustion, from the temptation of sleep.
But as soon as he closed his eyes, he would feel something watching in the shadows, and snap them back open.
Niklas wasn't blind to Kaden's state, propping himself up on a pillow.
Blanketed by the night, the man's features seemed even more boyish. There was no tease in his voice and he looked over in concern.
"Kaden, tell me honestly. When was the last time you slept?"
"I can't sleep in unfamiliar places, that's all. I'll fall asleep soon."
"Kaden."
The sinner had never heard his friend's voice spoken in such a stern way, a scolding backdrop knitted into his words. His gaze flickered away, staring at a particular spot on the wall.
"I'm fine."
"Are you scared?" asked Niklas softly, almost gentle. "Not of the dark, but the things hiding inside it?"
"That's not it. I'm not scared."
"Kaden. If you think I'd judge you for your fears, then you have a terrible opinion of me and I'm extremely offended. Hey, what can I do? Do you want me to sleep beside you—there's no shame in that. You can't help what you fear, and what you don't."
Genuine worry knitted Niklas' brows, and even as his eyes were half-lidded from sleepiness, he showed no intention in lying back down.
"Look, I don't know how Noah's helped you. I don't know if whatever he did, I could do and have the same result. But I'm willing, you know? I'm not a bastard, I won't sleep knowing you're in this state."
Kaden, weakened by the kindness, knowing he deserved not the slightest bit of it, slumped against the wall. "Seven days."
"What?"
"It's been seven days since I've slept properly. I've had hours of sleep, short increments before I snapped my eyes open again. Moments I just don't remember anything, and maybe I fell asleep or maybe I blacked out."
"Seven days? Kaden, that isn't a joke, and if it is, it's one made in poor taste. Your body won't keep up, and you're unhealthy as it is!"
The sudden outburst jolted any traces of sleepiness out of both Kaden and Niklas. Niklas huffed, and sighed deeply.
"I'm sorry. But we're friends, aren't we? Don't go denying it after this long, no matter what commoner and whatever nonsense you told me in the beginning. And friends, sworn by an oath to a very important group—"
"The MoO's." interrupted Kaden.
"No, stop calling it that, it makes it sound less cool. M-O. The M-O's."
Kaden laughed, a light and rasping sound from the back of his throat. He was really tired, and at night especially, he felt drowned in the misery of his thoughts.
"MoO's."
"Again, no, stop."
But Niklas was smiling too with amusement lining his lips, crinkling his dark blue eyes, brown hair ruffled atop his head.
He leaned into his bed and asked quietly, "Can I do anything for you, Kaden?"
Kaden smiled, more genuinely this time. He shook his head. "I'll fall asleep eventually, Niklas."
"Sleeping in short bursts isn't healthy at all."
"It's all I can do."
"That's a lie—Noah helped you before, didn't he?"
Kaden paused, and shook his head. He stumbled out of the bed, gathering his coat as he reached for the door. Niklas rushed out of his own bed, scrambling and almost slipping on the tossed blankets that spilled onto the floor.
"What're you doing? It's dangerous, we're in the middle of the woods!"
"I need some fresh air. It calms me."
Niklas dropped his arm, hearing the honesty of Kaden's words. He frowned, scratched the back of his neck and spun around in frustration, flopping onto his bed. Kaden saw how he struggled to stay awake, forcing his eyes back open.
Kaden leaned against the door, tilting his chin arrogantly. "In that state, can you even stay awake to follow behind me? I won't carry you, Niklas, get some sleep. I'll be back soon."
Niklas ground his teeth with irritation, turning away as he tossed his blankets higher over him.
"Yeah, yeah, you heartless fellow. Refusing to spend quality time with me."
"Quality implies that it would be excellent."
"What else could my valuable time be, if not excellent? But since you've ignored this million gold opportunity, be gone. Don't stray too far, and if you don't return soon, I'll howl like a dog and send out a search party."
Kaden was amused by Niklas' words, waving as he left the room.