How to Make a Sinner Sleep - Chapter 62: Chapter 62

The Organizer was the first to speak, voice obscured and different. Their appearance had altered once again, a second shade swirling in their eyes, and their hair was difficult to discern by the hat that tipped forward.
"Careful, dragon." warned the man without trickery or tease. "It's only easy to hold back, to pretend to be what you're not when you're wearing a different skin."
Noah felt fire burning in his blood, the rush to his head. Desires, selfish thoughts, irritation and bitterness fueled his veins, a constant pulse that thrummed underneath his thickened layer of skin.
The ink that covered his hands had spread further, a glisten of scales beginning to form that ran to the sharpened tips of his nails.
It'd been so long since he allowed pieces of himself, of the dragon blood that ran inside him, to show that he couldn't control it. The chaos, the madness that he was given at birth.
Dragons, who knew their strength and worth by instinct, powered by wants and needs—living selfishly, living free.
But that freedom came with solitude.
Noah's shoulders fell and rose as he closed his eyes, feeling the warm skin of the man in his arms, obediently leaning back without struggling. Kaden, who listened quietly and closed his eyes without even being certain that it was Noah.
"Noah Bellamy." warned the Organizer once again quietly.
There was a hint of concern.
Noah steadied his breaths, pupils expanding and shrinking. In control, calm, patient? Noah Bellamy could never be any of those things—he could only pretend.
It was false, the way he earnestly listened and waited, because really, how could he be patient when it took every fiber of his being to remain calm? He knew it best; that he was the furthest thing from the label of 'perfect' easily stamped to his name.
"Noah," Kaden opened his mouth to speak, feeling the stirrings of the dragon at his back, realizing that something was odd. "Should I assume, based off their words, that you're in a half-human, half-dragon state?"
Noah didn't respond verbally, instead leaning his head closer and nodding.
"And you don't want me to see?"
Hesitation, rare from the man that was proud and confident, and another nod.
"Why not?"
There was no response.
Kaden fell silent, eyes still closed and blocked by the heavy hand that rested upon them. It was strange, to think of Noah's weakness, that he could possibly possess any in the slightest.
It was strange, that Noah refused to reveal his appearance, as if it were something to be ashamed about, when the appearance of a dragon could never be scorned or ridiculed.
And once again, Kaden realized, that he really didn't understand the dragon called Noah Bellamy in the slightest.
Noah shuffled behind him, muttering softly. "You put me on a pedestal, Chauvet. How could I let you see me, when all you do is look as if I'm the protagonist of a story, and not as if I'm real?"
Kaden's eyes snapped open as he attempted to spin his head around, only to find himself fixed in place. The fairy and the Organizer stared at him in confusion, not hearing the whispered conversation.
He attempted to move, grabbing Noah's wrist.
"Bellamy, what are you talking—"
"And that I'm as ugly inside as any others. That I would clip your wings and bind you to me if that would keep you flying to your death."
Kaden's hand that was struggling to pry away fell to his side listlessly, startled by the vulnerability in Noah's words.
"Are you scared, Chauvet?" muttered Noah, a trace of hesitation in his question.
Kaden remained silent, only the rise of his shoulders telling of alertness.
Slowly, he pulled the hand away from his eyes, placing a little pressure. Noah resisted, but eventually relented as the span of the deadly, pointed wing appeared in his vision, curved around his body.
"Admittedly, a little." He breathed, a cold chill darting up his arms—he hadn't felt such fear since his youth, but it wasn't the same. "Is it your natural disposition to radiate a dangerous air? And I should also remind you, I don't have wings for you to clip. Should I offer my hands instead?"
Noah felt a little speechless. "Is this a time to make jokes?"
"It isn't a joke if I mean it. It's a genuine suggestion."
"You're insufferable."
"Mn, you tell me so often."
It was a regular exchange that made Kaden appear to be calm when he was anything but. His gaze raked over the wing again, from every curve to every line.
The pointed bone tips that protruded gleamed, sharpened to a narrowed point, a single touch ready to draw crimson blood.
The Organizer stiffened, solemnly watching at the side. Beside, the faerie watched with great interest.
With his eyes uncovered, a race of ice crawled up Kaden's spine, and the instinct that rang in his mind reminded him of a nearby danger. Of something deadly. It was an instinct that kept him alive all these years.
And he ignored it.
With all that Noah had given him, now speaking with such honesty, how could Kaden bear to deny and reject him? For an aura he'd been given at birth, this wing, twisted and frightening—it could not be called pretty, but devastating.
But despite both his aura and wing being part of him, part of the pieces that made the dragon named Noah Bellamy, it barely told his story.
The story of a writer, young and free, of the life of a dragon that listened to Kaden patiently at his side, of the kindness that he possessed.
Kaden felt calm, calmer than he'd ever been as he reached out. A resistance pressed against his hand, he couldn't deny feeling the hesitation of his body. The reaction of a human in the face of something much grander.
Again, he ignored them, the warnings of his own body.
Running a gentle hand along the wing, he felt it curve closer against the press of his fingers. A soft, velvety membrane that pulsed with a beat of life.
Noah stiffened, long turned to stone, frozen in place. However, he didn't retract his wing, though a twitch told he felt Kaden's touch.
Kaden, less fearful and more curious, wondered. "You have a second, don't you?"
Noah lowered his gaze to the man before him. "...naturally. My present state is an incomplete form—it wasn't my intention."
"Hm," A light hum. "I'd like to see it sometime."
"...is that so?"
Kaden smiled, tilting his head back slightly, but not enough to see Noah's face. One step at a time—if Noah didn't want to be seen, then Kaden wouldn't see him.
"That isn't really an answer, Bellamy."
Noah sighed helplessly, a sudden coolness washing over him. The raging nausea of emotions stilled, calming. Quietly, he watched the man before him. "I'll schedule you in for an appointment."
"Do I have to pay?"
"Do you have money to spare? A dragon's wings aren't cheap."
"I think I should get a discount." Kaden insisted. "A friendship discount."
Noah was slightly amused by the bargaining, the tension in his shoulders slumping. "I offer discounts for family members."
"I suppose the only solution is the become family with you then, Bellamy?" There was a cheekiness to Kaden's smile, a knowing look. It appeared that the man had realized something, but it wasn't the right time to talk about it.
Kaden Chauvet wasn't completely dense. Although the idea of a person caring for him was surreal, and he couldn't help but doubt it, both friends and anything more.
A suspicion tugged at his chest, uncertain and quiet.
Noah breathed out again, closing his eyes. "I suppose It is."
His emotions had completely steadied, and regaining control, Noah retracted the wing and his other features, shaping them back into a normal, human appearance. He shuddered, feeling bone snap back into his body, an aching pain from deep inside.
Kaden felt a loss against his hand, but understood that Noah didn't want to be seen—and since that was the case, he wouldn't want to remain in that form.
The two men separated after a beat of hesitation, and Kaden felt the hand that lingered against his arm. He paused, and then smiled with a teasing air to his voice. "Bellamy?"
"Yes?"
Kaden turned around, patting the hand that lingered. "Do you have separation anxiety?"
"I had a stray dog, once. It was clingy despite being cold and growling at me every day. Really, do any of your genetics have a connection to dogs—"
"They do not." Noah closed his eyes, inhaling and exhaling deeply. Whatever moment had been brewing was easily destroyed by Kaden's solemn words.
Then his stare changed. When had Kaden adopted an animal—he hadn't heard of it before. Not to say it was impossible, with the feline attached to Kaden's hair for the majority of the day, but the dragon was distinctly aware of the turmoils in the palace.
Would a starved, mistreated orphan be given permission to feed and house an animal?
It didn't make sense. Considering Kaden's words implied that he'd been with the animal long enough for it to become closer, and that there wasn't much sorrow in his words, implying that it wasn't as if the dog met a tragic end.
Then, it would've been a stray he picked up in the recent years, rather than his childhood where he could barely care for himself.
If so, what happened to it? Where was it now?
"You have a habit of picking up strays." said Noah instead of asking.
"More than picking them up, I think they find me instead? I'm sure it's because I look wealthy and reliable—"
"Lonely creatures tend to seek out like minds."
Kaden ignored Noah's implications with that sentence, drawn to the memories of the adorable, grumpy stray he picked up. Then, he realized why for a second, the dragon had gazed at him oddly.
The stray dog he picked up wasn't in this life time.
Kaden's mind throbbed. The dull memories, blurred and faded, of his second life. But that didn't make sense—when he'd just lived it, yet his first life was so vivid and clear. That was also incorrect.
What was vivid was the trauma instilled into his bones.
Despite that, the odd life he lived in that strange world was foggier than it should've been. He'd lived an entire life—a short one that ended with an untimely death, yes, but a life nevertheless.
A childhood that he could hardly remember... he'd been an orphan in that new world too, as if being without family was the natural order of his life. Up until he turned 18, the memories were jumbled and disorganized.
As if he were a viewer watching outside, an entire play occurring before him.
When he woke up, in a bed drenched with sweat, it had been a random day that he suddenly saw clarity in his mind. He'd curled up in blankets like sandpaper, the texture rough on his skin and hardly warm.
After that day... after that day, what did he do?
It was like he'd been in a long dream the entire time, and he suddenly woke up. He studied after somehow enrolling into some cheap college, and eventually got roped into a service that specialized and were involved with abuse cases.
He'd forgotten all about it. Until now. Granted, the life he lived was hardly worth remembering, sleepless nights and a pathetic existence, but it had entirely slipped his mind.
As his mind continued to wander, Kaden abruptly excused himself. There was a bit of dizziness, and being distracted would expose unwanted things to the three that gazed at him curiously.
The faerie seemed to sulk at his farewell, having not been able to play around as much as they wanted. The Organizer had disappeared at some unknown time while Kaden spoke to the faerie.
He turned his head to the empty hallway, lips curving into a frown.
Turning his attention back to the fairy who hovered around him, warily gazing at Noah, Kaden looked once more at the portraits hanging on the wall.
The fairy smiled lightly. "Are you curious, dear? For a price, I would happily answer any question you ask."
"It's a price he can't afford." Noah spoke up in a low voice.
The fairy remained cautious towards the dragon, but still smiled. "Dear, if you keep trying to pretend to be what you're not, it won't end with you becoming a fake version of yourself. It'll end with you falling to ruin."
Noah narrowed his eyes at their warning, vague and not hinting at anything specific.
"Should I fall to ruin," he spoke quietly, with firmness. "Then I'll claw my way back up."
"Ah, you dragons are certainly good at that, persistent as you are." The faerie seemed pleased at his answer, smiling to themselves. "But are you capable of carrying another on your back?"
With nothing further to say, Kaden escaped and was escorted back by Noah who refused to let the other leave on his own.
On the way back, Kaden looked at the dragon.
"By the way, Bellamy, I appreciate it, but I'm going to our room. You can continue to explore. Don't worry about me."
The dragon stared at him pointedly, a silent refusal.
"What danger could I possibly encounter?"
The dragon's dark gaze dragged down to the dried blood slit across Kaden's neck, and the opened injury on his pants that had been entirely darkened by red. Kaden followed the gaze, and then looked up.
One human and one dragon stared at each other.
The former offered a sheepish smile. "...tell me, Bellamy, would you believe me if I tell you I spilled some tomato sauce on myself?"
Noah raised an eyebrow. The quiet stare was simply impossible to lie to with a straight face, and Kaden soon looked away.
Later, in their room, the atmosphere was a little stiffing.
Kaden looked at the whorl on top of Noah's head. The dragon, bent down on one knee, slid his gloved hands over Kaden's legs, gently rolling the pants up to reveal an ugly, gaping wound.
There was some pressure on his leg and Kaden winced.
The dragon's stare flicked up, scolding. "Now you can feel it?"
"...no, it's fine."
The hand pressing around the wound squeezed firmly in challenge.
Kaden pressed his lips together and refused to answer. It was strange—it hadn't been anything unbearable, and it still wasn't terrible, but the pain seemed more apparent than before. As if Kaden's barrier had slipped away, revealing the pain he'd grown used to ignoring.
Noah sighed as his hands carefully applied an ointment to the wound, fingers smearing the cold liquid as Kaden felt both hot and cold at the same time. He moved his leg but was held firmly.
His calf was kneaded, carefully dressed. Kaden licked his dry lips and looked away.
Noah, focused, noticed Kaden's discomfort and opened his mouth to speak. "Nearby, there are some human towns. They change—the roads don't lead to the same place, and that's how the Land of the Fae remain hidden. It's easy to get lost on a path."
"Human towns? That's interesting, you'd think the fairies would attempt to steer clear of humans if possible, considering the recent events."
Kaden was brought back to the information the Organizer shared before slipping away. It might be worth investigating. Before, in one of the underground meetings, somebody had mentioned a spreading illness in smaller towns as well.
He'd been distracted, lately, plans thrown out of motion.
There was still the tasks left by Mr. Mask—there was no time limit, so Kaden hadn't rushed to complete them. He needed to build his reputation, but he still had time.
There was still time.
The four words repeated in Kaden's head, a reminder.
But time would continue moving, and so would he. It was easy to run out of time while caught up in the fact that one had a surplus of it.
He listened to Noah describe the towns, narrowing his mind onto one. On the list of ingredients the mysterious figure sought, there was a red berry coloured by a lavender hue inside. It was common in several potion recipes, but also uncommon to find.
Often found in smaller towns that were rich in soil and land, growing like small weeds in the nutrient-rich soils that were often left unbothered. One of the nearby towns met the requirements, and also would allow him to investigate the fairy-human relationship.
He mentally noted it in his mind, skimming the list in his head. He'd found two of the herbs while out, once at a small stall that sold a variety of spices, and one while he was outside.
That would be three out of the five ingredients listed. If he found the berry, he would hurry a little to find the last ingredient and sneak into the underground meeting again.
After all, he now had information on the missing dragon.
Thinking this, Kaden nodded to himself. He would focus on completing the tasks and building his reputation next. While he was thinking, at some point, Noah had stood up, one knee kneeling beside Kaden as he leaned back on the bed.
The dragon tilted Kaden's chin up, eyebrows furrowing. Kaden was forced to meet the other's annoyed gaze as it traced the lines of his neck, the rounded bump that bobbed with a gulp.
Noah sighed. "Keep your head tilted back."
Kaden spoke hurriedly. "Really, Bellamy, there's no need—"
"Do you need me to hold your chin for you?"
"....." Unable to retort, Kaden exposed the vulnerable skin to Noah.
Under the faint lights that hung from softly glowing flowers lined against the branches crossed over the ceiling, the dragon paused and slowly traced ointment on the thin but sharp wound. He pressed down lightly, feeling how Kaden's neck moved when he swallowed.
Kaden was exhausted, running around and having his mind disturbed. He gazed at the pulsing lights, the petals that curled above his head, and his eyelids felt heavy.
A few minutes later, a head fell sideways and Noah caught the man's head.
The dragon froze, gazing deeply at the figure that had fallen asleep, dark bags under their eye. A soft breathing, features smoothened and relaxed in Noah's presence.
He carefully moved the sleeping man back onto the bed, black eyes never straying.
Alone in the room, one awake and the other asleep, it was unknown what the dragon was thinking.