How to Make a Sinner Sleep - Chapter 66: Chapter 66

Tears welled in Holly's hazel eyes, hair frizzed and combed into two messy braids. It'd taken five shots to reduce her to that state, blubbering as she hastily wiped them away. "This tastes so good..." she whined, smacking her lips as she clung to her friend.
Nicola smiled with amusement, gentle cherry gaze curving. "Does it?"
"You should know... you tried some! Don't lie to me!"
It was a strong alcohol, a speciality in the Land of the Fae. Nobody wanted to guess how she acquired it, though knowing the woman's extroversion, it was simple for her to strike up a conversation and charm them into giving her gifts.
The liquid burned in their throats, leaving a deep but subtle hint of oak on their tongues. The initial flavour was a faint floral sweetness.
Nicola had tasted it with moderation, elegantly raising a small wooden cup to her lips, eyelashes fluttering closed as she savoured the taste. After Holly begun to sway, she'd stopped drinking to watch her silly friend.
"Hey, hey, let's—" Holly hiccuped, scrunching her nose. Her tolerance was terrible, words slurring. "Let's play a game~ We're all friends, right? Heh, um— hic! Say, how about... a question game?"
On the bed beside her, Niklas grinned cheekily as he leaned forward, resting his chin on his hand. "Oh? What sort of questions? Any limitations?"
"Answer or take a shot!" She declared, fist-pumping the air before twisting her body and patting herself on the back in praise. Deciding it wasn't enough, she grabbed Nicola's hand and patted her own back with it. "Hm~ half a shot... half a short, or it'll end too soon!"
Nicola laughed quietly, her eyes softening. "Just a sip for you, I think."
"Yes ma'am!"
Niklas spread his arms, feeling ignored as his question was left unanswered. "Alright, sirs and ladies, let's get to know each other to the depth of our souls. It's getting late, but this is a good opportunity." He lifted his gaze to Nicola, smiling behind his mused chestnut curls. "You first, Ms. President?"
"Me? Very well, ask away. I'll answer whatever I am able to."
"Tell me something none of us know about you? Or something most of us don't."
"That sounds more like a demand than a question, Niklas."
"I posed it as a question so I declare it is one."
The woman tilted her hair on an angle, feeling a tug on her silky hair that had been left loose. Holly, at some point, found some entertainment in braiding Nicola's soft hair. The president allowed her head to remain at a tilt as she continued thinking.
Her eyes met the two on the opposing bed, landing on Kaden's.
"A long time ago slums. What you may believe to be the lowest in this society. I lived my every day there."
Kaden's head snapped up in surprise, clarity filling his mind momentarily. He'd taken a few shots, under the prompting of Niklas and Holly, who alone were persistant enough to be irresistable, and together made a vicious team.
The dragon too, showed some surprise at the woman's confession.
They waited for a continuation, but Nicola had already said her piece. "I believe it's my turn to ask next?"
Niklas nodded, waving. "Yeah, it is. Ask anybody. Well, I don't really know how the rules to this works, but we'll follow our own rules."
Once again, the president's gaze briefly landed on Kaden, pausing for several beats. A question rested at the tip of her tongue. However, she turned her head and smiled plesantly at Niklas. "Then, I'll ask you one in return, Niklas. What's your favourite colour?"
Niklas laughed. "That's too simple of a question."
"Do you refuse to answer?" She smiled again and reached out to grab the glass, ready to pour a shot.
"No, no, no I have an answer. It's... pink." He winked at Kaden whose lips twisted into a grimace. "I'm kidding. It was my mother's favourite colour. She... had many dresses and jewels in all the variations of pink. It reminds me of her."
"That's very sweet of you, Niklas."
"Feeding my ego now, are you, Nicola?"
"You are certainly talented in stirring up emotions in other people."
"Love? Adoration?"
The woman's smile was still sweet and kind. "Annoyance."
"...Kaden's been influencing you, Pres. That's dangerous. I can only bear one person insulting me—it's already enough that he teams up with Noah, at times. Speaking of," Niklas spun around excitedly, and Noah felt dread in his stomach. "You!"
"...Yes?"
"Do you have any siblings?"
Kaden's ears perked at the question, a silly arrogance brewing in his chest. It was an answer he already knew, he thought with a sort of ridiculous pride. His cheeks had flushed slightly although his mind remained mostly clear, but the slip of a smile appeared at his lips.
The dragon seemed to realize something and glanced sideways briefly, witnessing the few seconds of a silly expression that soon disappeared.
The fool looked a little proud about something.
"I have a younger sister, and an older brother. Once, I had a younger brother as well." Noah never shied from speaking of his youngest sibling—it would be like pretending that child never existed, and he didn't want to do so.
"If you're comfortable, can you tell us about your youngest brother?" wondered Nicola gently.
Many would hover around the conversation—it was never easy to speak about grief, to know the right answer that would soothe a wounded heart.
But there were those who didn't wish to make the deceased a taboo. There was no wrong or right in grief, and Noah's manner of speaking implied he wanted to speak of them, regardless of their tragedy.
Kaden clutched a pillow close, curling against it as he lazily leaned his weight against the soft material. His pink hair fell over his face as he peered over, a sleepy mist over his face. "Tell us... so we can remember your brother too, is that right?"
That was the reason Nicola asked.
Or rather than knowing, it was a thought that made sense. Kaden, this terrible sinner, was used to dealing with loss and grief, the misery over lives that were lost by his hand or another's. For him, pretending they didn't exist never helped him, but only burdened.
For Kaden, he could only deal loss by remembering. By knowing that they lived, even if they did no longer.
The dragon's eyes widened slightly before softening, a distant glaze settling over black eyes. "He was rebellious. I was younger, when we lost him. We—my kind—are ones that keep to ourselves, even within family." Then, almost with uncertainty, he added, "But family is the most important thing."
Kaden inched closer, despite already being close, interested in listening. Noah noticed and he paused to wait for the other to settle into a comfortable position, and continued.
"He wanted to be a hero, my little brother. An adventurer. He wanted to see the world and become somebody known."
Holly sobbed again, sniffling as she dabbed at her face with her sleeve. "Man, that's really similar to humans. Who would've thought?"
"What differentiates us are our appearances, our culture. Our blood. Hopes and dreams, idealistic futures, do not belong to humans alone." His voice sounded bitter, cold.
"...No, you're right. Sorry, Noah. That's not what I meant."
"....." Noah didn't seem to have meant to spoken out—perhaps the alcohol was reaching his mind as well. "Regardless," He took a heavy breath, the weight of all his sorrows and grief behind it. "He was precious."
The air fell stagnant, a pause as nobody knew what to say. The atmosphere was heavier, and while no tears hung at the edge of the dragon's sharp gaze, there was the unmistakable sense of sadness.
Calmly, he broke the silence. "It's my turn."
"Ah..." Nicola blinked, and then nodded gently. "Yes, go ahead."
The dragon turned at the sleepy fellow beside him, slightly concerned. Did alcohol make him fall sleepy—it would do no good if Kaden become reliant on that method.
Kaden frowned. "Why are you staring at me?"
Nervously, he took another sip at his cup, the burn warming up his stomach.
Of them all, he'd had the most to drink. After all, it was easier to drink than to make conversation, stuck in a small space where all one could do was talk. It didn't help that Niklas and Holly encouraged him while bickering.
Noah glared at the empty cup that had been full a moment earlier, as if staring could will it away. However, he had to be careful to not overstep his boundaries and scare that alerted fox, always eager to dash away.
Kaden's head was dizzy and he was both aware and unaware simultaneously.
"Chauvet."
"Yes?"
"Tell me something you want to tell me but can't."
"Mn?" Kaden tilted his head, pursing his lips as his nose scrunched. "What sort of... question is that? It's not a question... as Nicola said, dearest Bellamy, that is a demand."
Noah glanced at the cup, and altered the question slightly so that Kaden wouldn't take another shot. "Can you tell me something simple, something foolish. A thing you don't want to tell me—it doesn't need to be anything significant."
Kaden hummed again, curling more into himself as he leaned his head on the pillow, and a slow smile spread across his face. "Alright. Bellamy,"
"Yes?"
"You'll have to lean closer," He glanced at the other three, shrugging. "Unless you're interested in hearing my secret confession of love?"
"Hey!" protested Holly. "It's something you can't say, not something you announce every day, everywhere! And also yes! Of course I want to hear it—is there even another answer? Share the love~ hic!"
"I don't want to hear it."
A male voice spoke, and all heads turned to look at Niklas whose gaze was sharp and aware. In the next second he laughed sloppily, spreading his arms in an exaggerated movement. "You'll make me sad, Kaden! I'll be all alone... sending my son away for marriage..."
Holly considered it, and then sobbed into Nicola's arms. The other woman seemed to accept the situation, patting her friend's back softly. "You're right! I'll be alone—keep your romance out of my face! Only for now though!"
Nicola only looked up at Kaden. "How are you feeling, Kaden? You've had much more than all of us. Your tolerance is quite admirable."
"I'm fine. Thanks, Nicola."
The answer relieved Nicola and she returned her attention to Holly who was still fake crying into her arms.
Noah glanced at the others, and then leaned closer as ordered.
"A thing I cannot tell you, more so than my deep feelings for you," Kaden chuckled lightly at Noah's slightly annoyed expression. "If I had a choice, Bellamy,"
Kaden felt like he was floating in a delirium between dreams and reality. And perhaps that was why the answer he originally intended to make into a joke because a somber truth.
"I would've never become friends with you."
The dragon's beating heart chilled in an instant, his entire face becoming frosty. He swallowed, carefully observing the fool's smiling face.
He stared into the green eyes that he determined he could stare at for an eternity. "Why?"
The room was dim, and the three others had noticed the change in the atmosphere, all turning to look at the opposing pair. Silence suddenly became a rope drawing taut around their necks.
But all Kaden saw was Noah Bellamy, waiting for an answer. Waiting, always waiting.
'Because the more I know you, the more uncertain I become about the future.'
'Because my will now wavers.'
'Because I do not deserve knowing somebody like you.'
"Because it can only end miserably." He said instead of the many reasons running through his mind. "Because knowing you was something I never wanted."
A lie. And a truth, all at once.
Knowing Noah Bellamy in the way that he did, the way the dragon was more than a powerful and cold, handsome young man who could become the saviour to the Kingdom, was not something Kaden ever anticipated.
Noah drew back, sucking in a sharp intake of air as his expression remained impassive, nothing revealed in his the depths of his eyes. "Is that so?"
Niklas moved, rising from the spot he sprawled on. "You guys..."
"It's Chauvet's turn to ask a question." Noah interrupted coldly.
Niklas leaned back again, but his hands were grasped together tightly. Nicola moved away from Holly slightly, glancing over at her side. They seemed to share an inquiry and Niklas shook his head lightly.
Kaden blinked, not seeming to understand the impact his words had caused. When he woke later, the startling realization would strip him of any lasting dizziness. That was, if he remembered everything in clarity, by the time he woke.
But the mind had a strange way of forgetting the important things.
The question exchange continued into the night, a cheery and relaxed atmosphere gradually returning. Only Noah remained quiet, answering bluntly, without adding anything additional as he did for the first question.
Without a doubt, whenever it was Noah's turn, he would turn to Kaden.
There was a bitterness spreading in his chest. A dark gloom that he often chose to ignore, negativity he pretended not to know.
He lowered his voice and asked, "One of the injuries on your back. What's their story?"
Kaden jolted, hesitating. He hadn't expected the dragon to ask something so personal, though Noah had worded it in a way that didn't expose him entirely.
There was no kindness in the dark stare, but even so, the dragon waited.
Kaden tipped his head back and took a shot.
The game continued in a similar manner. Niklas had described his relationship with his deceased mother, how he respected her, how his father had loved her beyond death. Nicola shared an experience from living in the slums, about a boy she deeply admired.
She didn't go into details about that scene.
Holly went on a prattle about her dreams, about the horrible sights she'd seen in public that made her start to record her every memory, imprinting good and bad to mind.
Noah described the lands he lived, briefly mentioning how it wasn't a life he wanted to live. And then, he would turn and ask Kaden a question he knew the other man wouldn't answer.
Kaden would tip his head back again expressionlessly, and take a shot.
Eventually, Holly couldn't stop sobbing into Nicola's arms, and Kaden's eyes remained closed despite his quiet answers. He clutched the pillow in his arms as if it were his sole family, unwilling to let go.
Niklas, who'd been behaving drunk and laughing with a goofy smile, abruptly stood up. He scanned the room and yawned loudly. "Alright, let's wrap it up. The Pres is going to drown in tears at this rate."
Nicola looped her arm around Holly, scooping the other girl into a carry. She moved her head to shrug hair out of her eyes and nodded.
Niklas whistled. "Look how strong you are, Pres. I'll walk you two back."
On the bed, instinctively with his eyes still closed, Kaden begun to stand up.
"No, no, no, not you. You get to stay. Here. I'm sure you can bear to be without your best friend for a few minutes—and you're in no state to be walking."
Silently, Kaden plopped back down on the bed without complaints.
Niklas sighed with amusement, shaking his head at the rare display of obedience. "You're really... well, I'll be back soon. Sit tight, the two of you."
The door closed behind him leaving the crowded room sparse with the company of two. They remained quiet, Kaden hugged the pillow, feeling a little nervous amidst his dizzy thoughts.
Noah wouldn't look at him. "Chauvet,"
"...Mn?"
"Do you plan to run away soon?"
Kaden didn't answer, and Noah didn't ask again. The dragon felt it, that murkiness in his chest that burned with an alternating heat and cold that made him uncomfortable.
Asking questions he knew that Kaden wouldn't answer—that was cruel. Patience, he knew, was essential when pursuing a fool.
But Kaden's words were as if everything they'd experienced were nothing.
They were unwanted moments, a kindness unappreciated.
That wasn't true—Noah knew. That Kaden didn't take anybody for granted, that he was ridiculous and treasured every moment. Because any moment could become his last; he lived believing there was an end.
His fingers, gloved, dug into his thighs. Dragons were, as some knew, possessive. Their emotions could easily fall out of control, made of an intensity many couldn't bear.
Therefore, it was easier to be alone, unbound.
It was better to not feel than to feel too much, to feel an insanity that couldn't be calmed. That was how Noah was taught for his own sake and those around.
Because a dragon blindsided by emotion was a monster to be feared.
Noah was a fine thread at the edge of being snapped. And Kaden was the open scissors that could close at any second.
Noah Bellamy wanted to be kind when kindness wasn't something he knew. He wanted to be patient when he'd lived his life with impatience. He wanted to drown Kaden in a comfort that couldn't be resisted, no matter the resistance.
"Chauvet, come closer to me."
Kaden, only obedient in his drunken state, shuffled closer.
"Look at me."
Kaden, with some struggle, cracked his sleepy eyes open.
"Are you listening?"
There was a subtle nod.
"Dragons are born with a buried madness, a pool of oil waiting to be set aflame." Noah said quietly as Kaden held his tired head to listen. "Do you hear me, Kaden Chauvet?"
Another nod.
"If you want to run away in the future, then never return. Never let me set my eyes upon you again, and I'll grant your wish. It'll be as if we've never known each other."
Kaden's head stilled before he nodded again.
"This is a warning, Chauvet."
The dragon moved closer, carefully cradling Kaden's face, imprinting the man's image into his dark gaze.
Kaden struggled slightly against Noah's hold, forced to meet the dragon's turbulent gaze. All his senses were overwhelmed; vision, touch, scent, ears all captured by a single force.
"If I find you again,"
And he wondered if it was his imagination that Noah's voice sounded pleading.
"I won't care what I must ruin to keep you by my side."