I still remember. Do You? ꒰ა yoonmi... - Chapter 43: Chapter 43

After the silence that surrounded them for so long, where they only heard each other's shallow breaths and pulsating heartbeat, Yoongi's weak voice is finally heard. It comes out like a mere whisper.
But in the tranquility that surrounded them, Yoongi's words filled up every corner of the room.
" I'm sorry."
He apologies with so many emotions in his voice and all the walls that Jimin has built to protect himself starts to get crumble down one by one.
Yoongi's one single apology has that much effect on him. But Jimin doesn't wanna hear those words, he doesn't want to hear anything now cause he's afraid how it'll effect him.
" I'm sorry, Min. I'm so sorry."
Yoongi now turns to face Jimin, it's dark but he manages to see his face even then. He isn't exactly happy if not more broken after hearing those words come from Yoongi's mouth.
" You should have said that long ago."
Jimin tries to keep his voice monotonous, but it starts to crack anyways. The lump in his throat is getting bigger and it's hard to swallow. The cries he has been trying to subdue is pushing to come out now.
" It doesn't matter now."
He replies, acting like he isn't affected at all, like all the air in his lungs didn't just gush out leaving him breathless and gasping for air.
" It does. It do matter, Jimin."
Jimin curls his hand around the sheet, his eyes stares at the white ceiling without even blinking. He's afraid if he close his eyes for even a second it'd fill up with tears.
He now seals his lips to not let Yoongi hear his crying sound, when at some point of his life, he would go to Yoongi whenever he wanted to cry. But currently he doesn't want to shed one single tear in front of him.
" I've committed the biggest sin of my life, let me let me apologise for it."
Yoongi has started sniffling by the time, but he isnt afraid like Jimin to show it. He's ready to show all his weakness to Jimin and wants Jimin to do the same.
" It's too late hyung."
His pitch is very low, because if he dares speak louder Yoongi would hear the pain and hurt in his voice. The pain that still stings his heart to this date.
"... Too late."
It's too late for everything. It's too late for his apologies, it's too late to fix what happened between them, it's too late- atleast that's what he thinks.
" You should have said these words to the Jimin who waited for you day and night, in hopes that you'll come back for him."
His protective bubble bursts and the words come out like a whisper shout. He stops holding himself back because he knows he need to let all these words out of his chest to finally be able to breathe again.
These words have been trying to come out for a long time but Jimin didn't let them so they caused him so much pain. A pain that has no other remedy. But it's finally the time to let them out. To bear his broken heart to Yoongi.
" Do you even know what I went through? "
He adds a bitter chuckle in the end of the sentence. Because the alpha would never know what he actually went through. How his life became a hell after he left.
He remembers the white walls, the empty room, the nauseating smell, the beeping sound. Calling for Yoongi but the alpha doesn't show up. Only to get told by his father that he can't reach Yoongi.
But he doesn't believe his father, he refused to believe that Yoongi would leave him like that.
He sent numerous messages to Yoongi, calling him every minute in a desperate attempt that Yoongi would finally get tired of his calls and pick up.
He didn't even sleep because he was waiting for Yoongi to come back...
But he never did.
" I waited for you like a faithful dog."
He never knew how he just became a mere pet who waited for his owner to come back home. His days only went by waiting for Yoongi and doing nothing else.
He acted oblivious to his surroundings and still waited for Yoongi to come back to him.
" I went to your house too, only to know you've already emptied it, your friends.. they didn't know about you either."
His heart broke even more when he saw the lock on the door behind which laid a world that he and Yoongi has built together. To him it was like Yoongi has abandoned their memories along with this old house.
He remembers coming back after asking Yoongi's friends about his whereabouts with a heavy heart. Sometimes he would even plop down on the side of the road and cry hysterically.
" I went to all your acquaintances like a madman hoping at least one of them would know something about you."
He went to each and every place that he could think of. He didn't even eat much food and just went around the city in his dishealeved state.
" I wanted to go to Daegu, your hometown. But I didn't know your address, I regretted not asking you about it."
" I was like a living dead for months Yoongi. I was breathing but not living."
Yoongi has been silently crying as he hear Jimin taking all those words off his chest. The guilt is eating him up from inside. And he thinks he deserves it...
" Taehyung and dad were worried sick about me. They tried everything to cheer me up, but this stupid heart only wanted you."
Jimin was in a bad state but so was his dad and Taehyung.
At that time Taehyung was in abroad for a study program, he hadn't came back home since one year but when he heard about all this and Jimin's condition, he didn't waste his time in getting the next flight back home.
His father and Taehyung's faces told Jimin how much worried they were about him and seeing them like that Jimin decided it was enough. He had enough of the past, he needed to move on, he can't live like this anymore.
For his dad... For his soulmate... For the people who stayed with him.
" But then I decided it was enough, i-i didn't deserve it. So, I took the scholarship and went abroad to forget about you."
It was a rush decision but his father was actually happy with that since he knew Jimin has always wanted that. So he gave him his permission even though he was not fully well.
" And I actually did. I actually did forget about you. Until I came back and everything went downhill again..."
His life seemed to get back on track after going to US if only he hadn't went to that place that day, if only he didn't meet Yoongi there. Maybe he'd have found a mate like his dad always ask him to do.
But would his heart be at peace that way? It's crazy how it still beats for Yoongi even though he's the one who broke it.
" You were there, right in front of me. Finally after waiting for years, I saw you..."
His heart was pounding so hard that day, he felt alive, felt like he could finally breathe after not doing so for so long. He felt genuine happiness, but that didn't last long.
" But this time you weren't alone. You--you were with your son."
He still remembers meeting Yoonjun for the first time there. He wished the boy would call Yoongi, his uncle, desperately wishing for that to happen. But it never did.
" Your son that resembles you so much. The son that you loves so much. The son who you gave the name that we had decided for OUR child Yoongi."
He didn't express his views about the name to Yoongi before but he's telling him now how much hurt he was by that. It's like Yoongi was making fun of his love. The name he has cherished so much, he couldn't bare seeing Yoongi give it like that to someone.
" While I dealt with loss and pain you happily moved on with your life like you didn't remember me."
He would have screamed these words at Yoongi's face but he's tired. He doesn't have much energy left and he feels like he could pass out any moment now because of these emotions. It's too much for him. It's like he unleashed a hurricane from inside and he can't control it.
" Was I that easy to forget, Yoongi? "
He finally turns around to stare at Yoongi. His own tears stained eyes looked at Yoongi's one.
Even though he hates Yoongi the most right now, he still wants the alpha to comfort him, it's such a conflict for him
" Did you never love me? "
His voice is broken now, he asks for reassure like a child. He wants Yoongi to tell him that he loved him and that he wasn't the only one holding on.