I still remember. Do You? ꒰ა yoonmi... - Chapter 44: Chapter 44

Yoongi put his shaky hand out, doing so very slowly, because he didn't want to trigger Jimin in any way. His whole body was trembling by all the things that Jimin has said.
He has never hated himself this much before. He's Jimin's wrongdoer. He knew he had hurted Jimin with his actions but he never knew he hurted him this much.
He should have been the one to go through all this pain. Not his Jimin. He did nothing wrong.
He finally let his hand settle on Jimin's stained cheek. And surprisingly Jimin didn't pushed his hand away, he closed his eyes to experience the touch more deeply. It only made him cry even more.
" I only loved you Jimin, only you and you."
Yoongi's words make him let go of his breath that he has been holding. It comes out with a choked sob.
" Then why did you leave me Y-yoongi, tell me why? I've been dying to know."
Yoongi cries harder at that, his silent sob mixing with Jimin's gentle sniffle. The moonlight make their tears glisten in the darkness.
" I- I wish I could tell you right now."
He put both his hand on Jimin's face, afraid he would leave him if he didn't hold him like that.
" Fuck, I really can't Jimin. I'm sorry."
He bites his lips so hard that they start to bleed, his mouth soon taste the metallic taste of his blood.
" P-please try to understand. Give me some time."
He begs like all his life depend on it. His eyes show Jimin how desperately he wants Jimin to understand him and his situation. But Jimin can't. He wants answer after suffering for so many years. He isn't the most patient person, but he has already tried to be patient with him so much.
" I'll explain everything. I'll tell you everything. Just- just some more time please."
Jimin starts to back away from Yoongi's hold and the alpha started panicking at the loss of warmth. He doesn't like that, he doesn't want to hide anything from Jimin too, but it's his situation that is to blame here.
If only things weren't this way he'd have never left Jimin in the past, then they'd still be living a happy life. But he can't go back in past now, so he has to mend their present.
" Please don't l-leave me Jimin ah."
He shows his most vulnerable form to Jimin. This raw side of the alpha that Jimin has never seen before. He couldn't have believes that the alpha had such a side to him because of how strong Yoongi usually is.
" I-i beg you. I won't be able to live without you."
Yoongi wants to cry out loudly, but he can't do that so he continues to speak with his restrained voice. His hands tremble as they try to reach out for Jimin. But they never make it to Jimin's body, the omega is slipping out of his grasp again and Yoongi is afraid that if he let this happen again he'd break for real this time.
He wouldn't be able to collect himself like the last time.
" Me and Yoonjun- we both need you."
He hiccups, remembering the smile on his son's face that forms because of Jimin. By now he has seen the deep bond that's forming between them and he knows that Yoonjun needs Jimin just like he needs him.
" We both need you so fucking much."
He wishes he could show Jimin how much important he is in their lives now. Maybe the omega hasn't noticed it, but he made their lives more happy and enjoyable just by his mere presence.
" I would die without yo-"
Jimin didn't let him complete his sentence and throws his arms around him, engulfing him in a hug. He could never want Yoongi to complete that sentence, he doesn't want Yoongi to even think about something like that.
His actions leave Yoongi in a frozen state. He stayed frozen like that until his cold body gets warm again in Jimin's hold.
" Calm down, Yoongi."
He rubs Yoongi's back until the alpha stops shaking and his breathe becomes normal again. Seeing Yoongi's condition like this, Jimin can't understand that how was the alpha able to leave him in the first place when he reacts like this towards the possible thought of him going away.
" Please don't leave me Jimin ah. P-please."
Yoongi's voice is full of desperation and sincerity. He holds Jimin's shirt like a little child.
" Give me a s-second chance. I want to prove my love to you, I want to tell you how much you mean to me. I want to pay for my sin."
He starts to ramble by now, his eyes not breaking the eye contact with Jimin. He wants to make Jimin understand that whatever he's saying is all true and sincere feelings that he has for him. He wants to let Jimin know of his true intentions.
Jimin sighs, it breaks his heart seeing Yoongi like that. But this all wouldn't change the fact that he was hurt by Yoongi in the past. And he couldn't understand Yoongi truly until he knows his reason behind all this.
He slowly wraps his own hands around Yoongi's that's curled around his shirt. He gently caressed the back of his hand with his thumb.
" You broke my heart Yoongi. You hurt me so much that I'm still not okay. I don't know if I could let me heart fall for you again."
His words are no longer laced with anger, but his tone is like he's tired of fighting. Like he just wants to calm his broken heart.
" Then let me mend your heart. I-i want to win your trust once again."
He takes his hand out of Jimin's grip and cupped Jimin's face in between them, making him look back at him.
" I don't know, Yoongi."
He's hesitant but not hostile towards the idea. Because he knows that deep inside behind the mist of hurt, his heart wants the same.
" You don't have to do anything, I'll be the one to do that. Just keep your heart open for me."
Jimin doesn't say anything to that but Yoongi found his answer in Jimin's shinning eyes.
" Just know what I did back then, it wasn't voluntary."
He wipes Jimin's tears with his hand, he'd have loved to kiss them away but he doesn't have the right to do that now.
" I could have never thought about separating from you even in my wildest dreams."
He runs his hand through Jimin's soft lock, gently patting his head along the way. He used to do it alot in the past, because it brings peace to Jimin.
" You were my future Jimin, you were my everything. Separating from you was like separating from my soul."
The pain he experienced-- he thinks even death wouldn't be this much painful. The separation was worse for both of them. But it's just that we only got to see one side of that.
" It hurt me as much as it hurt you."
He didn't have a friend like Taehyung in which he could have confide in, but he's glad that at least Taehyung was there for Jimin. That's why he has so much love and respect for the alpha in his heart.
And he wouldn't have been that hurt if Jimin decided to spend the rest of his life with Taehyung, because Taehyung is everything that's he's not. And he's capable of keeping Jimin happy. Probably the only person that Yoongi could have trusted Jimin with.
But the fate have it's own way of bringing estranged lovers back together.
" Then why didn't you come back to me?"
" Because I couldn't. I couldn't, Jimin. I couldn't..."
If he could, he'd have never left in the first place. He's not a crazy person to leave his lover like that.
" Once you're ready, will you tell me everything ?"
Yoongi frantically nods at that.
" Of course, Jimin. I-i'll tell you everything. Just not right now."
And even though Jimin's head wants to know everything right now. He decides to trust Yoongi and give him some time, so he can explain everything once he's ready. The sincerity and love in Yoongi's eyes won him over today.
" Okay."
" I'll wait for you."
His one sentence made Yoongi smile his biggest smile in years. A smile that Yoongi has lost the day he turned away from Jimin's life.
" Thank you- thank you so much, baby."
" Can I?"
He stops in the middle of the hug to ask Jimin's permission, he's now very careful to not hurt Jimin by any of his action.
Once he gets the green light, he wastes no time in engulfing Jimin in the tightest hug ever, like there's no tomorrow for them.
He inhales Jimin's sweet scent that soon mixes with his own because of their close proximity.
Being in his alpha's arms bring peace to Jimin's omega. He finally feels whole again. Like the colours are finally back in his dull monotonous life.
" I'm sorry for hurting you so much, Min ah. I would never leave you again."
Yoongi whispers across his shoulder.
" I would kill you if you do that."
Jimin's threat brings out a chuckle from Yoongi. He's so happy today.
" I won't give you any opportunity to do that."
It feels nice to bicker like this again. It feels like they're back to being their normal selves that was lost among all these chaos.
" Shh, now sleep. It's been a long day for us. I don't want you to get sick."
It was a long day, even a long night. But with the start of a new day they see a new start of their lives too. A new chapter where they're back in each other arms. Some strings still tangled up, but for now they decide to focus on the ones that they have untangled.
" I'll be here for you, forever. My love."
Jimin lets his heavy eyelids fall down. He snuggles more into Yoongi, craving for his scent and warmth.
It feels safe and home like in Yoongi's arms. And Jimin wishes he would be able to spend rest of his life here.