I Still Want You [Taekook] - Chapter 20: Chapter 20

Seoul - November 2016
Jungkook's P.O.V
"He's my boyfriend. Why?"
One sentence which makes me feel like being hit by a bullet in the bruised chest.
As she pulls him out of the backstage room, Namjoon hyung also pull me back to our waiting room.
"Why? Why? Why?" Yoongi hyung yell at Jin Hyung while pushing him until he falls at the couch
"Hyung. You need to calm down" Jimin tried to soothing the raging man
"Why did you stop me from beating those bitch? Why?" He gripping Jin Hyung's collar
"Then I should let you beat them? In front of many people? and let them sue you?"
Yoongi Hyung snorting in annoyance, realizing what Jin Hyung said is true. Yoongi Hyung might be boiling inside, but I have an enormous explosion inside of me. I really want to pull their head from its body. How dare them to treat Tae like that. How I want to slap her, how much I want to let my inner psycho beat her to a pulp. My knuckles turn white from clenching my fist too hard, gritting my teeth from the effort to remain calm. My face red because of suppressed rage.
I have to give them a lesson
"Where are you going?" Namjoon hyung grab my hand as I open the door.
"don't act rashly, or everything you do will be in vain" he added
I just rolled my eyes.
"You hurt Tae enough. Don't give him any more problem" Jimin warned me with a killing glare in his eyes
He doesn't need to remind me how much I hurt Taehyung, because that guilty feeling never leaves me even for one millisecond. I'm very aware how much of a jerk I am. All that's left in me is a sorry heart, a broken one.
"I'm just going out for fresh air" With that, I'm leaving the room.
Everythings look so normal. I'm doing my routine activity, music show-interview-photoshoot-practice, always exactly repeat every day. Other than he is not being here, there's nothing different at all. I hadn't even spoken a single word, but I let him go. I miss him so much, want to see him so much. I just want to smile with him, want to forget everything, just like absolutely nothing has happened.
And it seems fate is playing a cruel joke on me. He's standing there, back-hugging, his girlfriend. It feels like I'm gonna die, what should I do?
"Tae, can we talk for a moment?" that words just slip out of my mouth
"I need to go," Krystal said to Taehyung.
"Hmm. let's talk later"
And she left, leaving the two of us who just look at each other eyes.
* * *
No One's P.O.V
"Is she your girlfriend?" the once longing stare at Taehyung's eyes, now turn into a disappointment.
"After all this time, is that what you need to say?"
there is no answer from the other male. He really wants to say sorry, but even saying sorry seems awkward.
"if you want to say sorry, that's not what I really want to hear from you. So you don't need to do that"
"How are you?"
Hearing that question, Taehyung can't make sense of anything. All that comes out is laughter, so he just laughed.
"Am I look okay? Am I look that happy? Am I look like someone who just wins the lottery?"
"I... " Jungkook doesn't know what to say. He doesn't be able to say a word in pleading.
"If you here just for courtesy, you better go away now."
"I'm sorry" Jungkook trying his best to holding back his tears.
"Didn't I already said that you don't need to say that word?"
"I don't want to be like this, I really don't want to, Really"
Taehyung just stays still, soon, without he even realizing, tears stream down his face.
"Can I ask something?" he said between his sobs, and the later just nodding his head in response
"Why are we breaking up? How do we break up? How?"
"It's the best for us. Believe me" Jungkook feel dumbfounded at his own answer. Even when he says this, he feels apologetic
The sobbing man wipes his tears, take a deep breath, and look at Jungkook right in his eyes. How much he miss that man. And the said male do the same, he tried to exert all of his energy to not hugging the crying man right at the moment. How much he wants to hug him, take him on his embrace, pampering him with kisses here and there. He really wants to do that.
"I believe in you, Kook. I always do."
"That's why I look like a fool" Taehyung continued
"Tae..."
"Don't say anything. Listen to me first." Jungkook nod signalling that he let Taehyung ranting everything he bottled up inside
"I'm so stupid and such a fool as I can't see anyone else but you. You probably never think of me at all, never have a dream of me, yet I'm still in love with you all alone. Since that day, I've lost my direction, I can't properly breath, I keep smiling despite crying endlessly, But you're so calm like it has nothing to do with you."
Jungkook wants to cut him off, saying his words in defence. He wants to tell him that he feels the same, all his calmness is just a mask that he put on his face to deceive everyone. But Taehyung speaks ahead of him.
"I tried to forget you so many times, told my self to move on from you for a thousand times, assuring my self that everything going be okay, doctrine my self that it doesn't right to love you, in the end, all of this is useless, just a self-deception. How can I forget you? I don't know how to do such things"
Jungkook comes closer to hug him. He can't hold back anymore seeing the man he loves hurt so much. But Taehyung took a step back away from him.
"Don't hug me. It just going to hurt me more. It hurts so much, Kook. It's weird I'm still alive. You said you'll stay with me, but you disappeared. It makes me realize that every promise you made is just a fairytale."
"Where are you when I need you the most? Where are you when my life turned into hell? Where are you when I'm missing you like crazy? Where?" Taehyung sobbed uncontrollably, his knees lost it strength and he fell limply on the floor.
Jungkook takes him in his arms, hugging him with his dear life, snuggle his head on Tae's shoulder make it drenched in his tears.
"I'm sorry Tae, really sorry. I didn't know that your life would collapse and fall, and without thinking I turned away from you. I thought it was the best for you, for us, it's the best way to protect you. Turn out that this is the biggest mistake I've ever made in my life. I'm sorry for your weary wounds that got cut again and again. The guilt I have to bear has been excruciating my life. I'm so in love with you, Tae. I sincerely do. Every night I dried my eyes out, asking God to always protect you. I'm sorry for being so stupid Tae. I know my mistake is unforgiven and unforgettable, but I'm sorry Love."
Taehyung just close his eyes when he heard Jungkook calling him by his favourite nickname.
"I believe you did all of this because of a reason, but for sure it's not because you want to protect me. Is it because of your fear of being judged? Or because I'm not your priority? Since the first time we're dating till now, you're still the same person, the same man I loved the most, just a different version. A different version with different priorities. I always give my best for our relationship, but your priorities are the one which never completes our 'happily ever after', Kook"
Taehyung push Jungkook away and stand up,
"It just two options, you love me or leave me. There is nothing in between. If you love me, then show me how much I'm worth in your life. But if you don't plan to spend the future with me, then just leave me alone and please don't ever come back. Or else my heart will find a reason to forgive you, again"